kind of an awkward question

[cd_dominique]

So as I posted the other day, I went shopping for and bought myself a Karen Scott blouse. When my SO came home that afternoon, she saw me wearing the blouse and commented that she'd love to wear it also.

Now I know it's frowned upon for the CD to borrow the SO's clothes, but what about vice versa? How do I address it if she would want to wear a blouse i got for myself?

And is it possible this might lead to future shopping trips, which she's trying to put the kibosh on? We're not broke, but i have had some issues with near-OCD (not cross-dressing related) that she's concerned with.

[franlee]

No, you are off on the wrong to borrow from the SO. It's doing it without permission that is frowned on. And personally I take it as a compliment and vote of approval for her to use any of my stuff.

[Marcelle]

Hi Dominque,

There is nothing wrong with borrowing from your SO or vice versa so long as the sharing is agreed upon. My wife and I share both tops and shoes as we have similar tastes. Now borrowing without permission is another subject.

Hugs

Isha

[Kiwi Primrose]

We share but we always ask first; it goes both ways.

[Foxy Lady]

My wife and I have been sharing for over forty years.

[Claire Cook]

I think it's a wonderful compliment for your wife to like your good taste in clothes. Women do share clothes -- why shouldn't we do the same with our wives and GF's?

[Barbara B]

My wife borrows from me all the time, I don't see a problem with it. She will quite happily asks if she needs something. Surely it makes more sense than spending unnecessarily.

[Raychel]

My wife "borrows" from me at times as well
Although borrow means to me that it would get returned.

Once she "borrows" it becomes hers.
Me borrowing her things is totally off limits.

Just letting you know how it works here, :daydreaming:

[alwayshave]

Since I have a lot more panties than my SO, she borrows from me all the time. I once borrowed a shaper/briefer from her.

[kimdl93]

Sharing is perfectly ok, as so many have noted above. I'm afraid you're mixing up things up a bit in this respect. If your wife shares that top with you, it won't necessitate another shopping trip. You still have it, but the two of you can get more use or value from the purchase.

The other matter, your OCD issue, is a legitimate concern. Regardless if whether you can 'afford' to shop, if it becomes compulsive, you can end up harming yourself, your relationship and your finances with needless purchases. Better to make shopping a joint endeavor so she can help you keep things under control.

[Janet Bern]

Go for it... and ask to borrow her nightie

[Vale]

Keep it simple. Just say "Yes, of course." -- and enjoy the sharing.

Vale

[Connie D50]

I love it when my wife borrows my thinks and wears it all day. One it means I have good taste and two it brings us just a little closer. Connie

[Sarah Beth]

I agree with what was said earlier, it's the using without asking that creates the problem. In most things my wife and are different sizes but there are a few things we have shared over the years. I would be flattered if I bought something and my wife liked it well enough to want to borrow it.

[suzanne]

This past weekend, my SO and I attended a wedding. Shortly before we were to leave, she came downstairs and asked, "Is it OK if I wore this dress today?" What could I say but, "I'd be honored if you do". For a lot of reasons, it's great. It showed me where her comfort level is, that our tastes are in line with each other's, and how much she trusts me. And that wasn't even my best outfit! Because our shapes are different, not everything I have works on her. So it looks like the "re-appropriations" will be minimal lol!

[Angie G]

My wife and I borrow things back and forth. It's your wife do you want to say it's mine and you can't have it.Dominique let her wear the blouse.:hugs:
Angie

[AbigailJordan]

Whilst it is good news that your SO likes your style enough to actually want to try/borrow some of your stuff, don't build your hopes up that it will necessarily lead to shopping trips etc.. especially if that's been a no-no up till now.

Personally.. the way I would have approached it is "sure you can borrow it.. no problem.. as long as I can try on that dress of yours that I've loved since you bought it" or something along those lines.. if you can encourage two way sharing between your wardrobes then you might find one day when you're out together she might spot something that she thinks would look good on you and point it out.. but as with everything.. it has to be at her pace.

Best of luck with it x x x

[ReineD]

Now I know it's frowned upon for the CD to borrow the SO's clothes, but what about vice versa?

It's only frowned upon if the husband wears his wife's clothes without her permission or knowledge. Most of us have been taught to not take or use things that don't belong to us.



How do I address it if she would want to wear a blouse i got for myself?

That depends. If you're OK with your wife wearing your clothes, let her. If you don't want your wife to wear your clothes then you need to tell her and she needs to respect this.



And is it possible this might lead to future shopping trips, which she's trying to put the kibosh on?

You're wondering, if your wife wears your clothes she might agree to buying more clothes for you? You'll need to ask her because the two are not necessarily linked and only she can answer this for you. Also, I don't think it's right to have ulterior motives for being generous. Either you're OK with your wife wearing your clothes, or you are not.

[michelle.foster]

I was in a similar situation. My wife had a gastric bypass and lost a bunch of weight in a very short time. We wore the same size for a while and she was always getting in to the few things I had. Now she is a couple size smaller but she still gets into the couple of tops of mine that fit her. I just compliment her on how good my top fits her. and she thanks me. LOL. What that really means is that if it fits her that good, it's too small for me now, so I just have to go buy myself some new things, OH darn!

[jigna]

Although my wife is helping me to buy undergarments, she will never allow me touch her cloths.
I have permission only to wear under garments, that too in the night time and I am not allowed to go out wearing this under male cloathing on top of it.

[Cheryl T]

My wife and I share everything that fits both of us. Sometimes it's a bra or a top, sometimes it's stockings or pantyhose, sometimes it's a nightie.
Nothing wrong with sharing and everything right with a wife that understands and wants to join the fun.

[chris63]

My wife and I share. Her only stipulation is that I don't stretch or rip anything that doesn't fit me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dominique You just won the lottery, It's like you can't see the forest for all those damn trees.:daydreaming:

[Melody Phillips]

I always ask my wife if she wants to wear any of my tops. She never used to be able to. She has lost a lot of weight and can wear my stuff, now. I usually don't wear her things because I like my style better. lol We shop together and give each other our opinions. She is the greatest.

[Megan b]

I used to love it when my ex-wife would borrow my clothes. I was a little bigger than her but it made me feel good that she would like some of my things enough that she would borrow them, plus I only got to wear those nice things at home and wanted to share with her. It also made me feel like I had good taste in clothes and a nice style as well.

[Steph_CD_62]

I don't have a problem sharing.
Matter of fact the last thing she borrowed was a slip, and I still haven't gotten it back so I just went out and bought a new one.

[DanaR]

Years ago, I went out shopping one night and came home after my wife and gone to bed. I bought an outfit and just left if in the bag, in the family room. When I got up the next morning, I couldn't find my new outfit and called my wife to see if she might have place it somewhere else. She told me that she looked at it and decided to wear it to work that morning. When she came home that night, she told me some of her co-workers commented on what a cute outfit it was and where did she get it. She told them that it was something that her husband picked up.

Anyway she always borrows my stuff, earrings, other jewelry and clothes; which is fine with me. She has told me that its okay to borrow her stuff too.

[Maxi]

My wife is always welcome to borrow my stuff. All I ask is, with clothes, just wash them and hang them back up, anything else, just put it back when your done. She like knowing she always has a backup wardrobe.

[Tina B.]

I love it when my wife wants to borrow any of my female stuff, and she has always been quick to offer me any of her stuff as long as it fits and I don't stretch it out of shape.
It has doubled the jewelry we both have to choose from, and when our sizes where closer to the same, we use to share blouses, I always loved it when she got complements while wearing my clothes!
She has always said she loves my clothing style and tells me I have good taste, I've also had SA's tell me she is a very lucky lady to have a husband that has such good taste in gift giving, little did she know, I was shopping for myself. But I also shop for the wife, and she also loves what I get her. So yes I recommend sharing, as long as it is done with permission, both ways.

[Judith96a]

Dominique,
As others have said, it's 'borrowing' without asking (especially if it involves stretching) that is frowned upon. If your wife wants to borrow your blouse, smile sweetly and let her (and pocket the brownie points). And if the 'borrowing' should become permanent then consider it as an investment! After all, if she's 'borrowing' your clothes she can hardly object to you going out and buying more, can she?
The only clothes of mine that my wife wants to borrow are boy clothes :(

[CONSUELO]

Be nice, share!

[ChristinaK]

I would be thrilled to death if my wife wanted to wear my clothes. It would make them seem even more feminine. Lucky you!

[Sammy777]

To the OP, yes, let her borrow it. Even if for what ever reason she does not (normally/currently) reciprocate.

This goes out to all that is applies to as I did not want to go multi-quote crazy.
I am at a bit of a loss here and excuse my rudeness here, but is this a "guy thing"?
There are more then a few replies with the underling sediment of:
"If SO borrows your clothes = excuse to go buy more clothes (for yourself)"

I'm sorry, but like I said, I just don't get it??
In my past having family/friends borrow my clothes did not make me think "Ya! Time to go shopping"

In the present I still do not equate loaning out my clothes with an excuse to go shopping.
I (and most women I know) do not think "Oh my friend liked/borrowed a skirt, time to go buy more of them"
Maybe because borrowing clothes is generally more openly done by women then men so we do not see it as anything special?