Seeking advice !!!!

[denty]

Hi, recently I underwent FTM top surgery from a cosmetic surgery clinic (http://www.ftmtopsurgery.ca/ftm-procedures/) in Mississauga. My parents aren't accepting me at all. They yell at me, get hostile, and my mom refuses to be seen in public with me because I look how I feel inside - like a boy. What should I do to convince them? Has anyone underwent such a situation ever in life. Any replies in this concern will be highly appreciated.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Denty, I'm sorry that you are in such a tough position. Although you may get more replies from MtF (like me) than from FtM some of our experiences can translate.

I have to confess that I got lucky, but that is not always the case. The best advice I have seen from people who felt the sort of rejection that is being aimed at you is to live your life and let them see you thrive as your real self.

If you haven't already, is there a support group you could join in the area?

[PretzelGirl]

I agree with Lucy (5 cents please). Parents are one of the toughest. Some of it comes down to how much you can stand. I know for me, I would hang in as long as I could so see if exposure and knowledge would start changing their perspective. But there is a point that you have to let go so that you have self care. There are many here that have lost their relationship with one or both parents. There is no one thing that will change their mind. Just be authentic and they will start to see how true you are to yourself.

[kimdl93]

I can't speak from personal experience because I lost my parents to time. But I have faced rejection by a loved one. As sue suggest, about all you can do is what you must do...that is take care of yourself, let go of the need for their acceptance, and move on with your life. But always leave the door open for them and occasionally reach out to let them know that the door remains open. Despite their current state of mind, people, especially parents, can change their seemingly rigid minds.

[Jorja]

Wow, tough situation! Unfortunately, most of the options here are going to be tough on you. First, I have to assume you are of legal age. This means you are a big boy, you make your own decisions. Your parents think you have lost your friggin' mind. There is nothing you can do about that except try to educate them. Chances they are going to listen or read any material is slim. Understand that you do not need their acceptance. Never close the door to reconciliation. Always let them know how to contact you. Go ahead and live your life the way you see fit. A period of no contact might help loosen rigid minds. Show them by your actions and successes that you have made the right decision for yourself.