Is it unaccepted or just unexpected ?

[Teresa]

I've posed this question because we talk about the unaccepting attitude of the people around us but I think it's more a case of the unexpected, this only happens to someone else syndrome !

I posted a thread in picture section titled, " All in the name of art !" I'm working on a painting that requires a female figure and found the easiest way was to pose for it myself !
Yesterday I was working on a tracing of the image in my art group, the tutor commented that the hair was too much in the blocked in image, so I produced the photograph saying a kind lady in the village had posed for me, he went to get lengths explaining where the skull structure should be and finally finished by saying but then the figure could be anyone ! I was sure he'd sussed me !
On the way to coffee I asked him if he'd twigged on, without waiting for his reply I continued by saying it was me in the picture ! He stopped, picked his jaw up off the floor and exclaimed with a puzzled expression that I was joking and pulling his leg ! Then he asked if I'd just done it as a one off for the picture, when I put him in the picture he was so kind and understanding and said he would like to discuss it further some other time . On the way back up from coffee he commented that my painting was shaping up well , I turned with a broad grin and replied that was very kind of him, he was referring to the painting and I was referring to my picture but he knew that and gave a loud laugh !
I've Emailed him since to explain the situation and asking about his thoughts about me attending the classes dressed, underneath I know it's a none starter but his answer will be interesting .
Just for the record I've posted a different pose of the picture but I felt it too leggy for what was needed .

When we do get reactions is it out of the unexpected rather than a lack of acceptance ?

[Rachelakld]

Unexpected.
Most people just smile, but others have more emotive reactions as their standard "default" reaction to any situation that they are not expecting

[Sarah-RT]

I like to think its unexepected. people seem to be more live and let live these days and when they discover it its seems to be a ''good for you, do what makes you happy''
Obviously not everyone responds this way but the more unaccepting are becoming the minority. Sadly I couldnt say ''in the west'' as there are pockets of people, usually the religious type who think we'll bring the rapture down on them, if we're lucky we will and they'll be gone.

Sarah x

[Katey888]

Intriguing tale, Teresa - you really are tearing your fingernails out on any barriers between you and the great, wide 'OUT' world, aren't you...? ;)

Kind of comes back to the fact that we are unusual, uncommon and largely closeted - so when we do pop up out of the cake shouting 'SURPRISE!!!' people are generally startled, I think... But unexpected doesn't always equate to unaccepted - certainly not in the artistic community - perhaps you should just keep dropping Grayson Perry's name lots... :)

Nice photo too! :D

Katey x

[LauraWeb]

I think that more people really don't care what others do more and more. There are some people that just have nonacceptance all over them, but it seems that the more people I encounter and stories I hear, that reactions are either from unexpectedness or the reaction is very much a blase type. Some days I feel like I could walk up to someone and tell them I am CD and the most common response would be "so?" Maybe people really are not as judgmental as they used to be?

And that is a really nice picture. I love art and the idea of posing en femme for a painting is something I had not thought of.

Sincerely,
Laura

[Alice Torn]

I think it takes a little while for most muggles to get their mind around this thing. Being surprised, startled, at the unexpected, it does take some folks time to get their head around it, and decide whether they want to accept this or not, and be around someone who does it.

[Tracii G]

What does twigged on mean?

[jenni_xx]

What does twigged on mean?

Sussed it out. As in "if he'd sussed it out (twigged on) that it was Teresa in the photo".

[Stephanie_83]

I think there's definitely being progress made in acceptance - although I'm not out to many folks, I agree with LauraWeb that many days, I feel that most people would be pretty ok with it, especially after they had some time to absorb it.

[docrobbysherry]

After reading this, Teresa?

I "expect" u would be quite ok with coming out if CDing wasn't so "unacceptable"?:heehee:

[Marcelle]

Hi Teresa,

I tend to agree with others here in that more and more people are just adopting a "live and let live" approach to life especially as TG becomes more public and discussed. This is not to say that everyone agrees and I still get my fair share of dirty looks from people but even these are rare. Now I hold no illusion this means "acceptance" on a broad scale (we still have a ways to go for that) but more so "tolerance".

As Katey said, congrats on slowly pulling the veneer away and moving toward a comfortable place.

Hugs

Isha

[Claire Cook]

Hi Teresa,

Well, my first reaction is "Good on ya", as my Aussie friends would say. As to "unexpected" versus "acceptance" (or do we mean "tolerance"), unless we've given hints that we CD before the big reveal, it would certainly be unexpected, regardless of how a person reacts to the news. I've had reactions that range from "I don't want to hear any more" to "I can't wait to meet Claire". In general many more positive (or neutral?) ones than negative ones.

[sometimes_miss]

We are unexpected, and THEN unaccepted.

[justmetoo]

I think it's a mixed bag and depends on the people involved. We hear about all kinds of reactions. In my case it seems it was unexpected to everyone I've come out to, but I've received lots of acceptance. The worst reactions I have gotten have been indifference, like "heh, whatever", but they still treat me the same as before. But even those have been the minority. On the other hand, I've been careful who I've come out to. (well, I did get one rejection, but there were several other factors which probably played a bigger role in that)