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St. Eve
08-17-2015, 10:07 PM
Hi Y'all

So today was filled with firsts...

First time in 20 years anyone has seen me dressed in person.
First time anyone (my therapist today) has ever seen for more than a couple minutes dressed en femme and sat with me with complete acceptance. I hope to have a wig and learn some make-up techniques soon.
First time ever outside with a skirt, hose, heels, and "breasts." I walked from my therapists office to the car, drove 20 minutes home, and then walked from the car to my back door.
First time staying dressed for hours while my SO and several friends all knew it was happening.
First time dressing alone in my own home with no pornography, no masturbation, and no fixation on sexual fantasy.
First time getting dressed or undressed with no shame spiral. It did take me about 20 minutes to settle sitting with my therapist, but there was no shame.

I feel great!
A bunch of pink fog, of course, and a lot of the freedom and self-esteem and self-acceptance.
While my SO wants no part of my CD or TG issues at the moment, I am grateful that she is willing to give me some space to come to my authentic truth after 40 years of hiding.

Thank you all for your support and feedback. I do not think I could be walking through this without y'all.
You can check out the outfit I wore out today if you scroll down the page here (I posted pictures of the whole outfit a day after buying my first heels:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?230638-Still-jazzed-with-the-new-shoes-feels-great-with-striped-socks-and-white-tights

I wore the pencil skirt with the striped socks and black boots outfit. Yippee!!

Peace
Eve

Pat
08-17-2015, 10:34 PM
Congratulations on a day of firsts! May it be your first day of many happy firsts. :)

Julie Denier
08-17-2015, 10:37 PM
Good for you! ;)

StefaniLara
08-17-2015, 11:17 PM
So happy for you! Hope your adventure is just as amazing. :)

chelyann
08-18-2015, 12:10 AM
way to go
go have more fun :)

Helen_Highwater
08-18-2015, 03:23 AM
Taking those steps can't have been easy. Well done you. Hopefully your SO will come around in time and then who knows where that will lead. Don't rush it, after 40 years, taking it steady is more likely to bear favourable results.

JeanetteX
08-18-2015, 03:51 AM
Yaayhhh....I'm celebrating with you Eve!!! It must have been a wonderful experience for you and I admire the courage you have shown. Good luck with everything girl...I'm sure these steps will take everything to a new different level

Marcelle
08-18-2015, 05:34 AM
Hi Eve,

It certainly was a day of first and hopefully there will be more for you. CONGRATS . . . it is a big step.

Cheers

Isha

donnaS
08-18-2015, 05:45 AM
That's awesome St. Eve.
You must have been floating on cloud nine!
I know it feels really great for freedom and
Self expression.

AbigailJordan
08-18-2015, 05:56 AM
Congrats Eve. So happy that you had some time for you and found some comfort.

Hopefully this will be just the start of your adventures. All the best for the future.

Lots of Luv
Abi xxx

Katey888
08-18-2015, 06:03 AM
Yaaaay!!! :cheer:

Woo Hoo!!!!

:Party2:

In all seriousness - well done! That's a lot of firsts in one go... dare I say a bit like Cait Jenner setting personal bests in the 1976 Olympic Decathlon...? :hiding:

Enjoy that light headed feeling, but beware of the onset of pink stuff... It can take away all reason and accountability...

:pinktornado:

Katey x

Krisi
08-18-2015, 06:10 AM
It sounds like you're making progress and had a great day. I'm a little surprised you went out dressed without a wig but maybe you have long hair naturally.

My wig cost only about $70 (less when on sale) and I would much sooner have a wig than hose or heels.

Claire Cook
08-18-2015, 06:21 AM
Hi Eve,

That is a day to remember and cherish. Self-acceptance is so important.

irene9999
08-18-2015, 09:32 PM
Congrats! Sounds like you had a great day

Robin414
08-18-2015, 09:45 PM
Way to go girl! 😄

St. Eve
08-18-2015, 09:58 PM
Grateful for all the support!! Still feeling great about it today.
And, one more first I forgot to mention - bought my first dress - $4 at good will and fits like it was made for me....I will post a picture in the next few days.
Thanks ladies!!

Peace
Eve

BLUE ORCHID
08-19-2015, 06:58 AM
Hi St. Eve, That is a day that you will remember for many years.:hugs:

CynthiaD
08-19-2015, 04:22 PM
Congratulations, and many happy returns!

Alice_2014_B
08-19-2015, 04:52 PM
Awesome!
I feel absolutely no attraction to pornography whilst en femme or even whilst thinking about being dressed up.
Honestly, I'm losing a taste for porn all together, even in male-mode.
I'm happy you're having such a positive experience.

:)

Bobbi46
08-19-2015, 05:06 PM
Wish I could great for you to do that, get out the wobbly water and get plastered!

Stephanie47
08-19-2015, 05:37 PM
I have to concur with Alice's comment (#19). Too many people who do not understand anything about cross dressing seem to zero in on the websites that depict sexual activity. There is nothing about cross dressing that precludes or encourages viewing porn or masturbating en femme. Just being at ease with oneself and being self accepting should be anyone's first goal. Your wife may never "come around" to accepting cross dressing. However, I think if she sees self acceptance and confidence in yourself, she may realize wearing women's clothing is only a small part of you. I always encourage balance.