How to approach CD/TV person regularly seen at Trafford Centre, Manchester UK?

[silkycdresser]

For a while I've been yearning to find a CD/TV/TG friend to share my triumphs, concerns and stories with in the local area. Not having been able to find any groups to meet up with, I do keep noticing someone at my local shopping centre mall who is either very passable or is or has transitioned. I'm good at striking up conversations with strangers but this person appears slightly self-conscious and I don't want to startle them. Any ideas?

[Amy Lynn3]

You may want to ask yourself a few questions. How do you feel about walking up to a gg and asking her about her cloths ? You may get a polite answer or considered a pervert. How would you feel if a gg walked up to you and said I see you are wearing a bra under your shirt ? One never knows how others will respond, but if you think you can pull it off....go for it.
I might recommend you contact other members on this site, who live in the area you do and see if they are like minded on meeting. That has worked well for me in the past.
Have you posted in our meet-up section on this site yet and see if that might be a help? That also has worked for me. I even found out a group from this site meet on a regular basis, near me.:2c:

[Heelios]

I'd say be wary because you don't want to freak them out. I suppose it depends how you approach it - reading other similar posts on here suggests that some girls don't want to be outed or have the fact they are a man pointed out when in public. Have a look through the other posts and you'll see what I mean.

FYI - search for Manchester concorde online. It's a weekly crossdressers gathering in the village. I've never been because I am not ready for any of that just yet but it might be up your street. They seem like a friendly bunch...

[Roli F]

Manchester Concord has a changing room upstairs so you can arrive in drab and leave in drab.
has good car parking 5 minute walk (Charles Street 2£ from after 4 pm til midnight) the Village is very friendly towards us
I am a member and glad it exists.
and we will chaperone newbies out and about happily

[Katey888]

Silky - just as an example I would be totally freaked if someone vanilla approached me in any sort of way while dressed... it could get bloody... :eek:

Go the route of local support groups and venues if you want to meet folk - you have the virtual UK capital of all things TG on your doorstep, there is bound to be someone who will want to share similar socialising, and you can do it without fear of embarrassment or arrest. :)

Katey x

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Silky,
I'm not sure why there is this theory that people don't want to be bothered when
out and about. What harm can be done by introducing yourself to this person?
For all you know they may be out looking to make a friend themselves.
You could just casually walk up to her and say "hello my name is Silky, would you mind
talking to me for a bit?" And if she doesn't put her fists up, or run away, explain your situation
to her.
Who knows? She might really admire your courage to approach her and reveal your CDing to her.
( just be prepared to run, I've been wrong before! )
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Tracii G]

Hell on heels you know that makes perfect sense.
By introducing yourself by your femme name might be all it takes to get a conversation started.

[Hell on Heels]

If this person regularly out and about, they are either over, or working on getting over their own
fear of being out in public. Your approaching them will either be no big deal to them, or it can only
help them.
Traci, a simple hello can start a conversation. But asking them a simple question "can we talk?"
makes it difficult for them to just say "hi" and keep walking away.

[Tonya Rose]

I totally agree with Kristyn on this!!!

[Lorileah]

is or has transitioned means...no don't try and talk to them. You out a TS and you will be very unhappy with most of what happens after that.

Now, if you are wanting to meet Ts, find a local LGBT bar or meeting. Approaching anyone in a mall or shopping area would not be a good idea, especially if you're looking for friends

let me restate this....would you walk up to anyone in public and say "Hey! I dress too!" no....no...no. I don't know you, I have no idea who you are, I don't really want to know you or we would be somewhere we would meet with people we know mutually....no...no ...no I don't care how comfortable someone is, I don't care if they are working on confidence (look how many on this site only want to BLEND and you walk over and start saying you're a t too?). Bad bad idea.


Let us know how it works out for you

[DanaR]

I wouldn't have a problem with someone talking to me, but I wouldn't be very receptive to meeting someone like that and them hoping to become friends. I might be overly cautious, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

[AngelaYVR]

If I was approached by another CD then I would be very open to talking to them. If I was approached by a man telling me he was also a CD then I would smile and make a polite exit.

[Heelios]

I find it interesting that there are 2 opposing points of view on this. It seems to me that it depends on how comfortable said cd is, where they are generally within the cd/tg/ts spectrum etc etc and the only way you'll know is by talking to them.

So I do think it is how you approach it. Perhaps go in with something innocent like "do you have the time" or "excuse me, you don't know which end the debanhams is - I can never remember!?" Something you can test their responses to public conversation with without blurting out "oh my gods! I'm a cd too!!" and potential offending them or hurting their feelings. Once you've established how comfortable they are talking to you then decide if/how to proceed with further conversation.

Best of both worlds, I think?

[Helen_Highwater]

Manchester Concord has a changing room upstairs so you can arrive in drab and leave in drab.
has good car parking 5 minute walk (Charles Street 2£ from after 4 pm til midnight) the Village is very friendly towards us
I am a member and glad it exists.
and we will chaperone newbies out and about happily

Silky.

Here's the URL for the Concorde;
http://www.manchesterconcord.org.uk/

Rather than risk freaking out a total stranger in a public place, if you really do want to meet up with kindred spirits then this is the far better option. People will be expecting to meet and talk. You'll have all evening to discuss anything that you want to, perhaps even dine in the restaurant if your confidence allows. I've never been to the Concorde but if things work out as I hope, I'll be attending later in the year. So who knows, if you become a regular?....

[Krisi]

I would be very uncomfortable if I was walking down the street as Krisi and someone came up to me and started a conversation about crossdressing and I think I' with the majority of crossdressers on that point, at least ones trying to pass. Crossdressers who want to meet other crossdressers will be going to crossdresser clubs or advertising on-line or in papers. Crossdressers who are in public alone want to remain alone.

[Beverley Sims]

One word, don't.

Let them notice you and make the first move if they wish.

[jjjjohanne]

Try, "Ma'am, where did you get that xxxxx? It is SO pretty."

[Alexis08]

I wouldn't be freaked out if a fellow CD approached me. I'm simply a proud crossdresser.

But there is a risk that she is TS and doesn't want to be outed.

[Marcelle]

Hi Silky,

As many have replied, not generally a good idea. But the one thing which as not been said is how do you know these woman are truly CDers or trans woman. You say they are either passable or have transitioned but, they could very well be woman who might share some more manly characteristics. I find we (the community writ large) want so much to find kindred spirits out in the Vanilla world that we see TG folks everywhere. The point is that some women can look quite masculine and some men can look quite feminine. If you go up and introduce yourself to a woman as a fellow CDer . . . well just saying . . . she is liable to take great offence where none was truly meant. My two cents.

Cheers

Isha