publicity

[pamela7]

Hi Gurls,

I have a question, bit of a doozy politically maybe, so here we go, honest responses please.

I came out to a friend who writes a lot of newspaper articles last week, at her local pub, where the guys were apparently impressed with my "devil-may-care" attitude and lack of concern as to what others think. So she suggested a newspaper article about the CD impact in our lives, from my SO's perspective, there's a BIG national newspaper wanting to do the story/publish. Do we or don't we?

Second to this, more importantly, is the idea of a sponsored charity event where guys go to charity shops to buy to a budget to then crossdress - a charity awareness event allowing the wider male population to engage in CD. I've noticed many men do given the chance (stag, rubgy do's). Is this the chance to really out and grow awareness or something to bring disrepute/wrong message?

2 questions in one, but given the Jenner situation should we go for it?

thanks for your responses!!

[Kate Simmons]

I would say it would have to be a personal decision and if we think we could handle any resulting feedback. :)

[Krisi]

As for the newspaper article, it's up to you and your "SO". You may be for it but if the SO isn't, she (he) shouldn't be forced to do it.

As for an event to allow men to buy clothing and cross dress, we can already do that. Are you trying to get some recruits? Think that having more crossdressers around will gain acceptance?

[AllieSF]

If you are willing to be totally out with your wife and enjoy all the benefits and the negative consequences, by all means do it, part 1 of your question. Remember that media publications are there to make money. Even a human interest story can turn out bad. However, I still like the idea if you are up to it.

Part 2 seems harder to accomplish, i.e. getting a lot of closet dressers out in the open. Many may participate if it was a private affair where they could keep their anonymity secure. To get non-transgender (umbrella term including CD's) males to participate in a charity event may work and may bring some positive longer term benefits to this closeted part of society. But, closeted dressers may not join in the fun and opportunity for fear of being outed. Another side to an event like this is the fun part. Guys dressing up as women with no real interest in doing this more often, thus making it a humorous versus more serious occasion. I wouldn't mind the humor, but many here would consider it an insult to who they are and what they do.

[Belle Cri]

Oh...and I'm probably being bad for saying this, but from my perspective, if something goes awry with the reporting and you or your SO are reputationally injured in any way, it is much more difficult and expensive in the UK to enforce against the press, particularly with the standing rule on legal costs there.

While I applaud the sentiment greatly, I shouldn't trust in the integrity of the tabloid press. Perhaps, maybe, possibly if it were the Times or a very reputable masthead.

On the charity event - perhaps. I have to say I misread the original question so I've come back and edited. I could see a disrepute issue there if it were widely seen as just too, well, apologies for lack of a more sophisticated term, Pythonesque.

[Sandie70]

Once the train leaves the station, be prepared for it to pick up speed and go places you never expected. And it will never return to the original station. With that said, if you and your SO reach a state of mind where you would like to further acceptance of crossdressers in this world... then go for it.

As to sponsoring an event where men can go and dress for charity? If it's done in a spirit of fun and not derisiveness, then it could accomplish a great amount of good. Of course, I would hope that professional mentors in makeup, etc. would be on hand to complete each man's transformation (with wigs, etc.). And I would hope that the men involved would not make their dressing a joke (beards and hairy legs showing in a dress)... that could end up being a travesty and do more harm to crossdressing than good.

With that said, however, I would be fascinated to see rough and tumble guys turned into beautiful women - maybe at the encouragement of their SO's or friends? I would wonder if deep down inside, if guys who never thought about it before, were able to view themselves as a pretty gurl... maybe some attitudes could be changed for good.

The world becomes a better place one step at a time.

[AngelaYVR]

If you've completely thought through #1 then yes, sounds fun if you can live with the after effects.
#2 brings to mind some charity event I heard of where all the men wore heels. Actually, according to the google it is relatively common. If the charity was for something specifically woman related then the idea might fly. Don't expect a huge turnout, though.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, I am now so far "out' that such a thing could be asked of me. Would I do it? It would come down to how far I trusted the writer and their newspaper/magazine. I have heard of more than a few horror stories where the initial suggestion sounded very positive, only to have the pictures/interview/viewpoints/reasons being cherry picked and twisted to make the whole story into a massively negative event. Outright lying and fiction sometimes. If I could be reassured, and the SO was OK with it, then yeah. I am not into crossdressing as such, just some clothing choices from across the aisle, but there is also the discussion on what makes for masculine and feminine, and why we care. If they were interested in such an article, and I trusted them to do it right, and not go for laughs, then I would be somewhat enthusiastic. Nervous as hell, but definitely for it. I would try to work in some discussion as to the larger world of crossdressing, and I would take pains to make it understood that what I am is not a TS, and that I wasn't speaking for them, and it should be a separate, but perhaps linked subject. A TS reading such an article could well be rightly upset if there was any suggestion that it was the same thing. There is some... connection, but one does not presuppose the other. A TS customer I deal with on a semi regular basis was quite happy to see me usually, but has seemed to have withdrawn since seeing me in a skirt. That could be for any number of reasons, but I fear it's because she thinks that my treatment of her was somehow because of my clothing choices. It wasn't, directly, but it has made me step back and consider other viewpoints.

The second suggestion, the charity dressing event, has definite possibilities, some good, many more ranging from bad to outright disaster. If it went ahead, there would have to be some far ranging and thoughtful planning involved. Even then, I could see it getting out of control, and copycat or later events getting twisted away from it's intended purpose. At a minimum, there would have to some pretty forceful disclaimers about how this was not meant to speak for all aspects and orientations, and the intention is to foster inclusion and acceptance. It's guaranteed you'll get someone upset.

[Katie01]

I think it is easy to underestimate the power of the mass media. It can be overwhelming and impossible to control once started. On the other hand it can be a very very powerful tool to inform, educate and even enlighten huge groups of people. I think earlier comments are wise: vet the writer/publication. It also goes without saying that you should consider the impacts on your friends and family as well.

Your fundraising idea sounds like fun. I wouldn't have high expectations on changing people's minds though, unless you marketed it as a CD awareness event.

[reb.femme]

If both of you can handle the situation, as per the Doctor Pepper advert, what's the worst that can happen?

Personally, as above, I wouldn't trust the press for the kind of publicity you may believe is on offer. I was quoted in a local paper many years ago after a Coroner's investigation into a suicide. The quote made me sound very Shakespearean and were certainly not the words uttered from my lips. Foresooth me wonders much to their motives? :heehee:

Rebecca

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pam, Be careful, If all the men start crossdressing then it will not be fun anymore.:daydreaming:

[pamela7]

All good advice so far, in fact far more positive than I envisaged! Thank you.

It is no small decision, such a thing is a Rubicon, with no going back. Welshgirl would have to warn her parents, who do NOT know anything about this "habit" yet, in case they found out from someone else, and there's no way something so big ever goes away.

The idea of the charitable event though, I feel while fraught with possible dangers, could be a fantastic opportunity to continue and grow exposure and growing normality of CD. I feel we are literally cracking an egg here, a breakthrough in male dress, which might make us less "special" perhaps, but also make us mainstream, no little thanks to "you know who". I reckon it might be harder for politicians to keep warring if they're in dresses!

[kimdl93]

Is it fair to say that you're pretty much out there already? If so, then perhaps this isn't a bad opportunity. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who was seeking to maintain a cover.

[Alice Torn]

Seventeen years ago, I wrote a letter to the editor, about the plight of lonely aging men. The editor of the pater called me, and asked to meet me. He wrote an article in the paper about me, a lifetime virgin bachelor. He got some calls from women interestedin talking with me, but none were interested after talking with me. I was not actively crossdressing then. I thought there would be far bigger response, but very little. I guess not that many people read newspapers anymore. If the SO, approves, i say, go for it, but don't tell too much.

[Badwolf]

I'm more focused on the charity event part, I have thought about it quite a bit, and I think it could be a mixed bag. For a while it will further awareness and comfort about seeing it done, but on the other side there will be some farcical aspects to the way it's presented. People will make lots of jokes about it as they post it on social media.

In the end I think that having someone proud on the top levels of the organization helping direct it would help, and in the end the fact that it's for charity will always place it in a much more positive light than lets say doing it at a stag party in a foreign country (ran across one once where the guys did all dress up). The city hated most english speakers and I think it was because of the volume of stag parties that were running through it on a regular basis.

[docrobbysherry]

Pam, judging by my experience of appearing in an apparently obscure video that aired in the UK? Which definitely opened Pandora's box even in the USA, I would suggest the following:

Do it.
Do not let them use your real names, addresses, etc.
Do not let them show identifiable frontal photos of either of u.

[JamieG]

Do it.
Do not let them use your real names, addresses, etc.
Do not let them show identifiable frontal photos of either of u.

Unless you are already out to all family, friends, coworkers, and business partners, I agree with what Doc said.

As for the charity event, I don't quite get it. How does this raise the money? Normally, people attend womanless events and pay for the entertainment value. Men participate because they believe in the cause, like being the center of attention, have been guilted/dared into by someone, or (least likely of all) like to dress. I think the biggest danger is that you might have men who make a mockery of the whole thing (enormous fake tatas, unshaven faces, beer bellies in belly shirts, etc.).

[heatherdress]

Pamela - I am inclined to be more skeptical of the results of being part of a national newspaper's feature story. You and your SO will have absolutely no control over how you are depicted in their story. The story may be inaccurate, incomplete, embarrassing. Why would you want to do this?

As far as the charity, I would support any fundraising for a good cause - but what is the cause? I also don't know what would motivate men who do not crossdress to participate - unless the cause is compelling. The resulting event, if it occurs, might also have a negative impact on public opinion as mentioned by Jamie. This seems like an event only a crossdresser would be interested in.

[Krisi]

I believe the charity event thing has already been done a few times. I recall something about walking in heels.

An event where men dress as women sounds a bit like dressing for Halloween. If you do a good job, people will know this is not your first time. I would love a good reason (excuse) to go out as Krisi but it would be no fun at all if I couldn't go all the way.

[pamela7]

the charity i considered is the beaumont trust, the uk one catering to transgender.