flatlander_48
06-07-2015, 08:26 AM
I am aligned with 2 transgender groups: one in Rochester, NY and the other in Geneva, NY. The groups are very different. The Rochester one is basically a social gathering at a bar and grill and is maybe 2/3 crossdressers. The Geneva one is harder to read. The first meeting I went to was probably 3/4 folks who were transitioning or who had transitioned for years. However, at last night's meeting we had essentially a new (and younger) crew. At this point, it isn't clear how things sit for this group. This group is more of a support group.
After the meeting, a couple of the younger ladies (maybe mid-20's or so) talked about going to have dinner, so I decided to go as I had eaten much earlier in the day. Geneva is a small college town at the north end of Seneca Lake. It has lots of little funky shops and restaurants in a real downtown area. We walked around downtown for a bit to find a place that wasn't overly crowded. I was wearing dark sunglasses as so it was easy to observe people without drawing undo attention. Everybody that we saw was absorbed enough with their own situation that we got no more than a passing glance.
We wound up at a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant. Seated at the other end of the cooking surface was a family: mother, father, 2 young boys and a mother-in-law. I'm sure they checked us out as we were close enough that I could hear them talking, but there were no knee jerks or whiplashes. Near the end of the meal, I noticed a group sitting around the next cooking surface over. No whiplash, but one by one the 3 couples looked in our direction over the course of 3 or 4 minutes. Pretty sure we were the topic of conversation as you could see them lean into each other and whisper, but that was the extent of the rubbernecking. It started when one of the wives told her husband and he was as subtle as a brick when he turned around in his chair (his back was originally to us). I had just happened to be looking as the wife pulled away and the husband turned around. However, the rest were more discrete.
So, how did all this sit with me? Surprisingly well, actually. I didn't have an elevated pulse or sweatly palms and I didn't have the sense that I was upsetting the balance of nature. It seems that increasingly my mindset is working around to the Well, Just **** It!!! stage. But, at this point it is unclear if that is my real thought process or whistling past the graveyard or just blind ignorance. Other adventures will help me understand better what is going on. I think it was helpful that my compatriates didn't seem to have much difficulty with things, although one did catch a glimpse of someone she knew from work while we were at the restaurant. It didn't seem to be that big of a deal. She just made a mental note to have a quiet discussion with the co-worker on Monday. I was also 55 miles from my home and the chances of seeing someone I know are pretty small. The restaurant management and staff was very pleasant. I had never been to this restaurant before (or any other in Geneva!), so I don't know how they are normally. But, for us, they were sufficiently attentive and solicitous.
And, what did I learn? The line from that old song came to mind: "...All I Got To Do I Act Naturally.". It's like that thing about about dogs smelling the fear in humans. It seems that if you behave in such a manner that gives off the notion that you EXPECT to be treated well, it improves the chances that it is what will happen. Conversely, acting squirrelly probably works to illicit untoward behavior. The important thing then is to be in control of yourself. That said, I have been a bit surprised with how relaxed I have been. This is how I usually am and to the point where I tell people that if you see me trashing around and in a hyper state, the shit is REALLY bad. But, so far, so good...
DeeAnn
After the meeting, a couple of the younger ladies (maybe mid-20's or so) talked about going to have dinner, so I decided to go as I had eaten much earlier in the day. Geneva is a small college town at the north end of Seneca Lake. It has lots of little funky shops and restaurants in a real downtown area. We walked around downtown for a bit to find a place that wasn't overly crowded. I was wearing dark sunglasses as so it was easy to observe people without drawing undo attention. Everybody that we saw was absorbed enough with their own situation that we got no more than a passing glance.
We wound up at a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant. Seated at the other end of the cooking surface was a family: mother, father, 2 young boys and a mother-in-law. I'm sure they checked us out as we were close enough that I could hear them talking, but there were no knee jerks or whiplashes. Near the end of the meal, I noticed a group sitting around the next cooking surface over. No whiplash, but one by one the 3 couples looked in our direction over the course of 3 or 4 minutes. Pretty sure we were the topic of conversation as you could see them lean into each other and whisper, but that was the extent of the rubbernecking. It started when one of the wives told her husband and he was as subtle as a brick when he turned around in his chair (his back was originally to us). I had just happened to be looking as the wife pulled away and the husband turned around. However, the rest were more discrete.
So, how did all this sit with me? Surprisingly well, actually. I didn't have an elevated pulse or sweatly palms and I didn't have the sense that I was upsetting the balance of nature. It seems that increasingly my mindset is working around to the Well, Just **** It!!! stage. But, at this point it is unclear if that is my real thought process or whistling past the graveyard or just blind ignorance. Other adventures will help me understand better what is going on. I think it was helpful that my compatriates didn't seem to have much difficulty with things, although one did catch a glimpse of someone she knew from work while we were at the restaurant. It didn't seem to be that big of a deal. She just made a mental note to have a quiet discussion with the co-worker on Monday. I was also 55 miles from my home and the chances of seeing someone I know are pretty small. The restaurant management and staff was very pleasant. I had never been to this restaurant before (or any other in Geneva!), so I don't know how they are normally. But, for us, they were sufficiently attentive and solicitous.
And, what did I learn? The line from that old song came to mind: "...All I Got To Do I Act Naturally.". It's like that thing about about dogs smelling the fear in humans. It seems that if you behave in such a manner that gives off the notion that you EXPECT to be treated well, it improves the chances that it is what will happen. Conversely, acting squirrelly probably works to illicit untoward behavior. The important thing then is to be in control of yourself. That said, I have been a bit surprised with how relaxed I have been. This is how I usually am and to the point where I tell people that if you see me trashing around and in a hyper state, the shit is REALLY bad. But, so far, so good...
DeeAnn