First time in clothes I purchased....

[St. Eve]

So, I have to say I feel pretty thrilled this morning...
Thrilled being a combination of satisfied, happy, and nervous.

I am sitting here for the first time in my life in femme underdress that I purchased for myself[/U]. I am sure that seems like a little thing to many on this board now, but it is a first for me. Everthing else I have ever worn has been borrowed, stolen or found. After a couple unsuccessful attempts I was able to take clothes off the rack and go through the self check out lane at Walmart. Some day I hope to be comfortable with my social absurdness, but for this week, my first purchases I am very grateful for the self check out lane at Walmart!!

So, this morning, as I write with my wife still asleep, I am sitting here in my panties, thigh high stockings and camisol. all are under my regular drab clothes. I looked in the mirror and nothing looks out of the ordinary....only you reading this and I know the difference.

I also have a decision to make in the next half hour. What part of any of this do I keep on today. My wife and I have agreed that I will explore my dressing at given times, but have not yet talked about underdressing. I will go to work before she is up and could simply "get out of my work clothes" when I get home and there could be no problems. At the same time, I really want to move through this in integrity and honor that she is having a very difficult time with this transition into non-secret crossdressing.

Thanks for listening.
If anyone can relate or wants to share experience I would be grateful.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

I think if you value integrity an honor in your marriage you should change before heading to work, then discuss under dressing when you get home. It may be a hard choice in the moment, but you'll feel better about yourself because you took the high road.

Bridget

[Belle Cri]

I'd stick with the home team game first. Try it her way, it's easy to expand, difficult to claw back if you get out too far ahead and leave her behind on it. Then worry about work. They can only fire you.

[Krisi]

You say your wife knows about your dressing and more or less accepts it. I wouldn't be sneaking off behind her back underdressed and then trying to change back into male undies before she catches you. This is something the two of you should discuss. Not because she has the right to tell you what to do or wear, but because you don't want to get off on the wrong foot with her distrusting you.

I suggest starting with just the panties. If she questions that, point out to her that nobody will be able to see your panties when you are wearing your male clothes. Start out with plain panties in black or beige. Once she gets used to you wearing panties every day under your male clothes, you can add other things if you wish.

My personal experience is, after a while, underdressing loses its appeal. I wear panties every day but I really don't notice them anymore, they are just underwear. I used to wear a bra under my shirt but now that I dress often with "real" forms, I find it not worth the trouble and risk to underdress in a bra.

If you're honest with your wife, you can probably expand your dressing as long as you do it at her pace. For me it was two or three years from the time I put on a pair of panties in front of her to the time I could walk around the house in front of her fully dressed in my own women's clothes, forms, wig, padded panties, etc.

[kinkyboots]

Bridget's right, slow and steady with the wife if you value your marriage at all. If you keep communications open you are far less likely to run into troubles.
as much as I've thought of under dressing during the work day, it's on the "maybe someday" list my wife and i have agreed too.

[Pat]

Congratulations on your achievement. :) There are no small steps, just steps and you've taken one. That's worth acknowledging. I can't offer any insight into your domestic situation but good luck -- I think there's some logarithmic law here -- it takes four times the effort to make two people happy as it does to make one person happy etc. ;)

[Marcelle]

Hi Eve,

Congrats on buying your first items . . . no small feat when you think of it. So don't downplay your own adventurous spirit in getting out there. WRT to dressing and your wife, as you said you have both talked about exploring your dressing at given times. Since the cat is out of the bag, I would take time to speak to your wife, lay out some dressing ground rules you can both live with and then move forward from there.

Cheers

Isha

[Sarah L]

I think this is a big deal. I remember buying my own clothes and wearing them for the first time.You will probably always remember this day.
You should feel great about this accomplishment. I bet you never thought it would happen.

I agree with the others, you should probably change before work.

[Tristessa]

Huge deal, don't minimize it! This is the first time you've let this part of yourself be seen by a person other than your wife, even if you weren't dressed at the time. That takes no small amount of self-acceptance and vulnerability. I hope you are enjoying your purchases and celebrating this milestone!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Eve, I see from your profile that you are old enough to know right from wrong.:hugs:

[St. Eve]

First, thank you all for your honest replies. I am very grateful for this place where I can share the truth and receive your experience, strength and hope.

So here is what happened.....
Just as I was finishing the last sentence on the post, my wife got out of bed and started her day. I pushed the "post" button and closed the window. She knows I am using CD.com, but she is still in a place where she essentially wants a DADT - she is a not yet participating place.

In her groggy state, she wakes up very slowly, I said good morning and gave her a hug. I was running late and she mentioned she thought I would be gone already. I said I was on my way out, brushed my teeth and got in the car without changing!

I really do honor most of what I read about going slow. It has been our choice to go very slow, and this morning just happened. On the very first day I wore any kind of women's clothing in the past 6 years and on the first day I have ever worn my own clothing I bought, it just happened....

I thought I might take it all off when I got to work, and, I felt so free and so happy. What do y'all call it - "pink cloud" or something like that. I had been dreaming of underdressing for decades and never had the courage to do it before. I just left them on all day. With clients, picking up lunch, with colleagues, with HVAC repair men. It was fabulous and comfortable and wonderful.

I shared the truth about my day with my support team (who also know the progress and process of where my coupleship is) and got nothing but support and love and affirmation....

I am self employed, and have my own private office. I realized today, that I could take so much pressure off of my marriage and my wife by just having underdressing clothes at my office and just put them on when I am out on my own and take them off before I come home.
In this way I could satisfy both of us - well y'all know how I would be satisfied, and my wife could have no contact with my dressing which is what she has asked for at this time.

Before I left the office for the day, I took off the stockings and the cammy. I left my panties on, but put my boxer briefs back over them. I came home and happily checked in and spent a wonderful evening together (after a changed out of my work clothes including my panties. We do have an agreement that I can start to have my own women's clothes in the house, I just need to keep them out of her sight for the time being.

I am very open to more of your feedback. I will continue to run the idea by my support team (non - CDers) and my therapist on Monday when I see her.

With much appreciation
St. Eve

[kimdl93]

I hope you and your wife can relax and in reflection realize that this isn't a big deal. What you wear under your work clothes is unlikely to be an issue unless you (together) make it one. So, talk it over...listen to her apprehensions, but don't let your life be ruled by baseless fears.

[Joni T]

I just don't understand the under dressing thing at all.
Joni

[Persephone]

Congratulations!

Hugs,
Persephone.