AbigailJordan
07-26-2015, 04:43 PM
Okay. To those who don't appreciate mini-novels I apologise, but I just need to get this out if for no other reason than to keep my mind occupied for reasons that will become apparent.
So, Abi's biggest supporter bar none is my friend L, (we'll keep it at that just in case lol), It was L who first gave me the courage to go out in daylight, she often asks when Abi is coming round again etc, so as you can imagine, an extremely good friend who I keep in touch with and visit several times a week without fail. Now recently, she has had a friend over from Ireland, we'll call her T. so, last week when I went round, I met T for the first time. Now I have never believed in love at first sight or anything like that. I think that an initial attraction or "lust at first sight" is the initial spark that prompts you to go on and get to know someone and the love develops after that if you're lucky.
However, when my eyes fell on this woman, I was pretty much spellbound. We chatted a little and got on well and all I could think was "don't stare.. don't stare". So somehow I managed to keep my cool and get through things without making an idiot of myself. I popped round a few days later and obviously sat and talked again. My friend L was preparing to go away for the weekend to London, I naturally assumed that T would be going with them. SO as I was leaving I said "have fun in London" and she responded with "Oh I'm staying up here to look after the cat" we had a bit of a chuckle about it.. and I was on my way out of the garden when she asks what I have planned for the weekend. Well, I'm 42, I'm single and I prefer to wear a dress to jeans and a t-shirt.. so obviously I tend not to have a great deal planned most days lol.. I tell her that I don't have any plans in place at all and she mentions that she and a few friends are going out for drinks on Saturday and I'd be welcome to join them all for a drink or two.
So at this point, I'm thinking that maybe she likes me enough that she wants to get to know me better etc.. but then also I consider that she's asked me to join her and some friends in a group setting, so maybe it's just a polite gesture or something. So I figure I'll make an effort and turn up, after all, it's not every day a beautiful woman asks me out for a drink in any context.. and if I end up feeling left out of a group of people I don't know very well I can always make excuses and leave after a quick pint. (talking of quick pints, at this point I SHOULD have recalled I was dealing with an Irish girl.. but more on that later).
So.. Saturday night comes.. and I get ready to go out for a few drinkies.. now it's just made me chuckle as I think of what I'm about to write.. for the first time in what must be at LEAST 2 years, I dug into my male underwear draw and grabbed a pair of Pringles boxer shorts.. (I know I know.. I'm a sellout.. but I've been single almost 5 years now and I wasn't taking the chance!!!). So complete drab.. nails filed back and buffed but not even clear varnish. smart jeans, quiksilver shirt etc.. the first time I've taken any kind of care over my male appearance for a long long time. I didn't even realise at the time I was doing it quite how much effort I was making to look good for this woman.
All ready to go.. I double check myself in the mirror half a dozen times, almost talking myself out of going (I never have that much trouble going out en femme ffs).. but in the end I head out and walk down to the pub.. expecting to walk in to a large group of people and feel like an outsider with her catching up with her other friends etc. Before I even get through the door a woman outside says "I know you.. you're V, and you're here to see T aren't you? She told me you were coming and showed me a picture" I'm obviously a little surprised by this but I confirmed who I was.. we introduced ourselves and I went in..
I spotted T, sitting with 2 girls and a guy. One girl was her Irish friend, the other was another L that I already knew, and the guy was her irish friends date. As soon as she saw me she came over and gave me a really firm hug (at LEAST 3 mississippi's for those who understand the reference lol). Told me she was really glad I came. after about an hour her friend and her date left and the other L left to meet friends so we were pretty much alone barring a few locals who came in and joined us at the table.
Now I'm no expert on body language and I know some people are more touchy feely than others etc, but she spent a lot of time pressing up against me.. giving me hugs.. planting kisses on me etc. And being Irish, she wasn't slow on the drinks either (sorry for the stereotype but Irish girls DO know how to drink whatever you say). Now at one point, I can't even remember how the conversation came up, but she was telling me a story about how one night she was out back in Ireland and ended up having to go to hospital but was dressed in a way that wouldn't have been appropriate. So she ended up borrowing a maxi dress from a crossdressing friend of hers. Now obviously, hearing that someone has experienced an MtF CD always makes you more hopeful of acceptance and less worrisome about the eventual "talk". I respond with with a smile and say "that was cool of him". And she then seemed to feel the need to explain that he was just a crossdresser. That he wasn't gay, and that he didn't want to become a woman or anything, but he just liked wearing the clothes and the makeup etc. yeah I know... you're all sat there right now thinking.. someone who totally understands.. that's a dream!!! I obviously agree that most CD's aren't gay.. and relatively few end up transitioning, and she went on about how most people don't take the time to understand it and so on.
At this point I decided to show her Abi's facebook profile picture (same one I have as my avatar here). she looks at it and says "oh shes' pretty .. who's that?" I look at her.. give her that smile and say "look closer". she takes the phone and enlarges the pic.. cocks her head a little.. looks at me.. looks back at the phone.. looks back at me and says "is that.... noooo.." I say "yep".. she says "oh wow.. don't you look naughty". I thank her.. she asks to see another pic.. I show her one with my legs out and see that look of envy in her eyes lol. she tells me that it's "so cool" and then instantly asks me "What size are you?" I almost burst out laughing.. how many girls ask that when they find out.. I love that part of revealing to a female friend, the wardrobe swap possibilities. Nothing seems to change, she's still very touchy feely and we're still getting along wonderfully.
Closing time comes around and we decide to head to a pub that stays open till 2am. we're both pretty merry at this stage. she ends up taking my hand and walking along with her head on my shoulder etc. so things seem to be going pretty well. We get to the next bar.. do karaoke and have a few more drinks.. all went really well, a fantastic evening, I walk her home with lots of cuddles, and of course, being a gentleman (and with her being the best friend of Abi's best friend I wasn't about to even try to do something that could cause problems) I said I'd talk to her tomorrow and maybe take her out for lunch if she wasn't too hungover and kissed her goodnight.
So, all in all, a great evening with a beautiful woman who as it turns out has total understanding of a straight, non transitioning MtF CD already. I understandably go to sleep feeling better than I have in some time.
So, this morning rolls around, I have a message on my phone from her at 09:30 apologising for being so drunk etc. I assure her that it's fine and she wasn't at bad as she thinks. We chat some, I ask if she wants to go to lunch.. she says she will think about it as she's feeling very hungover. In the end she decides not to go but promises me that we will go out one night this week to make up for it. We;ve texted back and forth most of the day until she went to bed.
Now the crazy thing is.. I'm 42 years old, and it's been a VERY long time since I felt the butterfly effect over any woman, but just seeing her online now gets me all nervous with anticipation.. hearing the message notification on my phone and seeing her name makes me smile.. I am seriously acting like a teenager again for the first time in 20 years. I'm not used to falling this quickly and as you can imagine, my emotions are all over the place at the moment.. this mini-rant is my way of just trying to get some of it out of my system and focus elsewhere..
So yeah.. could this actually be the start of something incredible with someone wonderful, or is it all one way traffic and I'm just falling for the wrong woman again? only time will tell and let's see what this week brings. Thank you to those who have taken the time to read this. I would appreciate any prayers you might wish to make for me.
Lots of Love
Abi x x x
So, Abi's biggest supporter bar none is my friend L, (we'll keep it at that just in case lol), It was L who first gave me the courage to go out in daylight, she often asks when Abi is coming round again etc, so as you can imagine, an extremely good friend who I keep in touch with and visit several times a week without fail. Now recently, she has had a friend over from Ireland, we'll call her T. so, last week when I went round, I met T for the first time. Now I have never believed in love at first sight or anything like that. I think that an initial attraction or "lust at first sight" is the initial spark that prompts you to go on and get to know someone and the love develops after that if you're lucky.
However, when my eyes fell on this woman, I was pretty much spellbound. We chatted a little and got on well and all I could think was "don't stare.. don't stare". So somehow I managed to keep my cool and get through things without making an idiot of myself. I popped round a few days later and obviously sat and talked again. My friend L was preparing to go away for the weekend to London, I naturally assumed that T would be going with them. SO as I was leaving I said "have fun in London" and she responded with "Oh I'm staying up here to look after the cat" we had a bit of a chuckle about it.. and I was on my way out of the garden when she asks what I have planned for the weekend. Well, I'm 42, I'm single and I prefer to wear a dress to jeans and a t-shirt.. so obviously I tend not to have a great deal planned most days lol.. I tell her that I don't have any plans in place at all and she mentions that she and a few friends are going out for drinks on Saturday and I'd be welcome to join them all for a drink or two.
So at this point, I'm thinking that maybe she likes me enough that she wants to get to know me better etc.. but then also I consider that she's asked me to join her and some friends in a group setting, so maybe it's just a polite gesture or something. So I figure I'll make an effort and turn up, after all, it's not every day a beautiful woman asks me out for a drink in any context.. and if I end up feeling left out of a group of people I don't know very well I can always make excuses and leave after a quick pint. (talking of quick pints, at this point I SHOULD have recalled I was dealing with an Irish girl.. but more on that later).
So.. Saturday night comes.. and I get ready to go out for a few drinkies.. now it's just made me chuckle as I think of what I'm about to write.. for the first time in what must be at LEAST 2 years, I dug into my male underwear draw and grabbed a pair of Pringles boxer shorts.. (I know I know.. I'm a sellout.. but I've been single almost 5 years now and I wasn't taking the chance!!!). So complete drab.. nails filed back and buffed but not even clear varnish. smart jeans, quiksilver shirt etc.. the first time I've taken any kind of care over my male appearance for a long long time. I didn't even realise at the time I was doing it quite how much effort I was making to look good for this woman.
All ready to go.. I double check myself in the mirror half a dozen times, almost talking myself out of going (I never have that much trouble going out en femme ffs).. but in the end I head out and walk down to the pub.. expecting to walk in to a large group of people and feel like an outsider with her catching up with her other friends etc. Before I even get through the door a woman outside says "I know you.. you're V, and you're here to see T aren't you? She told me you were coming and showed me a picture" I'm obviously a little surprised by this but I confirmed who I was.. we introduced ourselves and I went in..
I spotted T, sitting with 2 girls and a guy. One girl was her Irish friend, the other was another L that I already knew, and the guy was her irish friends date. As soon as she saw me she came over and gave me a really firm hug (at LEAST 3 mississippi's for those who understand the reference lol). Told me she was really glad I came. after about an hour her friend and her date left and the other L left to meet friends so we were pretty much alone barring a few locals who came in and joined us at the table.
Now I'm no expert on body language and I know some people are more touchy feely than others etc, but she spent a lot of time pressing up against me.. giving me hugs.. planting kisses on me etc. And being Irish, she wasn't slow on the drinks either (sorry for the stereotype but Irish girls DO know how to drink whatever you say). Now at one point, I can't even remember how the conversation came up, but she was telling me a story about how one night she was out back in Ireland and ended up having to go to hospital but was dressed in a way that wouldn't have been appropriate. So she ended up borrowing a maxi dress from a crossdressing friend of hers. Now obviously, hearing that someone has experienced an MtF CD always makes you more hopeful of acceptance and less worrisome about the eventual "talk". I respond with with a smile and say "that was cool of him". And she then seemed to feel the need to explain that he was just a crossdresser. That he wasn't gay, and that he didn't want to become a woman or anything, but he just liked wearing the clothes and the makeup etc. yeah I know... you're all sat there right now thinking.. someone who totally understands.. that's a dream!!! I obviously agree that most CD's aren't gay.. and relatively few end up transitioning, and she went on about how most people don't take the time to understand it and so on.
At this point I decided to show her Abi's facebook profile picture (same one I have as my avatar here). she looks at it and says "oh shes' pretty .. who's that?" I look at her.. give her that smile and say "look closer". she takes the phone and enlarges the pic.. cocks her head a little.. looks at me.. looks back at the phone.. looks back at me and says "is that.... noooo.." I say "yep".. she says "oh wow.. don't you look naughty". I thank her.. she asks to see another pic.. I show her one with my legs out and see that look of envy in her eyes lol. she tells me that it's "so cool" and then instantly asks me "What size are you?" I almost burst out laughing.. how many girls ask that when they find out.. I love that part of revealing to a female friend, the wardrobe swap possibilities. Nothing seems to change, she's still very touchy feely and we're still getting along wonderfully.
Closing time comes around and we decide to head to a pub that stays open till 2am. we're both pretty merry at this stage. she ends up taking my hand and walking along with her head on my shoulder etc. so things seem to be going pretty well. We get to the next bar.. do karaoke and have a few more drinks.. all went really well, a fantastic evening, I walk her home with lots of cuddles, and of course, being a gentleman (and with her being the best friend of Abi's best friend I wasn't about to even try to do something that could cause problems) I said I'd talk to her tomorrow and maybe take her out for lunch if she wasn't too hungover and kissed her goodnight.
So, all in all, a great evening with a beautiful woman who as it turns out has total understanding of a straight, non transitioning MtF CD already. I understandably go to sleep feeling better than I have in some time.
So, this morning rolls around, I have a message on my phone from her at 09:30 apologising for being so drunk etc. I assure her that it's fine and she wasn't at bad as she thinks. We chat some, I ask if she wants to go to lunch.. she says she will think about it as she's feeling very hungover. In the end she decides not to go but promises me that we will go out one night this week to make up for it. We;ve texted back and forth most of the day until she went to bed.
Now the crazy thing is.. I'm 42 years old, and it's been a VERY long time since I felt the butterfly effect over any woman, but just seeing her online now gets me all nervous with anticipation.. hearing the message notification on my phone and seeing her name makes me smile.. I am seriously acting like a teenager again for the first time in 20 years. I'm not used to falling this quickly and as you can imagine, my emotions are all over the place at the moment.. this mini-rant is my way of just trying to get some of it out of my system and focus elsewhere..
So yeah.. could this actually be the start of something incredible with someone wonderful, or is it all one way traffic and I'm just falling for the wrong woman again? only time will tell and let's see what this week brings. Thank you to those who have taken the time to read this. I would appreciate any prayers you might wish to make for me.
Lots of Love
Abi x x x