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View Full Version : Tools we use to cope



STACY B
06-13-2015, 07:30 AM
I was thinking about what I told my wife and have told several different people over time what is was or is like to have this Trans issue. I have heard lots of thing on here about different things and how to tell people and even maybe just maybe educate someone about it so they might understand and start thinking another way?

So here it goes, I say listen think like this for a moment, I knew something was wrong early on but that was another time in history and there were no internet or many books on it so I just let time catch up and here is why I never told anyone. When I was growing up I got handed different Tools to deal with it until they found a cure, The Tools were Testosterone, Work, Booze, Some have different Tools but these were mine. So I use the Tools to my advantage to defend myself from the Woman who was trying to take over me. But as you know most Men loose some of them while they grow older. Just think of it like a Sword, Shield, and Helmet, I used all of them from time to time at different degrees. Like work myself to death on every job I ever had, But you have to go home sooner or later so that's where the Booze comes in,, As for the Testosterone it would help me look like a Man, kind of like the shield. So T was the shield. Sword was Work, Helmet was Booze.

So as you know after 40 some of us loose T and most of us get an easier Job just from age, So one thing at a time falls off, Like Low testosterone for one I lost my shield oh well I will just work more, Well my job got lax and easy so that was out because I lost the T I wasn't as gung ho like before and so I couldn't work like a dog anymore, No T, No work to prevent HER , Down to one tool now,, Booze,, Turn up the heat,, Hell I can hold the fort down with enough Booze, No you can't,, Because that tool was soon taken as well from the side effects of age it was killing me so last tool was taken and had nothing left to fight this Woman off with.

So now the only thing left to do is Fight or Flee? So what to do what to do ? Fight is another word for Transition, Flee is just give up an Die some kind of way.

You must choose and have little time because your on a time limit believe it or not? Some can't take the pressure and Flee,, And I don't blame them for there choice, I know it's sad but some have no fight left and just relent.
Some more Bull headed ones choose to fight and have some energy left to give it a shot while there still here, But that doesn't mean they will succeed and some end up fleeing in the end.

Anyway that is my answer to it all and I try to put it that way to educate some of my people down here in Ms, Remember where I live before you comment,lol,, You have to break it down in understandable terms to get your point across to the general public sometimes so they don't keep thinking it's more of a choice that a disorder in our brains that we can't fight off because if there were a way we would do it or take it.

And don't forget this is just MY WAY of explaining it not everyone will agree and you don't have to, My way of dealing with Her and the general public and family and friends. I hope you find a way to deal with it too, It's never too late to FIGHT even if it cost a lot you can find a way.

If a Fat Dirty Over worked Drunk Guy can do it so can you. So chew on that Lady, lol

I Am Paula
06-13-2015, 07:40 AM
Good post Stacy.

kimdl93
06-13-2015, 07:47 AM
It was a lovely metaphorical expression of how many of us endure. Familiar tools and outcomes. I hope it helps others understand.

emma5410
06-13-2015, 08:51 AM
Excellent post

Leah Lynn
06-14-2015, 08:57 AM
Excellent analogy, Stacy. I nearly killed myself several times with alcohol. Finally decided to be her and save my liver.

Hugs,

Leah

Jorja
06-14-2015, 05:30 PM
After nearly killing myself with alcohol, slamming a car into a brick wall at 70 mph, and others, I came to realize, these were not the proper tools to accomplish the feat. It was clear, it wasn't going to happen that easily. So now days I have my BFH nearby all the time. BFH stands for Big Frigging Hammer. It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't make any corrections to anything. I sure feel a lot better after beating the living hell out of something though. :)

Dana44
06-15-2015, 10:58 AM
Nice analogy Stacy. We all wonder on that and how long it took us to come to realization that we are just special and the heck with the world. By golly, every day we wake up is one day closer to death itself. So, if you are in that situation. realize that you are a special person and beat to your own drum. I myself went through a lot of hell and since I am intellectually curious, I was logically able to cope. I am still coping. But every day I wake up. It is a special day because that forever rest is not what I am looking to. I always told myself if it ever got so bad, go to the beach. I guess now in a bikini.

ErikaS
06-15-2015, 12:45 PM
Jorja I think most of us have a BFH (hammer) and yrs using it on objects does help us all we just need to understand some things need to be repaired after an incident. Got love my hammer it helps some days.

mechamoose
06-15-2015, 01:35 PM
I came in here figuring I would post "McCullough Chainsaw", being the irreverent bitch that I am.

But then read the first post.

It is (to me) about finding a way to remain centered, keep persective, and to remain self confident.

Even after a decade in Chinese martial arts, I have had to frequently remind myself about the importance of meditation. I do 2-3 thrity minute sessions a day. I'm on anti-depressants, as much as my 'self-ability' elements reject that. I have also have had to keep reminding myself (esp as an alcoholic) as what is affecting me in the moment is different than what is affecting me in the long term.

Support groups help, even if you just go to listen. I don't believe in AA, I can't give up my self-determination (IE: Step 3).

I don't need confirmation of my sexuality, so a lot of LGBT support groups are lacking.

But I have found PFLAG to be a wonderful resource, as they are mostly trying to support people in their lives rather than themselves. More often than not you will find sisters there dealing with the same issues, and that has really been useful to me. It gives me perspective.

<3

- MM