My next steps

[Josieone]

Well here I go.

I have a loving supporting wife.
She wants me to be who I am and wants me to accept myself for who I am.
Question is who am I?
Why is it so hard to accept myself?
What do I want?
I know I just want to pass and be the Josie I feel inside!
How do I get there?
But I have a loving and supportive wife I want to protect.
I care what she thinks and feels.
I care what she is wiling to put up with.
How do I do all with being who I want to be?
Am fighting something that I should just accept.
Why is it so hard?
But I have a supporting wife.
What more can I ask for?
I just need to accept who or what I feeli am.
Why is it so hard to do so.

Sorry if I came across as annoying.

But what is my next step?

[AllieSF]

How about gender therapy as the next step? That will help you sort out things and make whatever decisions you need to make, including just being yourself with no other actions. If your wife joins you from the beginning or later on, that also could help your relationship remain strong and hopefully set up ways to deal with serious issues when they arise. I wish you the best of luck.

[TrishaLake]

I totally agree...therapy in general would help. I go regularly and it is very helpful.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Josie, I truly wish I could give you some answers, but I'm afraid I don't have any. The best I can do is give you encouragement and my ear to listen. I ask myself these same questions, I don't know how many times a day. I do know that I have hidden behind a mask for most of my 55 years and now when I finally let myself be myself I am happy.
For myself I have found a support group close by and the beginning of this next month I am going to go to my first meeting. so we'll see how that goes. I am also going to find a therapist to talk to. I can not tell you if this is the right thing for you or not.
above all though, don't feel embarrassed, ashamed, or like there is something wrong with you. The heart wants, what the heart wants. Just be a good person and find what pleases your soul.
good luck Josie and remember we are here for you.

[Robin414]

That's a tough one for sure and I think I'm headed there myself, it kinda sucks😦 I've seen a therapist three times over the past 10 mo and so not sure about it personally but I think it can help

[Josieone]

Thanks all for the great advice.i will look more in to it.

[DanaR]

This forum offers a lot of good information and as was mentioned, you might look into some therapy. You might also check out any local groups, where you will find others that you might be able to relate to. There are conventions around the country (you didn't mention where you live), at least in the U.S. where there is a lot of information available as well. Interacting with others will give you some insight. You need to find a place where you are comfortable with yourself. Don't forget your family and last, don't run if you are on the wrong road.