Transitioning's interesting curve ball challenges

[Jennifer-GWN]

😀 last night with a few friends the question came up regarding a coming local event. Appears that I'm "expected" to be at the commodore's dinner and DANCE on Saturday... Begs 2 questions the first of which I have no concerns with... Having a date.... Not an issue ... Solo will be fine. However there's the second part.... Dance... OhmF... 1 I don't dance... 2 if I did dance I've never slow danced in my life let alone BE LEAD... And it IS a slow dance crowd.

What shall a girl do... I did pack my formal black dress so prepared on that front.

Bloody hell... Curve balls around every corner that are unexpected representing interesting challenges. Perhaps all this should be a reality TV game show. 😀 hahaha

Cheers... Jennifer

[LeaP]

You politely decline with a smile and a thank you when asked.

[stefan37]

Then leave your comfort zone and dance. Allow yourself to be lead. If you trip up. Be humorous about it. It's all about having fun.
Transitioning is a continual process of breaking out of your zone into another after time. Rinse and repeat. I'm sure there will other occasions in the future. Might as well start with this one.

[kimdl93]

I'm at a loss when it comes to dancing. I don't know the difference between leading and following

[Dianne S]

Just dance! You might find you like it. Slow-dancing for the first time is a slightly smaller hurdle than transitioning. :dance:


I'm at a loss when it comes to dancing. I don't know the difference between leading and following

I'll explain. When you lead, you step on your partner's toes. When you follow, your partner steps on your toes.

[Jorja]

You have choices here: 1.) Politely decline the invitation. (not any fun at all) 2.) Call up one of your girl friends and learn to dance quickly. (a lot of fun) 3.) Just go and enjoy being out for an evening even if you can't dance. I would opt for #2.

[I Am Paula]

Slow dancing requires no skills.
Jack Daniels may be how white folks learn to dance, but white Zinfandel is how transwomen learn to dance.
Go, enjoy yourself, and dance, or not. your call.
Perhaps you will meet someone who rocks your world. Damn, I had to kiss some frogs before I met Terry.

[Suzanne F]

Get out there and dance. Everyone does it for the first time! You will be fine. Have fun !
Suzanne

[I Am Paula]

I was out on my lawn tractor yesterday, and thought of you.

[Eringirl]

I totally get where you are coming from. You could speak to a few of your girlfriends and explain to them your level of discomfort about the dance part and see what counsel they might have. That way if you decline to dance, people would understand why??? Or you could go for the dinner, the politely excuse yourself for the evening once the dance portion of the event starts?? Either way, I feel for ya.....not easy is it ???

[arbon]

Just fake it and you will figure it out as you go.

[Leah Lynn]

Just hang on and sway and shuffle to the music. And enjoy each moment of the evening. It will be special!

Hugs,

Leah

[becky77]

I've never taken the lead in a dance, just ambled together.
Never been led by a man either though, that would make me a little apprehensive.
But you don't know till you try. :)

[Jorja]

Being lead by a man in a dance is simple. You do everything he does except it is backwards and in heels. :)

[AllieSF]

I learned how to dance with a man, when I blind man I met took me to a ballroom dance gathering at a senior citizens center. I explained that I never danced in the female role. Since he was also a ballroom dance teacher we successfully made it through the evening. One tip he gave me was to lean back into his hands and arms. That helped me better feel his movements and hand guided directions about where and when to move next. Near the end I was getting used to it and my following capabilities improved greatly. The difficult part came when the DJ called out an open dance session where you literally got in line, me with the ladies, and then danced with whoever met you when it came for your turn to dance after the DJ called out "Change". I loved the surprised expressions on some of these older gentlemen when they gave me a good look as they took my hand to lead me to the dance floor, priceless! I started laughing so hard that I had to take a break because I did not want to insult someone. The moral of the story is that you can learn to follow, but it takes a patient teacher to get you there.

[Jennifer-GWN]

�� got it... Heavy drinking, go with the flow blindfolded, damsel in distress, be clumsy and gracefully step on toes. We shall see.

You all brought quite a healthy smile today... Thanks. Oh the bridges to cross... Speaking of bridges or bridge guessing that might be the next request. Joining the girls for the weekly game of Bridge. This i can do as it is mostly centered on chatting and cocktails vs cards. Tough life here in the summer... Just wish I wasn't working daily.

Cheers... Jennifer

[DebbieL]

When I was young and pretty (a LONG time ago)
I would go to lesbian clubs - one was a country western dance place. The girls would ask me to dance, but they wanted to lead. I found that it was MUCH easier once as soon as I was able to just let them take control. It was lots of fun!

If you let the men know that you don't know how to dance (yet), they will take great pleasure in helping you learn. Just remember that it is OK to say that your feet are killing you - after 2-3 hours dancing in even 2 inch heels - they WILL be hurting.

Seriously, this is one of the joys of being a pretty woman. Enjoy.

BTW, you WILL be getting more invitations to social events, to socialize, and to interact with both men and women. Start making as many women friends as you can, because they can help steer you away from some of the more abusive characters and toward some of the more charming types who know how to show a girl a good time without being a total jerk about it later.

[Eryn]

If you are lucky your partner will be a good dancer and his lead will tell you what to do, if you allow it to do so. If you are unlucky, you can blame your partner's poor dance skills for your ungracefulness (in your own head, of course) and revert to the hold and sway model.

If the music indicates a tango, get off the floor immediately! :)

Feel lucky, At my height, I have a near-zero chance of being asked to dance.

[Jorja]

If the music indicates a tango, get off the floor immediately! :)

This is when I love to dance. After all, I was a championship caliber ballroom dancer at one time. ;)

[Suzanne F]

Is there anything you can't do Jorja?
Suzanne

[Jorja]

Yes, there are several things I can't do but that doesn't stop me.That is just the way I am. Give me a challenge and I am going to be successful sooner or later.

[Jennifer-GWN]

I have a nice bottle of wine with Jorga's name on it because some time some point I'm determined to meet the effervescent oracle of all knowledge and spiritual guidance who continues to be a mother to us all.

Yes indeed.

Erin (Eringirl) for one can vouch for the fact that IT indeed WILL be a good bottle of wine.

Cheers... Jennifer

[Suzanne F]

I hope it is rubbing off on us! I am feeling like I can do it too!
Suzanne

[Gerrijerry]

We all had to learn to walk in heels. The first step is hard but it gets easier.
That said, it is not strange to see two woman dancing together. You can learn that way and still have fun.
relax.

[PretzelGirl]

I go with just jumping in. Being yourself makes the experience of things like this very fun. In February, I had a young lady ask me to slow dance. I asked how she wanted to do it as I had never followed. She said she never led before so she would and we could learn together. That broke me out to a lot of dancing on a following vacation and I loved it. So give it a whirl. You might release the tigress inside of you! :o

[Jorja]

Hey now, What kind of zoo do you think we are running here?:)

[Sometimes Steffi]

It's actually kind of funny. Neither Steffi nor my boy self can dance. My boy self needs at least a couple of beers to get on the dance floor, because he doesn't want to be embarrassed by his poor dancing skills. Steffi can't dance any better, but is not at all embarrassed about it. I'm still tying to get Steffi's carefree attitude transferred to my boy seelf so i can dance with my wife.