Going to a therapist for the first time

[Melody Phillips]

I am looking into seeing a therapist about my transgender issues. I have never been to a therapist before and was wondering from the people that have, what to expect. Do they ask all the questions? Do I have to do all the talking? Seems silly, but this is a big step for me and my journey forward.

[JenniferR771]

I suggest going to the website or home pages of several possible candidates. Carefully examine their background and claims and specialties.

I had two that had almost no background. They borrowed books from me.

[Katey888]

Melody - if you find a good one they will guide you very proficiently... and not a silly question at all... :hugs:

It's good advice to seek out those with experience in gender issues - we are a bit specialised in the counselling we need. Other than that, be prepared to be open, honest and probably to be scratching your head a lot in the first few sessions - they may prod into areas that will be uncomfortable and obscure, but it's those things that need wheedling out and airing.

And it's likely you'll do the vast majority of the talking - and your head will be spinning after, so don't plan on anything too complex to follow. :)

Good luck!

Katey x

[AllieSF]

I have not been to a therapist for gender issues, but I have for relationship ones. The first session is an initial get to know you, what are your issues that you have identified and some probing by the therapist to learn more. After that you will probably be telling her how you feel since the last session, continue asking questions and getting you to talk about yourself. They are there to help us resolve what is bothering us, hopefully by us seeing on our own through these two way conversations what they may already have seen earlier. They help us to solve our problems. Sometimes they may tell us some things directly and other times they let us get to that point.

You need to be totally open and honest so they have all the pertinent information to assist you. If they have good experience dealing with trans issues they may guide you along your path, or redirect your thinking to see some things from a different point of view. I say trust them and see what happens. Occasionally your first choice of therapist may not work out well. Do not hesitate to change if you do not feel comfortable with them. You are going to be revealing a lot of private feelings and information to them and you should feel comfortable and safe doing that. Good luck.

Oh, sometimes in talking about one issue others pop up and can be dealt with at the same time.

[Eryn]

Your first meeting will be very open, just kind of a"meet and greet". You should have in mind some general goals and questions, and it is perfectly OK to take notes!

With my therapist I usually tell her about my week, then we talk about some deeper issue. She prompts me if I run out of things to talk about. It should feel very comfortable. If it doesn't, perhaps another therapist is in order.

[Aleca]

Good for you, glad you are able to go see a therapist so you can see exactly where you are at in terms of transgender issues. I know it helped me in discovering what I am and in only 3 sessions. I then resumed therapy with a gender therapist 3 years ago but had other personal issues that the topic had to change. But I would like to resume again, especially in our condition there really isn't that many people we can talk to live.

[Marcelle]

Hi Melody,

Expect a bit of a introduction during the first session and naturally your therapist will want some details about yourself and things in general. Gender identity will be broached but mainly for an large picture perspective. As sessions continue you can expect to delve deeper.

Hugs

Isha

[TrishaTX]

If you find a good one and I have a great one, it will be the best experience for you. First, we went to a marriage therapist and it helped allot in understanding and talking, but I always felt something was missing. I found a LBGT, gender therapist who is actually starting out in my area between Dallas and Fort Worth, and she is fantastic. I used Physcology Today to find her after speaking to a few on the phone.
The best part if for the first time in your life you can speak honestly, Say how you feel, let the therapist into your issues, and feel more comfortable. I had hidden this for45 years so it was the most freedom I have ever felt and I lost allot of shame because of it. You will be happy when you find the right one. Good luck

[Savannah_Skye]

I worked with a therapist but for the most part I did most of the talking. The therapist guided me by asking certain questions to areas which were most helpful to resolve some my mental health issues around transgenderism. It was a very positive experience for me.

[Melody Phillips]

Thank you all for your input. I am excited to get things going.

[prene]

I love my therapist.
When we first talked ... very open and like everyone else "Hi, how are you. ... tell me about yourself and anything u want".

She has made me feel very comfortable with all my gender issues and helped me figure them out.

Not that I have though, but for me it is a process.

I have talked about everything, xdressing, relationships, hrt ... the works.

[Missy_am_I]

I unfortunately did not have a great experience with my first theropist, have an appointment scheduled with a new one though. I would suggest to trust yourself about the therapist. If something doesn't seem right or if you feel they aren't putting anything into the sessions, let them know your feelings. I wasted a lot of time by just assuming that that's how it was supposed to be. Though I have been told that my experience wasn't the norm. Good luck and enjoy it!

[Sarasometimes]

Many claim to be skilled with gender issues when they lack the training and understanding. I unknowingly trained 4 before I found the right group. Check their background and what continuing ed classes they have taken. If gender based training isn't there find another. Also trust and chemistry is critical to timely and worthwhile therapy. I can talk to my therapist about anything, even very intimate awkward topics. Good luck in your search and if you find a good one stay with them.