Are you appalled?

[Sandie70]

I recently started a Facebook page for my crossdressing self and I've garnered quite a few friends so far - most are really cool, like on this site - and it's fun being able to interact with other girls on social media (with real names and no hidden identities).

However, I have been disgusted with the many crossdressers who troll FB to find partners for every sexual proclivity there is.

I keep blocking those who post TG porn or proposition me, but is it my imagination or is our community really filled with that many sexual perverts? That doesn't seem to be the fact on this forum - so, what's the deal on Facebook?

Oh, and I still get friend requests from men who seem to think that because I'm a crossdresser I'm a s***.

[AbigailJordan]

I've found that too Sandie.. It seems you only need to friend the wrong person and you're suddenly inundated with random friend requests.. and half your page is filled with all kinds of pornography.. I suppose those people have always existed.. and that forums like this don't really suit their purpose.. which is fortunate for us :)

[Suzie Petersen]

And we wonder why some people have a negative impression of CD'ers!

It is very sad, if you ask me.

[chris63]

Yeah, a FB crossdresser page is like a pervert magnet. I remember hearing Vera Wylde saying the same thing a while back

[paulinescotlandcd]

I have been inundated with requests from all over the world. You get used to blocking and just ignoring them.I recently changed my profile picture to something very boring and the requests have fallen away!

[Joni T]

That's exactly why I don't FB.
Joni

[Sarah-RT]

I recently set myself up a Facebook page, browsed a few other profiles of crossdressers and now all the groups and pages it's suggesting to join are all sexual based or a bit more "fetish" based.

Thanks, but no thanks. I'd be happy to add any of you gals here though once I get a few things with the privacy sorted

[Kate Simmons]

You have to consider the source Sandie. A lot of people consider FB a dating site with fresh fodder. I get the same as you but just ignore the wackos. I have a lot of good friends who are mutual to both sites. BTW the name I use on FB is Ericka Richards a name I formerly used here. :)

[Zylia]

Hah, welcome to the rest of the internet! The problem isn't Facebook, because this happens everywhere. Perverts are everywhere, CD.com is just squeaky-clean.

[Tristessa]

IS CD.com really "clean"? I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, but since I've become more active here (particularly since I posted a profile pic), I've been getting friend requests from some members that have had accounts for YEARS, but have a very low post count (fewer than me). This seems a bit suspicious to me, as I honestly can't figure out why someone would frequent a forum that they don't actually participate in. Maybe they do most of their communicating by private message? I don't know, but it does make me wonder whether they are here primarily to ogle our pics. Am I just being paranoid?

[Zylia]

No you're not paranoid, you're actually right. While it's not immediately apparent, it's still everywhere on CD.com. Most peeping toms on CD.com at least have the decency to pretend they're CDs themselves, for a very long time in some cases. What makes CD.com clean is the fact that obvious sex subjects aren't allowed, but we can still have panty threads, can't we?

[LucyNewport]

I think this site is fairly safe, in general. As with anything on the world wide web, post at your own risk, it never goes away. I do find it funny how most message boards (cd.com included) are like 90% lurker though!

[Krisi]

You are inviting this sort of response by posting as a crossdresser. It may not be right, but it's reality. Personally, I don't put anything about my "hobby" on Facebook and I only accept friend requests from people I know or friends of people I know.

As for this site being safe, it's a safe as you make it. Don't use your real name, don't post your town or city, don't post personal details and don't show your face and it's pretty safe. Ignore the above and you might be in trouble in various ways. Of course, it also depends on your level of stealth. If you normally walk around your neighborhood and town dressed as a female but with no attempt to disguise yourself, you're already out and you don't need to worry too much about the Internet.

[~Joanne~]

There are a lot of admirers out there, finding you and harassing you is just a lot easier on Facebook than it is any where else. They probably figure because you are there that you are free and looking, at least from their point of view. I have an account for my drab self and with all the spying and cross posting that goes on there, without any consent or whatever, I'd never get one for my fab self.

[Donnagirl]

I have a Facebook page with more people (and I use that term in its most generic) blocked than I have friends... But... Facebook has introduced me to lots of other, more local gals and quite a renewed social life. I actually wouldn't be without either, Facebook or this place, both have their pros and cons and collectively they cover the spectrum of need...

[Adriana Moretti]

I know your new to facebook....but...if you use facebook smart, and dont post in the public crossdressing tg groups, those people cant find you. If your posting pics in these public groups you can bet your life that people will bother you. I am NEVER EVER bothered, because those people cant find me..or maybe I'm just ugly... I just dont post my pictures in the groups...they are a breeding ground......i did notice on your facebook page you DONT post in these groups though ( from whayt I can see ), which leads me to believe they are getting acces to you through the comments you leave on OTHER peoples page or simply one of your facebook friends , so I'd question some of the friend requests you made, or comments you left on perhaps a questionable place. I figured that out the hard way and like i said nobody bothers me....or im ugly....could be that too xoxo

[Badtranny]

I recently started a Facebook page for my crossdressing self and I've garnered quite a few friends so far - most are really cool, like on this site - and it's fun being able to interact with other girls on social media (with real names and no hidden identities).

You use your real name on your Crossdressing FB page?

My rule for FB is no fake names. If your FB page isn't your main page including friends, work and family, then I can't accept the request. I won't be anyone's secret friend.

Regarding perverts, crossdressing is a sexually based activity for most men who do it. Even here you can find dozens of threads directly addressing the sexuality aspect of it.

[JessicaJHall]

Ugly... HAH! you are gorgeous Adrianna! And I love your approach to all this, I want to be you when I grow up.. !?

Edit: Lucy, I've been on Vbulletin boards not related to CDing and it always appears there are lots of lurkers, but it turns out most of them are bots.. googlebot, etc. They are automated info gathering software. This became apparent when a site was abandoned, and they were still lurking.

[kimdl93]

I wouldn't assume these are CDrs. There are lots of trolls out there posing as any manner of thing.

[Teresa]

Sandie,
It's one reason why I don't do any other sites, I don't care for the FB rules if you read the small print you don't just walk away and delete everything, they have rights to use pics or text anyway they choose, you even leave a footprint when visiting !
I know I have thrown caution to the wind sometimes on this forum , I haven't had any backlash so far but I've reached the point where it matters less anyway !
The only time I have concerns is when the forum is closed down, I assume through hackers so I hope it's secure enough to withstand it !

I have received some very flattering PMs about my pics but nothing to make my toes curl, if I appeal to someones sexual preferences it doesn't bother me because I'm only attracted to women dressed or not but it does feel slightly flattering !!

[Tracii G]

I have a lot of girls from here on my Girl FB page and lots of local girls and others from all over the country and overseas.
If I get anything pornish I block it.
I guess I have been lucky in that I have never had more than a few admirers get frisky.I just tell them keep it clean and respectful.
My page is all girl no guy pics of me at all.
I have a few GG FB friends that are friends with other CD's I know and they thought I was a GG that was accepting of CD's or I had a BF that was a CD.
When I told them I was a CD they said OMG really? The way you comment on things others post you respond just like a girl.
Main thing is when you see nasty stuff just block it.

[Sandie70]

The problem I've had with FB is that you really don't know what someone is like until you friend them. But I've slowly culled the bad apples and actually am gathering a nice group of ladies with really interesting stories and posts. Some are transgendered, some crossdressers and all of them represent the full range of the LGBT spectrum.

As far as presenting myself as a crossdresser on FB, well, that was the idea. I wanted a CD friendly page where I could just be myself in the open. And actually, it's also part of my grand plan to come out in the near future. At a time of my choosing, just the pressing of a letter on my keyboard and the deed will be done. And with that, my regular friends can peruse my page and see that (hopefully) this is, and has been, a fun and fulfilling part of my life.

[Lori Kurtz]

I get sexual excitement out of the very topic of crossdressing. Does that make me a pervert? I don't ever intentionally give unwanted attention to anyone, on this site or anywhere else, and I understand that for many members here, sexual pleasure is a very small part of what brings them here. And I can understand that what crossdressing means to me could well be viewed as trivial by people who have to deal with being transgender. I appreciate this site's personality and rules--they make this a safe and comfortable place for "good girls," and when I get the urge to be a "bad girl," I get my thrills through playing on other sites that are less demure than this one.

Crossdressing has affected my life deeply, causing a lot of pain and shame as well as pleasure. This site has helped me come to terms with my own crossdressing past, and I would hate to have people like me feel unwelcome here.

[OCCarly]

+1 on the sketchy friend requests being from trolls posing as CDers and using stolen photos. There are a lot of trolls on Facebook period, and their only goal is to invade your privacy and take whatever they can get from you. If you are a CDer or a TG, they are probably looking for racy pictures.

But there are other kinds of trolls. A few years ago I had a chance to go drive some very exotic automotive hardware on the racetrack, and I posted a photo of myself with some of the cars as my banner photo on my (male) account (which is also my only account). All of a sudden I started getting a slow but steady trickle of friend requests from some accounts that purported to be very pretty young ladies, with lots of photos of them in bikinis, short shorts, whatever. Some appeared to be genuine, others appeared to be pretty fake.

The reality is if you put anything enticing on Facebook, you are going to get troll friend requests sooner or later. Facebook is infested with trolls of every stripe, from political hatemongers to golddiggers to perverts, to who knows what. Set your privacy settings high and be careful out there.

[Lori Kurtz]

Oh ... and one more little observation ...
I wonder what the story is with those guys who are sexually interested in crossdressers. Are they closeted gays who reject their own homosexuality or bisexuality, and hide those feelings (from themselves) by directing their attentions toward guys who are trying to look like women? Or could they actually be in the grip of a crossdressing urge that they are unwilling (or afraid?) to accept in themselves, but that they find fascinating when they see someone else expressing it?

[flatlander_48]

L K:

The answer is likely Yes...

DeeAnn

[Robin414]

Appalled isn't a strong enough word, it's been said at least once in this thread but this is likely the biggest reason society looks down on us!

[AllieSF]

Lori,

They could be as you described, or they could be just nice guys interested in girls and ladies like us. I have met some admirers who date some of my friends. They don't profess to be straight nor confused, nor dirty old men, nor do they act that way. They know what they like and want and are very nice men.

As to the OP, I am not on other social networks like Facebook because I already spend way too much time here, have concerns about keeping my private life private on sites like that, and can show off here with pics when I want with less worry about those pics getting into the wrong hands, though that is still very possible here.

[Robin414]

OK, my last post sounded kinda closed minded, negative, and disrespectful of some, that's NOT me, I echo AllieSF in that some may be genuine, I apologize if I offended anybody 😳

[Michelle_Diane]

And that's why I don't do Facebook....nah only kidding. I'm too old to try this facebooky twitting thingy.:)

[Sandie70]

By the way, I've mentioned often on this site that I'm bi, so it's not being attractive to men that's the issue. No, you would have to see the notes I get from men in drab and some crossdressers I don't know - not a bit of subtlety to any of them.

If a guy shows me respect and is intelligent and has more to offer than "you want to see my pee-pee?", then I'm open to being friends.

And where was Hugh Grant years ago when he picked up that crossdressing hooker in Hollywood and got busted? If he had knocked on my door that night, I wouldn't have had a prudish bone in my body and his agent wouldn't have needed to bail him out of jail (lol).

[Robin414]

I hear yah Sandie! I HATE to be a HATER but, I'll just stop there 😕

[flatlander_48]

If he had knocked on my door that night, I wouldn't have had a prudish bone in my body and his agent wouldn't have needed to bail him out of jail (lol).

Works for me...

DeeAnn

[ReineD]

I keep blocking those who post TG porn or proposition me, but is it my imagination or is our community really filled with that many sexual perverts? That doesn't seem to be the fact on this forum - so, what's the deal on Facebook?

They're not perverts, it's just sexual for them. You don't see it in this forum because of the strict rules against explicit sexual topics. I rather think the sexual nature of the CDing is the norm. Do a Google search for CDing ... you might find a handful of websites including this one that are not sexual, but there are millions of websites that are.

[Sandie70]

Reine, I have no problem with those who stretch the boundaries of sex. Porn is cool... when you are ready for it. And I believe that if what you're doing does no harm to anyone, then go for it.

However, to immediately make sexual advances or send porn to someone you don't know (and has a website or page that is obviously more on the fun side and even warns that this type of behavior is not welcome on that page) then you have stepped over the line. No means no. And even though I support a persons right to let their freak flag fly, you don't have the right to shove it in my face when it's not welcome.

If you have a crossdresser page or website with dirty pictures of penises, fine. Just be sensitive enough not to pull it out where and when it's not welcome.

[docrobbysherry]

That only happens if u post risque pics like I do.:o

Or, if you're really cute. :devil:

[AbigailJordan]

You are inviting this sort of response by posting as a crossdresser. It may not be right, but it's reality. Personally, I don't put anything about my "hobby" on Facebook and I only accept friend requests from people I know or friends of people I know.

I'm not sure that's entirely true.. it's thinking along the same lines that women who dress provocatively are inviting some kind of sexual advance. Just because we choose to have a social networking presence for our femme side that isn't necessarily connected to our regular profile. I hear that you say it's not right, and yet your opening line clearly places the responsibility on us for posting as a CD.


As for this site being safe, it's a safe as you make it. Don't use your real name, don't post your town or city, don't post personal details and don't show your face and it's pretty safe. Ignore the above and you might be in trouble in various ways. Of course, it also depends on your level of stealth. If you normally walk around your neighborhood and town dressed as a female but with no attempt to disguise yourself, you're already out and you don't need to worry too much about the Internet.

Obviously nobody should post personal details on here, but as for the not showing your face part, I don't see that as an issue. Had a pic on here long before I came out in my local town. After all, the only people who are going to "discover" your dressing from a pic on here are people already looking at a crossdressing forum for some reason. Yes there is the maintenance of reasonable internet privacy, there is also irrational paranoia about being outed.. sadly the line between them is often blurred but fortunately it's location varies from person to person.

I guess it all depends how far out into the world you wish to push yourself.. for some of us it's behind closed doors.. for others it's out and about.. but lilke anyone else in this world, we should still be free to push as far as we want without being subjected to unwanted harassment/abuse/attention.

[Stephanie47]

What's Facebook?

Just kidding! I do not subscribe to any social media. Frankly, if a cross dresser is going to use the Internet to educate a wife or girl friend about cross dressing, I suggest the cross dresser guide her to sites such as this one. Unless there is a parental block on the computer (assuming it works) the pictures of cross dressers is not pretty.

And, this is not limited to cross dressers. I looked at my granddaughter's (14) Instagram account/postings. I asked her parents if they knew she had 415 followers. Heck, she does not know 415 people. I'm sure there are many perverts looking at her picture and .....you can figure it out.

[Tina_gm]

All the sexual porn and related stuff to CDing.... and we wonder why wives, gf's or just friends and family in general are uncomfortable with it all. There is a reason why we are on this site as opposed to other sites, because for many of us on here, we are not looking for all the sexual stuff. (not judging anyone who is) but we come here for more than that. We come here for real life issues and challenges and acceptance. What is it, conservatively 500,000 people in the U.S. alone are trans? probably more.... how many are on sites like this? Unfortunately there is a large sexual element to this... not necessarily from those who are tg, there are likely more admirers of trans people than there are trans people.

[ReineD]

However, to immediately make sexual advances or send porn to someone you don't know (and has a website or page that is obviously more on the fun side and even warns that this type of behavior is not welcome on that page) then you have stepped over the line.

I agree with you, but honestly I think that a huge chunk of CDers (re the millions of racy website results on Google) take it for granted that it is sexual and they assume this must be so for every other CDer. Right? People have a hard time imagining that anyone could be different from themselves.

If you are getting so many unwanted advances, I think this indicates the norms of what is out there. Only a few hundred CDers post regularly in this forum compared to hundreds of thousands of CDers there must be in the US alone. A lot of them join (there are a few thousand people who have logged in during the past few months), but then they move on and rarely post, I assume because their cup of tea is more on the sexual side.

[Katey888]

IS CD.com really "clean"?

We are as close as one can get to the Clorox or Domestos of the CD fora universe! :) But no public forum is completely free of this aspect of life... Sex is one of those inexorables of the human condition...

I think here, we're more CDs that push the TG end of things a fair bit - not everyone here, I know - but we are a tiny minority in a CD world that majors in sexual and fetish activities... which is why the vanilla world often equates CDing with something more sexual. It's a toughie - but another jolly good reason why we should all be happier about being under that big ole TG umbrella that conveys a degree of respectability around why we do this if the 'why' is rooted in a need for expression and presentation that has its foundation in our gender identity (without implying that all of us are dysphoric, 'coz we're not. :)) - education is key!

I'm not often up for defending FB (Spawn of :devil:!) - but it's just a tool: it's the people that use it that are the issue...

Now - I feel honour bound to address this:


And where was Hugh Grant years ago when he picked up that crossdressing hooker in Hollywood and got busted? If he had knocked on my door that night, I wouldn't have had a prudish bone in my body and his agent wouldn't have needed to bail him out of jail (lol).

Not that there would be anything morally wrong with Hugh, but the 'lady-of-the-night' in question (Divine Brown) was in fact a GG - happy to now refer to her trick that earned her $1m... (2010 Daily Mail article here (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1306866/As-Hugh-Grant-hits-50-track-Divine-Brown--LA-hooker-wrecked-image-lost-Liz-Hurley.html)) I think I might even consider shagging Hugh for $1m, dressed or not... 'course, he is getting on a tad now (but so am I...) :thinking:


I am NEVER EVER bothered, because those people cant find me..or maybe I'm just ugly...

Adriana... you're way too cute... those people are just plain SCARED of you.. ;)

Katey x

[Sandie70]

You're right Katey. I must have gotten this mixed up with an incident with Eddie Murphy, who in actuality got into a little bit of a mess with what the press called a "transvestite hooker."

But the part about Hugh knocking on my door still holds (lol).

Oh, and I do understand there is a wide range of sexual flavors out there and, again, I'm OK with whatever people want to do as long as no harm comes to someone, but this thread was about the worst of the worse... like one crossdresser whose first message to me was "do you like little boys? I do."

If that's not a pervert, I don't know what is.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sandie, I stay as far away from Face Book as I can.:daydreaming:

[Beverley Sims]

This is as close as I get to ANY social media.

[NicoleScott]

I know. I hate that law that requires us to maintain a FB account for our crossdresser identities.
Oh wait. There is no such law.

[Amanda M]

Sandie - your remark about little boys turned my stomach. I am widely tolerand of whatever churns your butter, but paedophilia? I would gladly give the injection!

[Confucius]

There is a presumption in society that crossdressers have a higher prevalence of various sexual addictions. I have no idea what accounts for this presumption, however I find it even in scientific literature.

Personally, my sex drive is pretty low, and I cannot imagine why people think that crossdressers are supposed to have hypersexual disorders.

[Amy Fakley]

Because ...

We hide, and freak out when discovered. We're so terrified of the world that we seek out places where we think we'll avoid confrontation ... like closed shopping malls, late night walks down abandoned streets, and of course ... Gay bars (let's face it, shady hookups are a thing that happen in places like those).

So we act like we're up to no good, and the world is happy to presume that's what's up.

There's that, but then there's also (apparently) just a metric butt ton of straight dudes who are way into fantasizing about sex with people like us. I mean someone is buying all that t-girl porn, and there is a mountain of it out there.

And then there's "drag race" on tv, and you have these queens acting exactly like loud mouthed, sarcastic porn stars ..

And so yeah, if you don't know someone trans in real life. And you just surf along with what you manage to randomly bump into in the culture ... it's easy to see how everyone thinks we're perverts.

I think at least the pop tv stuff is changing. The porn thing never will ... lol ...as long as there are paying customers into it, it's gonna get made and put out there.

[MelanieAnne]

I don't care for the FB rules if you read the small print you don't just walk away and delete everything, they have rights to use pics or text anyway they choose, you even leave a footprint when visiting !

I had a Facebook account under a different name. Recently I was locked out of Facebook, and they wanted me to provide a phone number to verify my identity. No idea what's up with that. I didn't do it. They want too much information. Has anyone else been asked to provide a phone number for their account?

[AllieSF]

I am not on any social media site besides this one, which is a support forum. However, both my Yahoo and Hotmail email accounts have asked for phone numbers. So far they do not demand it, they just recommend and request one to help them contact me if there is a problem with my account. They have already asked and then required backup alternative email addresses to do that. They just want to better identify us more accurately for all their marketing activities and to be able to associate any other on line activities, including purchases and probably even membership on this site, with our correct personal data.

[MelanieAnne]

Ummm, OK, thanks. I don't want my whole life linked together on one site. But currently, I can't even look at Facebook sites, even municipal or commercial sites. They won't even let me look at Facebook without providing a phone number.

[Amelie]

I need some advice, I have been on facebook for quite some time and I never get a pervert or anyone strange for that matter contacting me. I have the same 40 or so friends I started out with, mostly people from my past. I kinda like a pervert or two contacting me,, it would be so nice to be wanted.

[LexiNexi]

That's exactly why I don't FB.
Joni

+1 plus one