I revealed my femme side on my vanilla Facebook account

[The Optimist]

I spent the last few weeks considering revealing 'Amber' on my regular Facebook account. My super supportive friend and I went through all the possible positive and negative outcomes. Although there was some risk of alienation from either friends or family, I considered the likelihood to be low.

Overall, the positives seemed to outweigh the negatives. I resolved that in a worst case scenario of being rejected by long-term friends and family, I would remove any unkind comments and then message that person directly. I would tell them that I'm disappointed in their reaction but would leave our relationship open should they work through it and come to a place of acceptance.

For people I knew less well, negative comments would probably result in an unfriending and possible block. After all, why would the opinions of people I don't gel with have any bearing on me?

I carefully chose my time to post and did so with a flurry of nerves and excitement. All my fears of rejection turned out to be unfounded. I was congratulated and had many great, positive comments from people, even some with whom I hadn't spoken with years.

It made me happy on both superficial and deeper levels. The compliments and messages of support were awesome but the more satisfying and heartwarming part was that I realised that not a single person had anything other than positive vibes; I'm honoured to know such people and despite the distance left to travel, we've come a long way in acceptance and tolerance to unconventional lifestyles.

To my friends, I raise a glass! You guys are awesome!

Cheers!

Amber

xxx

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Amber, That should separate your friends from the phonies :hugs:

[pamela7]

lovely news, Amber!

[Marcelle]

Hi Amber,

What a great story! Thanks for sharing and I am so glad your friends came through. Kind of restores your faith in humanity.

Cheers

Isha

[okie kay]

Good for you,hope that makes you smile for a long time.

[Sandie70]

Amber, you're an inspiration. I have recently set up a Facebook account with my crossdressing identity, although I have privacy settings on it so that it doesn't bleed over to my regular FB page.

However, I sat this up with the idea of eventually doing what you've done. Although, what I fear is not that most people wouldn't be supportive, but that many have an image of me that the revelation might be too much to absorb... the shock of finding out my other secrets (I would come out as bi-sexual as well as a crossdresser) making them react badly.

Your experience gives me hope that this might not be the case. I'll let everyone know when I've "done the deed."

[2B Natasha]

Hey Amber.

That's great news. Friends always surprise me with their ability to look past society based fear mongoring.

Btw. Any chance you could copy and past what you wrote to everyone. I would be curious to see what you said. Please blot out the names and faces of your friends. They don't need trolls.

Cheers

[The Optimist]

Sure here you go:

One of the many magnificent things about hitting one’s 30s is the propensity to give even less and less of a damn of what others think of you and to aim to suit yourself in your desires, opinions and lifestyle. To that end, I’m immensely proud to present ‘Amber’, an alter-ego I kept hidden for 20 years due to crippling shame and guilt. With Claire’s outstanding support, help and nurturing, I’ve taken Amber from a shame-ridden clandestine bedroom-dweller to a proud expression of myself in public. My first venture into Nottingham city centre was without any fear. After years of hard emotional work I made a monumental leap from casual male wearer of nail varnish to full-on 50’s rock n’ roll babe.

Amber isn’t just a part of my life now, she is my life, every bit as valid as my conventional male configuration. With this in mind, I have embraced all the things I love about my feminine side and have resolved to make a career from it. They say that career happiness is not to do what you like, but to like what you do. I am currently training as a make-up artist, photographer and web designer with a view to running, amongst other things, a full crossdressing service; clothing, make-up, nails, and photographs.

I’ve never been happier, more positive or felt more liberated in my whole life and Amber represents only one of the remarkable changes I’ve brought about in myself over the last 18 months. None of these things would have been possible without the most important person in my life, Claire. She is the most free spirit I have ever met; a true inspiration. She lives life in a way few people will achieve – with 100% authenticity. She is more exciting, daring, exhilarating and enlivening than anyone else I’ve ever known and underpins everything she does with pure love. Her kindness for human beings astonishes me; no-one has a bigger heart. I am enormously proud of what we do together – living together, working together and most importantly, making thrilling memories that will last a lifetime.

[Brandy Mathews]

Amber,
Takes alot of guts to do that. Wish that I could do it. Way to go!
Hugs,
Bree

[Mjane]

Hi Amber, you truly are an inspiration to me. So happy for you, wishing you all the very best with the cross dressing service! I love the idea and i wish that these services were available more readily and were more accessible.

[jigna]

i too wish that these services were available more readily and were more accessible to all of us.

[Pat]

Congratulations! Very nice to read this. Even if I feel like the old guy in "Up" thinking, "Kids these days with their FaceTube and their Tweeters..." and then I read you're not a kid, you're in your 30's... I'm so old....

Good luck with the dressing service, sounds like an interesting venture. I wish they were as common in the US as they seem to be in the UK.

[Sarah-RT]

Hey Optimist, can I call you Optimus, like Optimus prime because that'd be awesome! I'll settle for Optimist Prime :heehee:

Anywho, great story and experience! I see from following your link your from Ireland too, thankfully we're less bible bashing as some of the states can be *cough* its a sin against god *cough* which got me to wondering, if any of us simply uploaded one of our best images of ourselves to facebook, would many people be all that bothered as we fear? not that im too eager to find out either but its an interesting thought.

All the best with your new career ventures, it must be a challenge to change course but power to you!

Sarah x

[mykell]

ive read the posts and i have to say im proud of you two,:thumbsup::thumbsup:
very nice that youll be working in the field that you have so much interest for....to me at this age its a "if only" but at least i have the comfort of knowing that things will be better for your generation, deep down i think the number of transgender folks are skewed lower from our fear of being recognized....i wish you much luck with your endeavors....

[Bria]

Amber, I'm glad things have gone well for you and the best of luck with your new in devours!

Hugs, Bria

[Heelios]

Amber, that is a beautiful, moving and inspirational piece of writing. Good luck with everything.

[Angie G]

You have some awesome friends Amber. Your a lucky girl hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Tracii G]

That is such great news Amber.
You have great friends.

[Catherine383]

I am so happy to hear that, Amber. I have thought about doing the same on my Facebook page but just can't get up the nerve! You go girl!

[Victoria Demeanor]

I just went to Barnes and Noble the other day and tried to buy one of those Face books you kids keep talking about. The girl just laughed and said they were out. that is how it work isn't it. Okay, okay.... I'm very excited and happy for you Amber and I hope all of your ambitions turn out for you.
way to go girl :clap:

[Robin414]

Thank you Amber!!! It's people with your strength that help us all! I truly see you and those strong enough to 'come out' as our marines, soldiers, and true advocates! I am so proud of you!!