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View Full Version : OUT TO MY WIFE, 4 weeks on.



Lindahexi
02-09-2006, 10:58 AM
Four weeks have now passed since my wife caught me wearing pantyhose, and I finally came out to her; I thought it might help others to post an update on what has transpired since.

I have overcome the initial feelings of not being able to dress, I still can't explain why I felt that way, it could have been embarrassment or the shock of finally telling her; but now I am quite comfortable wearing femme clothes in front of my wife. It's all very casual and natural, I don't parade around in front of her or go out of my way to make sure she see's me, but it is really nice not to have to worry about getting caught. Getting dressed in the mornings is now a real pleasure, I'm able to put panties and tights on and go to the bathroom etc without any worry, then if I'm staying in I can wear a skirt and top too. My wife is quite ok with it, but doesn't want me to be seen by neighbours or visitors while wearing female clothes, I think that is a reasonable compromise.

The next hurdle is for her to see me in full makeup and wig, the clothes she seems to have now accepted, and in fact still hasn't made any derogatory remarks, but on the other hand she hasn't discussed the situation, and I've adopted a 'one step at the time' attitude. I feel fortunate that she has accepted my dressing and don't want to push her too hard, it will definitely be a shock for her to see me fully made up. She knows that I use a certain amount of makeup to hide facial blemishes, and she certainly knows that I use lipstick, because she's seen it on my overnight water glass, but how will she react to the full treatment? Any advice you can offer me girls about how and when to let her see LINDA fully as a woman would be appreciated.

I have read many accounts of others coming out to their partners, but I'm not sure if the whole thing comes out in one go, or in dribs and drabs as I seem to be doing; being accepted as a cross dresser is one thing, but not all CD's use full makeup and wig; Only my niece has ever seen me fully en femme and as many will know from my previous threads she is just fine with it, but she thinks it will be a bit much for my wife to take in. One thing that I wanted to mention is that I kinda miss the excitement of thinking I might get caught, it may sound silly, but being OUT has removed the worry, but somehow diminished the rush.

Sharon
02-09-2006, 11:04 AM
The make-up is a huge leap. My wife accepted me wearing the clothing quite well from the beginning, but she freaked a bit the first time she saw me totally made up. It was because with just clothing, I was still the person she knew, but with full make-up and wig, it was as if I was someone else.
She came around, however, and even helped me from time to time after we had numerous indepth chats about it.

It sounds like you and your wife are doing well, Linda. I suggest you prepare her and ask her if she would like to see you before springing it on her though. Good luck!

Julia Cross
02-09-2006, 11:05 AM
Hi Linda,

I have a suggestion. Why not wait for her to ask you about makeup. I think it is a natural progression women make when they find out their men are wearing women's clothes. I am sure she is curious about how you look in makeup, that doesn't necessarily mean she is into it, but the curiousity is likely there. In time she will likely ask you if you also like makeup, then she will have opened the door for you.

Julia

uknowhoo
02-09-2006, 11:17 AM
Linda, I think what the others have said is very good advice.

I just wanted to say how happy I am for you, that it's gone this well for you so far. What a huge relief it must be for you. Congratulations.

Good luck going forward, I'd suggest letting her set the pace.;)

Hugs,

Tammi

Aloha_Dana
02-09-2006, 01:31 PM
I have to agree, Linda. You have to give her the time to process this change. Let her set the pace - to some extent. If she is like my wife, she'll want to forget about it and not talk about it. After a good period (weeks, months), I'll find a way to bring it back up. Discussion is key. Her feelings are key. You are off to a good start. Do what ever you can do to keep her on board.

On a deeper level, I hear in your words 'attitude', 'shock', etc. You might consider changing your approach just a tad. Go easy, girl. Go easy.

I've been trying for more than a year now and just the other day my wife was comfortable playing w/me in panties. Yes, a year just to get to that point.

Best of luck. It sounds like you have a winner!

Dana

Anita Mae GG
02-09-2006, 01:37 PM
You are not the only one to go slowly like that. My husband started out with just panties. And that is all I knew for years. Then he told me about the rest of the clothes and having gone out in the past (that was in Nov 05 that he told me the rest) I only knew about the panties since 2001. So it took him quite a few years to break the rest of it out to me and that is only because I found things so he had no choice. Everyone moves at their own pace. He has worn a wig that I bought him for Xmas this past Dec. but not full makeup yet, though I keep asking himt o, but he isn't ready yet. Just go with what you feel comfy with. :D

Adele
02-09-2006, 01:55 PM
wow only four weeks and you seem to have acheived so much. I'm so pleased that you can now talk to your wife about your feelings.

It's been about three years since I came out to my wife. Things have been gradually progressing with my wife now accepting my dressing and I now have a selection of clothes etc and we even go shopping together. However she has not yet really seen me dressed and I have been kind of waiting for her to make the suggestion. Having said that we are seeing Rocky Horror in April and we have discussed thatwe should definately get dressed up for the show.

One thing I would suggest and I don't know if anyone else agrees.......
My wife sometimes resents me feeling sexy or turned on from being dressed as I tend to then emit the 'shall we have sex' beams. I have to remind myself that my wife married me not knowing that I was a crossdresser and that she wants to make love to a man not a 'woman'. Sometimes though............well you know!

dawnmcdaniels
02-09-2006, 01:58 PM
Might I suggest before you get all dolled up and present yourself to your wife that you start with pictures so that if things dont go well you can just put them away. Who knows she may just ask to see more ore even help with it.

Lindahexi
02-09-2006, 06:09 PM
SHARRON: Thanks for your reply, it seems that you know exactly how I feel about the makeup, it is a big step.

JULIA: Thanks for that suggestion.

Tammi: Thanks for your input.

Dana: Thanks for your advice and your good wishes.

Tammy: I really appreciate your input and comments, your husband is a very lucky man to have such an understanding partner.

Adele: Yes I know what you mean. Thanks for responding.

Dawn: That's a very good suggestion.