Stephanie_83
06-12-2015, 01:04 AM
I have to say it has been quite the month - well, May was, I suppose, looking back at it. I went out dressed for the second time (and the first time that I didn't lose my nerve and high-tail it back home after the first block), the first time meeting my girlfriend en femme, and the first time introducing a friend to Stephanie.
As I get better at doing my makeup, I've mentioned that I increasingly have been feeling passable and confident enough to go out - well, I finally did! It also helps that I moved to the very liberal college town in our state - even though the city I'd lived in before the move was actually larger and more cosmopolitan, I feel more likely to be accepted here. I spent the night in a skirt, shaved my legs, got all prettied up, and headed out. I'd planned to go shoe shopping, but getting ready had taken too long, so I didn't get to the store before it closed: I guess the old joke about women taking too long to get ready applies to me at least! :o But the night was still young, so I went to a movie - the new Mad Max. I was so nervous buying my ticket that I could hardly look at the kid behind the counter, and I'm sure I sounded like a croaky boy, but he didn't treat me any differently than anyone else at all! Wow! It was one of those new theaters where they have huge reclining armchairs instead of regular movie seating, so there was lots of space, and no one was sitting right next to me anyway - just a couple a chair down from me. I'm sure I didn't actually, but I felt like I went completely unnoticed - in guy mode, I like to dress to stand out a bit, but just blending in felt so amazing!
A couple of weeks later, my girlfriend came to spend the weekend, and to meet Stephanie. It was lovely. My biggest fears were that it would be really awkward to hug or cuddle her, and that she would be uncomfortable sleeping with me after spending the evening with Stephanie. Well, of course neither of those really came to pass. We spent the night cuddling on the couch finishing the HBO series The Jinx, and she was completely comfortable with me. She was even surprised by my wig - said it looked really natural! She did say it was a little weird kissing me, because I was "really makeup-y," but if that's the worst of my problems, I think I'm pretty set! So all in all, a lovely night.
Finally, felt open enough to email one of my absolute best friends to introduce Stephanie. He's one of the best people I know, really a Renaissance man with his interests in just about everything. Just after college, he came out to me as gay, and has been out in NYC for some years now. I knew he'd take it well, but of course hitting that send button was still just a bit nervy. I sent him the pictures I've shared here, and got a very nice, and very positive, response.
So, baby steps perhaps, but ever bigger ones out into the wider world. Coming out at work really isn't an option, but I'm gaining the confidence and comfort to be able to inhabit both sides of myself here in a way that I never would have imagined just a year ago. Here's to more steps to come! :drink:
As I get better at doing my makeup, I've mentioned that I increasingly have been feeling passable and confident enough to go out - well, I finally did! It also helps that I moved to the very liberal college town in our state - even though the city I'd lived in before the move was actually larger and more cosmopolitan, I feel more likely to be accepted here. I spent the night in a skirt, shaved my legs, got all prettied up, and headed out. I'd planned to go shoe shopping, but getting ready had taken too long, so I didn't get to the store before it closed: I guess the old joke about women taking too long to get ready applies to me at least! :o But the night was still young, so I went to a movie - the new Mad Max. I was so nervous buying my ticket that I could hardly look at the kid behind the counter, and I'm sure I sounded like a croaky boy, but he didn't treat me any differently than anyone else at all! Wow! It was one of those new theaters where they have huge reclining armchairs instead of regular movie seating, so there was lots of space, and no one was sitting right next to me anyway - just a couple a chair down from me. I'm sure I didn't actually, but I felt like I went completely unnoticed - in guy mode, I like to dress to stand out a bit, but just blending in felt so amazing!
A couple of weeks later, my girlfriend came to spend the weekend, and to meet Stephanie. It was lovely. My biggest fears were that it would be really awkward to hug or cuddle her, and that she would be uncomfortable sleeping with me after spending the evening with Stephanie. Well, of course neither of those really came to pass. We spent the night cuddling on the couch finishing the HBO series The Jinx, and she was completely comfortable with me. She was even surprised by my wig - said it looked really natural! She did say it was a little weird kissing me, because I was "really makeup-y," but if that's the worst of my problems, I think I'm pretty set! So all in all, a lovely night.
Finally, felt open enough to email one of my absolute best friends to introduce Stephanie. He's one of the best people I know, really a Renaissance man with his interests in just about everything. Just after college, he came out to me as gay, and has been out in NYC for some years now. I knew he'd take it well, but of course hitting that send button was still just a bit nervy. I sent him the pictures I've shared here, and got a very nice, and very positive, response.
So, baby steps perhaps, but ever bigger ones out into the wider world. Coming out at work really isn't an option, but I'm gaining the confidence and comfort to be able to inhabit both sides of myself here in a way that I never would have imagined just a year ago. Here's to more steps to come! :drink: