Two stories: A month of carrying a purse. A beautiful man en-femme!

[mechamoose]

You all know me. I'm not 'subtle'. My hair is pretty & long now, I have TONS of curls, and my wife is appreciative & jealous.

1)

About a month ago I was in AC Moore and found some really pretty shoulder bags on the cheap. (The ones I liked at TJ Maxx were $100+ after 'discount'!)

In went my wallet, cash, my keys, my phone, a pen, my emergency battery, my nail kit, a comb, barrettes, hair elastics, wipes, my 'loyalty keyfobs' for stores. a shopping list, a calendar.

&#^$&^%

How did I used to do this with pockets?

I have been doing a purse as daily public wear for over a month. It is pink and yellow and purple and geometric. It is soft and pretty and has lots of pockets.

Not a single frack was given that day, or other days.

I'm just shakin' what my Momma gave me....

----

2)

I was deep in 'Theater District' downtown Boston today to help my boy with a project he volunteered for. While passing the time on Boston Common I observed this pretty black woman with blond hair and all kinds of confidence.

She was one of us. She was built like me. NO boobs, NO hips. She wore nice grey slacks, a translucent white top and a white/grey sports bra beneath it. She looked *fierce*. Totally confident, I smiled her way, hoping for the linkup, but I honestly think the chip on her shoulder prevented her from seeing it.

No matter, I was so stoked to see one of ME walking the walk and looking for challengers!

/swoon... pretty girl!

<3

[Nadine Spirit]

I love my red Coach purse and have been wearing it while in male mode for quite a bit. It has caused some raised eyebrows but that is it. I really do wonder how I used to get along without having a purse!

[nevarrie]

I have been carrying a Sherpani Zoe for about a year now. I like that it can easily go from a wallet in my pocket or my purse to a cross body purse and not need to carry anything else.

Most of time my Zoe goes in my iPad bag which is easier for people to accept if I am carrying it is man mode when I can pull the iPad out of it, but I carry it just as much so I do not have to figure out what to do with all the stuff I carry in my cargo pockets when i decide to wear a skirt or a dress, for that matter when I decide to wear my lee jeans that have almost no pocket space.

I have found it is so nice to carry a purse to have everything with me. Even with cargo pants I can not carry as much as i can in a small purse.

[OCCarly]

When I am in casual male mode I usually carry a small Coach messenger bag or man purse, murse, what have you. I haven't stepped up to a femme purse yet, but slowly getting there. The thing is, with having to carry three pair of glasses (drivers, readers, sunreaders) an Ipod, a large smartphone (eyes are not good enough for the smaller ones) a bottle of water for hydration, and other odds and ends, pockets just weren't enough any more.

No one noticed except my receptionist at the office, who complimented me on it.

[Allisa]

Been carrying a purse now for about 6 months now. No big name just a plain old brown tooled leather bag with pockets on the side, cross body style. Wear it every where in guy mode or girl, haven't noticed any looks but then I don't look for reactions anymore. I also use a "womans" wallet were I keep my money and cards, then I have a floral coin "purse" for loose change.

[Tracii G]

I have been using one everyday for about a month just because its practical.
No real looks that I have noticed.
Went to Auto zone to get front disc brake pads for my car and the guy said thank you just take them down to the register so Amy can check you out.
Ok so I walk down with my box lay it and my purse on the counter.Keep in mind I was in 50/50 mode.
She rang me up and I handed her the money.
Got my change and receipt slung my purse on my shoulder and walked out.
No comment of any kind.

[Robin414]

OMG, carrying a purse is one of those things I love about being a girl! I'm not comfortable with one in my usual fluid or sometimes drab modes though, I think it crosses the line for me so only when full femme sadly😕

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Haven't ever thought of a full-on purse, but I have several satchels that I use to haul stuff from my car to my classrooms. I'll have to consider a purse when its time for a rep!acement.

[pamela7]

great story Mecha Moose,

i think from your words, American "purse" = English "handbag", making me wonder what the English purse (female wallet) is in American. It gets confusing believing we share a language (boot/trunk, bonnet/hood etc)!

I've been increasingly using a handbag and a purse instead of pocket and wallet, and I' on the lookout for a better/bigger handbag to fit the growing number of items i just have to have en-femme!

xxx

[Robyn-aus]

I have been using a purse now for two years Get a few comments but who cares I like it

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

We live in a smaller town in the bible belt and love it here but it seems to have more than it's share of old codgers. My wife is always handing me her purse when she is looking through clothing, etc. Sometimes I get some comment about my purse matchin or not, others just stares and a few comments from small kids. Outer clothes are all male and I look like what I am, underneath..... None of anyone's business. The other day was typical, carrying her purse by the strap until I had to grab some things then I slung it over my shoulder in a proper carry. My wife looked at me and said.. You're getting too comfortable carrying a purse. Next store, still have her purse (properly carried) 😁

[Sharon B.]

After reading these threads on carrying a purse in male mood, I am tempted to try it today when I run some errands. I enjoy carrying one when dressed as a woman, never thought about it as a male but it does make sense.

[chris80]

I wandered out y'day in drab with my wife. She did not want to strain her painful shoulder with a handbag and I had no jacket. So I grabbed my black 'manbag' with shoulder strap from the cupboard and walked round all day with her stuff and mine on my shoulder. No adverse comments or odd looks that I noticed. Mind you I used to use this bag daily when working in my medic job as I had so much stuff to carry and I did not wish to stretch my suits any more than they were with my fat. A shoulder bag at least leaves your hands free.

[Charona]

I have carried my wife's purse every so often. If anyone says anything (they sometimes do) I usually say something about it not matching my shoes. I tried carrying a small one (sold as a combination fanny-pack/purse) for a while, and no one said anything. Trouble was, just as women set their purses somewhere and then wonder where they are, so did I. And old habits die hard - I found myself putting stuff back into my pockets instead of the purse. I suppose were I to wear clothing not pocket-equipped, I'd eventually learn.

[kayegirl]

I have carried a shoulder bag for at least two decades now, after my first trip to France, where many men carry bags, and have about 12 to choose from. Got a few negative comments in the early days, but nobody bothers at all now.
Not worried about the name, purse or hand/shoulder bag, just as long as you don't call it a man bag please!!

[mechamoose]

The bag in question:

248292

[Barbara Black]

I'm not very inclined to carry a purse, other than while dressed, but maybe you could claim to be tired of getting your wallet lifted out of your pocket?

[mechamoose]

Nope. I'd be more likely to say something like "I have a lot of stuff, and I have taste".

No excuses needed :)

- MM

[kimdl93]

Interesting encounter. It's hard to say what the other person had on her mind. But, nonetheless, it's nice to see others like ourselves out, and confident in public.

[Ceera]

I recently bought a cross-body shoulder bag. It's fairly unisex in design - plain black, pockets on the outer side for phone and the like, more pockets and dividers inside to keep things organized.

After reading this thread I took everything from my pockets and loaded it up for my trip to the doctor today. I needed to carry my medicine and papers from the prior visits in something anyway, and it will work great!

[Krisi]

I will often hold my wife's purse while she is looking at clothes (for the both of us). I have been with her while she is looking at purses and I will comment "I need a purse." Her reply "You are welcome to borrow one of mine."

I don't carry a purse in male mode except for what I wrote above. Not a lot of men carry purses where I live.

[Eryn]

("Purse" in the following is US usage)

Not very many men carry purses here in SoCal either, but that hasn't stopped me. Years ago I could get away with a wallet and key-ring, but now there's so much more to carry. I tried a canvas briefcase for a while but found that it was just a magnet for junk and ended up weighing 15 pounds. I bought a nylon mini-messenger bag in a beige and purple wide stripe pattern from Timbuk2 and have used it ever since. It fits my femme wallet, phone, makeup/hair/medicine bag, a tablet, keys, etc.

In femme mode I have other purses although like many women I tend to favor one go-to bag that works well with most outfits.

When I first started carrying a purse in male mode I got a couple of comments, but nothing negative. If someone tried to masculinize it with "man bag" or somesuch I'd gently correct them by saying, no, it's a purse!

[Krisi]

Several years ago one of the guys I worked tried too hard to be hip and stylish. He came in one day carrying a purse. When people stated kidding him about it he said it was not a "purse", it was a "pantless pocket". This went on for weeks.

One day four of us went to lunch. This guy, me and two women. We went to a restaurant, ate, paid out tab and left. As we were walking toward the car the waitress came running out calling "hey, you forgot your purse."

That was the end of the "pantless pocket".

[Rhonda Jean]

I carry a purse in male mode a lot. Not to work, though. I don't carry it for any of the practical reasons. I carry it simply because it's a strong feminine statement. I carry my Ipad, wallet, keys... all the usual stuff, but that has absolutely nothing to do with the real reason I carry one. It's just one of those things I like to do, and I do it knowing damn well what it makes me look like.

[Prissy Linda]

I love purses, always have. The one I usually carry is a simple black leather purse but it's obvious that it is a purse. There is just to much stuff I need to carry and don't like bulging pockets, plus it's a cute purse and says I am a guy who is not afraid to show my feminine side.

[Eryn]

It seems that the difference is whether you own it, or are embarrassed by it. That's why I call my purse a purse, not a masculine euphemism. If I were embarrassed and tried to hide it that would make me a target.

If Shakespeare's Petruccio, a man's man if there ever was one, can say "Crowns in my purse I have..." then I can carry a purse too!

[Ceera]

Carried my purse in male mode all day today. *grins* Went to a doctor's appointment, and neither the receptionist nor the male nurse batted an eye at me carrying the purse. Then went and had lunch. No reaction from the cashier or anyone in the restaurant. Then to my bank. Tellers who have known me for years didn't react at all to my purse. Then to the grocery store. Same lack of reactions. And finally out to dinner with my daughter...

It was much more convenient to have the purse, with my iPad in it as well as the stuff that normally is in my pockets, plus my cell phone that is normally in a belt pouch of its own. And I still had room for more stuff, if I had needed it!

[irene9999]

I'm so jealous of women being able to carry purses, they're so convenient! I'm too chicken to carry one in male mode unfortunately

[mechamoose]

Don't be chicken, you got this!

Nobody will say a word, honest!!

- MM

[Tracii G]

These are my two everyday purses I use in boy or girl mode.

[charlenesomeone]

MM, cute purse, I have been using one even in drab for a couple months. Some will look, but like you say own it.
It is female but also super convenient.

[mechamoose]

Interesting encounter. It's hard to say what the other person had on her mind. But, nonetheless, it's nice to see others like ourselves out, and confident in public.

...and you are still the only one who even mentioned story #2.

<3

- MM

[Claire Cook]

MM,

I'm one of those chickens (old hens??) who doesn't carry a purse in male mode but has this wondrous big ole purse in comfy mode that, yes, carries everything it seems. (A purse is really one of the joys of womanhood, isn't it?) But now maybe you've convinced me to carry one all of the time. Hmm, let's see, here's this guy with a purse with 6 lipsticks, mascaras, compacts ....

Maybe the solution is just being en femme all the time???

[Katey888]

Moose - I'm afraid I'll have to be the weedy male amongst all this broad-shouldered femininityness... :surrender

But first of all I like the 'bag in question' :) Reminds a little of a lot of Liberty designs - verging on art nouveau... quite retro hippy. :)

Back to being male...

Out as male means jeans, pockets allocated as follows: door keys (stay in the car); car keys (left front); handkerchief and phone (left rear); wallet (right rear); mini-Leatherman (silly little front right pocket); coins (right front)

Ta-Da!! :clap:

If I need to brush my hair I have five fingers on each hand for that purpose.
I never need to check make up or remind myself how beautiful I am looking so don't even use the vanity mirror in the car.

Now going-girl is a different matter entirely... :doll:

How different the worlds of male and female are... :thinking:

And story 2: A rare but pleasing occurrence, I'm sure (but everyone else here is just obsessed with handbags! ;))

Katey x

[mechamoose]

Out as male means jeans, pockets allocated as follows: door keys (stay in the car); car keys (left front); handkerchief and phone (left rear); wallet (right rear); mini-Leatherman (silly little front right pocket); coins (right front)

I get to blame my wife for some of this... Since I wear girl-jeans now they tend to be form fitting. The wallet in the back right pocket was 'ruining the view'.

I love my woman :)

- MM

[Krisi]

When I was just out of high school, I was apprenticed to a jeweler who worked in the downtown area of a large city. He taught me to wear my wallet in a front pocket so it would be harder for a pickpocket to steal. Half a century later, that's where I still carry it. I did not become a jeweler though.

[kimdl93]

...and you are still the only one who even mentioned story #2.

<3

- MM

I guess we each focus on what is most significant to us as individuals. Your description created such a vivid mental image of this beautiful, powerful, confident person.

[Erika Lyne]

Hey Mechamoose!

1)
I have a purse/backpack ("handbag") that I've carried in male mode for the last few weeks of winter this year, loved it. I found it too bulky for summer but I might give it another go because there is just too much stuff in male mode lately. I use two different women's wallets (one while at work and one while home-different contents for different lifestyles) and they are both a bit big for my pockets.

I'm also frequently carrying Purple Puppy GG's Coach purse while shopping. I feel right at home with it there and quickly forget that I'm carrying it. She says she likes not having to haul it all around at times but she says I get more looks that I don't see. I see some of these looks but I just don't care either.

While carrying my bag in male mode I have received the token bad attempts at humor about my bag, "It matches your outfit." or "Nice purse." I always respectfully thank the individual and move on. Many times they actually catch that it is MY purse.

It is great to read that so many here are going about their lives and trying to who they are deep down.


2)
Ahh, to just sit and people watch on Bosotn Common...one of my favs in town.

I was thinking, maybe the person you read was actually nervous that you recognized their situation? It could be that they were actually afraid you would draw attention to them. I noticed one of us at The Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua, beautiful tall long haired blonde in leather pants and simple top with heels. We caught eyes and I smiled, trying to compliment her with eye contact rather than verbally. She picked up that I had read her and her eyes dropped to the ground, her pace quickened and a look of fear rushed across her face, the exact opposite of my intent.

I wish there were a way to signal peers like her in the above situation so she'd know without drawing attention to either of us because it was obvious that she didn't want any undue attention given to her.

-Erika

EDITED:
PS: I didn't even read many of the replies before writing the above post. I thought to myself, "There will be more comments about purses than the strong confident one you saw." I replied before even noticing that only 2 others posted about her. :clap2:

[mechamoose]

I wish there were a way to signal peers like her

If I had rating points, I'd be making deals to acquire an absurd amount for this.

I wish there was some secret signal. In the LGB world it can be signaled by dress, buttons, colors, etc

How do you signal while you are actively trying to hide?

- MM

[Marcelle]

Hi MM,

Cute story and thanks for sharing. I only carry a person when I identify as a woman but I do have a funny story. I was dressed complete with purse and was meeting with a work colleague to give him the name of a contact he needed for work. I went to his desk before leaving work and had to rummage through my purse to find the business card. While he was waiting for me to find the business card he was fishing through his backpack to find a memory stick with a document I needed. So I am rummaging and he is rummaging and then he looks up and says "Man, how can you get used to carrying a purse and having to dig through it for things . . . so much easier as a guy don't you think?" I smiled back and said "So says the guy rummaging through his purse". He looked shocked and said "Not the same thing . . . this is a backpack" to which I replied "You keep telling yourself that" :) BTW I found the business card before he found the memory stick. :battingeyelashes:

Cheers

Isha

[Tracii G]

Isha I'll bet that comment messed him up to the point he won't be using the back pack much anymore at work.

I have had comments from women like oh thats a cute bag or you are the first guy I have seen carrying a purse in a long time.
Had one say purses are so handy I'm surprised most men don't carry them.
Its handy is the main reason I like to carry one.

[mechamoose]

It could be that they were actually afraid you would draw attention to them.

Just so it is said, I couldn't have drawn more attention than her without involving fireworks or some other form of explosives. I seriously doubt she was worried about much of anything.

<3

- MM

[Erika Lyne]

"You keep telling yourself that" :) BTW I found the business card before he found the memory stick. :battingeyelashes:


OMG! I wish there were a LIKE Button on this message board! Isha, this was a great example of how much men and women are alike but hate to admit it. I've done similar but I was always met with a hostile remark to follow.

MM,
I thought about this so many times. If we had a symbol like a gay pride it would out us and that isn't our objective. If we wore a button much like the first gay people uniting with the pink upside down triangle of the late eighties and early nineties it too would out us. The only solution I could possibly find is to have a large series of small pins all completely different so there is not just one symbol--say about 15 -20 different designs. It would be too many for the public to track and remember but as a member-- we each would know. Just a thought.

-E

[mechamoose]

the pink upside down triangle of the late eighties and early nineties it too would out us.

1940's, actually. The triangle and other symbols (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle#Nazi_use_in_concentration_camps)

But the problem remains. How *can* you signal while trying to blend?

- MM

[Erika Lyne]

Just so it is said, I couldn't have drawn more attention... I seriously doubt she was worried about much of anything.


True, maybe "drawing attention" is not my best choice of words.

Maybe she was receiving the wrong signals from you is a better way. For example, I people watch...a lot. If I catch a man's eye as a man it is either a challenge or an acknowledgement of manhood. If I catch a woman's eye, she frequently responds in a submissive, threatened posture--eyes down, shoulders slouch, pace quickens. I am never challenging a man, nor deliberately acknowledging any unspoken male code. I am never trying to dominate a woman or cause her to be uncomfortable. If I am watching a man it is trying to figure what makes him attractive to a woman. If I'm looking at a woman it is to admire something about her, not objectify her.

Your person in The Common may have given you or the public the "chip on her shoulder " attitude because she interpreted the way she was being looked at as a threat and stand THAT confident was a defense mechanism.

I wasn't there, I don't know what you saw or who she is or how she is in day-to-day life. I'm just throwing this out there. Either way, I am "stoked" that you were "stoked" to find one like you, like us, confident enough to own it on The Common.

-E


1940's, actually. The triangle and other symbols (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink_triangle#Nazi_use_in_concentration_camps)

But the problem remains. How *can* you signal while trying to blend?

- MM


The Nazi pink triangle was worn pointing up as far as I remeber from all historical references in school as well as those that I can find on line and it was purely a negative, socitial imposed symbol. The inverted pink triangle was a derivative of this very symbol but worn by choice as a sign of unity and pride among the homosexual culture of the 80-90s. It was later dropped because of the historical reference and the rainbow flag later adopted in its place. It is this voluntary sub-culture identification that I speak of, not a historical atrocity.

[mechamoose]

:)

I actually *like* being wrong!

Thank you for correcting this old bird!

- MM

[bridget thronton]

I have carried one of several leather shoulder bags dressed as both male or female for about 15 years. Have not had any negative comments for many years (not even from strangers)

[Sandie70]

Men often make fun of a woman's purse and all she carries in it. But once you start carrying one, you realize how convenient it is and you want it all the time. I'm even tempted to get a man's purse for when I'm out in drab.

[Claire Cook]

Hi MM,

Cute story and thanks for sharing. I only carry a PERSON when I identify as a woman but I do have a funny story. :battingeyelashes:

Cheers

Isha

Dear Isha,

Now THAT creates a great image!!

Have a great day,

Claire

[Charona]

Way back when I was in the Air Force one of the women on the site carried an olive drab canvas GI tool bag as her purse when on duty. It matched the fatigue uniform reasonably well in the days before the camo uniforms.

[larissa-laurie]

I only have one purse but it is my favorite. A brown leather bag with nice form and plenty of pockets. Only I use it for all kinds of stuff, sometimes a camera bag, lunch bag, besides the checkbook, coin purse, makeup and keys, etc. I just love this purse.

[Krististeph]

I rue the day when I have to carry a purse. Mostly because I carry a backpack now. I am in male mode in public, but tools, toiletries, pens, more tools, books, flashlight, emergency stuff, etc. If i had to carry a purse, it would not be big enough...

At least I get exercise and work my muscles carrying this thing around. Depending on the books, 20-30 pounds. Take that, purse-snobs! :-)

(said out of jealousy / envy)

[jeanine38]

I have been carrying a Sherpani Zoe for about a year now. I like that it can easily go from a wallet in my pocket or my purse to a cross body purse and not need to carry anything else.

Most of time my Zoe goes in my iPad bag which is easier for people to accept if I am carrying it is man mode when I can pull the iPad out of it, but I carry it just as much so I do not have to figure out what to do with all the stuff I carry in my cargo pockets when i decide to wear a skirt or a dress, for that matter when I decide to wear my lee jeans that have almost no pocket space.

I have found it is so nice to carry a purse to have everything with me. Even with cargo pants I can not carry as much as i can in a small purse.

I have a Sherpani Milli. I love it! It's small, light, and carries what I need.