missed opportunity

[kinkyboots]

A few weeks ago i had a two week span to have fun and dress up as the kids were over at the inlaws at the time. I also had 5 or 6 hour blocks where my wife was out of the house (even though she says she doesn't care, i can tell she does a bit).

But i didn't dress one bit. Just wasn't in the mood what so ever, and it's been nearly a year since the last time.

Flash forward 2 weeks; now it's the only thing i can think of, with no opportunities in sight.

This has happened off and on in the last year, conveniently never lining up with free time.

I kick myself for not taking the opportunity when it presented itself, but when I'm not in the mood i just feel silly and get nothing out of it.

Anyone else run into these issues?

[Krisi]

I can (and do) dress around my wife so no regrets there. Occasionally, she will go out of town for a few days and that is my opportunity to go out (away from home) in public. I have to underdress and finish dressing away from home so it's a pain and I sometimes don't bother and then regret it later. Today is an example. Of course the heat index today is over one hundred degrees so that enters into it as well.

Just like golfing, fishing or any other hobby, there are times when it excites us and times when it doesn't. It's normal.

[Alice_2014_B]

I have my ups and downs.
Sometimes I'll have a few hours to myself but I will just not be in the mood for it.
This past Monday, however, I jumped on the chance; it was the first time in about three months. Might go out on the town en femme with the wife tomorrow night.
:)

[pamela7]

there's a couple of possible patterns: 1. Tantalus, 2. wanting it with more than just yourself - wife/others/time to out?

[Belle Cri]

I'll do the same thing until I get so tired of feeling frumpy I head for the platforms. This time of year I hate fishing in the day, meh. No big deal - I'd be really careful of possibly squelching over disapproval issues. That, if unaddressed, would seem to be the more important missed opportunity to be corrected as soon as possible, but as we all know, that is so much easier said than done.

[Alice Torn]

Boots, i can relate. I have had Tuesday nights where i could drive 40 miles to an outdoor band concert, but i went once underdressed, but hsave not felt up to going outwardly dressed. Chickening out, or too tired. Missed opportunities. I hope to make one concert, before their season ends. Sometimes, our gut feeling just is not up to the work of it all!

[Sallee]

I have had that happen more than once. A few weeks ago I started to dress got all the way and started to apply makeup. From the start I just wasn't feeling like it but was forcing myself to because the opportunity was there. I sat at the mirror for a bit and decided to change back and get on with my day. Just wasn't in the mood, It wasn't fun so why continue That is not to say it won't be fun next time. To me it is all about having fun and enjoying yourself

[Samantha2015]

What's that saying "Its a women's prerogative to change her mind"
Many times I thought, would I like to dress ? Yes. Do I feel like doing it ? No.
Male laziness wins out sometimes. :sad:

[Sandie70]

"Procrastination, thy name is crossdresser." Or kind of. I often decide to get ready to dress and go out, only to balk at the time and effort and order a pizza and turn on Netflix instead. Then, after suffering the guilt of eating so many carbs and wallowing in my recliner for several hours, I resolve to do better next time.

I know that if I organized my clothes better, learned how to speed up my makeup routine and generally streamlined my dressing, I would be more likely not to take a pass so often.

But Kinky, you are not alone. If missed opportunities were money, we might all be millionaires by now.

[Katey888]

Male laziness wins out sometimes. :sad:

Oh dear... sometimes this afflicts me too... :bonk:

But in defence of the OP, it's not always pure laziness (personally I do have a healthy vein of 100% indolence that gets tapped on occasion... ;)) sometimes the feeling just isn't there...

I think it's normal for the Crossdresser Type IV, cat.II, multi-faceted, semi-closeted, part-time, male-identified....

Different for the cat.IIIs, obviously.... :lol:

Don't sweat it - when it's right it will feel right...

Katey x

[ChubbyLeahCD]

A few weeks ago i had a two week span to have fun and dress up as the kids were over at the inlaws at the time. I also had 5 or 6 hour blocks where my wife was out of the house (even though she says she doesn't care, i can tell she does a bit).

But i didn't dress one bit. Just wasn't in the mood what so ever, and it's been nearly a year since the last time.

Flash forward 2 weeks; now it's the only thing i can think of, with no opportunities in sight.

This has happened off and on in the last year, conveniently never lining up with free time.

I kick myself for not taking the opportunity when it presented itself, but when I'm not in the mood i just feel silly and get nothing out of it.

Anyone else run into these issues?

All the time! I see an opportunity like yours or a trip and think, oooh Leah is coming to play and nothing!
Haaaate it!

[joanna4]

I've experienced similar issues. Not being in the mood when presented the opportunity only to greatly regret it. I try convincing myself after that I should take the opportunity next time I'm given a chance(because life is short and you have to make the most of it) while reassuring myself that the missed opportunity was ok with particular reasons such as; not having sufficient time anyway, terrible weather, more important things to take care of, etc.

[Ilsa]

:doll:And then begs the question? When you're fully dressed, makeup and all and you've had your night out or exhilarating experience do you sometimes become to lazy to take everything off or are you so satisfied with your astonishing beauty that you just don't ever want to take everything off.

As always,

Ilsa

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, absolutely!

When I'm not in the mood for a planned session? I spend the time sorting/organising my fem things. That usually gets me IN the mood!:D

But, if not? I pour a glass of wine and turn on the computer or a game!

When I've been in the mood but the timing wasn't rite? I dressed anyway! Back in the day I had to; in the middle of the nite, in a spare room after my offices closed, even in my car and drove around. I found that as long as I knew I could dress no matter when the mood struck? It stopped striking at inconvenient times!:tongueout

[ReineD]

But i didn't dress one bit. Just wasn't in the mood what so ever, and it's been nearly a year since the last time.

Flash forward 2 weeks; now it's the only thing i can think of, with no opportunities in sight.

You're not alone! :)

When a behavior is forbidden or discouraged (or in your case not ideal when your wife and kids are around), it’s hard not to become intrigued or maybe obsessed with it. “It’s like having an itch we need to scratch.”

You should read this article. It explains it rather well:

http://www.businessinsider.com/why-people-dont-follow-directions-2013-8#ixzz3ge7TVG3P

My own SO found the overall desire or dire need to dress was lessened when he got to the point where he just "knew" that he could dress at will, at any time. This explains why so many of our members nearly go crazy when they are in DADT relationships, to the point where they think they want to go full time.

My SO has a fully accepting partner (me), he got to the point where getting ready to go out took no longer than 45 minutes, which made possible either a morning, afternoon, or evening out when the schedule was tight, he got comfortable with going to places locally although a bit removed from our home town. Just knowing that he could do this whenever he wanted to calmed things down considerably.

I don't know if you go out, but if you could structure your life to have an easy place to change (if your kids are around and you don't want them to see you leave the house dressed), and if you have your wife's understanding and support, I think this would help tremendously. You would no longer be in a "feast or famine" situation.

[Abby Kae]

I'm no psychiatrist, but your story sounds a little like what I think I would experience.

If a tree falls in the forest, ahem, if someone CD's and no one is around to witness it, does she still look gorgeous?

Science says of course she does, but if the people I care about aren't around to validate my efforts, to see me and accept me en femme, I don't think about it over much. I just go on doing whatever things I have to do and don't worry about how I'm presenting.

Obviously, this is difficult to do if one is closeted or forced to hide it, but my drive is to be seen (and accepted), rather than just get dolled up for the sake of getting dolled up.

[Barbara Black]

Same feeling here sometimes. But I find that going through my clothes, even just another inventory, gives my the urge to put them on. I've walked around a few times in heels just because I kept seeing them up on a shelf and I couldn't resist them. (Of course I told myself that I was stretching them out a little for the next time.) LOL

[vallerie lacy]

Such a shame. I think we all have had that experience. There's no telling when the "fog" will roll in.

[Genny B]

This last weekend our college age children both had plans leaving the home to my S.O. and I all alone, but the A.C. went out and it was just too hot... And when the unit was fixed on Tuesday, who also shows up? The kids....

Genny B

[ChristinaK]

Sounds like many of us experience the same problem. Right now I can dress more than ever and find that I'm doing it less. Go figure.

[Chiana]

In the past, I have gone for longer periods without dressing. And I always thought I would loose interest as I got older. But that certainly hasn't been the case. At my age (70), on average, I might not dress 1 night a week.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi KB, I know the feeling as I've been there and done that.:hugs:

Then I can't believe that I didn't take advantage of the chance for an all day session as Orchid.:daydreaming:

[Kirsten1]

I have gone through the same thing. Maybe it is the same as the binge and purge issues. I went to an IXE meeting and met a bunch of ladies. Then I did not dress for a month! Now when I get home I cannot wait to get bra and panties on.

[kinkyboots]

Pamela, you are partially right: i really just want to spend some girly time with the wife.
she is ok and not ok with dressing and makup: she tells me she's working through her own body issues and feeling feminine, and would rather not see me that way currently .
we are not quite a DADT since we joke about it and look at clothes online together and do each other's hair and nails.
At this point in my life i have no wish to go out. I just want to spend time with her in any presentation, it's just not happening yet.

[Angie G]

As far as time go's I dress more then I dont. My wife knows so I don't need to wait for her to be gone to dress. I love being dress so much that I never miss an opportunity.:hugs:
Angie

[MissTee]

I take a break from time to time, and I really enjoy it when I do. I can dress when I want, and the wife is supportive and I dress around her often. I don't feel that because I like to dress that I m-u-s-t dress. I like that I've managed things to a point where the choice is mine and the pink fog doesn't rule me.

[nevarrie]

I wish i could dress more, but I do dress very fem most of the time. I do not wear my skirts and dresses around my boys but I do have girly short and cap sleeved shirts that I wear in the evenings. I do understand that times I do not want to be as girly and I have accepted that there are times it just does not work and I do not feel it. Most of the time I try to when i have the chance and I usually do not regret it but I do regret if I has the chance to did not take it.

For several years I limited my dressing to just underwear but now that my boys are older I dress a little more. I have had a few times that I know I do not have the times to clean of the makeup and everything before I have to pick up the kids so I end up dressing fem without the makeup to just make it easier. I do have to admit the makeup does not do it as much for me as being able to wear a skirt or dress and wear something silky and satiny so if I do not wear the makeup it is not as big of a deal to me. Going out in a sexy top, skinny jeans and a bra on the motorcycle it good for me at time.