Ever want to tell a stranger?

[Alice_2014_B]

Just wondering if anyone else wanted to just tell a complete stranger, like at a bar for example,
"I dress up as a woman."

:)

[Bobbi46]

some times but going down that route could just be a bit wild, I mean that person would not know you but what if afterwards he mentioned this fact to someone else describing what you looked like and that person actually knew you or knew of you. The cat would well and truly be out of the bag and could get back to work colleagues or your family/friends, would you want that?.

[CynthiaD]

Well, no. But more often than not, when I'm interacting with strangers, I'm already completely en femme, so I'd just be stating the obvious.

[tictac43]

The thought has definitely crossed my mind! Mainly at females though. Hoping that they would be curious to see or something haha!

[kimdl93]

Not ever. Ive been in a number of bars dressed as a woman, and unfortunately, the fact that I am GM was more apparent than I might wish. I didnt have to tell anyone the obvious.

But I guess the question is about telling strangers while in male mode...I certainly have no urge to do so. After all, they are strangers....why would I care to share this?

[Elli87]

I did that once at the Induction center right after I got drafted still manged to get the girls number though. I used to be allot more confident then, working on getting back to that place where I was bulletproof and bubling giddy and full of life.

[Robin414]

I totally did, I even started a thread, the response was so unbelievable (in a good way) I nearly fainted! Mind you given the circumstances and a lot of consideration it wasn't entirely unexpected though...but I still nearly fainted, OK! 😀

[Jenniferathome]

I'm pretty sure I do that EVERY SINGLE TIME I am out. It's kinda obvious.

In fact, I HAVE had that conversation with a couple in a bar one night. It was educational for them. Of course the woman who cuts my wig knows.

Do you mean telling someone when you re in guy mode?

[Nadya]

It's funny, I had an experience the other day while dressed in guy mood shopping for cosmetics. The saleswoman asked if I needed help finding something for someone when I was looking for the new Urban Decay Electric pallet. I just told her it was for me and she got really happy and excited trying to help me find things. :) Stranger don't really bother me. It's like "what do I have to lose."

[ShriekCassandra]

I avoid interacting with strangers like a plague when I'm out, so no.

[MelanieAnne]

Just wondering if anyone else wanted to just tell a complete stranger, like at a bar for example,
"I dress up as a woman."

In a word.....NO.

[DanaR]

...........But more often than not, when I'm interacting with strangers, I'm already completely en femme....... This me too. What is cool about this, is that you can get into some interesting conversations with GG's though. Actually it is fun interacting with strangers when you are out, but make sure they are the right ones.

[Tracii G]

I have told quite a few strangers I CD.
They were of course the SA's I come in contact with at stores like Macy's or ULTA.
I have no problem fessing up to strangers about my CDing.

[Teresa]

Alice,
Everytime you shop you're making that statement but I know what you mean ! It's probably best to bite your tongue it's not worth getting a backlash for it .

Funny thing last time I shopped, the young girl that served me was OK about me buying shoes but she didn't appear to want to watch me trying them on but she was OK about taking the money !

[Alice_2014_B]

Yes, there are more facets to this than I originally thought.
I still enjoy reading the comments on shopping.
My original concept was being in drab and telling someone you just met that you will most likely never see again.
Its someone that would not expect it.
Employees at a store selling anything for women are generally prepared for a guy shopping for girl things for himself, whether dressed up or not.

:)

[Kate Simmons]

What makes you think that a "total stranger" would care, one way or the other?

[connie johnson]

I did. Twice.
The first time was at a drag show in Key a West. After the show my wife and I were talking to one of the drag queens and I said "I love your outfit, but I only dress at home. She said oh, we have to talk some more, but we never did. I was secretly hoping she would take me in the back to the wardrobe area and get me all dolled up. LOL.

The second time was at Macy's. I was looking for black microfiber panties. The SA approached and asked what was I looking for. I told her microfiber panties. She kept trying to steer me to stuff that wouldn't support the boys (you know what I mean) I finally told her they were for me. She didn't blink and then helped me find the ones I wanted.

[Claire Cook]

Yes I have (usually to GG's) and have never had a negative response.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Alice, I have shared some of my cell phone pictures with some SAs'.:daydreaming:

[Krisi]

I have not had the urge to do that and I think a bar would be a really bad place to do it if you decide to.

For most of us, they have probably guessed it already if we've been around them for more than a minute or two.

[sometimes_miss]

Sure. the pink fog is thick, especially when I've had a few days off, dressed as a woman all the time, it seems like a great idea, as I convince myself that what I'm doing is perfectly normal. Then I remember that >99% of the world does NOT think that what I'm doing is normal at all, and I hesitate, and change my mind.

[Alice_2014_B]

For me it always just a weird thought, nothing I've seriously considered.
:)

[BiancaEstrella]

I've had a bit of success doing this, but I can also usually vet people pretty well and if I feel any degree of hesitation, I pull up. Hasn't really failed me yet.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Alice,
Nope! Never had the urge to bring a complete stranger into MY world.
I do sometimes find it easier to talk to a stranger (for a brief conversation), but to
tell them that I CD ? That's not happening. Although I can see the benefits of being open to
an SA, their assistance, and professional advice would be worth exposing myself, I just haven't
been in a situation where I needed that. Just talking to someone in a bar (not that I go to a lot of bars)( if ever)
would seem to me to be a bit reckless.
You just never know when the right person, at the right time, will come along.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Sandra119]

Sometimes I would like to tell a stranger I think it would be a somewhat relief as none of my friends and family know I'm a Crossdresser

[Candice June Lee]

I am not sure I could directly walk up and tell a person about that side. But it's been kept bottled for so long it's hard to be open at times. With the world being so violent about things I would say no not now. The best defense is not to offend.

[jjjjohanne]

I remember the first time I ever told a clerk in a store that I was shopping for myself. I was SO scared! She surprised me by simply rolling with it. She helped me and gave me a dressing room. Then they brought me more outfits to try on. It blew my mind. These days, I often say what I want and eventually clarify that I am shopping for myself, if necessary. Otherwise, I might start with, "I am a crossdresser and I am looking for..." That approach is helpful when what I want is special to me. Like I want longer tops because I am so tall.

Once, I was on an airplane and a stewardess who was riding to another airport sat beside me. I asked her, "Have you ever had a crossdresser on your plane?" She said, "No, or at least not that I noticed." I said, "We call it 'flying pretty' and it is a major achievement." She acknowledged what I said. Then later we chatted about various other topics.

[GenieGirl]

I have had a few instances of this happening.

1)Girl mode - Spent the whole night at the bar talking to these girls about football. At the end of the night I asked one of them if they wanted to see what I normally look like as I was getting ready to close out and had my ID. She was so confused! She thought I was just a girl with a deep voice the whole time. I thought she knew. I answered the 21 questions and we ended up becoming good bar friends.

2)Guy mode - Drunk at a bar talking to a few girls. Can't remember how it came up but I told them. They wanted to see pictures so I showed them. They were very positive about it. That's about all I remember of that night :D.

3)Guy mode - At a bar with some girls. At the end of the night some random cute girl comes up to me.
Her: "Are you trans?"
Me: "Yes. How did you know?"
Her: "You're beautiful!"
Me: "How did you know that?"
She never told me. Definitely the most interesting thing anyone has ever asked me in a bar.

The trend here is that I must live at the bar right?

[Alice_2014_B]

I have had a few instances of this happening.

1)Girl mode - Spent the whole night at the bar talking to these girls about football. At the end of the night I asked one of them if they wanted to see what I normally look like as I was getting ready to close out and had my ID. She was so confused! She thought I was just a girl with a deep voice the whole time. I thought she knew. I answered the 21 questions and we ended up becoming good bar friends.

2)Guy mode - Drunk at a bar talking to a few girls. Can't remember how it came up but I told them. They wanted to see pictures so I showed them. They were very positive about it. That's about all I remember of that night :D.

3)Guy mode - At a bar with some girls. At the end of the night some random cute girl comes up to me.
Her: "Are you trans?"
Me: "Yes. How did you know?"
Her: "You're beautiful!"
Me: "How did you know that?"
She never told me. Definitely the most interesting thing anyone has ever asked me in a bar.

The trend here is that I must live at the bar right?

That's what I'm talking about Genie: someone you're talking to already, like making a new bar-friend (LOL).
Thanks for sharing.
Most the time a bar is where its at, lol.

:)

[mechamoose]

No. I have wanted a stranger to see me and move along without issue.

I don't want to be recognized, I want to be invisible.

I want to skip around in a skirt and heels and have it result in --Zero-- reaction.

We all deserve to be invisible...

- MM

[Jennie2]

Yes, mostly in shops, even if I don't say it directly, I let them know. I was asked last week 'are you going to wear the wig and boots tonight' Yes, as soon as I get home. It's great because most of them accept it and say I'll just get your change. I love it

[Cynthiasfcd]

I've only told others in a San Francisco bar called Divas which caters to transsexuals, cd's and admirers, I loved showing them my pics on my phone. They were very supportive and complimentary.

[Paula_56]

I love dropping this on SA's when shopping endrab, "The dress is for me" Most never miss a beat, and often it starts a fun conversation.

[Lacey New]

Well, I guess when I go to Dress Barn and ask to try on the dress, it is generally a giveaway that I am a crossdresser

[STACY B]

Telling is a thing of what is right for me at the time,, If telling will make it easier for me to do something or get something and it won't hurt me anyway I will tell. But just coming out of the blue and blurting it out just to say it No. Like if I am looking for something special and I am in a hurry and the lady ask who I am shopping for I tell her Me. But if does me no good to tell some Goof ball and try and convince them about us and try and sway them to accept us,, I don't waste my time,, I am no right fighter,, Live and let live,, Being a Man was easy as Hell,, An I am going to make this Look easy too,,,lol,,,,

[Amanda M]

Only if they ask.

[Laurana]

Everywhere I go I look at the women and think "I bet my panties are cuter than hers".

But yes, I have wanted to just walk up to a stranger(probably a women) and say "Wanna see whose wearing the cuter panties?" And then just walk away.

[Jennifer B]

It's strangely appealing. Probably a need to get things off my chest because where I live I can't come out as a CD.

But I've sort of done it in jest a few times far from home. Once a female friend was prodding her bust in a bar. She had a new dress on and was disappointed at the effect it had on her cleavage. I told her she could borrow my breast forms if she wanted. She thought that was brilliant. And it was obvious for the rest of the evening that she didn't know if I was serious or joking. I'm a coward so I didn't confirm anything.

[Dana44]

There are certain situations. I was at Austin pride and stooped at a Men's booth. One man started taking to me and wondering what my interest was. I told him my male name and he was surprised. I explained to him what I was and he called me a chimera. I explained the Androgynous side of me and introduced My SO saying that she was a great women. He asked me a lot of questions and then gave me a great hug. It was really nice of him. He said that I should come and share my experiences. I did put my name and contact information on their journal.

[Bobbi46]

I have not ever told a stranger but where I bought my bra on a second visit I was able to explain the reason why I dressed in lingerie and also reinforced nicely the point that I was not gay or anything like that but the fact was lingerie is more comfortable to wear that guy stuff, I did not know this sa but since I think we are becoming closer than just a customer/SA relationship. So nice when this sort of thing happens.

[Sharon B.]

About the only time I have is telling the sales associate in a woman's specialty store that the items I was looking at were for me.

[heatherdress]

No - I never wanted to tell a stranger that I crossdress. It does not seem to be exciting, or interesting, or meaningful.

[DaphneMiller]

Closest I have come is when I was picking up a clothing order for my wife.
The shop assistant was asking me to confirm the usual details, such as postcode, then name. She said just the surname will do, '"because you don't look like an Andrea* "
I laughed, and said 'well you haven't seen me dressed up for a Saturday night!'.
She laughed too, but judging from her expression I'm sure she was trying to work out if I was really joking or not...

Daphne
x

* Name changed to protect the innocent...

[SHINY-J]

Depends on the circumstances, but if I met someone knowing that I would probably never see them again and the subject was brought up, I would definitely feel more comfortable telling them than I would telling a close friend or family member.

[Alice_2014_B]

I agree; it definitely depends on the circumstances.
:)

[sara.rafaela]

Hi, I have had discussions of this nature at a bar while dressed. Some people talk to me quite seriously and respectfully and I have gotten into meaningful conversations. Some assume I am gay, or transitioning, or want to be a woman. They are curious. Most have difficulty latching onto the subject that I am just a crossdresser and this is a hobby for me. I have never thought of discussing this at a bar while dressed as a boy.

[Majella St Gerard]

mostly sales people, they just go with it, a sale is a sale.

[Cheryl T]

Absolutely not.
I'm not about to tell some stranger. I don't dress for anyone but me. I don't go out to flaunt myself in the public eye and if no one ever knew it would be fine with me.

[Rachel PT]

There have been times I've thought about telling anyone I thought would actually listen, but since I haven't been sold that I can identify that person, discretion has won out!

[stacifox13]

I have gone to aa and one of there biggest sayings( was you are only as sick a your secrets) not to judge anyone but for me I had to tell someone about my cd thanks for this forum. no I did not confess it in AA.

[AllieSF]

Since I talk to anyone anywhere no matter how dressed, I am not sure what I have or have not said to strangers before. I would guess that while in male mode, I probably have not unless the topic was about drag queens or some other "T" related topic. In female mode, it is fairly obvious what my roots are and I know that I have told many strangers, some of whom didn't realize it until I told them, males and females. But that is not too common.

I do understand the need to share and the truth in telling a stranger something when you will never see them again, probably! I am a good conversationalist with strangers and many have told me some of their secrets that not many others had known. We all tend to need to share some special things about ourselves every once in awhile. We just need to learn when and who will respect what we tell them.

[prene]

I did that once.
I was at a topless bar in Vegas and I was underdressed but had on 36D's under my jacket.
A model ... came by and I was like WOW, I told her I was envious of her body.
She stopped and sat down next to me and we talked.
I told her I dressed and opened my jacket and said I wish mine were like hers, she giggled and said I was the first for her.
Cder talking to her about her body.
Prene

[Nancy Sue]

My first response was "No, I have not, and would never, ever, tell someone I do not know that I crossdress."

Then I read the other responses, and yes, I have told SAs when shopping. I they come to assist, and ask who something I am shopping for is for, and it is for me - I say its for me.

But I have not just told total strangers.