PDA

View Full Version : How often is too often?



Junius
07-29-2015, 12:04 PM
Hey all!

I'm just curious how often other CDs dress up? Should I be wary of dressing too much?

I'm just starting to get my wardrobe for CD. So far I'm only modelling a piece or two in front of the mirror once or twice a week. I can't explain it but I'm afraid that it might still be too often. I see how I look and feel in drag and it's fantastic but I don't want to lose myself in it.

Confucius
07-29-2015, 12:14 PM
No one can tell you how often is too often. Crossdressing is a matter of personal preferences, and covers a wide spectrum. To a large degree it depends upon your status in life. If you are a young teen, living with your parents, and they don't approve. Then that's one thing. If you are an adult, living on your own, with no plans on marriage, then that changes things.

I assume you are a teen, so I would advise you to keep it the way it is. Don't try to change things until there is a need for it. Enjoy the moments you get to crossdress, but always remember that life is more than crossdressing, and keep your focus on the important things in life.

pamela7
07-29-2015, 12:15 PM
there is no such thing as too often, all day every day for me ...

Sarah Louise
07-29-2015, 12:17 PM
Hi Junius, welcome to the forum.

I think whatever you feel comfortable with is just right. So I wouldn't worry, although if you've got a partner who knows about your dressing, you should take into account what they're comfortable with.

Alice_2014_B
07-29-2015, 12:30 PM
That is something only you can answer, Junius.
It all just depends on how you feel and if you think its too much, you do not want to get overwhelmed.
But at the same time you want to enjoy it as much as possible.
:)

Belle Cri
07-29-2015, 12:42 PM
Junius -

I think the real answer whenever you bloody well feel like it and hang what anyone else thinks.

Giselle(Oshawa)
07-29-2015, 12:46 PM
big question sis is "are you married"?
also beware of the pink fog femme is a powerful drug
but on the lighter side if you can still keep up your commitments
vis a vis job, family, and home then you can dress anytime you want.

Janice An
07-29-2015, 01:06 PM
In the winter months I dress most everyday, not as often in the summer.

I'm not sure if there really is too much or too little. The more you dress you will probably become more comfortable with it.

Just be yourself and enjoy!!

Katey888
07-29-2015, 01:27 PM
Firstly welcome Junius... :)

I think the answer is: It all depends...

I'm dressing about once a month currently - last year was every other weekend: both was enough for me at the time, but because I only do a full transform now (makeup etc.) I want to make it worthwhile. It really is about what suits you and satisfies you - but I think you're right to be wary at first. Some folk here plunge into this just because they can or they feel like it - that's OK, but the feelings it engenders can have other impacts on you - again, a lot depends on why you feel you want to do this... When I was your age, it was a little about fashion and a look and feel, but a lot about sex... that changes over time...

Don't rush it - take your time to enjoy the journey - explore this place and move ahead when you feel comfy... :)

Katey x

NicoleScott
07-29-2015, 01:47 PM
When it disrupts normal functioning of other aspects of your life, it's too much. Too much can be too often, too much money spent, too much time, or too much attention that should be on other matters.

Teresa
07-29-2015, 01:59 PM
Junius,
If you're concerned it may become an obsession maybe it's too much but we're all different and dress for different reasons and it does change the more you do it . The excitement may wear off but just feeling comfortable and at one with it takes over . Sometimes we push harder to bring back the buzz, maybe a little retail therapy or being more adventurous moving out of the closet .
The point is we have a need that comes and goes but never will go away for most of us it's for life, now I've accepted that my attitude has changed and I wish the hiding and secrecy to stop and be more open with it .

Jennifer0874
07-29-2015, 02:09 PM
I'm on day 5 in a row. All is well.

Rachelakld
07-29-2015, 02:26 PM
Once or twice a month was enough when I was late teens, 30 years later it's more like 5 times a week :)

Sharon B.
07-29-2015, 02:32 PM
Only you can answer that, today I have on panties and a bra under shorts and an old tee shirt, tomorrow it might be all out women's attire or all drab attire. I do know when the weather gets a little cooler and my makeup won't run or sweat it off I will do more.

Junius
07-29-2015, 07:13 PM
Junius,
If you're concerned it may become an obsession maybe it's too much but we're all different and dress for different reasons and it does change the more you do it . The excitement may wear off but just feeling comfortable and at one with it takes over . Sometimes we push harder to bring back the buzz, maybe a little retail therapy or being more adventurous moving out of the closet .
The point is we have a need that comes and goes but never will go away for most of us it's for life, now I've accepted that my attitude has changed and I wish the hiding and secrecy to stop and be more open with it .

Thanks! That makes a lot of sense. This is all so new that I'm still at odds with myself over this desire. I'm going to chill and let this be as fluid as it needs to be.

kimdl93
07-29-2015, 07:16 PM
No, there is not a limit...unless somehow the time, energy and money you devote to dressing are adversely affecting your relationships, work or finances.

BLUE ORCHID
07-29-2015, 07:53 PM
Hi Junius, I dress for three hours every Morning and a couple hours a couple Evenings a week.:daydreaming:

Lori Kurtz
07-29-2015, 08:06 PM
There were definitely times back in my dress-up days when I got too obsessed with it. Since dressing up included a lot more of the sexual satisfaction element for me than for some of the girls here, I sometimes found myself wanting to go for that positive reinforcement as often as my body was capable of doing it. I would have to very consciously do some soul searching and self-evaluation, and reel myself back in to get my life back into balance, so that I could give an appropriate amount of attention to family and work and friends and non-sexual kinds of fun--not to mention get enough sleep, too!

Once or twice a week seems perfectly reasonable to me, but it doesn't matter what I think. Try to look at yourself objectively and think about what you want your life to be, and then make your own decision. If what you're doing makes you feel uncomfortable, that's a signal to put on your objectivity hat again, and re-evaluate.

Jenniferathome
07-29-2015, 08:54 PM
"too often" is when this interferes with life in general.

sometimes_miss
07-29-2015, 11:25 PM
Everyone's different. When I was living at my parents house, and didn't want anyone to know, sometimes only once every few weeks. Same when I was married. Now I live alone and wear my girl things every day in one way or another (I sleep in female pajamas). Basically whenever I'm going to be spending more than a few hours at home alone.

Diane Smith
07-29-2015, 11:38 PM
It is entirely down to your own interests, inclinations and opportunities. The users here seem to range from being satisfied with dressing up only once every few months, to those who are full time, and others who "underdress" regularly but don't wear feminine outer garments in public. For myself, I present as a nonconventional male most of the time (with long nails, high heels, a little makeup and jewelry), and fully dress once or twice a week for outings shopping, to my hair and nail salons, or meet-ups with like minded friends. Now that I'm out and about some, my interest in wearing women's clothes at home has mostly evaporated, except for trying things on and experimenting with outfits that I might wear outside.

- Diane

flatlander_48
07-29-2015, 11:40 PM
J:

Glad you found us!

To answer your question, I dress to go out (head to toe, makeup jewelry, wig, etc.) 1 to 3 times a month. I am a member of 2 different groups. One is a social group and the other is a support group. I attend dressed as it would seem odd to show up in guy clothes. The social group meets in a bar and grill and sometimes a small group goes out after the support group gathering.

At home I dress (neck down) at least 1 weekend day and maybe 3 evenings during the week. There is always some variance with this, but that is approximately how it goes. Often I will dress in an outfit or part of an outfit that I might wear out. The idea is doing a bit of research as to how it feels to wear a particular item for an extended period of time or do I constantly have to pull on it or straighten it, etc. Sometimes there are unholy combinations of materials between, perhaps, a slip and a skirt or dress that causes wicked static cling. It's good to know things like that before you have to get dressed in a time-crunched situation and are forced to rethink what you're going to do.

DeeAnn

ReineD
07-30-2015, 12:15 AM
I can't explain it but I'm afraid that it might still be too often. I see how I look and feel in drag and it's fantastic but I don't want to lose myself in it.

Listen to your inner voice. Many of us develop tastes for things that we know might spiral us into the rabbit hole if we over indulge. It's a lot more comfortable maintaining a healthy weight, for example, when we aren't constantly craving ice cream, but sadly this is not the case for everyone. For some people it is a struggle, the lure of ice cream is too strong to resist.

prene
07-30-2015, 02:55 AM
i feel I am in that rabbit hole.

The more I dress the more I want to dress.

I get frustrated that I have facial hair(YUCK).

Careful ... I need to be. It has almost gotten me in trouble. LOL

Claire Cook
07-30-2015, 06:10 AM
Hi Junuis,

I'll join the chorus. It's up to you to decide your own comfort zone. It will likely change with time. Most of us started out very occasionally, and then follow as we get comfortable. For me, always a couple of hours each day, sometimes all day -- but it's taken a while (like years...) to get to this point.

Whatever, enjoy!

alwayshave
07-30-2015, 07:39 AM
Currently, I full dress once a month or so. I would like to dress more often but I am just to busy between work and other social obligations. I think more than once a week would be too much for my fiancee.

Krisi
07-30-2015, 07:46 AM
When crossdressing gets in the way of your "normal" life, it's too often. Otherwise, there's no set amount of time.

CynthiaD
07-30-2015, 09:43 AM
I draw the line at four outfits per day. Anything more than that is too much. :)

Jane G
07-30-2015, 01:24 PM
Nope, dress as often as you feel you need too.. it's your life enjoy it.:)

Taylor186
07-30-2015, 03:29 PM
How often is too often?

It's different for each of us. Ten years ago my wife agreed that I could dress fully once a month and attend a local support meeting. I found dressing fully once a month to be too much. I now dress fully less than four times a year and go out maybe once or twice. That said I underdress in some way most every day.

Cheryl T
07-30-2015, 03:33 PM
Well, I just spent 3 days of my vacation at our lake house and had no guy things there at all. Haven't even thought about it either.

We all have our periods where we think about this. My last was about 10 years ago. Now I dress how I desire, when I desire and don't give it a second thought.

AbigailJordan
07-30-2015, 04:12 PM
If it feels right to you.. then do it, if it feels like it's getting too much, then devote a little time to your male side. You will find your natural balance in time.

Personally, I tend to wear the clothes every night when I get home from work in drab mode. I get all dolled up at varying intervals.. recently it's been once a fortnight but then I've just come out in my local town so am kinda enjoying the opportunities that opens up. prior to that, Abi could sometimes be dolled up several nights in a week.. or possibly not dolled up for several months on end..

The nails are generally tended manicured and polished most of the time and I wear cute gold studs in my ears, so part of Abi is always there with me, and I can function in society quite happily as my male side without Abi coming out too strongly.

Abi is well loved by my inner circle of friends however, so when I go to visit them, I will always try to make every other visit one from Abi.

If you feel like it, go for it.. if you don't feel like it, go buy yourself a nice shirt and pair of designer jeans or something and treat your male side as well as you treat your female side.

Lots of Luv
Abi x x x

Adriana Moretti
07-30-2015, 08:11 PM
Junius -

I think the real answer whenever you bloody well feel like it and hang what anyone else thinks.

my thoughts exactly.....why limit yourself, and deprive yourself from something you love.....

Tina_gm
07-31-2015, 02:45 PM
As most others have said, it isn't really about what is too much. IF... you find that your CDing is beginning to effect the life you have in negative ways, then you will need to evaluate your life. For many of us, myself included, the amount of desire to dress and how much we actually do are not always the same. Generally CDers will desire more than what they actually do. That's ok, as there are many things in life that we desire to do or do more of that we do not because of bigger life commitments.

IF- you find that your desire, or need to crossdress is really beginning to have a negative effect in your life, or the amount that you are CDing, then the evaluation would be, how much do I really need to, how can my life be altered to accommodate CDing yet not make any drastic changes? IF- you find that you cannot meet your needs without drastic changes, then that is ultimately fine as well. It isn't a weakness. Please do not try to treat CDing like an addiction. Dressing in itself does not make someone want to dress more. What that feeling is, is your brain feeling what is right for you, typically.

Yes, there is the pink fog, which sometimes does make us get into an obsessed mode over dressing. Sometimes makes us want to live 24/7, or out ourselves to the whole world. If it is a case of the pink fog, then that will usually pass after a few days or few weeks. Others may say they feel it longer, but I would guess that if the feeling of wanting to live as a woman becomes persistent, then a complete evaluation, and probably a good idea with a gender counselor would be wise.

Welcome to the forum and to the world of CDing. Its not all bad, and nothing about it, no matter how much or how little it is done is ultimately bad. If your life needs changes to accommodate it, then make the accommodations. The only thing that makes it bad is if we are not honest about ourselves and what we are doing to those closest to us.