Sleeping and sleeping with spouse.

[Lena]

I've been thinking. My wife knows who I am but we've had a DADT policy other than wearing the occasional cami to bed or the constant wearing odd cotton panties.

She's always been reluctant to talk about anything else but she knows every morning after she leaves, I wear a chemise to do my morning rituals (shave, dress, brush teeth and coffee/daily news. ) lately, I wanted more time on comfortable clothes so I was thinking of telling her I want to wear nightie or cutesy jammies.

Now the question. I've seen many on here state that their so is accepting as long as nothing sexual happens while dressed. Have you found that to include modest sleepwear also? Do you think I would be shooting myself in the foot by wearing a nightie to bed?

Truth be told, I already wear these to bed but I usually sleep on the couch. (My god, she snores) I want my bed back

[Maxi]

When I met the wife, the first time she walked in the bed room, there was a slip laying on the bed. She asked "Who's is that?". I told her it was mine. I sleep in it. So it has never been a problem for me. I always sleep in a slip.

[Sarah Beth]

Every couple is different so it's hard to give you answer. I can only speak for myself. My wife has never objected to having sex with me when I am dressed, although she never wanted that as a steady diet. She can be somewhat off and on with the whole thing about my dressing too however. When our granddaughter moved in with us last summer all my things got relegated to storage but I have snuck a few things back out.

I think you just need to discuss it with your wife and see where she stands on it. From a comfort viewpoint for me at least I sleep better in one of my satin or tricot nighties than I do in my male pajamas.

[Robyn-aus]

We have matching nighties and wear one every night along with my bra My wife doesn't care what I wear

[RADER]

My wife always wore Pj's to bed, me a Nightie, Panties and some times a bra.
If we where to do anything sexual, well things where removed for the usual reasons.
Rader

[Kiwi Primrose]

I have worn nighties for all our married life with two exceptions -
- if I was staying at someone 's house and may be "caught"
- when we were petting and obviously were leading up to intercourse
These are unwritten rules but I would never go against them because I get so much encouragement in all the other ways.

[Bobbie Taylor]

When we were first married we both sleep in our "birthday suits". When the kids (4 not at one time but in 5 years) came along, I could not walk into their room at night with nothing on so I start wearing night shirts - men's nights shirts are now hard to find so I have been buying Lands Ends women's long night shirts almost 20 years- my wife has kind of gotten used to them and it was always faster with the night gown on to make love!!

[prettytoes]

I started out by wearing oversized nightshirts that could be men's or women's. I wore those long before my wife knew about my dressing. Now I can wear a nightie or my Tinkerbell pajama pants all the time. I sleep much better now!

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Although you're in a DADT relationship in your dressing I think this is one case where you need to talk about it. This is an obvious escalation and just showing up and doing it with discussing it first is liable to cause problems.

I've been wearing nightgowns to bed now for almost 10 years and have both cotton and nylon which I alternate.

[Marcelle]

Hi Lena,

The only person who can answer that question is your wife. I realize you are in a DADT but that does not mean you can't talk about it and ensure both sides are comfortable with any changes to your dressing habits.

Hugs

Isha

[alwayshave]

I wear nightgowns to bed on occasion, but have always been careful not to do it so much so as to wear out my welcome.

[alice clair]

I always wear a nighty to bed and my bra and forms with panties. She has bought most of them for me and I leave them on when we do our thing in bed, or she lays something out for me to wear when we have sex.

[terrianncd]

I always wear nighty's or or a night gown. We live at 8000' so it's always cold at night, a night gown that goes to the floor makes good sense...female or male.
We have separate beds as well, she snores like a train coming down the tracks and I can't sleep with all the noise. In fact, there was a study not long ago that indicated you need your own bed if you really want restful sleep. Play in one bed, sleep in two.

[Erika Lyne]

Hi Lena,

Like Isha and Sarah Beth have said, only your wife can truly answer that question. As for my relationship with my wife, I can wear just about what ever I wish but there are limits. I am fully out with her and she is quite accepting but she has some pretty hard limits. First off, she is not a lesbian in any way. She doesn't judge people for their identities, it just isn't her thing. So, if I wear anything remotely along the line of sexy it is a night of sleep. No touching, petting, cuddling or even a kiss more than a peck on the cheek. Basically, ithe night is a sleep over. This can and does include wearing a bra as underdressing to bed. Bra=no sex. (I wear panties 365/yr. she is ok with them in intimate situations.) Now, if it is a women's cotton night shirt or women's silk PJs with no bra things can be intimate. I have a few Tinkerbell night shirts that she had bought me (Tink is my fav). I also have 2 VS PJ sets in very feminine prints and colors that she is also ok with and lastly, she bought me a hot pink, knee length night shirt that has an embroidered saying right in the middle of the chest, "Grumpy but Gorgeous" and she loves when I wear it.

So, my point is, you do need to talk about her limits even in a DADT relationship. It is the best way to honor her limits AND be able to make yourself as happy as you possibly can. If she is at all accepting it should not be much of an issue to have this type of conversation. If she is the type that will do what she can to maintain the relationship even though she is less accepting than you would wish, she should be able to have a civilized conversation so you both can find boundaries that are more clearly defined.

I hope this helps.

Best of luck,
-E

[cheryl reeves]

seperate beds? never happen hear,we have a queen sized bed and i love sleeping with my wife. she tolerates me wearing panties and a occasional nitie..we slept apart for the 7 yrs i was a trucker,but we always looked foward to my hometime and sleeping together.

[abby054]

This is not an issue for me. I can wear what I want. We have separate bedrooms.

[Robin777]

My wife has known about my dressing before we were married so it evolved over the years to me wearing what I want to bed. I usually wear a silky nightshirt or a nightgown to bed. Lately I have added a bra and forms. Since I dress about every night it's a normal thing in this house after 35 years. I think she would think I'm ill if I didn't wear a nightgown to bed.

[Jackie7]

My wife enjoys my crossdressing around the house and in social situations but she also has a strict rule for sleeping together: naked boy. Works for us.