You shouldn't be embarrassed

[Jennifer0874]

Yesterday I woke up around 5am and just had to dress. I knew my wife would be asleep until at least 9am as this is here usual weekend routine.

Nothing special,light makeup and a maxi dress. Since it was early, I thought I should run out and get some coffee. I decided to drive somewhere outside my neighborhood just to avoid running into someone I knew.

Low and behold I walk in the door and there is a woman Celina I used to work with already in the shop sitting at her computer working at 7am. All I thought was walk ahead and place your order. We make eye contact and she gives a long look and that's it. For sure she knows I'm a crossdresser, but I hope that's it. I place my order and go wait. I look over and Celina is walking towards me. She comes right to me and says my male name"is that you?". I say yes.

She is smiling and hugs me and says"you look pretty good as a woman". She then invites me to sit down and catch up. So I do. I was nervous and a bit shaky. I could feel myself turning all shades of red. She grabs my hand and says "I'm totally fine with this, please don't be embarrassed". After that I felt at ease and we caught up for about an hour. it was nice, but I do worry it might get back to others I wouldn't want to know even though she assured me it wouldn't.

When I told my wife she said that what happened is the price I have to pay for wanting to dress in public.

[Patty]

That is what I worry about also. but now that I am retired no worry's about fellow workers.

[Sandie70]

I am almost to the point of completely outing myself both as being bisexual and a crossdresser, and your experience is a good example why. Sometimes the devil you don't know is no where as bad as the devil you do know.

I figure I might lose some FB friends but, if I do, maybe I shouldn't have had them as friends anyway. And my family? Who knows? Maybe they'll be like your friend Celina.

[Jorja]

Don't worry, she won't say a word to anyone. She gave you her word.

[Jennifer0874]

Luckily I no longer work in that industry we worked in together.

I expect word to get out. i know my wife has told a couple of her friends, and I'm sure they've told others. Plus my ex-wife lord only knows who she's spread the word to. And yet my life seems to continue.

Maybe I can thank them from saving me the trouble of coming out.

[pamela7]

that is SO awesome Jennifer, what a lovely outcome. Don't worry, she clearly gets you need it kept quiet.

[Sarah-RT]

I'm finding myself these days caring less and less about what people I don't know think, since anyone who needs to know or I want to know, knows about me. If someone I don't know was to insult me over it it's like, what's it to you? I couldn't give a...what you think, there's a reason I'm not friends with you.
The world is moving forward and more and more of us are coming out these days and for the small few who want to make something trivial their business then I don't want to know them.

Your wife knows and a few of her friends, if your ex colleague spread it to anyone else what of it? The only downside is the embarrassment that we bring home and dwell on but as long as you keep a brave face to would be annoyances then they will move on.

Sarah x

[STACY B]

She is your out,,lol,,, I mean by getting to interact with another woman and have someone to talk shop with,, Was she alright or just saying it to make you feel better ? I wish I could have someone to have conversations with like that,, My main goal is to interact with other woman on there level and just talk general stuff and hang out.

You may have just found your BFF ? I see movies ,, Plays,, Mall,, On an On an On,,, Go for it,, make sure your SO is cool though !!

[Jaylyn]

You may be worried for nothing. We as humans have a tendency to do that. Until something happens I've tried to make myself just not think about the negatives of what might happen. It's hard to think like this but you can save lots of worrisome times by giving the situation a little thought then try and not worry.

[kimdl93]

Of course being recognized is a risk, but wasn't it worth it!

[Pat]

Sounds like an awesome event. Your wife is right, that is the price of going out in public. Some people will think it's too high and some won't. I think the freedom is worth the price. It doesn't sound like you're too upset.

[AngelaYVR]

Sounds like a nice time. I would be worried that people always feel the need to tell another (with the proviso that they keep it secret...and so on) but, of course, that isn't everybody.

[justmetoo]

I agree with Sarah and Jennie and the others. Maybe it is the "price you pay" for wanting to go out in public, but if you accept yourself and have confidence most people will likely be fine. And the few that aren't may not be a loss. Of course, some people in our lives matter more than others and can have a negative impact if they have a problem with who we are. So sometimes stealth is necessary. On the other hand, it seems it's less necessary for more and more of us as we come to light.
Good luck! Sounds like you ave a cool friend, and a cool wife!

[LeslieSD]

It is not a "price you pay", it is an "award you won". You just had a rare opportunity to find a rare true friend who truly cares about you and value you as who you are. Think about it, about how many of your friends and colleagues can you say that?

I think you should go out and celebrate. :)

[MissTee]

Sounds like it will work out, and you probably won't mind if it don't.

[Robin414]

Wow, I would call that an unintended confidence boost for sure, kinda like having to make an impromptu speach and getting a standing ovation afterward 😅

[Krisi]

If you get yourself fixed up as a woman and people recognize you away from familiar surroundings such as your home or your wife, you might want to work on your presentation. To start with, different color and length hair, bangs, and perhaps female styled glasses. And beard cover.

It only takes one person knowing to out you to the world. People are bad with gossip.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenn, It's Mind over Matter, If you don't Mind it doesn't Matter.:daydreaming:

[Suzie Petersen]

If you go out dressed that close to home, it is only a latter of time before you run into people you know. If you are not ok with being found out, you should hide better.

Cat is out of the bag now, so just own it when it comes back to you from someone. Very likely people will not say anything directly to you for a long while. It is more likely that you later will run into someone else while you are dressed, have the same conversation you just did with your x-coleague, and the person will say "Oh I head about that .. everybody knows about you dressing as a woman!".

Dont worry about it. The more relaxed about it you are, the less of an issue it will be for others.
Just make sure your wife is ok with it all!

- Suzie

[Jennifer0874]

Since Sunday's meeting Celina and I have been emailing back and forth. The gist of it is that she's mature enough not to run around being a gossip and also that she thinks it would be fun to see Jennifer socially again. In her words she has a lot of questions and some things about herself that she wants to talk about with me.

I've also had so time to think about it and I am comfortable even if some people know. As my wife put it when we were talking more about this last night. "I told all my close friends about this long before I thought I would ever marry you. None of them were really put off by it. Some thought it would be fun. You need to give people more credit."

[Crystal Beth]

what neighborhood was this in? I know some in Chicago are easier than others.

[Jennifer0874]

I live in Lakeview right on the cusp of Boystown, but I was in Roscoe Village when this happened.

[justmetoo]

Nice, Jennifer! That confirms what I said in my previous post, that you have a cool friend and a cool wife! I love it. :)

[Robinadress]

Very nice story, thanks for posting.

I try to stay away from the area I’m living and working. I go out in places I think the chances are less to meet someone I know. The risk is always there when we are going outside, but I’m willing to take that risk, because just sitting in my home doesn’t give me anything. I don’t know if I have been discovered yet, because I don’t think everyone would approach us if they see us. They are probably also insecure about how to react to this unknown situation.

I think it’s very cool that your friend made contact!

[Ally 2112]

Always like hearing a positive story .Thanks for sharing i hope it works out great for you ! :)

[ChristinaK]

Hi Jennifer, your avatar picture is stunning (I'm so jealous!). I would take Celina at her word. Sounds like a great friendship to cultivate, but be careful, your wife may not understand your relationship with another woman. I tried that en femme, but my wife was VERY threatened.

Sounds like you may be out to more people than you think. I suspect that people keep their knowledge to themselves on such issues, as I am starting to suspect.

Perhaps, when we do things like shave our bodies, etc. people start to wonder. Then they put two and two together and say, "uh, huh, I knew it." In which case, they knew it. So... life goes on.