outing yourself to strangers?

[Robin414]

So, what gender are you more comfortable being 'clocked' by, (why does that term sound so 60's) when en femme? I've always thought women because I kinda am one and I'm completely open minded and accepting (plus they typically don't punch as hard 😊) but lately I'm beginning to think guys are as well? Kinda confused, thoughts?

[Dana P]

I am more nervous with guys, but I don't think there's as much difference between sexes-its an attitude issue regardless of sex.

Interesting for me this week....on a business trip, which sometimes allows me to dress. TV in room was apparently DOA (hotel full, no alternate room)...SO...I actually allowed someone named Steven to come in and work on the TV....twice. That wasn't a clocking I wanted or expected to have to face (I do go out from time to time so not totally uncomfortable with presenting as Dana...just NOT to the handy man at a hotel!).
Bottom line, he never said a word.:)

[Rachelakld]

Girls are more understanding of our situation.
It can be fun with males, so long as we don't mind being the but of the joke.

[Jenniferathome]

I think the issue is about context, not male/female. I firmly believe that 100% of the people who look me in the eye, know I am a man. But, I smile, I am non-threatening, and as long as there is no liquor involved, men and women seem to react the same. I do that think men have a harder time going with the flow than women.

[joanna4]

They're the same given the environment like if I were in a women's department store, I wouldn't mind outing myself to the SA regardless of gender and that's if I'm en femme or drab. If it were a car part store it would be a little different. In that case, I would pick my part and pay. No questions. But from my experience, I've been comfortable in a girls store with either men or women.

[Marcelle]

Hi Robin,

I like Jen's response here. It is not really by whom I am clocked but the situation. If a group of young guys pass me in a crowded mall for the most part they may give a WTF look but then again so do women (kid doesn't pass). However, I would be more nervous about being clocked by a group of young men at night in a dark area than a group of women.

Cheers

Isha

[AbigailJordan]

Robin, interesting question. I think many of us are more comfortable confiding in female friends than male ones. Whether it is just a perception that they will be more understanding, or a perceived fear of an alpha male reaction to anything non conformist. I myself confided in several female friends first and made a point of keeping it from my male friends.

Obviously as time goes on, I have told some of my male friends and due to several of my female friends insisting on hanging out with Abi occasionally, several male "acquaintances" have come to find out about her too. And I have been very surprised by the reactions. The strongest "negative" reaction I got was from an old friend who I'm not particularly close to any more, he was of the "whatever floats your boat, but I don't want a boat ride thankyou" camp.. the one time I we were in the same location, he "hid away" and chose not to see me en femme, which I respect, he wasn't rude or insulting, just obviously uncomfortable facing that kind of thing. He still spoke to me "through a door", and he still relates well to me in male mode.

So if that's the worst reaction from a guy I know, I can more than deal with it. I think society in general is coming around to "difference" and even those who would at one time have railed furiously against such "perversion" (I use that in the context of "distorting the norm" rather than anything sexual btw) are now generally more accepting.

One of my acquaintances who is very alpha, came round to my friends while Abi was there, he later pulled me to one side in the pub and told me that he accepts me for who I am, he's always thought I was a decent guy, and if I like to get all dolled up now and then who is he to argue.

As for strangers, I can't say I've noticed a significant reaction by either gender. If anything, the guys make more effort not to show a reaction. I've found that women tend to spend that little bit longer with the squinted eye look as they wonder, whereas guys tend to clock it quickly and then make a positive effort to "ignore" it as best they can.

Maybe we are getting there slowly :)

[SamanthaSometimes]

I'm definitely more comfortable being clocked by women and minimize direct interaction with guys but have no compunction interacting with women.

[ErikaS]

I have been out dressed more and wearing everyday femme attire. I'm am more comfortable with other women so being clocked not an issue I just smile and move along. My family and friends all accept Erika and are very understanding. I spent the last Sunday dressed at Pride Parade in Madison,Wi shopped and walked a good deal. I was in my comfort zone. Lol its good to be me and out.

Erika

[Judith96a]

I agree that it's a combination of context and gender. In general, I've got past caring who 'clocks' me, so long as the context doesn't make being clocked dangerous. So, 'broad daylight' with plenty of people (I.e. Potential help) around and if I don't have to interact with them then it doesn't really make any difference whether the 'clocker' is male or female. If I'm likely to have to interact with them then I'm more comfortable with them being female. If there's alcohol involved and/or it's after dark then I give males a fairly wide berth!

[Eryn]

Women. They see I'm no competition or threat. With men, there's always the spectre of "you're trying to fool me into a homosexual encounter."

I've never been misgendered by a woman. I have been by men, and this thread has made me ponder whether the reason might be that they are asserting "you don't fool me!"

[Krisi]

I don't understand why you would out yourself to strangers. Do they need to know? Why?

Now if you're talking about just walking down the street and not passing, you don't have much choice of who you meet. I remember in my early days walking down the street downtown and three women walked around the corner just as I was nearing it. What could I do? One said "Good morning." I responded back in my best Michael Jackson voice.

If you're worried about being punched by someone, try to stay in public areas where there are people around (as witnesses) and do your outside dressing in the daytime.

[SheriM]

I appreciate an exchange with a female SA or even another female shopper and I've had several. If there is a man in the isle, I go to the next isle. I will even avoid checking out (purchasing female attire) with a male. Ill wait until a female checkout is available.

[Anita Cosmolover]

I have no problem outing myself to a SA in a clothes store - either when looking at lingerie, pantyhose/stockings, make up and dresses, etc. It's very exciting and my heart is often pounding in my chest! I usually wear lingerie underneath on my shopping adventures and even wear one of my Cosmo t-shirts (white t-shirt with a fav Cosmo cover on the front). Sometimes I'll be holding the latest issue of Cosmo I've just bought in the shopping centre and to complete the moment, will just have to buy myself a new bra or undies - what a treat!

[kimdl93]

I don't go out of my way to out myself to strangers. I hope to be accepted as a woman...at least at 100 yards. That being said, i suspect I am most obviously TG to GGs...probably the understatement of the year. At the same time, I'm more comfortable with that, probably because of some ingrained machismo that keeps telling me that I have to man-up around makes. But in RLE I have found that men open doors for me, and with few exceptions seem take me as a woman in the absence of compelling evidence to the contrary. Let me emphasize that this isn't in a sexual way, but rather just the same level of courtesy I would show any woman if I were presenting as male.

Or, maybe they were scared...I don't know. I can't read minds.