Difference in acceptance

[Angela Marie]

A few days ago I started a thread regarding my increasing feminization. Over the past several weeks, even when in drab, i have let my female side flow freely. My perception is that women; old, young, in between feel much less threatened than men and I am treated much more cordially. I'm not saying that men are mean or rude to me. But there is an a wariness about them that I don't perceive in most women. Clearly this does not hold true across the board but I think generally speaking its a fair assessment. Any thoughts on this?

[sometimes_miss]

Men are afraid of 'catching' whatever it is that makes you want to be feminine. They're also afraid of being guilty of femininity by association with any guy who indulges in it. Say what you will about it, but one thing I've learned by being a crossdresser is that they have a valid concern, especially if they're single. Any suspician that a guy might not be 'all man', anything that might bring into question his masculinity can easily kill off any attraction a woman has for him. And once that's gone, it's probably not coming back.

[Sandie70]

It's interesting, the use of the word "catching." I sometimes think the fear of appearing gay or feminine is what men "catch." And I suspect that the more they fear being around those like us, the more likely it is that they harbor secret yearnings to be like us. (Look at how many rabidly homophobic politicians have been caught recently "batting for the other team") At the same time I know many GG's that seem to have the same fear that men have about this - not fear of gay men or crossdressers (goodness sake, women seem to love us - I think this is why we perceive women to be less threatened by us than men), but rather, fear of lesbians - like that is catching as well.

All of this, I believe, is taught to us at a very early age - fear, rudeness and intolerance. It is a virus our parents and caregivers infect us with, and some us never recover from it.

[Sarah-RT]

Any suspician that a guy might not be 'all man', anything that might bring into question his masculinity can easily kill off any attraction a woman has for him. And once that's gone, it's probably not coming back.

I have that concern, out and about in an lgbt bar, fine, hardly looking to pick up women there, especially when dressed but when im back home in normal mode I fear that im making myself ''a lame duck'' as they say but Ive certainly noticed that women warm up a little quicker when they feel your not looking to come on to them which is hard to accomplish when your in male, single and straight mode unless they are already in a relationship

Sarah x

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of women are okay with it as long as it's NIMBY(not in my back yard) then, sometimes the rules change. :)

[carhill2mn]

My theory is that many men feel uncomfortable as they really do not know how to deal with feelings or talk about anything other than work or sports. There is also the "latent gay" theory.

[Angela Marie]

My theory is that many men feel uncomfortable as they really do not know how to deal with feelings or talk about anything other than work or sports. There is also the "latent gay" theory.

I think you are spot on with that observation

[kimdl93]

I feel the same way, but I have to admit, it's reciprocal. I tend to avoid contact with men, although I can't say I've had any bad experiences.

[Nadine Spirit]

.... is that they have a valid concern, especially if they're single. Any suspician that a guy might not be 'all man', anything that might bring into question his masculinity can easily kill off any attraction a woman has for him. And once that's gone, it's probably not coming back.

Maybe you should tell the ladies that like me and know about my gender variances about your theory.

After reading so many of your posts, which directly conflict with my experiences, I think you are blaming cross dressing for issues within you that others do not find attractive. Maybe you should stop blaming cross dressing for your woes.



My theory is that many men feel uncomfortable as they really do not know how to deal with feelings or talk about anything other than work or sports. There is also the "latent gay" theory.

I agree with these thoughts for the most part. But I have found lots of exceptions

[TrishaTX]

I'll give my two cents. I am a guy 98% of the time and love to crossdress. I also play softball, basketball and work in a male dominated industry. I could not come out of the closet and survive. My wife knows but noone else except my therapist.
Guys fear anything that seems like weakness. We are taught not to cry, touch or have feelings. It is hard to break. When you mention gay, crossdressing or the like, they become uncomfortable. The funny part is is most men carried some of our feelings, they would connect better with women. Understanding, empathy, compassion ...all are good skills for marriage and being with a women....unfortunately we call these weaknesses. A little crossgendering goes a long way:)

[Jenniferathome]

... anything that might bring into question his masculinity can easily kill off any attraction a woman has for him. And once that's gone, it's probably not coming back.

Really? Is this really your answer? So all woman just want the Marlboro Man? I don't think so. They want fun, comfort, trust, basic compatibility. Every woman has a different definition as to what all of that is.

[DanaR]

............................ My perception is that women; old, young, in between feel much less threatened than men and I am treated much more cordially. ....................
I agree.

A number of years ago, while at an Esprit Conference in Port Angeles, Wa., I was out with some of the local GG's that I had been friends with for a long time. They would take me to some of the local bars that they went to. This one night, one of their female friends that I just had met, was talking to me with her arm around me and her husband came up; which she quickly introduced us. He had this smirk on his face while he was looking at me, after looking at him for a couple of minutes I mentioned to them that most people think we are gay, then I told them that I was into to women, his face suddenly changed to a look of panic; which would have been a real a couple of Kodak minutes as a before and after.

[Angela Marie]

I do find it hilarious when people, men or women, realize i'm heterosexual. "Really? You're kidding right" LOL. Sometimes you've just got to laugh and roll with it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela, The men are afraid that they might become un machoed.:daydreaming:

[Beverley Sims]

Men are more wary of someone a little "different", women on the other hand seem more curious.

[Jennifer0874]

I've also been nervous around men when dressed. But you really can't avoid them if you're going to leave the house. I've never had an incident with men while out, but the men seem a bit more threatening from a physical aspect.

I reality, I only really ever had an issue with a woman. I ran into a Victoria's Secret once and a woman in line behind me started laughing and asking if I found everything I needed. I really wasn't bothered