Freedom!

[Millie.Graham]

So it has been a while since I posted. I finally came out to my wife earlier this year and it didn't go so good. My wife and i have been working on life together and and have restored or marriage and friendship to a place we both missed being at. Though I am firmly in a DADT relationship, the week before the trip I am currently on she told me, "I love all of you, just the way you are. I don't know if you are broken or not. But I know it is not my place to fix you if you are. I love you.".

So with that I find for the first time in my life I feel free to be me. It is such a wonderful feeling. I packed up a skirt and a pair of flats, hose, nail polish and a few other essentials when I left for the trip I am on now. I have spent the last couple of evenings in my room dressed and working. I just can't put words to the joy , calm and peace I have felt. Best I can do is to say that I am free, and it is wonderful.

It got even better this afternoon! A meeting let out early and I found myself with some unexpected free time and after much internal debate I screwed up my courage and decided to go to a Dress Barn that I saw near by. I walked in and an elderly lady greeted me and pointed me to some dresses that would fit me and she found a free dressing room for me and left me to myself. I found a couple of dresses to try on. After trying them on I found I was not happy with my first round of selections (also I was nervous, shaking wreck).

As I started my second round of searching this wonderful SA came over and asked if I needed any help. I explained kind of what I thought I was looking for in a dress. She spent the rest I was at the store with me. She helped pick out a several dresses and offered to let me continue to use the dressing room I was already using (very front of store) or move to one in back if it would make me more comfortable. She wanted to see me in the dresses, because she want to make sure my dress fit and complimented me (I had explained I was a little lost as this was my first dress ever).

I opted for the back dressing room. She really put me at easy and continued to bring me dresses as I tried them on and critiqued them with me. We eventually narrowed it down to 2 dresses and I had to make the tough choice to narrow it to one because I really liked both, but both weren't in my budget or avaiable suitcase space. I finally selected a nice blue print dress which I totally love and am enjoying. Dress Barn in California, Maryland (not a typo there is a town by the name of California). Totally awesome SA there who made this trip beyond words great!

I am considering posting a picture, but don't know if I have the courage for that one yet and I don't have a wig or makeup. Also I plan to chronicle my coming out to my wife experience in more detail because I believe sharing those experiences here are important. It was only through some of you ladies here that I was ever able to wrestle my dressing to the ground.


-Millie

[Stephanie_83]

Sounds wonderful - so nice to hear that your wife is moving forward with acceptance (even if it might not be as quickly as we could hope). And a great time shopping is icing on the cake!

[Pat]

So awesome! You had a good time on your trip and although it may not sound like it your wife seems to be on the road to acceptance. She may never want to hang out with you dressed but accepting that it's something you do is big. Congratulations!

[Teresa]

Millie,
Thanks for sharing your story , I'm envious on two counts, to have such a great time with a really nice SA to help choose your dress ! Secondly to hear those three simple words from your wife of , " I love you !" Despite knowing about you dressing needs !

[Suzie Petersen]

That is wonderful Millie! Great account.

Good to hear there are smart SA's out there who realize that everybody's money is the same color!

Marriage is all about respecting each other and accepting that the other might have sides and corners that are not exactly as we would like them. It should be a give and take relationship where there is room for both. Anybody who enters into marriage, thinking they will get everything they want and only what they want, is misleading themselves.

Your wife might not like what you do with the dressing, but if she realize that by accepting that you do, and by letting you know that she loves you unconditionally, she will have a happier, more thoughtful and more loving husband, then she will possibly see that it is worth it in the long run.
Just remember how good you feel now on your trip next time your wife ask you for something she would like, especially if you dont particular care for it yourself. It might be worth accepting it anyway and also telling her how much you love her :-)

- Suzie

[SharonDenise]

Congratulations! I hope your relationship with your wife continues to improve. You just got to love Dress Barns! I was clued into that store chain by someone's posting earlier this spring. The first time I went I was nervous because I was finally going to tell a SA that the items were for me and that I wanted to try them on. No problem! I've since gone back without any apprehension. I stated in another posting that I hope to do the same with the major department stores. I did have a positive experience at Nordstrom's but that's another story.

[kimdl93]

Sounds like you and your wife have reached a good place.

[Victoria Demeanor]

That's sounds like a wonderful experience Millie and I would not give up on your wife, but be patient and give her time to absorb it all. As far as posting a picture, as much as I know we would all love to see your new dress, that's up to you. when you are ready, you show off that great find.

[docrobbysherry]

I know that must seem like "Freedom" to u, Millie. Coming from your background.

But, to me? It sounds like you're one step from falling down the Rabbit Hole!:devil:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Millie, Good old Southern Maryland, Well the ball is in your :love:wife's court now,
go slow and don't overwhelm her with this program and keep talking.:hugs:

[Samantha Clark]

Very happy for you! Having your wife say she doesn't need to fix you and that she loves you the way you are must feel magnificent!

[bridget thronton]

Twice blessed a great wife and a nice shopping experience. Do not worry about posting a pic - enjoy your purchase.