So, tell me.

[CarlaWestin]

If you were to tell everyone you know, family, friends, co workers, managers, acquaintances, everyone, that you enjoy being a female whenever you can, what percentage of them would be fully accepting? In my case I think it's at about 20-30%. Even with all of the diversity and acceptance as of late I think that's all I could expect. The rest would just think I was a perverted freak.

So, how would you do?

[Debb]

Not to spoil the fun .. but I've told just about everybody in my life, with the exception of officially coming out at work.

If we're talking "full acceptance", then my percentage is very low .. like 5% if I am counting right. Initial acceptance was higher, but the aftershock was what wrecked the percentage.

[Gladys]

I'm an older conservative person so I think they would be shocked. I think most people would accept who you are but wouldn't embrace it as if you won the lottery. At my age, I have no desire to let family and friends know but I do have a desire to go out in public. I think society has gotten much more accepting and I doubt anyone would disown you or stop being friends.

[Allisa]

Maybe 10% of all people who know me, as an older person my friends and family are also older so acceptance is highly unlikely, after all it took me 60 yrs. to accept myself.

[kimdl93]

It's a rather pointless exercise. I can't begin to guess what goes on in other people's minds. All I can know is what I have observed in real life experience....so far, the acceptance level has been unanimous among immediate family members, friends, select business associates and neighbors. Had I guessed beforehand, I would have grossly underestimated.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Carla, I don't know about telling everyone about my dressing,
But having both ears triple pierced it seams like no one cares.:daydreaming:

[Robin414]

Hmm, being 'fully accepting' I think 1% (I have a GG friend who happens to be bi sexual), being 'ok' I think 99%

[LucyNewport]

All my friends know. Maybe half of my family. The only people who I expect will have a problem would be my brother in law and maybe a manager or two at work. In my case everyone is going to find out eventually.

[TrishaTX]

I work in financial services so Id say minus 28.5 % yes minus...I would owe acceptance to someone else lol....very few people in my case...

[Tonya Rose]

I think I might fall in that 30 percent range! as i only consider about 10 people actual friends!

[JenniferR771]

Good question, Carla!
In my case, those who know are neutral or somewhat negative. Wife--somewhat negative. Daughter #1 somewhat negative--never talks about my cding--never asked to see a picture. My brother--about the same. Daughter #2, will talk about my cding to some extent--but never asked to see a picture. Co-worker woman does not want to talk about it and never asked to see a photo. Thinks I might be a sinner.
Girls at the thrift store--sometimes friendly, will discuss and look at photos and help me pick out dresses.

My estimate: many neutral to slightly negative responses. Then again I am nerdy--don't have a lot of friends. Quiet personality.

[Donnagirl]

I think you'll be suprised. Work, (para-military law enforcement) not a problem, bike club - not a concern, friends, family - all very positive. Coming out has rekindled relationships with two of my sisters, brought me more friends and has given me a social life. Whilst I'm not sure of the criteria for acceptance, in my situation the percentage would have to be high.

[PaulaQ]

You will never know, or probably even guess closely, until you actually do it. I predicted the results of my coming out accurately in exactly one case, out of all the people I told I was going to transition. That would've been my now ex wife, and you can probably guess how she reacted.

[sometimes_miss]

I'd have to say that a lot would accept it, but wouldn't like it. Nor would they be accepting of me in their lives as CD or TG, either; it would definitely alter the relationships for the worse. I don't know anyone who would embrace it. None. So, Zero percent.

[JeanetteX]

I have thought about that so often as I would love to come out and tell people. But in my case I can't see more than 5-10% of people who would give it even the slightest bit of acceptance. So I have decided to remain in the closet for now. But my wish to tell keeps on growing and growing...who knows in the future it will explode into the outside world

[kayegirl]

In my case I would say that most of my family and friends know and accept, this includes my wife who is highly supportive, even encouraging. When I did come out, I had only one negative, but we remain friends and close neighbours. I'm retired so work is no problem. The one part of my life where it remains a secret is my lodge, not sure how well it would be received there!!!

[Marcelle]

Hi Carla,

I guess I will throw my own experience in the ring since I am out completely in my social and work environments (military). When it comes to my family I would say 90% are completely supportive (unequivocally) with the remaining 10% understanding, being okay with it but indifferent. My close friends again I would say about 70% are completely supportive with about 25% being okay with limited support and 5% are still on the fence (neither in or out). When it comes to work colleagues that is going to be a guessing game. In my experience about 80% are okay with it, understand but are indifferent and about 20% avoid me in work settings.

Cheers

Isha

[Claire Cook]

Carla,

I'm judicious about whom I come out to, but my numbers would be similar to -- probably higher -- than Isha's ... I have been amazed at the positive responses I have had from those I have told. Admittedly the vast majority of these have been women, and I've told few people I work with, and no one in my family. Well, I'll change that last ... I sometimes take power walks with my cousin's wife, and one day I just said "You know, it feels good to do this wearing a bra." Her response: "Just don't tell me anymore".

Just yesterday I met with the supervisor of our condo here in Virginia, telling her that I'd be spending more time here since I have a temporary job with the Feds. She had seen Claire in the elevator, so I told her that she;d be seeing more of my transgendered self. Her response: "I have to meet Claire. I think it is great and you have to introduce us." :battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes:

Hugs,

Claire

[pamela7]

i'd say uniformly positive, seems to be a non-problem. But then how true are people to your face?
One friend seemed completely accepting, but later revealed that really they didn't want that in their life - it's like a DADT friend.
If that were more widely true, then acceptance might be more face-only.

it's like organising an event, 100 people say yes, 40 attend!

How do we know?

[Krisi]

Well, you can never "be a female". You can dress like one or with $100K worth of surgery you can look like one but you can never really be one.

"Fully accepting"? I would say my wife tolerates my hobby but I'm sure she would rather I give it up and take up golf or fishing. I am no longer working for a living but I doubt my co-workers or the people I dealt with on the job would be too accepting. My (adult) children would probably tolerate it but ask that I keep it away from my younger grandchildren. Friends might tolerate knowing about it but wouldn't want to see it.

The general public views crossdressing as a perversion or a mental illness. They would rather not have to deal with it.

[Sissy_Michelle]

How would I do, if I came out to everyone that I knew.

5% would support me.
25% would say "I knew something was wrong with him."
50% probably would stop speaking to me.
10% would want to know what I was wearing.
10% would freak out.

+ or -

[Sarah Beth]

If I came to out the people in my family and my friends the only the people I would have left would be my wife and one friend. I know for a fact from recent conversations with my parents what their stand would be and even my kids would not have anything to do with me. Well my son might but I am sure it would change our whole relationship and not for the better.

[Katey888]

Carla - I have no idea... at all...

If I was able to predict that with any accuracy I'd be filling in lottery numbers instead.

Actually, I do that already and I'm clearly no good at it, so I'll leave predicting stuff to older, Romany-type GGs with headscarves and large glass balls... ;)

I'll keep the knowledge of my secretive existence to just you few understanding girls right now thanks... :battingeyelashes:

Katey x

[Robyn2006]

Funny... I think about this a lot. I've a pretty liberal family and like-minded friends, so I'm thinking the percentage would be pretty high, say 80% acceptance - but you know, after the shock and laughter subsided.

[DanaR]

My doctor mentioned to me once that I led two lives; which is probably true. She is about the only one that knows me as a guy and knows about me as a girl, except for my wife. As Dana, she has some friends, but they don't know the guy.

[MsVal]

I'll let you know in at the end of next week. I have a series of disclosure meetings with my seven kids and their four spouses.

I HAVE TO do this, and the anxiety headaches are awful.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Suzanne F]

Carla
I am out as a woman to everyone except my work. I work from home and I will be coming out in the next 6 months there. I have a mother that won't speak to me and my former minister and his wife have cut off contact. A few other friends have quit communicating with me. However, the vast majority of friends and family have been accepting and mostly supportive. I have determined that I give people the opportunity to love the real me. What they do is not in my control or really my business. Oh, my wife and three children adore me and we are all closer than we have ever been!
Suzanne

[Chantel Lacey]

I have thought carefully on If I would come out an whom may support me.,. butt after testing the water I found none would except my change that know me in my area.,. I am thinking of moving to a area not so closed minded but then are there any.,. large cities maybe as there are so many people there I could more then likely blend in unnoticed.,. Still not sure if an when i want to come out dressed in public.,.
So for now Im staying in my house an close to the closet lol Cheers

[Rachael Leigh]

Im pretty sure mine would be about 10 percent, what can I say.

[Samantha2015]

I really don't know how friends & family would react. This isn't a lifestyle 24/7 for me so I don't think anyone
really needs to know. Would I like to tell someone about it... maybe but I'm not sure what there is to gain from it
vs the potential loss. If you say your hobby is fly fishing they all say "oh cool". You say cross dressing
and it's "WTH is wrong with you?" :2c:

[AbigailJordan]

Well, I work as a contractor, so co workers and managers aren't really in the equation for me, but amongst my friends, family acquaintances and random people who happen to know me, I am yet to encounter any outright negativity since Abi first stepped out in daylight. Even alpha male types who only know me via other friends have had supportive words once they found out. And I thought I lived in a narrow minded backward town. I would put mine at around 80% based on reactions and opinions to date.

[ReineD]

With us, I've noticed a difference between "true" acceptance/understanding, vs. "conceptual" acceptance. The people who truly accept are those who are connected to this community: other CDs/TGs/TSs, their spouses, etc. Among non-community people there are those who, no matter how much I inform and educate, will not approve and still think it weird. And, there are also people who are more liberal and who do accept the idea that my SO has the right to do what she does, but they still feel a degree of "wow, this is different" in our presence, or they prefer to not see my SO dressed (even though they tell themselves they have no issues with it and they do not judge my SO when he is in guy mode).

The proof, I think, resides not in what so-called supportive people say, but in what they actually DO (and to what degree) as a form of support. Are they willing to go out with us dressed? Would they invite us, while dressed, over to their Thanksgiving dinner with their children and extended family in attendance?

Strangers (SAs, restaurant personnel, other strangers we see when we go out) are easier and this is for the simple reason that we do not impact their lives in any way. They don't know our names, where we live, they can put on their polite and politically correct faces (whether this is genuine or not), and life goes on. A few people stare and who knows what they are thinking. Maybe they judge, or maybe they also have loved ones who CD or are TS, or maybe they're just trying to figure it out.

[Samantha Clark]

It may vary by degree of relationship. Acquaintances are least likely to be fully accepting, and family may be more likely as a general rule. True full acceptance is really pretty much out of the question in my opinion.

The best that can be hoped for, in my situation, is varying levels of tolerance, without understanding. I have only told my spouse and she's trying to understand and come to grips with it, but goes through varying levels of tolerating it. I have no reason to tell anyone else and don't plan to.

[angelica92]

Hi Carla:)

This i think is so hard to answer for me because i think alot of the times the ones that you think have a problem with it often don't and vice versa.
But i know my family is supportive, maybe 40-50% of everyone else would be accepting. But this is a really rough estimate and i hope if i ever tell everyone that more would be supportive and accepting.

Regards

[Dana44]

Wow, good question? My ex wife told everybody that I am a cross dresser. Let's see, one friend asked me directly. Never got a call from any others or my sister after that. No even to discuss anything. Clear slate, no acceptance. If you cant' please everyone, please yourself. I now live far away and go about my own business. My SO and I go to movies and dinners. We go to the lake in our bikinis. Kinda funny though when you fall off your high horse, nobody cares. I have not received a call from any of my old friends. Heck, just to see if I'm alright. Nope. I have called them though. One way street.

[fiona frisson]

mm interesting question - obviously depends on individual circumstance & locale
.... taking it literally as fully accepting - id say 5-10% ...and in truth im still guessing who those would be .... the (collective) loneliness of the long-distance crossdresser!

[Candice June Lee]

If i came out to family, my siblings would be unaccepting as well as my parents. My wife is somewhat accepting at this point. Friends maybe one would be accepting other than my crossdresser friends. Work relations, i am totally unsure what would come of that. It would be tough to go to work and crawl into a greasy oily nqsty engine compartment, or under a vehicle with forms and a wig on. So i dont think it would work.

[Avrial]

I've found family to be about 50/50. Half are ok with it, the other half keeps their mouth shut... and a few are actually supportive. Friends, I'll never know for sure. I cut out more than 2/3 of acquaintances from my life when I moved. Best guess, though, is that most of that group would not have been supportive.

[Junius]

Honestly I can only name 2, maybe 3 people in my life that would be accepting. I work in a kitchen which sometimes feels like the last bastion for the hetero norm. Family is very conservative but my sister for sure would be cool with it. After all she's the one who dressed me up when I was five, giving me the taste that stated it all

[Teresa]

Carla,
My wife knows but how much she actually accepts percentage wise is difficult. My daughter knows is is very supportive she did let me show her some pictures and she thinks my wife should be more supportive ( Maybe I shouldn't have put her in that situation !) My son knows he's fairly supportive and thinks I should continue therapy but I don't think he's realised what the implications could be afterwards . He also told his wife, she's OK about it but has never mentioned it to me. Two out of three of my brother in laws know, one has been very supportive but the other hasn't mentioned it but I need to have that conversation with him over certain aspects . My sister-in-law is fairly supportive and I've had some good conversations with her !

I was self employed so work doesn't come into it , I wanted to come out to my art group, one member knows and just told me turn up dressed if I felt like it she didn't have a problem, my art tutor knows is very supportive, he came out to me that he's bi and how he's struggled with it.

All I can say is no one has given me a hard time apart from my wife, no one has treated me like a perverted freak ! I did post a thread asking how far out are you, all the people mentioned only know about my CDing no one has seen me fully made over in reality, that has to make a big difference in the acceptance percentages !
The important point is we aren't the only ones to CD, if we think we get a bad response maybe we've touched a nerve in the other person, if it's man maybe he's a suppressed CDer , if it's a woman maybe she's married to one !

[Yoshisaur]

If I were to tell everyone I know that I enjoy being a female, I would say most of them would not accept it. The exception would probably be my oldest sister and three of my close friends. Most of everyone else I know seem to be pretty "weird" around anything LGBT so I can only assume that they would be really surprised ...not in a good way.

[Lily Catherine]

Thus far among those who know (a minority as they are):
Family - parents both avoid the topic as much as possible and don't seem to like it. I hear the word 'pervert' and its variants thrown around often.
Friends - told at least 6, responses seem largely okay, but most seem not to like the idea.
Colleagues - most at my level know individually, all don't like the idea but frequently seem to encounter crossplayers at conventions at disproportionately high rates.
I don't know any CDers outside this forum yet.

[Athena_]

I think one of the main reasons that I have not shared my cross dressing with anyone willingly is due to the expected negative reactions. My wife is the only one who knows, and I put her in the camp of tolerant (not supportive). I have to think that the rest of my family and friends would react worse than my wife, although a few may surprise me.

I guess it is a matter of risk and reward for my situation. I would like to think that the world is more tolerant than it is, but I am not willing to, at the moment, take that risk personally.