AbigailJordan
07-08-2015, 12:11 PM
It's been an interesting week. As some of you will know, I've recently confided in a few more close friends which has given me a little more freedom when it comes to visitors etc.
Anyway.. I was talking to one of those friends the other day, and she commented that she hadn't seen Abi for ages and when was she coming round again. I commented that I couldn't come round as Abi when certain people who knew me but not her were around, referring to one of our mutual friends who was leaving as I arrived. This led to her telling me that he already knew, and that apparently, quite a lot of people in town know about it already, far more than I was aware of or had confided in. As I've mentioned before I live in a relatively small rural town where gossip reigns supreme and minds can be somewhat smaller than usual..
Now the "problem" is that this mutual friend is also best mates with a guy who isn't my biggest fan.. and who also happens to be a taxi driver and one of the biggest gossips ever to walk the face of the earth. So at this point, I have to accept that as he knows, half of the entire town knows by now.
So.. I decided that I had two choices.. continue to hide away and let people talk behind my back.. or get out there and give them something to talk about.. so I chose to own it.
The following day, after doing some banking in my fave skinny jeans and cute capped sleeve black t-shirt (in guy mode still), I began the "process".. the works of course.. hair.. nails.. makeup.. heels and a smart but not overly flaunting outfit.. cream silk tailored trousers and a purple crosswrapped top, 3" navy heels with a navy jacket.. packed my handbag with essentials.. and headed out to my friends for the afternoon.. hung out at hers for a bit.. took her down town to run some errands.. stayed in Abi mode for the rest of the day, including another trip out to a friends house which ended up including a couple of total strangers meeting Abi too.
The strangest part of all this in my eyes, is that previously, even though I only ever used to go out late at night under cover of darkness, I would still always be nervous about the possibility of a neighbour seeing me.. or someone recognising my car and wondering who was driving it etc.. But when I decided to go out in full daylight (1:30pm on Monday afternoon) all dolled up, I don't recall even the faintest twinge of nerves as I stepped out of the door. I didn't rush. I took my time locking the door.. walking to the car etc.. same when I got out at the other end.. I totally did not care who saw me.. whether I was recognised.. or made.. and even when the strangers met me and I saw that slight narrowing of the eyes as the thought went through their head.. I just smiled and found it amusing rather than uncomfortable.
Obviously now I've done it once I'm pretty sure I will be taking more chances to get Abi out and about.. I wonder if it's the same for every girl who decides to come out in this way.. once you've decided "f**k it.. let's just do this".. all the nerves and the caring about who sees and what they think or say just disappears instantly.
Anyway.. sorry for the blog like nature, but I just wanted to share and maybe give some other girls in similar situations the confidence to just be themselves.
Anyway.. I was talking to one of those friends the other day, and she commented that she hadn't seen Abi for ages and when was she coming round again. I commented that I couldn't come round as Abi when certain people who knew me but not her were around, referring to one of our mutual friends who was leaving as I arrived. This led to her telling me that he already knew, and that apparently, quite a lot of people in town know about it already, far more than I was aware of or had confided in. As I've mentioned before I live in a relatively small rural town where gossip reigns supreme and minds can be somewhat smaller than usual..
Now the "problem" is that this mutual friend is also best mates with a guy who isn't my biggest fan.. and who also happens to be a taxi driver and one of the biggest gossips ever to walk the face of the earth. So at this point, I have to accept that as he knows, half of the entire town knows by now.
So.. I decided that I had two choices.. continue to hide away and let people talk behind my back.. or get out there and give them something to talk about.. so I chose to own it.
The following day, after doing some banking in my fave skinny jeans and cute capped sleeve black t-shirt (in guy mode still), I began the "process".. the works of course.. hair.. nails.. makeup.. heels and a smart but not overly flaunting outfit.. cream silk tailored trousers and a purple crosswrapped top, 3" navy heels with a navy jacket.. packed my handbag with essentials.. and headed out to my friends for the afternoon.. hung out at hers for a bit.. took her down town to run some errands.. stayed in Abi mode for the rest of the day, including another trip out to a friends house which ended up including a couple of total strangers meeting Abi too.
The strangest part of all this in my eyes, is that previously, even though I only ever used to go out late at night under cover of darkness, I would still always be nervous about the possibility of a neighbour seeing me.. or someone recognising my car and wondering who was driving it etc.. But when I decided to go out in full daylight (1:30pm on Monday afternoon) all dolled up, I don't recall even the faintest twinge of nerves as I stepped out of the door. I didn't rush. I took my time locking the door.. walking to the car etc.. same when I got out at the other end.. I totally did not care who saw me.. whether I was recognised.. or made.. and even when the strangers met me and I saw that slight narrowing of the eyes as the thought went through their head.. I just smiled and found it amusing rather than uncomfortable.
Obviously now I've done it once I'm pretty sure I will be taking more chances to get Abi out and about.. I wonder if it's the same for every girl who decides to come out in this way.. once you've decided "f**k it.. let's just do this".. all the nerves and the caring about who sees and what they think or say just disappears instantly.
Anyway.. sorry for the blog like nature, but I just wanted to share and maybe give some other girls in similar situations the confidence to just be themselves.