The same meaning?

[Laura912]

Of late, there has been an ache in mind and soul wanting ever more to be female, something not satisfied by just CDing. This happens somewhat cyclically but is usually endured till it calms down. The severity does help with understanding how some handle the drive by resorting to drugs, life threatening measures, or transitioning. Several nights ago, while doing the dishes (don't cook but do help), I looked at the reflection in the window and silently screamed "I want a woman's body!" Then just a few seconds later, had the thought, is there a difference between wanting a woman's body and wanting to be a woman or are they both the same? The question has continued to nag a little. (Hope this is not one of those how many angels can dance on the head of a pin questions.)

[pamela7]

i know the feeling. I don't have answers, but the more i dress and live behaving as a woman the less wistful for the actual body I feel. It helps to have moobs and clothing to exploit them tho!

[Jazzy Jaz]

My personality is a mix of both genders but i would love to have a sexy womans body.

[Bria]

Laura, I have had some of the same thoughts, but I also have no answer.

Hugs, Bria

[Jorja]

For myself, I found that I wanted to be a woman sooooo bad. It is all that I thought of. I woke up and went to sleep with that thought. I am sure I cut myself during that time. As the blood came out it made a sound, Be a Woman.... Every second of the day and night that is all that was on my mind.

I wasn't like it would be cool to have a woman's body.

Does that make sense?

[kimdl93]

Hi Laura, I guess it depends on context, doesn't it. An individual in expression of sexual fantasy might make such a wish, and it would mean one thing. When the thought arises in the context of doing dishes, evoked by a casual glance at one's reflected image, one might safely presume a different meaning and a different answer to your question. I'm not implying that one is more valid than the other, just different.

[Erica Marie]

Im not sure if it is the same or if the two just go together. For those who want to be a women, a womens body usually follows. For some they just want the body for what ever reasons.
As for myself, I would like the peace of mind of just being able to be myself. To rid myself of the constant male/female battle. My mind feels one thing and society expects me to be another. A struggle I am sure more people than I realize deal with.

[Dana44]

Laura, I know that feeling. Yet I think to myself, I am a male, been that way for many years. My fem always with me but wow if I was an actual woman. Yet the male life still is a large part of me. Yet I do want to be a woman also. twisted it is. The Indians called it twin spirits. Yet it is the operation of the brain. I'm both male/female in hormone and brain operation. Since letting my female spirit out of the box it is hungry to take over. But I am seriously male also and my creative juices are flowing.

[Ezekiel]

No. Its not the same thing. I want a womans body, except for the reproductive organs, and I identify strongly as male. So for me atleast, its not the same. I am not a woman trapped in a mans body, I'm a man who wants some retouching, and thats it.

By the way, TS are already women in a mans body (or a man in a womans body in the FTM case), and always been that way, so that should perhaps answer your question. Whether you are TS or not, thats a different story.

[mechamoose]

"Identity" is a fracking important thing.

I'm an XY, but I feel mostly XX

- MM

[sometimes_miss]

I grew up with that feeling. It was really, really confusing for a ten year old boy to both want the girl, and want to be the girl both at the same time; As I learned about sexuality and homosexuality, that was the primary confusing issue, because I felt I wasn't straight, and I wasn't homosexual either. It didn't become clear until decades later when I learned that gender ID and sexual attraction are separate things. . And, those feelings have never gone away. maybe it's just something we have to live with, at least, that's my experience.

[Robin414]

Wow Laura, I can relate! I'm not sure what's the cause but it hit me like a MAC truck (the truck not the cosmetics 😊) about 10 mo ago and I seriuosly see myself becoming TG...I don't want to freak you out, we might be completely different circumstances but thought I'd share for what it's worth😘

[Suzanne F]

Laura
I had suppressed the feeling all my life that I was really a girl inside. It took so much energy to keep it all bottled up. I was not a cross dresser and no one knew. I had buried it so far that I really didn't dare acknowledge it to myself except on rare occasions. Finally it came out sideways. I fell apart and told my wife some of the truth. Then I went out I the world as a woman and there was no turning back. Once I dared look at my real self there could only be one outcome. I began HRT over 3 months ago and am out to all friends and family. Only work is left to go.

If that sounds familiar you know it. I plan on having SRS but I assure you it's not just a case of wanting a woman's body. Having a woman's body by itself wouldn't warrant the total disruption of your life. By the way this was a three year process with my therapist and psychiatrist. My primary care doctor and a gynecologist that treats trans women have been involved in my treatment. Only you know and can speak the truth. I hope you take the time to find the truth. Good luck !!!

Suzanne

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Laura, I guess that every Crossdresser has had that feeling.:hugs:

[Laura912]

Isn't it interesting how we choose simple words to describe the complexities of feelings? It is not quite the twin spirits of Dana but that is a nice illustration of the feelings sometimes. It is more like a bit of Eric's response, that the mind and body need to get coordinated! Enough of this running around trying to be two entities. Kim, in her pragmatic and diplomatic way, pointed out that the reasons for wanting a woman's body can vary but in my case, just for a moment, wanting the body and wanting the gender slipped a few gears causing me to think there was a disconnect for me. But as Jorja pointed out, one could bleed woman if cut. Suzanne may have a sense that if I went out as a woman, even at this age of 73, there would be no turning back. Although out briefly twice, not quite brave enough to try the experiment yet. Like Lexi, it has been nice to get beyond the feeling that CD automatically equates with anything else. It is just a point on a spectrum, beyond which some never pass. (A different form of passing?!) Madam Moose, we agree that there is a lot of sub rosa XX running around inside us. The wrong gender in the wrong body is ..... Tough? Unfair? A disaster? Fill in the blank.

[Tabitha_Lynn]

I certainly have that feeling frequently.

Not to start a labeling discussion, but I perceive myself as an androgenous gender. I am happy with my male self and life, but also deeply enjoy my femme side and like to express it.

The way I look at these feelings with myself is that it would be much easier with a more female body. I feel like I could then present either way easilly based on the mood or situation. It would be much easier to dress and present as a man If my body was feminine than it is to present and blend as a woman with a man's shape.

I dont know if that helps, but it is my line of thought.

[MsVal]

Dear Laura, does this sound familiar?

Your heart aches for something that you struggle to identify, and if identified, difficult to express. Doubts arise about your true identity and a path to your self actualization. These are familiar feelings to me, and probably many others. They can be deeply disturbing until an answer is found, and once found, the answer itself may be disturbing. It's your life, you only get one chance, and you want to choose wisely.

In my case, I learned that my path to happiness had far less to do with looking feminine, and far more to do with being feminine. I am walking that path right now. While I haven't seen any rainbows or unicorns, I have found greater peace. Happiness, I believe, is not far away.

Best wishes
MsVal

[arbon]

maybe you are a woman and that is why you want the body.

[Laura912]

Arbon, had to reply...yup.

[Angela Marie]

It is different for everyone. For me it was a continual evolution with the realization that it was my inner feelings and emotions that defined me not the dress, heels, and makeup; although I still love them lol.

[CynthiaD]

Close to the same thing, but not quite. I'm a woman with male body parts. Wanting to be a woman would make no sense for me, because that's what I already am. But wanting a woman's body? Yeah, I could do that.

[steftoday]

I think about the same thing often, and it seems to run cyclically as well.
To me, your question's answer is they're the same thing.

[kimdl93]

Suzanne et al are probably correct about the impact of crossing that physical and psychic boundary that separates private and public presentation. For me, each step towards that thing I feared about myself and which seemed utterly impossible, has reinforced my ability to perceive further possibilities.