Urge to dress is hard to overcome

[shawna0289]

In the past couple of months I started to work the same time my fiancé was, so it has been really hard to dress. But the urges to do so have been so great that it is getting to a point were I can not handle it anymore. Every day I wish I was a girl, and able to wear everything that girls get to wear like the pretty skirts, bras, panties, corsets, etc....

[Jaylyn]

The urge can be strong sometimes then it passes. Sometimes I just think it is going to explode inside but so far I've been able to absorb the urge when I can't dress by staying busy with my hobbies or working.

[Robin777]

I have one question; Do you ever plan on telling your fiance that you like to dress? I told my wife before we were married and that was 35 years ago. Before the internet was ever thought of. At least now you have resources to present to her to explain why you have to dress. Do you want to start a marriage with this being a secret and have her find out later? Check back on some of these threads and see how that worked out. Just saying............ I would think it would go better if you were straightforward with her before marriage.

[shawna0289]

She knows we really don't talk about it so idk what to do

[Sandie70]

I don't have an SO, but I understand the urge to dress - even quitting several times only to find the desire so strong that I always came back to it. Finally, I've realized that this is part of me and I can't keep denying it - even to the point that I realize I will eventually out myself to the entire world.

There is no way I could give you advice on what to do - that is too personal a decision - but know that a lot of us out here fully understand what you're going through.

[LexiNexi]

when you deny it just becomes stronger. Accceptance is best but also the hardest. Its almost like a drug. I dont think my s o likes it so I don't do it around her. Some times I can't wait for her to go to bed so I can dress.

[katieann1]

I wish I could dress but my wife doesn't like it or accept it so I am not sure what to do but my wife said if I Insist. On dressing up she. Is going to file for divorce and I will. Never see my kids

[Allisa]

I know what you mean, awhile back before I came to grips with my dualism I would underdress and that seemed to ease the urges somewhat to get me thru the rough spots.

[Teresa]

Katieann,
Being blackmailed like that is very harsh when it's something inside you that you can do nothing about, many of us struggle with the shame and guilt and try to function as husbands and fathers, our partners just don't understand how much it tear us apart trying to live up to our male image !

Shawna,
How much have you tried to understand it yourself and how have you tried to explain it to your fiance ?

[Angie G]

Maybe you could talk to her about your urges.:hugs:
Angie

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hi Shawna,
I don't really have any good advice for you as I am still trying to figure out myself and how to make this fit into my own relationship, plus I only know you from a couple of lines here on this post. However let me just throw in my two cents.
Fiance, You are not married yet and remember you are talking about what should be a life time commitment. You both need to be happy with your lives and you need to work this out now before you make that big step. I could go on and on about how much you both need to be honest with each other and willing to except each other full, but hopefully you understand.
There is one other thing and maybe it is just the way you said it. "Every day I wish I was a girl". My thought is, you may want to explore that thought a little more. If you are not thinking about transitioning , the fact that you say it like that makes me wonder. I could be wrong.
Good luck though and I hope you find some time to be you and dress up.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Shawna, I've had the urge to dress for 68yrs. now:daydreaming:

[kimdl93]

As an earlier comment suggests, you need to work on this topic with your fiancée. This is not the kind of thing you can suppress, repress or deny for a lifetime. And, it's not a crime, nor a character flaw. It's just a bit different. Work out some level of understanding with your future wife now, before it becomes a real problem.