Dressing and sexual excitement

[Sarah-RT]

Hey everyone

I'm sure this has probably been asked before but I was curious to know if anyone had the same experience.

As some members have mentioned in previous threads that they do or at least did get sexual excitement out of dressing, have any of you moved past that and how did that affect the way you dress?

For me I began regularly crossdressing around 14 or 15, soon after but unrelated I also began to become sexually active which eventually linked the two, I would go through the usual spells of dressing but usually end up following it up with porn and what have you, a lot of my clothing was underwear and lingerie based since it was the easiest way to express a form of femininity but it caused sexual desires.

As of the last few months I've noticed that I've steered myself away from combining the two, and prefer dressing without it being sexual, as I began dressing in front of some friends I had the fear of becoming aroused and that I would not be able to do one without the other.

As of now dressing is for the most part a gender only thing and I enjoy my time doing it far more, I replaced my wardrobe with more outerwear and clothing to suit my body type, so lingerie etc is gone. female underwear is now as sexually exciting to me as my male underwear is, I view it only as practical forms of clothing.

Has anyone else experienced this and moved on or am I just peculiar altogether?

Sarah x

[PaulaQ]

This happened to me when I came out to myself, when I finally admitted that I didn't just want to be a woman, that I was one, and always had been. All sexual parts of this stopped rather quickly - within a couple of weeks. My libido overall tanked at that point - I was extremely dysphoric, and I had rather vivid and unpleasant dreams about my genitalia. (I still suffer from these sometimes. They are awful.)

[Jennifer Devine]

The sexual arousal comes naturally and only seems to be brought on when i am fully dressed up especially in a pencil skirt and blouse or when i dream that i am dressed up.
I worry about going out as a woman one day and becoming a bit too excited.

[Nadine Spirit]

I don't think you are peculiar. I in fact think your story lines up well with many people here.

For me, it took long conversations with my wife and her take on things for me to better see my own story. Before I was 20 or so the only fem thing I ever wore was my sister's Guess jean jacket. I had done many gender non-conforming things before that. When I did venture into dressing it was directly connected to sex. Eventually it morphed into what it is now, non-sexual. I always figured that my beginnings were sexual in nature. It took my wife pointing out that I had always experienced a gender variance, from as early back as we can track; long before I was even aware of arrousal. My gender non-conforming behaviors were not ever connected to sex.

So.... what I think now is that my gender variances are something I was born with and just something that is a part of me, and always has been. Bringing it out durig sex allowed me mentally to accept it. It was just a sexual kink, and in my mind that was acceptable, having some sort of gender issue, not acceptable.

In no way am I meaning to imply for everyone that this is what is up, just my interpretation of me.

[Alice Torn]

It is still there with me, but not as strong as years ago. I still get aroused at Alice in certain dresses, skirts, hose and heels, though, at times, but don't go through with it everytime. I hope if i ever go out in public again, to wear long skirts or dresses, conservative.

[LucyNewport]

This is fairly similar to my own experience. It started out as my main (only, really) turn on. Once I started to develop a more complete femme persona, and went out into the world as her, the erotic appeal of the clothes melted away. I think for me a big part of the excitement was the exotic nature of it all. Wearing a dress was so beyond my usual day to day experience! Now that it is fairly normal, my erotic appetites have moved on to other things.

[chris63]

Sounds like my own experience. One of the things that helps me is to distinguish between a sexual and sensual experience. For me, anytime I CD it is a very sensual thing but not sexual. All of my physical and emotional senses and perception seem to be kicked up a notch. However, I usually don't get an erection from putting a dress on. The sexual part for me is when I dress sexy for my wife.

[reb.femme]

About 40 years ago I moved in with my then girlfriend (wife these days) and I definitely had a fetish thing with her nighties and underwear. I came out to her just three years back and the sexual thing did slowly disappear to coincide with my now wearing femme clothing on a more open and regular basis. It's not completely gone though, but much more subdued.

So from my point of view, definitely not weird...said the guy in a dress :heehee:.

And anyway, I now have to wear a bra to keep my gun in Sarah. Ruins the old gag about, "is that a gun in your pocket or are you just....etc. etc." :devil: (For other readers, this is in relation to a comment from Sarah in another post.)

Rebecca

[BobbiD33]

For me dressing has always had an element of auto-eroticism, dating to probably pre-pubescence and continuing to this day (64).

That said, and i'm limited lately to underdressing, i'm not always sexually aroused wearing women's clothes. I can drive long distances in bra panties and slip and not really even be aware of it.

In fact today i bought a three pack of Hanes hi-cuts, cotton and just my size and they feel just right. No erotic thought process involved.

Although i'm sure i could summon one.

I don't know if this helps, just trying to contribute.

[mechamoose]

Nope. None of that. I feel like *myself*. I would be just as happy to recline on the couch with a book.

<3

- MM

[Laura28]

When I was kid first starting out yes it was a sexual thing. Now looking back maybe that was how justified doing it in my mind. Now there is no sexual feelings, it is calming and just feels normal.

[aussie cd]

when I dress with and go out with my wife (not often) but she has little objection as long as I am not over the top , I can control myself sexually and just be me.
But just the other morning after a night dressed with her and she left for work (I work from home) I was feeling I still wanted to be dressed that morning (not to her knowledge, she would not be happy if I did it at home WITHOUT her knowledge...no problem if she knew) but anyway so I dressed and thought I may go down the road to post a letter (drive there) so jumped in the car all dressed up ,got there and just the knowledge of doing it in secret made things excited and right there and then (across road from postbox) in the car even with restrictive garments keeping things snug & shrunk.....I was overcome and couldn't contain the internal excitement and well you guessed the rest...needless to say the letter didn't get posted and back home it was...
in answer mostly I can control myself but it still stimulates me.....

[Jacqueline85]

As with most of the replies here, I experienced a bit of sexual excitement at first, but this has long since faded. Like Chris63 though, I definitely do feel quite sensual. Even if you do get aroused when fully dressed though, I would think that even a half decent tuck should make an erection impossible.

[Jorja]

It is not now and never was about sexual excitement for me. It was about being dressed properly. For some ungodly reason my parents insisted that I dress like a boy. I tried telling them that I was not a boy. Would they listen? No!

You are not weird because you become excited when dressing. No, you are being uniquely you. There are many CDs that dress simply because wearing women's clothing excites them. Who can blame them? Soft, silky, free flowing, and pretty. What more could a girl ask for? Go right ahead and be yourself. Enjoy all the wonderful feelings you have. It is no ones business except yours and if you have one, your partners.

[aussie cd]

jacqueline85, no erection was necessary, the pure excitement overcame that obstacle....it just happened with the thought and no other help

[CONSUELO]

I began dressing at about 5 years old and my sexual exploration and dressing were combined. It was a wonderful time of discovering all sorts of new sensations and I look back on those years with nostalgia. As I became more sophisticated in my dressing the focus was on making good clothing choices and becoming expert at using makeup, etc. i gain a lot of pleasure from dressing well and looking as feminine as possible.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
Dressing and sexual arousal came to me at about nine years old, the clothes didn't mean anything until I had an involuntary orgasm , it wasn't feel of the material as much as the shape of a swimsuit . Something inside must have clicked saying this looks like a woman's body, I did have a girlfriend at the time, the way it happened made the connections of girl-clothes-sex and that has stuck with me all my life .
I enjoy dressing in it's own right now but and have for some years but it's now going full circle because of my lack of intimate contact with my wife, for nearly ten years now ! Yes she does know the situation, the fact that she's being substituted , she knows my needs and isn't interested in me in male mode and I've made it clear that I respect her wishes on the subject ! I do feel hurt that she takes me at my word now but she is prepared to live with the situation !

[AmberN]

For me it's a sexual thing I do and have done for years. My wife is starting to let me do it more and more. Something in me still just thinks it's for the sexual side I have never really understood what first made me want to dress. I know it was very early young like 5 or 6 so I know that wasn't a sexual thing. But like so many now I have made dressing and sex the main reason I do it . Plus I just can't get over the way the material feels.

[Robin414]

Maybe a little bit but honestly when I'm in female mode my libido goes to zero, always has. Right now my libido is zero all the time and I feel like a woman about 90% of the time...maybe an inverse coorelation!? Maybe the low T causing both at the same time...Like a real chic!?

[Victoria Demeanor]

Well Sarah,
For me the sexual issue is what lead to the most confusion in this odd little desire. Like many here I started very young, maybe five or six trying on my mothers bra and panties. Have no clue why I started doing this, but at that time it had nothing to do with sex. As I grew I had different encounters and variations of wearing girl clothing, but still they had no erotic overtones. There was a gap from my teens to later in life because of, well to much to get into right now, but when the urge came back I thought it must be a sexual thing. This is where the confusion came in. I would put on undies, stockings and a bra, but couldn't get excited. Then I would find myself wanting to put on a dress and more. Truly I wish that it was a sexual thing since that would make more sense to me.
Anyways I'm one of the ones that finds this more therapeutic then sexual. Now I can't say that I don't get aroused some times, but like you, it's as often and the same no matter what I'm wearing.

[Debb]

I dressed pre- and post- pubescence. I would get aroused while dressing, around the ages of 13-17 or 18 .. but that slowly faded away, and now, at 53, nope. Dressing as the girl I am just feels right.

[Pumped]

I don't dress often and have tossed most of my clothing except for a few pieces. The only reason I dressed was the erotic side of it. I never saw myself as a woman, I have no interest in being a woman, it is just the clothing.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey Sara...i am in the same boat...dressing lost giving me the sexual willies a long time ago....and underwear and bras, stockings etc are just functional clothing items now too.....everyone dresses for different reasons and at different levels , some are content in that stage, and only dress once a month or so , and its just a sexual release...to girls like us....its just clothes...not really all that big of a deal....

[OCCarly]

For me dressing had a sexual component from the time I was eleven until I was about twenty. After that, it always addressed a need to feel feminine. Dealing with the sexual needs was something separate.

[cd_dominique]

When I finally got up the nerve to start shopping for Dominique, it wasn't about arousal or anything sexual for me either. It felt like a part of me that had been hidden for too long, but inevitably, I end up getting a little aroused when I am fully dressed, like i am right now, sitting at my computer typing this.

[Yoshisaur]

Yeah it has been the same for me as well. Sexual excitement was a big reason as to why I kept dressing as a kid/teen, even now there is an amount of sexual pleasure from it all. However I would say that after some time my sexual excitement from crossdressing has changed towards a more I love feeling like a female and being a female, and not just a turn on. Who knows maybe all of this will just one day become a casual thing for me.

[AbigailJordan]

I think it's quite normal for most CD's to go through this.. obviously some will always just have a fetish for the lingerie etc, but for the serious crossdressers, the ones butying wigs.. heels.. makeup etc, the look and the clothes become more important than the sexual thrill.. this doesn't mean they won't ever get a sexual thrill from dressing.. Most days when I get home from work I change immediately into a comfy dress or jumpsuit and it's just part of the day.. but if I'm getting all dolled up, I'll think about what outfit I'm going to wear etc.. and can sometimes become aroused just thinking about how sexy the look is going to be..

And I can only imagine it's a similar thing to when gg's get all dressed up.. they probably get a little worked up thinking about the outfit they're going to go clubbing in or whatever.. whilst treating everyday dress as just another part of the day.. same as we do.

[Sarah-RT]

Nadine, I too thought for a while that perhaps it was a sexual kink due to the fact of what I got up to while dressed, it seems like an easy way to reduce the dressing to nothing more than an odd sexual urge and nothing more to help make sense of it.

Lucy I found it wasnt my main turn on, nor my first but it did become a big one in certain ways but like yourself, Ive moved on quite a lot and the excitement of it has faded away for the most part ( thankfully too, I found myself hating dressing after an aroused period and wondered what I was doing with myself)

Chris I would agree, dressing has become more sensual to me, I find myself being concerned with how my wig looks or which clothes to match and the other things that GG's fret over in relation to dressing but in a good way if that makes sense. In terms of dressing and being sexual with an SO such as you say with your wife, that probably wouldnt bother me at all,rather than dressing to be sexual I would be being sexual with an SO while I happen to be dressed is the way I look at that.

Rebecca, I would relate to that alright, while I avoid mixing the two it still does happen, just a lot more rarely now.
Hah your learning now, there is only the quick and the dead, at least you can be fashionable while doing it too!

Bobbi, I dont ever recall dressing before puberty apart from wearing my sisters lipstick on one occasion because I wanted to ( this is one of my first memories of doing anything trans) and also crossdressing an action figure with a barbies clothes, but those certainly werent erotic or anything at that time, I crossdressed a few times when I was around 12-13, again because I wanted, or needed to. The sexual attraction to doing it didnt come until later, I think I made it sexual really, as ive heard suggested that dressing causes a dopamine release in the brain this would make sense. As you say about not becoming aroused by underwear etc,in the past while shopping online I found myself becoming aroused just at the notion pf purchasing some of the items, but back then the clothing choices i had were a bit more sexual in nature

Laura I agree with you there, it does feel a lot more normal to me without the sexual attachment.

Jacqueline that is a good point, ive actually only began tucking very recently since I found how to make a decent enough DIY gaffe rather than the shaving and taping method, it does make getting it up more of a challenge, and for the better too.

Jorja the problem I had with it was that I feel I made dressing into a sexual activity when it had not been before and that after an evening of dressing it made me feel worse about myself where I couldnt take the clothes off fast enough and try and forget I had put them on at all, where as now I can dress for the bulk of the evening depending on who is around in the house and feel sad that I have to take off my wig etc before I get into bed. I much prefer distancing the two.

Consuelo I will agree for myself that I feel great when I think I look presentable, and the better I get at dressing such as when I bought forms and a wig that I feel even happier but I dont look back on my teen years of discovery with much joy since I feel it being a sexual experience kind of held me back from discovery the dressing side at a better pace, most of my dressing developments have only come in the last year or two.

Teresa a lot of my early clothing items were one piece lingerie etc and I think thats where the sexual end of things came from, it was very easy to look at something thats supposed to present the wearer as the idea of femme and become aroused, thats the trouble of being straight and a dresser too I guess. Yeah I can see how that cycle can work, Ive been single for a couple of years now since my last girlfriend and hook ups have been few between but I try to keep my sexual longing and dressing away from each other now lest I ruin it for myself which is what im afraid of.

Pumped, I thought for a while too that it was simply sexual or from a lack of intimacy or an attraction to the clothing itself but now I feel its more to do with gender, which I believe it began as before I became sexually active.

Adriana I would agree that its just clothes, Hold up stockings used to excite me where as now I have a collection of tights that have animals or love hearts etc in the designs that I purchased simply because they looked cute, the way it should be :)

Yoshisaur I found the sexual aspect actually decreased my amount of dressing, and certainly cut short the amount of time I would stay dressed, like you however I prefer looking and feeling female to the sexual aspect now.

[Cheryl T]

When I was young, around puberty, it was a combination of the forbidden and the sexual nature of the styles I chose. Yes, it was erotic, it was stimulating and it was satisfying. Then the regret and shame would kick in.
Somehow over time this just faded. Now there is the sensual side, not the sexual side.
As I explained it to my wife as I was donning my garter belt and stockings one night before we went out ... don't most women enjoy that sensual feeling that comes with wearing certain clothing? Don't they feel more in touch with their sensuality when they dress in what most would consider "ultra feminine" clothing, such as garters and hose rather than pantyhose ? Don't you feel sexier wearing stilettos rather than a stacked heel ? It's not that you're being sexual, but that you are sensual. You just feel more feminine.
Now I feel feminine no matter what I'm wearing, but it's not erotic anymore, it's sensual. It's not that I'm seeking sex, I'm seeking to be more in touch with the woman inside.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sara, It sounds like you are a normal young man under all of those pretty clothes.:hugs:

[bimini1]

As Spock would say it's fascinating. For me to say there is no turn on to it would be delusional. And at one point I tried to say that. For some reason it took the sting out of it if I could say it was not sexual. When it started at 4 years old I can't say there was any turn on per say. Maybe there was but I didn't know what it was. I recall a breath taking sensation at that time. Then it started up again at 10 years old like someone flipped a light switch. Again just a light headed endorphin rush kind of vibe.
It became sexually charged during the teen years on up thru my 30's to varying degrees. I can recall dressing once in college at a GF's apartment and getting absolutely no sexual charge out of it and saying to myself, what's the point of doing it if I am just sitting here. This was long before I got into wigs, forms and cosmetics. Looking back it just amazes me of all the stages it's gone thru and after a half century is still around in some form. I'm also blown away by soooo many parallels in these stories only to think that I was alone in this back in those days. Mind boggling.

If anyone has an opportunity to seek out a book called The Man In the Red Velvet Dress, I forget the author's name. As a CD, he gives just about the best break down of the different types of CDers and the phases they go thru as I've ever read. In light of this thread, I may dig it out and re read it.
I will say that if I'm out and about sex is the farthest thing from my mind and my most illuminating and fulfilling experiences with it have come from that plane.

[TrishaTX]

The minute i touch female clothes I am turned on...nothing I can do about it. Now I do not walk around dressed most of the time, I have moments , albeit short ones, where I an dress and relax. anything salon or nylon really does it for me. I love it. maybe one day but I am 49 and nothing has changed, so I doubt it will change for me.

[Jazzy Jaz]

The sexual enjoyment of dressing is still very much alive for me. Recently i have more desire to start attending convensions and experience it socially without coming out to people i know. My gf has agreed to help me shop for social wear at some point but im only really interested in bridesmaid evening type dresses for that and want to feel beautiful and sexy. I definately have other female aspects to my personality and i enjoy both very much. At home when dressed and i finish with the erotic side i remain dressed and enjoy doing chores and watching movies and admiring my nails when i pick stuff up and put it down. I've fully dressed regularly more than two thirds of my life and have always had a sexual aspect as part of it and as long as i have sexual needs i dont expect that to change.

[Sandie70]

When I'm dressed I feel a certain "sensuality," although I use that word instead of "sexuality." I am more into being as feminine as possible, oftentimes overwhelmed with the challenge of it all - the clothes, jewelry, etc. There is a sensual feeling to all this... becoming someone else - to think that some who see you might think of you as a woman. Oddly enough, the sexual feelings come after I undress. It's as if I've just been with a woman on a deeply intimate level... that woman being myself.

[mechamoose]

When I'm dressed I feel a certain "sensuality," although I use that word instead of "sexuality."

^THIS^

I love feeling pretty. I love the fabrics and the colors and the styles, I just don't get turned on by wearing them. I guess I get past that 'sexual' feel because I know myself and my interests and can participate in them regardless of if I'm dolled up or not. Maybe it is because some some of us (like yourself) you only feel free when dressed? I'm not sure, I'm just speculating.

- MM

[Isabella Ross]

Like the majority who have replied to this thread, there was absolutely a sexual element to my initial dressing forays when I was not even yet a teenager. Then again, at this age, there was a sexual element to making toast or mowing the lawn or anything else for that matter (raging hormones). Seriously, I believe the sexual element is part and parcel of repression for crossdressers living in absolute secrecy. Take away the secrecy, and it moves into a different realm...one of sensuality as opposed to autoeroticism. This has largely been the case for me, although let's be honest here, folks...there is absolute nothing wrong with a little healthy self-gratification, and if making yourself pretty stimulates you, go for it. But for the most part, these days, I do feel sensual rather than aroused when I dress, particularly in lingerie. The arousal comes when my wife enters the scenario...

[CONSUELO]

Isabella Ross makes a good point. As a teenager I would become sexually aroused for no apparent reason. So, add some sensual female clothing and the outcome was preordained.

[LisaKarenAZ]

Originally, I recall there being a sexual element to my dressing. Years later, now that I've been able to come to terms with what this all means, and where I sit in the overall spectrum, I've come to recognize that the sexual element was there because it was during the self exploration phase of my youth and it's an easy way to explain the unknown.

I've also come to realize that my place on the spectrum leans more toward gender dysphoria, and that I am more female than male. I find myself feeling more sensual that sexual when I have some sexy clothing on. When I'm dressed in day to day women's clothing, I don't get aroused.

[jigna]

I feel very excited wearing woman undergarments.
When I get a chance, I never leave any opportunity to make up my face and wear saree, Blouse and penticot and all sort of ornaments bengles, bindi etc.
I also apply nail polish, Mashkara, eye liner etc.
I get very excited doing all this.

[mechamoose]

I do analytical work for a living. I'm a chemist and a computer/systems engineer by trade. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has a reason. Figuring out what is causing that is what makes ALL the difference in being able to understand and measure what is going on. Without that, you can't make educated changes. Until you do that, you are just left with your intuition and guesses... which may be right, but you can't prove that to someone else. It isn't reproducible and can't be written up as a guide for someone else.

Let me set up a situation and pose a bunch of questions.

Setup:

You discover that you will get time to be the 'other you', a really big window. Days. You can dress and doll up as hard as you want to. There is zero chance that anybody is going interrupt your time. You get to transform. Those 'hot' feelings come to the surface.

Questions:

What about you is feeling 'allowed' to be able to feel & be different en-femme than what you can be in your en-male version? What are those feelings? What power does it bestow upon you? What is different? Is your desire only 'free' during that time? What do you want now that is different than before you got this time?

Is there a way you could include some of those answers into your genetic self?

My intuitions say:

You are the same person you were in intellect and genetics before you put on that pretty stuff. Literally speaking, it is a costume. It is just clothes and coloring. You are expressing yourself differently based on the clothing, in the same way as you would a sports mascot. That sports mascot gets away with a lot of random stuff, and nobody will do anything but have fun with it. Nobody questions it. That is a "role", and can be played by anyone.

Yet, it feels different. You feel like YOU. Parts of your personality get that WEIGHT off them. You get to breathe.

I'm not going to give a word of opinion as to those answers. It isn't my place, I'm not in your heels. I have been trying very hard not to make this about sexuality issues over identity ones, but I do believe that they are linked at some level. I believe it is something that we each need (Need!) to identify in ourselves in order to be at peace.

What I *will* say is that I believe that we must figure out how to accept ourselves regardless of those answers. We have to be true to ourselves or we will be miserable. If we can't do that, we will always be in hiding, and nobody else can follow our lead.

My two cents, adjusted for inflation.

(...and based on previous posts, I'm a Wet Nellie on this party, but I think it is worth the answers.)

<3

- MM

[Kristy 56]

For me there definitely is,and several GGs also once told me that being all dolled up was an experience for them too. Probably the worst part of being in the closet ,and having a non supportive spouse :(

[TrishaTX]

The arousal comes when my wife enters the scenario...[/QUOTE]
Me too Isabella...the enjoyment is to be accepted by the one I love....

[Heelios]

I can relate to this. This all started for me as a shoe fetish and was all very much about getting aroused. The dressing in clothes thing is relatively new to me but the more I do it and now that I have accepted that I like CDing the less it is about getting aroused although i do still go there sometimes especially when heels are involved! But more often than not I just enjoy doing things around my flat dressed.

[Diversity]

In my younger years, there definitely was a sexual feeling associated with my dressing. Now occasionally that still occurs, but much more often, I find a sense of relaxation, inner peace, and feminine fulfillment when I dress.
Di

[anna.h]

Not sexual at all for me. I just feel like myself -- my pretty self.

[thatperson1551]

It is for me at times, but it is unintentional. Like when I am getting dressed and looking the mirror It makes tucking impossible, so I have to sit down and wait a minute. ha


Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has a reason. Figuring out what is causing that is what makes ALL the difference in being able to understand and measure what is going on. Without that, you can't make educated changes. Until you do that, you are just left with your intuition and guesses... which may be right, but you can't prove that to someone else. It isn't reproducible and can't be written up as a guide for someone else.


That is certainly the most eloquent/articulate way I have seen or heard that explained.

[Badwolf]

For me the clothing items do have some sexual meaning, that I don't think I will completely grow out of, but the dressing itself isn't. Most of it developed pre-pubescently and doesn't drive me towards sexual experiences.

[weyburn]

when I first started it was very high arousal level
Now I can feel so right about it and everything comes so natural but if I am out and about and a man tries to pick me up while treating me as a woman the level goes back up again

[AletaHawk]

For me, dressing was sexual until I came to understand and accept that I was genderfluid. Once that sank in, I've found I get less arousal out of dressing and more comfort. Like I'm finally whole. It still pops up now and then (no pun intended), but that's more when I'm feeling "sexy" than anything else. Most of the time, panties are just that.

[Sandy Clifton]

At this point in my evolution, dressing-induced glandular excitement of some sort
(whether gonad or adrenal) is certainly a factor. I sometimes feel guilty that these
urges are indicative of a kind of immaturity, but ultimately conclude that it's healthiest
for me to be honest about what I feel.

[docrobbysherry]

Judging by the number of underwear threads/posts here? U and I may be the only ones here without a fetish for them.

Like most males, I'm visually oriented w hen it comes to sexual stimulation. And, with Sherry available, I,d have to be dead to not get some excitement from seeing her close up. And, I'm old, but not dead yet.

However, when I'm prepping to go out w/girlfriends, or when I'm out? Sex never enters my mind.

[Krististeph]

Pretty close, but the fancier/more exotic items still are more sexually charged, as I think it is with GGs as well. A leather bustier lacing up in back, snugging against the torso, lifting the breasts... quite a bit more interesting than a man's snug t-shirt.

Other things like dresses- i've been able to wear lots of different dresses and outfits quite a lot, so a lot of the novelty is worn off, but i still like the look of feminine clothes way more than men's. not sure i do them the justice they deserve, but it's not like i have 4 legs or anything.

I can definitely control my arousal level when putting on clothes, but i can also get into it quite a bit if i want. A little bit of control, a little bit of imagination, i guess.

Remember- sex is in the brain- everything else is just nerve endings. And when you can get creative enough in your own mind- even the nerve endings are not as critical as they once were. Look for inspiration from less 'overt' sources or images, perhaps.

-k

[pamela7]

initially being an underdresser only for so long, yes it was panties and totally sexual, then CD was also highly charged, and things do return to "normal", every so often something creates a charge, I like it, its controllable (no need for a full erection in a clothes store now is there?!). New things, or the idea of some new clothes might set off a sexual charge, but then so does my SO wearing a short skirt!

I reckon i have a raised background sexual charge when dressed, unless I'm so very focussed on something else. Some days its higher, not a problem, after all we are sexual beings.

[Marie-Claude, France]

(...)
As some members have mentioned in previous threads that they do or at least did get sexual excitement out of dressing, have any of you moved past that and how did that affect the way you dress?
(...)

At the beginning, sexual excitement was the main objective... But as time passed, the feeling of being happy and in good mood installed itself and now both feelings share my time as a lady.

[Lorna]

It used to be annoying when arousal happened quickly because, at that point, the dressing session was over. Slowly I learned to control it so that I could enjoy the clothes for longer. I wanted to experience what it was like to do "normal" things - around the house, perhaps in the garden as well, while dressed, so being able to avoid the arousal allowed much greater (and longer) enjoyment of the feminine clothes.

[Jennifer0874]

When I first started dressing there was absolutely the arousal/excitement.

By my late twenties dressing became more about feeling complete as a person. I do still get aroused sometimes while dressed, but it usually has to do with something other than the dressing itself. Now that my wife is totally on board with my dressing I will be dressed enough that my being dressed is going to overlap with intimacy with my wife.

[janicecd]

when I dress with and go out with my wife (not often) but she has little objection as long as I am not over the top , I can control myself sexually and just be me.
But just the other morning after a night dressed with her and she left for work (I work from home) I was feeling I still wanted to be dressed that morning (not to her knowledge, she would not be happy if I did it at home WITHOUT her knowledge...no problem if she knew) but anyway so I dressed and thought I may go down the road to post a letter (drive there) so jumped in the car all dressed up ,got there and just the knowledge of doing it in secret made things excited and right there and then (across road from postbox) in the car even with restrictive garments keeping things snug & shrunk.....I was overcome and couldn't contain the internal excitement and well you guessed the rest...needless to say the letter didn't get posted and back home it was...
in answer mostly I can control myself but it still stimulates me.....

I have similar experiences. The first time I went "all out" dressed in a dress with heels, makeup, nail polish, and perfume at home (my wife doesn't know I CD) the excitement and sensations are too much to control even when I am tucked.

[Caden Lane]

I started dressing at three years of age. So it was not sexual then. However as I entered puberty, it became about gratification to some extent. As the years went on, I stepped away from that. However I have found that when dressed, I feel prettier, more sensual, more sexy; but it is not about sex, it is more about how I feel. Miss Girlfriend does not want a trans-lesbian relationship, so when dressed, romance is a no-go. But I have to say, there have been times coming home from a night out where I can feel that sensuousness, where I simply want to run my fingernails along her thigh. This is very similar to how I react to her when I am not dressed, but the fact I feel more sensual and sexier, it seems to magnify my sexual responses to her, it suddenly feels..."more right." I simply wish I could get her to understand that.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane

[Piora]

For myself, I'd say it's about 70-30, with the 70 being the part of sexual arousal. However, I wear different things for the 30% than I do with the 70%. :) I really don't get that way when dressing fully in skirt & blouse. I wear "practical" underwear. Haynes black cotton bikini panties, standard pantyhose, and "practical" bra. However, I wear extremely erotic, frilly panties, and crotchless or suspender pantyhose....or stockings with a garter belt, when I'm feeling "frisky". ;) It really depends on my mood at the time.

[Jaylyn]

Yes the urges are there when get dressed to the max. The smell of the lipsticks the feel of the nylons on my smooth legs and even the look in the mirror and see a younger me without the flaws of a sun weathered old face as I can cover it with the makeup. It has always been sexually exciting for me since my teen years. Now when my wife and I are playing and she tells me to go get dressed up it is almost a pleasure I can't hold back. She has added to my sexuality and my desire to feel hose on hose or night gown on nightgown and lipstick on lipstick.

[Anne-Sofie]

I only get this when I wear something i've never worn before. In the beginning I only was wearing dresses and when I putted on my first female jeans I got arroused. Now I wear these jeans regulary and lt's not arrousing me anymore.

[Robin414]

Ahhh yes, the dreaded 'incorrect erotic targeting' thing! I think we've all experienced it at some point and I think it's one of the reasons we're frowned upon, I read a negative post somewhere a while ago making reference to 'fetish before family' (I've experienced it myself I'll admit!) I'm not a phsycologist but I I've done a LOT of reading over the past 9 months😩 That aside, it does pass, this isn't an 'erotic' behaviour, let's face it, most of us are heterosexual and come on...trans woman are seriously hot, and yes i mean that chic in the mirror too!😀

[Nikki Heat]

Like most of us here, dressing was very sexual around and/or after puberty, but now, as I dress fully, with wig and make up too, it's all about feeling "right."

The girl in the mirror is me, only better. She's younger, sexier (I never thought of myself as sexy in drab), prettier, and MOST OF ALL---HAPPIER than "guy mode" me!!!

[steffigirl37]

I’ll have to admit dressing up has always been very sexually exciting to me. Throughout my teens and twenties any cheap dress or piece of lingerie I could find would help satisfy my arousal. After being married and raising kids for the past 25 years the frequency of being able to have private time to dress up has decreased. However my wife’s involvement in the process of crossdressing has helped my improve my style clothes and being able to stay dressed as a woman longer if only for a few times a year. I am almost 60 years old and I still get aroused looking and wearing woman’s clothes. It has not faded.

[Mollyanne]

Like you, I too started doing the exact same thing. I found that wearing a bra, panties and stockings took me to a very aroused mental state, and that was many, many years ago. I now dress because I feel comfortable in my "new skin" and it just feels natural for me to wear a bra, panties pantyhose etc etc. I still love very fine lingerie and dress age appropriate(for me anyway).

Molly

[NickyLycra]

From about as young as I can remember 5 or 6 swimsuits and leotards were the centre of sexual excitement to was pretty much a manual thing, the tightness of the fabric obviously stimulates the right places and at that age the reward part of my mind connected one thing with the other.
When it was taboo I think allot of the sexual excitement was from the fact it was something I "shouldn't" be doing. More things got added as I got older.
That carried on well into my 30's

Then I met my current SO.
She pretty much said go for it wear what you want when you want you look great in it. She even brings me home things to wear.

That changed everything. It's no longer Taboo, it's just every day. I don't really get aroused from the act of wearing something.
A number of other people have used the word sensual. I've got to agree.

CD'ing doesn't turn me on like it did in the beginning.

To CD now is like and expression of me, I love how I feel, I love how I look dressed, and I absolutely love the attention I get from my SO and when I'm out.

What turns me on now?
The simple things, the way my SO looks at me sometimes, the way she hugs me in bed, her giggles, and the way she adores me, and yes OMG how she looks in lingerie (well I still have a pulse don't I?)

[sherri]

My earliest dressing experiences were entirely sexual -- I mean, that was the whole point, actually, and it took quite awhile for the sizzle to subside enough for me to consider any other aspect. In fact, I didn't really start examining my gender identity in greater depth until I started going out and socializing as Sherri. Interacting with others as Sherri helped me realize I am Sherri, sex or no sex. But I have always had a strong sex drive, so why wouldn't that be a part of being Sherri? I love that part of Sherri as much as any other part, and I love the whole fem dimension being Sherri has added to the mix.

[Valery L]

For me, crossdressing has always been exclusively and irrevocably about sexual excitement.

[jemima_bates]

Good thread!

Similarities here, too - for me, there's a strong sexual element. However, like Sherry et al, I can't really relate to the underwear discussions. For me, it *has* to be the complete look, to which underwear certainly contributes, and indeed facilitates, but never dominates. I am still very attracted to myself in full femme mode. Even though there's lots of examples (in this thread and elsewhere) where this diminishes, I just don't see it for me at the moment.

But, really, who knows?!

Jemima x

[claireforever]

For me it is definitely sexual .since I was about 7 I've been dressing in underwear and snatching erotic moments .it didn't matter what I wore as long as it was from a woman's wardrobe.but now as I reach my 50th birthday I dress to impress .I need to look the part .

[AussieJess]

Yes! Very arousing, the feel, the shape, the look are all turn ons. I mean I think it was a sensation thing when I was very young, but into pre puberty, and then puberty, it turned very sexual. I was nearly caught a few times but thankfully my parents were seldom home, and my mothers underwear drawer was raided. Needles to say, I learned how to use the washing machine quite early. My wife was surprised when I showered her the lengths I would go to to cover my tracks. Thanks to digital photos, I was able to make drawers and cupboards look exactly as i had found them. A shit ton of effort all to get my rocks off... Was it worth it. Every minute...

[Lacey New]

For me, dressing has always had a sexual component to it. When I started, years ago coming into puberty "borrowing" my sister and mother's panties for a few minutes, it was obviously very immediate and intense. As I got older and started to acquire my own things, the excitement of wearing feminine things was still there but along with it came a feeling of just plain enjoyment. So there became more balance. I do not get to dress that often though so, even now, the sexual piece is still there.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

the short answer is lots(and lots) of cds, tgs and ts people have these feelings...and lots of those feelings seem to go up and down over time..

each of our "proclivities" is a natural expression of our own selves and i hope everyone can enjoy their own feelings with no shame or fear

also i know the behaviour of getting the release of the sexual attraction can become very addicting and calming to the anxiety of gender dysphoria

[phylis anne]

Hmmmmmm when I am in drab mode I am a typical guy , but when dressed----- I become very submissive and well girly :devil:
hugs phylis anne

[wanda66]

With out a doubt it's sexual, but it doesn't drive my dressing. I love the feel of my pantie and bra the feeling of my dress blowing in the wind,that is the climax that i drsire !

[maya1love]

Hi, thought I would reply to this thread. Well, for me, dressing was definitely sexually arousing when I was a teenager...and the truth is that, it still is. But what arouses me is different now, then what it used to be. Before, just wearing panties, a dress and makeup would be arousing. It seemed to take so little. Now, as I dress fully, my arousal comes from "situations" that I am in -- being out in public, being treated like a woman, interacting with people and looking at my pictures all dressed up. So, is that eroticism? Yes, I think it is. But, now, to get to that arousal, I work harder to create my fantasies! There is definitely a feminine side to me that has nothing to do with eroticism and arousal. I express this side of me even in male mode, as many gay men have the luxury of doing to a certain extent. But if I were being really honest, I would say that dressing up is still about eroticism for me.

[Wandacdmn]

For me it was definitely connected with sexual arousal, seeing my body in a way that I wanted to see women. But as I dressed more and more completely I began to enjoy the feminine feeling without the overt sexual arousal. And I can have a very fun dress up session in my hotel without even going there. So I think I have uncovered a nonsexual desire to be dressed and feel as a woman.

[StefaniLara]

When I first started, there was a sexual component to it, I'll admit. It was taboo, and the feeling of panties and hose was arousing and exhilarating. The older I get, and the more comfortable I become in my own skin, it doesn't feel unnatural, so a lot of that excitement is gone, along with the arousal that comes with it. Now, although I want to feel and look sexy, it's become a second skin to me. As such, it feels even better than it did when it was a cheap thrill.

[Abby Kae]

When I first discovered that CDing existed, I definitely fetishized it. Seeing these beautiful women and realizing they started with the same components I have pushed all my buttons. I denied it for years and would only travel to that portion of the internet on rare occasions, because of the fear of asking myself questions about why it was such a massive stimulant.

Since admitting to myself that I want to do it myself, rather than just watch, I've found the fetish to be completely gone. Old standby sites no longer "raise the flag", they just give me ideas for how to better complete my own transformation into Abby.

In my experience, it was a thousand times easier to tell myself that it was just a fetish that didn't require explanation than it was to come to grips with my fluctuating gender identity and expression.

[Mayo]

For me, dressing itself isn't sexual per se - what's arousing to me when I'm dressed is the feeling that it gives me of having a female body and of being able to pleasure myself in an appropriate manner if I'm in the mood to do so. That said, I don't think that I'm much more stimulated when dressed than I am when not. On the other hand, I've been dressing a lot more recently, so a higher percentage of my recent sexual experiences have taken place while dressed...

I confess, however, that I do get aroused by the thought of other people getting aroused at seeing me dressed. I just feel sexier and the thought that others think so too stimulates me.