Found a gender therapist

[Alexa Lynne]

I found a female gender therapist. Her rate is 120/hr which is cheap compared to others. Their gonna check to see if i can get all of my therapy hours in one session. If so, i only have to drive 2 hours. 3-5 hours is all i'm probably required to have.. . Plus, if i have to do it on Saturday, i can. . . Fingers are crossed.

[Tristessa]

I would strongly recommend not stacking up your hours in a single session, but going weekly for an hour at a time. This is a process, and your feelings may shift as you spend time with them. Processing continues outside of session, so it's preferable to be able to have someone to check in with as that occurs. When you come out the other end, you will be much more certain of your chosen path, whatever that happens to be.

[Alexa Lynne]

due to the fact that i can't drive 2 hours every single week, i have to do it all at once. I'm only gonna have one chance at getting away for a day, so I have to make the best of it.

[AllieSF]

Congratulations. I agree with Tristessa. If it is to deal with a specific issue, then treatment can take anywhere from one session to many more, sometimes stretching over years. However, it seems like you are doing this minimal number of hours to satisfy a requirement to take a specific next step. Is that to start HRT or something else? If so, I can better understand what you are doing and why the urgency, though even if self convinced of the path that you must follow, going through the "gate keeper's" process over time may better help you along that path and avoid costly errors, in both money, time and emotions. I do wish you the best.

[stefan37]

Therapy is a process that can't be completed in one marathon session. What is your motivation to seek therapy? Are you trying to understand where you fit? Are you looking to get a letter to start hormones? You may be able to get a reduced rate.

[Alexa Lynne]

I'm doing the minimum required by the State of Arkansas do get an HRT letter so i can start hormones.

[stefan37]

I highly doubt any therapist will give you a letter after 1 marathon session. I noticed in another thread you stated your wife is not on board. Well from my experience hormones are the relationship killer. Are you ready to transition? Are you ready to lose your marriage? Your employment? Have you started facial hair removal? You should think very carefully about the consequences of pulling the pin on the Trans grenade. It gets real very quickly and I hope you are prepared for that.

[Alexa Lynne]

stefan, Yes, I have thought about everything. I don't like hurting people, especially people I love and care for, but I know if i don't know this, I will be miserable and very unhappy. And i did talk to the therapist earlier today, and she said that there would probably be no problem in getting an HRT letter if i can do a 4-5 hour session at once, which is what i'm gonna aim for.

[Teresa]

MackenzieNicole,
I would doubt you will cover everything in one session , she will possibly want you to go away and think through what has been discussed , it's surprising what will come to you when you've slept on the issues brought up ! You may think she's stringing you along by making follow up sessions but you're only cheating yourself by trying to cover all the ground in one go !
In the UK if you want to go down the HRT road, the NHS will not consider it in a single session ! If you go privately it may be a different matter but it's not something to consider lightly and will affect others once you start !

[TrishaTX]

I would try one time in person and maybe one on the phone until you get the assistance you need...

[Sarasometimes]

I'd be leery of this approach. The reasons there are requirements is to protect you from making what you believe are well thought out choices when they may not be. If you truly can't get away for even two trips to her how will HRT fit into that schedule? There are real medical concerns to taking hormones in addition to all of the life altering aspects.
I don't know Ark. law or this therapist but it sounds very iffy to me. Couple that with her discounted rate???
I wish you luck and hope this all goes well for you but ongoing therapy is usually needed/wanted by those on HRT. Your wife is going to react someway and you will experience mood swings and emotions you have never experienced? Please tread slowly. You are close, don't rush it now. OMHO Best of Luck!

[UNDERDRESSER]

I understand you have restrictions on how you can do this, but is it at least possible to do it spread out? Early start, split it up into 2 or 3 sessions with breaks, maybe a nap in between? Over a weekend would be better. It's almost impossible to go through this stuff without it throwing up stuff that you hadn't considered. Rushing it can be almost as bad, ( possibly worse ) as not doing it at all.

[ErikaS]

A good thought was given to me therapy is slow and a process and a quote " Don't rip the bandaid off to fast" cd is like that the journey is slow for a reason. Others here have seasoned themselves in this process. Another quote there is no free lunch. Lol

Erika

[Shelly Preston]

I am surprise to hear they even consider doing this in one session.

They need to judge how you react to questions over time not just on one day.

Even with video links I would be shocked if it was not at least two sessions with maybe video meeting(s) in the middle.

Good Luck with the meeting.

[Alexa Lynne]

Shelly, the reason they said I could do it all in one session is because i live so far away. I told them that I couldn't drive 3 hours once or twice a week, so they are setting this up as "special services" for me. I'm not worried, because this therapist is professional and has excellent reviews.

[stefan37]

Professionalism is certainly a good skill for her to have. You seem to moving forward at hyper warp speed. Are you ready to handle the changes coming at you like a freight train. You complain your wife is not on board. You are giving her zero time to comprehend what you are doing. From my experience I can almost guarantee your marriage will explode in a huge fireball. ( I really hope that is not the case. I know no transsexuals in real life other than this forum where the marriage survived.). Transition gets real very quickly. What is your gameplan for work and funds. Can you afford divorce, alimony, living expenses while also shelling out 20 grand for facial hair removal. 25+ grand for FFS, another 25 grand for SRS?
Are you prepared to come out publicly in your town? Work? Transition is a very public process and once out hard to control the message.

I raise these points because transition is hard. Very hard. I started transition 3 years ago, full-time for 2. My transition has been relatively easy. I lost my marriage, but we still work together. My family is somewhat supportive. I have employment. I also know girls that have wretched experience from wives, nasty divorce, unsupportive family. Lost their job and can't find work. Early transition is easy. Easily hid. Giddy from doing what you feel you must. Then 12 months on it starts to get very real and the real work starts. Showing the world the female within. Hopefully you're blessed with female physiology and facial features. Or you have the money to correct your maleness. And if not the internal fortitude and self confidence to weather the misgendering and humiliation.
Trust me you will experience it in some form. I am not familiar with how tolerant Arkansas is. If it's anything like West Va. You are in for a rocky road strewn with foxholes.

Obviously I don't know you, nor how long you have been dealing with Gd. But since joining here it's like you rolled out of bed, said I need to be a woman and mashed the accelerator to the floorboards. Without a well thought out plan it will mostly end in a fiery crash.

[Alexa Lynne]

Due to Arkansas laws, i did find out that the therapist cannot do it in one session. Which like i said above, may be a good thing. However, the therapist said that I would have 2 hour sessions for 4 months plus "homework" to do. What the heck does the homework involve and why? Does every therapist assign homework?

[Tristessa]

Many do. It's a way of making sure the new skills and perspectives you aquire in-session generalize to your outside life, as well as encouraging ongoing process outside of therapy. It's usually not too painful, usually just journaling or practicing a skill in new situations.

[Sarasometimes]

Glad to hear they won't go for the mega session. Odd that a highly reviewed gender therapist thought she could do an end around on this? Homework in therapy can be super helpful if done with thought and quite frankly if you don't want to take the time and put in this effort to achieve, what you believe is the right thing for you may be another red flag to slow down this train your on. Good Luck and mabe you should visit the transgendered part of the forums for more insight.

[cheryl reeves]

sounds like a real bad case of pink fog to me..ive seen many mash the accelerator and when they either run out of gas or crash and burn they look around like what happened,then the regret takes place and its hard to go back..do you love your wife or are you looking for a way to desttoy it? im ts but will stick to cd'n for i love my wife who keeps me sane and grounded.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mackenzie,

It is certainly clear by your plethora of posts that you are very conflicted and the feelings of confusion you have are certainly real. Does this mean you are TS (i.e. want to become a woman)? It could be but then again it might not be what you think. This is the reason why well guided therapy with a gender identity therapist is important. I see from later posts the marathon approach is not going to go to fruition and to be honest, I was a bit shocked to read a registered therapist was willing to do so. I have been in therapy for over a year trying to understand who I am and how everything fits. When this first hit me like a Tsunami over a year ago, I was confused, depressed, anxious and scared (sound familiar?). I figured I was broken and a therapist could fix me, then I thought okay I am just kinky and like to wear women's clothing, then I thought goodness I must be TS and have now settled into a "gender fluid" understanding. Does my journey end there? No, as it is a work in progress which my therapist guides me through not rushes me through.

You may be wondering . . . "Your point Isha?" :confused: . My point is this . . . being somewhere on the TG spectrum can be confusing and don't get me wrong, you may be TS and have always known that deep down in your soul. However, take the time to explore your new found identity and ensure that moving forward to transition is something you really need to do. You have been provided some sage advice by some of our TS members who have lived this and it isn't an easy path for everyone. From your writings, I gather you have never gone in public presenting as a woman . . . this is not always easy to do and you really need thick skin out there in the Vanilla world. You therapist should insist on this and this could be what your homework will be . . . gaining a real life perspective of what it means to live as a woman . . . full time. So while you may think that a letter will be forthcoming after one or two marathon sessions, your therapist is not required (and should not if she/he is professional) put a check mark beside box A "Completed x number of therapy sessions" then simply check box B "Move on to HRT". She/he may decide that you need further sessions.

I realize you are excited, anxious and coming to grips with an identity but please . . . take it slow. If you and your therapist decide that transition is the way ahead then so be it but at least let the process work rather than trying to rush through it to the finish line which may or may not be where you need to be. My two cents and feel free to tell me to jump in the lake. :)

Isha

[Jackie7]

Jeez Mackenzie you do realize that HRT causes changes that aren't reversible? You can learn a lot and grow a lot just by climbing out on a limb and going out en femme, without having to saw the limb off behind you.

[Shelly Preston]

Due to Arkansas laws, i did find out that the therapist cannot do it in one session. Which like i said above, may be a good thing. However, the therapist said that I would have 2 hour sessions for 4 months plus "homework" to do. What the heck does the homework involve and why? Does every therapist assign homework?

Hi Mackenzie

Glad to see that law does not allow one session only. It may not apply to you but there are some who need protecting from themselves.

Good luck with the homework.

[Alexa Lynne]

Hi Mackenzie

Glad to see that law does not allow one session only. It may not apply to you but there are some who need protecting from themselves.

Good luck with the homework.


I found a doctor in Springfield, Missouri that will prescribe HRT without an HRT letter, and i only live 3 hours away. And yes i do understand that these are irreversible and do understand the side effect, and risks. Trust me, I have done research on this :)

[Alexa Lynne]

Jackie, i'm unable to go out in femme, due to my wife's job. She knows a lot of people around here (she's a band/choir director) and if i am caught by someone she knows, she could lose her job.

[stefan37]

Your healthiest option is to consult with an endocrinologist. They will perform baseline bloodwork. After the results they will prescribe a regimen for you. Dosages will vary depending on the doctors thought process. They will most likely prescribe low levels to allow your body to acclimate and see how you respond. They may then increase or even lower your dose.

Hormones are powerful chemical agents that perform their work on the cellular level. Frequent testing is required to ensure deadly medical conditions are detected early.

Your sexual performance and libido will also diminish to s point you can't perform. Hormones will usually be the point at which the spouse will want out of the relationship. You are moving light speed. Transition is not a race, but a marathon that takes years. You may want to start exploring going out as a woman. Interact with the world. Transition is serious work. The pitfalls are many and if you lack the mental strength to endure them. Booom. Huge explosion.

The questions you ask are absolutely better asked in the TS sub forum. Just don't expect a chorus of "You go Girl" answers.

I just read your last 2 previous posts. I don't believe you do understand the consequences of HRT nor what dosages would be appropriate. If going out as female could get your wife fired. Where do you think you might transition? You do need to understand this. Transition is a very public process. Events tend to get real very fast. Nobody transitions in stealth after living decades as a male!!

[Shelly Preston]

Mackenzie you now have me extremely worried. I am wondering what kind of doctor would suddenly tell you they are happy to prescribe HRT.

I would suggest that most would say if its right for you, (which would mean some sort of assessment), then they have to consider your medical history before proceeding.

This seems too much of a leap to say yes I will just give you HRT.

They either have not explained this correctly or they don't understand. This would make me even more worried for your safety

[arbon]

I'm not one of those who transitioned relying much on therapists or doctors. Once I knew what I needed to do I did it.


If you really feel the need for hrt and there is a doctor willing to prescribe you'll know soon enough if it is right for you or not. But the the train your on is going to speed up so hold on. There is a lot of risk in transition . Understand there can be some really hard times ahead.


Jackie, i'm unable to go out in femme, due to my wife's job. She knows a lot of people around here (she's a band/choir director) and if i am caught by someone she knows, she could lose her job.

Once you start hrt your needs will probably increase and your going to face the reality sooner or later.

Are you sure it is what you want? Why?

[Sarasometimes]

This is not going to go well! MTF transition has protocols in place for the SAFETY of the Transitioner developed over decades of research and circumventing them by a licensed MD is unlawful and dangerous. This is the same as the doc who will give multiple pain killer scripts out for no good cause.
How can you make a 3 hour trip to get the drugs but not willing to do so to do it the prescribed way? What do you do when the estrogen causes you an issue and the doc is 3 hours away. Any thought of your trip the the pharmacist and you bump into one of your wife's co-workers and they ask if you are sick? What work do you do? Will a lose of strength, softer skin, wider hips, a bustline
Please realize that none of the posts have encouraged your chosen method, None!