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View Full Version : Do I want this, why do i do this, do I like it? A rant- fueled by lack of sleep.



Krististeph
06-07-2015, 07:10 AM
I like dressing female and doing female things, and even thinking in what i assume is a more feminine manner of thought than masculine manner. Not just the act- I like the idea of doing this.

And perhaps i am going out on a limb here, but I would imagine the majority of crossdressers would agree (in general at least).

But do i like the fact that I feel this way?

I think this is what we would call a second order analysis.

Just to fill in the background a little, i've been helping my wife with research for her MSN, and their is a lot of focus on "reflection" and "leadership" in this particular school (which shall remain nameless, for now). Nurses (and me, since i'm playing along) are being asked to assess their actions and motives from outside of themselves, kind of like playing 3rd person omniscient, to analyze their actions.

My first reaction is "no", I am not happy with the fact that I am at odds with my gender identity.

Now wait--- I do not want to change-- i want to be female, overall, or at least pursue the feminine aspect. i will not transition in my life- because my wife is not willing to be in a female-trans relationship- and also that i do not want to complicate things this late in my career stage- but the desire to do so is still there.

But do I want to be like this? Again, I am going to say no. I don't wish this complexity or convolution, but nor am I willing to fight it.

I identify myself as gender dysphoric, rather than transsexual. Settle down, i know labels are imperfect and all that, but language is what you think with, for better or worse.

i don't want the opposition and estrangement that the zeitgeist reacts with when they see gender non-conformity. That really sucks. And honestly, I do not think the majority of people want to react with revulsion or with fear or distaste at gender fluidity. But we were raised this way. Or at least some of my generation (50ish) were raised to feel this way.

I love the way society is moving to accept gender excursion. I never thought it would happen as fast or as powerfully as it has. That non-genderdysphorics (I really cannot use the word 'straight', now, can I?) are in the majority behind gender issues is outstanding in every way… I’m overwhelmed here and not thinking intelligently anymore.. ..

But this thing bugs me incessantly. I do not want to have to be different.

Looking at this from a logical perspective- to me this indicate that gender issues are not just deep-seated, but that the way that gender plays out- in its various social aspects- is showing that our society has some serious soul searching to do.

I don’t know quite how it maps out, but transgender issues are unequivocally going to benefit the feminist equality movement in general, and change the way men feel they have to act in detail.

There is a lot more that a small subset of gender indeterminism changing here, this is society at large learning that there are more than just two numbers in the arithmetic.

As fast as things are changing, I doubt we will see the fruition of transgender indiscriminacy in our lifetimes, but that is a poor reason not to continue to push as much as each of us feels we can to advance.

No, I do not like that I feel transgendered/gender-dysphoric. But I am non cis-gender, and I do feel different that my genotype gender. And I thank everyone of you who show others that we are simply pushing forward and exposing this age old idiocy of gender bifurcation/bilateralism.

Think about this second order function- think about the dissatisfaction you feel. It is not wrong, it is not any kind of failure, it is rebellion against the failure of a system of duality. This is deeper that anything you read in the media.

Okay. Enough. Maybe this is just a ‘purge’ of anger… but there is something going on deeper or more diffuse than is reported… people are not satisfied with the gender roles of the 1900’s. It is the new millennium, after all.

k

kimdl93
06-07-2015, 08:31 AM
Lack of sleep will do that to ya....

But because I'm inclined to be succinct, I do like being the person I am. Like many of us, I experienced many years when I did not. Fortunately, I'm over that, and it seems that society is gradually getting over it too.

CarlaWestin
06-07-2015, 08:43 AM
You know, you really find the true value and desire of crossdressing when you try to quit. Become a normal person that colors in the lines the way you've been told. Eliminating all the creativity and curiosity about emulating femalism. That's only supposed to be accepted by the edgy artistic types.

You're just a man and you need to change your brain to conform and stop being a societal criminal.

:straightface:

Really? What about our life?

flatlander_48
06-07-2015, 09:21 AM
But this thing bugs me incessantly. I do not want to have to be different.

K:

There are those who covet difference as a way of standing out. Difference is not the important thing. Using it to an end is. Conversely, avoiding difference would seem to be a means to reinforce being anonymous. That probably isn't particularly healthy either.

However, in my case, I had to make peace with the idea of being different a long time ago. It wasn't a case of wanting or not wanting. It was a case of understanding and acceptance as there was no choice. Of the more significant identities that I claim, I would list the following: Black, father, grandfather, husband, ex-husband, licensed mechanical engineer, differently abled, author, expatriate for 6 years, motorsports fan and car guy since the mid-50's (I'm now 66) and bisexual. Crossdressing, while by no means trivial, is just another speed bump after all that.

I would have to say that difference sought me out first and it was left to me to embrace it or not. Resistance is futile...

DeeAnn

adrienner99
06-07-2015, 09:29 AM
Findings answers to any aspect of CDing is usually an elusive task. Most people never have to deal with the feelings we have. The only real struggle we face is other people's rejection. You were born male but you like feminine clothes and demeanor. So what?
You have a right to do so. It's part of who you are. Be as "out" or as in the closet as is right for you, but don't tear yourself up over it. There are plenty of other people just waiting to do that.

I have struggled with the Big Why for years and the only answer I have is this: When I am dressed and look in the mirror, I feel: this is right. This is me. This is who I am. I don't share it much and I don't tell many people but that is my right, too.

Love yourself a little, honey.

Nadya
06-07-2015, 10:42 AM
Pretty deep discussion. Often times if I post late at night, I worry if what I've written makes sense. Haha. Anyway, I have thought to myself before that I wish I didn't have to be this way. That was often how I felt before I stopped pushing it down and suppressing the feelings I have/had. I think over time, I've learned that this really makes me special and unique. My attitude is that I should embrace this rather that hide it. It's really who I am and hopefully everyone else will learn that it's ok.

Tracii G
06-07-2015, 11:31 AM
Here we go over analyzing everything again.
I agree with Adrienner99 Love yourself a little.

LilSissyStevie
06-07-2015, 12:06 PM
No, I do not like that I feel transgendered/gender-dysphoric. But I am non cis-gender, and I do feel different that my genotype gender. And I thank everyone of you who show others that we are simply pushing forward and exposing this age old idiocy of gender bifurcation/bilateralism.

I'm glad that someone recognizes that gender dysphoria and gender identity are separate categories. In other words GD does not equal GID. GD may be a cause or consequence of GID but they are not the same. I've had GD since I was 4 or 5 years old but I never doubted that I was a male. I just never really liked it. What is the solution for people like me. Nothing, I'm afraid.

JayeLefaye
06-07-2015, 03:28 PM
To answer the question: But do I like the fact that I feel this way?

Yes, I am glad. I am glad for a variety of reasons, and long ago decided not to over-analyze "why" I am what I am.

I won't detail all the reasons why I'm glad, because that would take a whole other thread for the amount of positives I find. But if I were to make a list, at the very top of it would be:

Being boring sucks.

Jaye

sabrinaedwards
06-07-2015, 04:08 PM
Sometimes I think of myself as gender compromised. When I am dressed as Sabrina, it feels so right! For the past several days, I have been exclusively Sabrina. I have even gone on Youtube and selected hypnosis videos associated with feminization. Well, I enjoy being a girl.
Love, Sabrina