Has your Mother met you?

[Michelle 78]

Hi Ladies,

After seeing kaleyg great pictures with her out for a meal with her Mother it got me thinking, how many of your Mother's have met you?

I ask the question because I really wish my Mother would meet Michelle, she knows all about me but she's not willing to see yet, not even a picture. I respect her decision but I'd love to have a girly shopping trip with her or a nice meal one of these days, she has said she will be ready one day.

So the question is, has your Mother met you and what was it like when she did? how did you feel? nervous? scared? was it by accident? and what was her reaction? Good or bad? and how have things went afterwards? is it DADT or has she embraced you?

Michelle

[Amanda77]

My mom and I are DADT

[Ezekiel]

My mom and I are DADT

Same here.

[Heather W]

Yes Mom knows Heather and she is mostly positive around her. She did tell me after I came out to her that had I been a girl she would have named me Rachel. Thought about changing it but after all these years I am Heather.

[CynthiaD]

I wish it could happen, but my mother has severe elderly dementia and barely recognizes me in male mode.

[Sarah Beth]

My mother recently told me that she was "glad you didn't turn out to be one of those" so she is never going to meet that side of me or even know anything about it.

[reb.femme]

My mum is dead and never knew. She would have wished me dead had she known. Sad, but there it is...or was. :straightface:

Rebecca

[JoanAz]

My Mother did know and loved Joan, in her last years of life mom live with us in a Guest house and several time a week "Joan" would go over to talk to her, Mom was in the fashion industry for many years and loved clothing.. She is gone now but still lives in my mind,,
Joan Az (((HUGGS)))

[Teresa]

Michelle,
This is a question my son and daughter asked if I should tell my mother , she's an active 86 and still has 2 jobs ! I thought hard about this and can't see what I have to gain,I'm sure she would be OK about it, one of her lobs is helping in a charity shop, and she's mentioned CDers buying clothes from her , she didn't make anything of it . I would also put her an awkward situation, I don't mind if she passed it on to my sister but my brother-in-law is one of those guys you just wouldn't want to tell , he would pass ridiculous and possibly obscene comments at anytime and anywhere.
I came close to telling because her other job is in the Art Centre, she ushers people to their seats in the cinema and serves refreshments. I wanted to see the "New Girlfriend " film so she may have thought it odd that I would want to see a film about a CDer, possibly by myself .

Sorry it doesn't answer you question directly but I doubt even if she knew and was OK about it going out for a meal wouldn't happen !

[gailbridges]

My mom has been deceased for nearly 10 years. And she never got even a HINT of Gail-ness from me.
But I can tell you that I don't think she would have appreciated Gail. (even though I think Gail manifesting herself when I was 14 or 15 had a lot to do with mom's personality: Let's just say she wore the pants in the family.)

In fact, I recall watching the news with her one time, and there was some story about Gay Liberation (that's what it was called back in the 70s, kiddies), and I probably said something to the effect of, "What would you think if I was gay, mom?" and without missing a beat she said, "I'd put you in the mental hospital until you were cured."

It's little wonder we girls walk a tightrope. I think we all expect that kind of reaction in one way or another. At least that's my experience.

[lisalove]

My mom died in 86, I think it was, just after my sister graduated high school.
I was visiting her in the hospital and she said after all these years and her hating that I wore girl's clothes, That she wanted to see me in those clothes.
At the time she didn't know that I was fully dressing, make up, wigs, shoes, everything.
So I told her Lisa will come to see her.
The next day I got all dolled up and drove to the hospital. I walked into her room and said hi mom, look who's here to see you.
She opened her eyes and a big altho weak smile came on to her face and she whispered, It's nice to finally meet you Lisa.
We chatted for quite awhile. It was actually the longest I ever stayed for a visit. We talked about a lot of stuff and she even apologized for throwing out all my clothes everytime she found them, and also for not letting me be who I am, basically hating that I dressed.
I dressed one more time for her and it was about a week or so, she died.

[justmetoo]

My mother has met my femme self and is very supportive. She says it's like having a pair of wonderful twins, between my male side and my femme side.

[Elli87]

nope I figure its best to never show anything that would make me vulnerable to her, She will try to use it to manipulate me

[Danielle_cder]

My mom knows, we usually spend Halloween together it's always fun

[StefaniLara]

No one in my family knows, and that's how it's going to stay since they are not accepting of anything that's outside the norm.

[kaleyg]

Lisa -- such a heart-warming story!


My mom died in 86, I think it was, just after my sister graduated high school.
I was visiting her in the hospital and she said after all these years and her hating that I wore girl's clothes, That she wanted to see me in those clothes.
At the time she didn't know that I was fully dressing, make up, wigs, shoes, everything.
So I told her Lisa will come to see her.
The next day I got all dolled up and drove to the hospital. I walked into her room and said hi mom, look who's here to see you.
She opened her eyes and a big altho weak smile came on to her face and she whispered, It's nice to finally meet you Lisa.
We chatted for quite awhile. It was actually the longest I ever stayed for a visit. We talked about a lot of stuff and she even apologized for throwing out all my clothes everytime she found them, and also for not letting me be who I am, basically hating that I dressed.
I dressed one more time for her and it was about a week or so, she died.

[Diane Smith]

Lisalove, that's an amazing and uplifting story. I wish I could have had a similar experience.

My mom died in 2005. She probably knew I was dressing up, because the evidence was all over the house if she had any observational skills at all. But she never mentioned it, and neither did I. She had been somewhat supportive of my early explorations when I was a child, but withdrew all interest in it about the time I started junior high. I just never had the nerve to bring it up again. She was liberal politically, but I'm not sure that would have translated into understanding or supporting her own child.

- Diane

[alwayshave]

Lisalove, what a great story.

Michelle, My mother probably knows that I dress, mother knows all. But at 85 I don't think I'd ever discuss my dressing with her.

[Lily Catherine]

I was out to my mum more than a month ago. She insists she had a son, and probably has somewhat of a NIMBY attitude towards me cross-dressing; she seems okay with the visible presence of transgendered individuals in certain areas of Singapore and has actually remarked that some of them are much prettier than GGs. That said, from both her tone and word choices when she first discussed the issue, she definitely fears for me being out and worries that I may ruin my life simply by being out to the world, and perhaps leave a scar on her for not remaining in the closet.

I have never showed her pictures of me cross-dressed; I anticipate an effectively foregone conclusion no matter how pretty she (or anyone else) thinks I am. It irks me, however, that I have yet to reach a level of vulnerability and openness that I can freely discuss this with her. I have attempted to reach out this part of me to her on a few occasions already, but judging by her tone she doesn't seem too keen on discussing it.

Mum: "If you found out your son dressed as a girl, how would you feel?"
Me: (beat) "I'd be surprised at worst."

Most positively the last answer she would ever want to hear.

[MissTee]

My Mom is well into her 80's and does not know, and I have no plans to share. She would not be accepting. She is still carrying on strong about how wicked and evil Caitlyn is. Seeing or hearing about Misty would ruin our relationship for certain.

[Marcie Rose]

My mother is 82, a former fundamentalist pastor and unfortunately homophobic and transphobic, so it can never happen. She would likely disown me and I don't want to find out. I wish she could accept it so I could dress up for holiday dinners. She almost caught me a couple of times when I was a teenager but I was able to talk my way out of it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle, My :love:mother has been gone for 20yrs. now and that's one burden that I didn't want to put on her.:daydreaming:

[Sarah-RT]

My mom knows about me but I haven't shown myself to her, one time recently I had changed into Sarah and my mom was doing things about the house and knocked on my bedroom door, she asked could she come in so I gave her a "if you want to..." As in I'm dressed alternatively. She came in anyway and was like "wow! ...wow!" She then said to turn around. She seemed fairly amazed which was nice, whether she meant it or not doesn't matter. I was combing a few knots out of my wig and she gave me some tips on brushing hair before she went back to doing whatever she was up to

Sarah

[Steph_CD_62]

My mother passed away a few years ago, but even if she was alive I don't think I could never introduce my mom to my other side.
My mom did know about my dressing but we never talked about it, although my current wife and my mom talked about it one day. Not 100% sure what they talked about, I just know my wife said they talked about me wearing panties and other lingerie.

[Sheila11]

Here is my story of mom meeting Sheila. Very Funny.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220450-CAUGHT!!!!!-can-t-stop-laughing&highlight=

[S. Lisa Smith]

My Mom know and we went shopping many years ago. She is supportive so it's very nice.

[Ceera]

Can't ever happen, for me. My mom might have been okay with this aspect of me, but I will never know. A younger female cousin of mine came out as Lesbian in her late twenties, and moved in with her female Partner.. They lived in another state, so we didn't have much chance to interact with her after that development, and I am not sure how her parents or sister took it. Mom was clearly uneasy about my cousin's relationship, but didn't disown my cousin. My father never spoke about my cousin being lesbian. My father was so homophobic that he could hardly say the word. So while they lived, I severely repressed any inclinations in myself that were other than straight.

After they were both gone, I started exploring my feminine aspect, but I still didn't take it very far until my wife also passed away. Months after losing my wife, I came out to my daughter, who fully accepted me, in any gender presentation or orientation.

[kiwidownunder]

We are estranged
This includes all my own family long story


Kiwi

[sugarbabe]

No, my mother has not met me. I'm pretty sure she would be okay with it. I've thought about telling her, but I'm still learning about myself so I figure it isn't really worth it right now.

[ShriekCassandra]

I still live with my mom (who turned 50 this year) and her partner until I can get a decent paying job and earn / save enough for me to move into my own place. I really have no idea how she'd react and I don't like to entertain the thought of her not accepting it and being the cause of unwanted drama or arguments when I'm still dependent on her in giving me a bed to sleep in rent free. she never seemed to have a problem with me getting my ears pierced and wearing my hoop earrings most of the time or growing my hair past shoulder length though so that does give me a few inklings of optimism at least. Will just have to wait and see when the right time comes.

[2B Natasha]

Has my mother met me? That is a good question. Have I ever flat out told her? No. But the question that lingers is. Does she know, and if she did would she care. My wife and her mother swear that she knows. How my wife's family all know is a long story. Not bad, mean or vindictive. Just how life unfolds sometimes. But does my mother know. First off let me say that my mother is probably the smartest person I have ever met. She has never failed to be top of her class at anything she has ever tried. Also. My mother lives right next door to me. We share a backyard and routinely walk into each others house to get what we need. We even lived together after my first wife and I separated and until I got my feet under me again. She has done mixed laundry and folded all of it. That matters only in the sense that my current wife and I are two very different sizes. She being a larger size then me. Ergo. All the smaller clothes that are in there cannot be explained to be for her. They wouldn't fit. Also. Since myself and my wife are dorks and wear the same PJ's from Lane Bryant and they are very girly it would be hard to not notice. So those things along with others, many others, would lead me to believe that Yes my mother knows. But I've never told her.

[antonyio]

no ,none of my family except my kids know as I haven't spoken or seen them for nearly a year now,i know they wouldn't agree as they never accepted a friends husband doing it

[Georgina]

I don't know for sure if my mother knew or not. She died far too young but, if she had lived longer, she may have ended living with me. I would like to think I would have told her and that she would have accepted me.

[Donnagirl]

Sadly my mother passed away whilst I was in that angry, grumpy denial phase a few years ago... It makes me a little sad when I think how I treated everyone back then, I was such an a$&@hole...

I like to think she would have accepted Donna the way everyone else has... (Although it's a slow process with some). Closest I can get was (finally) introducing Donna to my eldest sister who I managed to alienate during those dark days. She came to our hotel room on the afternoon before the ball... (she's aware the pic is being posted everywhere - permission granted!)

[Chancey289]

No, no one in my family knows I crossdress besides my brother and he just doesn't care. It's whatever to him. Some of my friends know too though because I played D&D with them dressed and they were pretty accepting.

I'd probably come out to my grandma before anyone else because I think her reaction would be more accepting.

[grace7777]

Hi Michelle,

My mother has never met Grace. She is 81 years old.

I get the feeling that my mother suspects something. In July of 2014 I was visiting her, and my sister was there also, and my mother says she has jewelry she wants to get rid of and tells my sister to take what she wants and a minute or so later, she tells me that if there is something I want to go ahead and take it. I looked through the jewelry and found nothing I wanted.

In another incident a few years ago, I was visiting her, and I had some toiletry items out including clear finger nail polish, and she put them in a clear makeup bag. So she knows I was using finger nail polish. She said later I felt you could use this bag.

I think she would be accepting, but am not 100% sure. Last Christmas I was planning on revealing Grace to her, but ended up not doing it. I really felt bad about not doing it.

With each day that passes, the stronger the feeling becomes that I need to reveal Grace to her. My next good opportunity will probably be this Christmas. This is something if I do it, I want to do it in person.

Now if my mother asked me about crossdressing, I would be honest and tell her, but I do not see her bringing up the topic. One idea I have thought of is to ask her if she has ever watched Caitlyn Jenner's reality show, and this way I could get a feeling as to how she would react if I revealed Grace to her. Barring a real negative reaction, I feel I would have the opportunity to reveal myself to her.

Right now I feel a lot of guilt for not coming out to her.

[Ally 2112]

My mother has never met me but as i have said in other post im pretty sure she knew with some of the comments she made when i was younger and trying on her cothes

[Sophie Yang]

Michelle,
My mom is now 82. About a year ago I quit travelling for work where I would only be home roughly every other weekend. She and I would go out to lunch on the weekends I was home. Shortly after I started working from home, I asked her to read the June 2014 Time article The Transgender Tipping Point. The next weekend Sophie showed up for lunch. The funny thing was she would not let me in until I convinced her that it was me. The only thing I clearly remember from the initial conversation as I walked in was, “are you wearing heels?” I was actually wearing a pair of wedges. I don’t recall exactly what she said, but it was something along the lines, “if it makes you happy, I don’t have a problem with it. So now instead of going out every other weekend for lunch, we go out every Sunday.

One of the first things she wanted to do was go shopping at a Coldcreek Water store that was going out of business. Sweet gesture, but I still have clothes packed away from when I was travelling from my old apartment. Not having to pack while travelling makes the commute a whole lot easier. She is also active in a number of senior centers in the area. The centers have special holiday meals and free tickets to the final dress rehearsal at a local community theater. Sophie always takes her to both. One day I mentioned that I might go shoot some pool after lunch. She said I should go to one of the senior centers that has a pool table. She mentioned that one of the gals there hustles the older gents and that I could get some pointers from her.

I have this cheap watch and a much nicer watch that quit working. I am sure all the cheap one needs is a new battery. I finally got a new battery for the nicer watch. She wanted to buy me a watch for my birthday this week. I think I finally convinced her that Sophie doesn’t need another watch only after showing her my three working watches.

Way off topic, but indirectly related to my mom.
Late last year, my brother called me up to help install an outside handrail at my mom’s place. Sophie doesn’t do manual labor. While installing the handrail, my brother told me a funny story about the color wheel and how he almost flunked an art class. I was laughing so hard. How do you almost flunk an art class? His color combinations were atrocious. It turns out he is color blind which I did not know. When we finished, I told him about Sophie, something he did not know.

I told him we should have lunch to celebrate his birthday. I did not tell him that Sophie was showing up. He showed up late because of traffic. He walked into the restaurant, looked at me, and then he continued into the restaurant looking for his brother. Sophie followed him in, sat at a table, and told him to have a seat on his return trip when he did not see me in the restaurant. We went and shot a couple of games of pool afterwards. I don’t recall exactly what he said when I asked him what he thought, but he something like “he was trying to process it.” His next encounter with Sophie was when we both flew down to San Francisco for our sister’s birthday. I told my sister when I was in San Francisco several years ago, but we never did anything together until this last trip.

About a month ago, I went over to my brother’s house to pick up a circular saw. He and his wife were outside finishing up dinner and drinking some wine. So we got to talking and his wife says that she would like to meet Sophie. So we ended up going out for a nice Sushi lunch the following week. As we were leaving, I asked her, “is there was anything she wanted to ask?” She said “no, she just wanted to meet Sophie.”

So to-date, all my siblings, (two brothers and a sister and her family), mother and step mother know about Sophie. Just my step mother and youngest brother have not met Sophie. It is about time my step mother meets Sophie. We usually go out to a restaurant to celebrate birthdays. Seems like an opportune time to do it. My father died before Sophie showed up.

[Fi-Fi LeFemme]

I'm so pleased for so many of us that have such accepting parents. It makes me feel good inside to know this.
My mother eventually found out during my late teens that I liked to dress. Once she even bought me some make-up.
When she found out, we had a heart-to-heart about it. She blamed herself-though I told her no one was to blame.
I still got the impression that even though she (sort of) accepted it, she still wasn't wholly accepting.
I would only dress when they went on holiday and I would house sit.
She never saw me dressed and to be fair, I'm not sure I could "inflict" my other self on her at the time. My mother died a number of years ago. I never truly thanked her for support at the time (ie: not tellibng my Father) and that still weighs on me.
She would have 88 now.

[Samantha_Smile]

My mom died in 86, I think it was, just after my sister graduated high school.
I was visiting her in the hospital and she said after all these years and her hating that I wore girl's clothes, That she wanted to see me in those clothes.
At the time she didn't know that I was fully dressing, make up, wigs, shoes, everything.
So I told her Lisa will come to see her.
The next day I got all dolled up and drove to the hospital. I walked into her room and said hi mom, look who's here to see you.
She opened her eyes and a big altho weak smile came on to her face and she whispered, It's nice to finally meet you Lisa.
We chatted for quite awhile. It was actually the longest I ever stayed for a visit. We talked about a lot of stuff and she even apologized for throwing out all my clothes everytime she found them, and also for not letting me be who I am, basically hating that I dressed.
I dressed one more time for her and it was about a week or so, she died.

All the feels :hugs:

[Judith96a]

Hmmm... No my mother has not met Judith.

Whether she ever will, and whether I'd want her to, is unlikely. We don't really have the best of relationships. To say that we tolerate each other (and no more) is probably reasonably accurate. She probably suspects something. Ironically, given how much she lamented, while my brother an I were growing up, that girls were so much better than boys, she probably would have preferred that I had been born female. However, the only thing, from her perspective, that would be worse than me crossdressing would be the embarrassment (for her) of any of her "friends" discovering it!

So... I'm not inclined to subject Judith to mother's "tender mercies". Life is too short!

[lisalove]

Well Thank You ladies for your kind words.
I am just so sorry it took her dieing to finally accept me being different. It was her way of making peace with the world, and getting ready to meet her maker.

[countrygirl]

My mom knows I crossdress as my sister asked her why I had pantyhose on my bed. When I got home from work she said that I should watch what I leave out. After that it has been more of DADT. I would love to have her meet Amanda at some point.

[flatlander_48]

My mother died in 1988, long before DeeAnn appeared. However, on occasion I have wondered what her reaction would be. It would be hard to predict as she was a bundle of contradictions. She was a computer programmer and system manager who never went to college. She did crossword puzzles in ink and rarely, rarely made a mistake. She could drink a lot of guys under the table. She was usually very stylishly dressed, but was never afraid of getting her hands dirty. At one point she worked for a closeted gay man. She was more ticked that he never admitted anything than she was at his being gay. She was an ace COBOL programmer who was often overdrawn.

So, if I had to guess, she would have been PISSED. But, about an hour later, we would have hugged and cried. A half hour after that we would probably be paging through the latest VOGUE and discussing what would look good on both of us.

Anyway, that's what I'd like to think. One thing I do know for sure is that I was closer to her than my father. In terms of personality, I am more like my mother. My father and I are almost complete opposites.

DeeAnn

[AngelaYVR]

I sometimes toy with the idea of telling my mum but don't really have a good reason to. Mind you, when I go to visit her I often take some laundry to do and in the summer I hang it on the line. Lots of panties and no guy underwear has not yet caught her attention but it might! I think if she knew, it would not really be a huge surprise.

[BiancaEstrella]

My mother knows of this side of me, and does not approve. Things are great between us otherwise. Oh well.

[Karen RHT]

My mother actually helped me dress on two separate occasions, at ages 11 and 12 for Halloween. After the second time, she told me I should stop. Of course I continued to dress "in secret" but as others have said before me, "mothers always know." Had I been in the situation I am now, where my wife is ok with me dressing, I'm sure mom would have been fine with me dressing had I told her before she passed.


Karen

[KayMcLaughlin]

Lisa, that's a truly wonderful story. Thanks for sharing. :)

My mom doesn't know yet, but it's a matter of time and timing... We live on opposite coasts, so it's not something that has to happen on any specific timeline. I have high hopes however - my mtf sister paved the way for me about a decade ago...! She's been very accepting of my sister, so I think things will go OK.

[Alice_2014_B]

My Mom doesn't know.
:)