Could you ...

[Nigella]

Taken from the RLE thread, slightly out of context, but an interesting question popped into my (empty) head, when I read the whole quote.


... SRS will not change anything ...

SRS is the hidden aspect of transitioning, no-one, except those with a "personal" knowledge will ever know you have had SRS. My question is two fold

For those who have had SRS or are scheduled to have SRS Do you think you could have transitioned if you were told SRS was not an option for you.

For those who are not at the point of contemplating SRS How important is SRS to you and how do you think you would deal with being told SRS is not an option?

[stefan37]

I absolutely would have transitioned if SRS wasn't an option. I am scheduled early Nov provided I get preop clearances. There is chance due to prior surgeries I may not get clearance. In that case I get an orchi and go forward with life as female. To be honest as much excitement I have. I also have some trepidation that things can go horribly wrong.

[whowhatwhen]

Option #2 here:
It's important in having a complete and whole body but I'm not as stressed out and upset by what I have as much as I've seen it in others.
I've already kind of mentally prepared that it might not be possible due to the meds I take so while it would suck to be told it's not an option I think I could live my life just fine regardless.

Besides, the ballsytwins down below are the worst part and an orchie would help with that.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Option #2 for me as well.

I do not fall into the camp of being consumed with having my dangly bits removed from a dysphoria perspective. Mind you I'd be quite happy to be rid of them... I just don't obsess. If I were younger it would definitely be a bigger issue from the following perspective for me... It's complicated...
Having vaginal sex is a high desire while at the same time I remain not that interested in me in general. At my age; 53, as much a sex is on my mind it's not at the level of priority if I were let's say in my 20's 30's early 40's.

I also look at it from a path to srs timing perspective. The likelihood of being in a position to have srs is probably 2-3 years away. Not a financial roadblock just local process and gatekeeping steps. So when I think about srs I realistically think about end age vs. walkin service tomorrow.

My 2cents.
Cheers... Jennifer

[charlenesomeone]

Option 2 as well, I think at some point it will happen, but I know I'm female even if the
plumbing needs remodeling .

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i didnt care nearly as much about my SRS as my FFS...

I was delighted to be able to do both..

I never hated my parts down there...i'd don't love them now...its just the way it is..

one more thing is that it internally feels like i have always been this way...there is no connection in my mind between what i used to have down there...its kind of wierd

[Badtranny]

I'm a confirmed non-op and not afraid to say it. :-)

If I would have had the courage to admit and explore my feelings in adolescence, I MAY have transitioned then, and would LIKELY have wanted the Vajoogie. But, who knows.

As it is, I had the Orchi in 2012, and the scrotum removed just a few months ago.

Like Kait, I was not tortured by my dangler. I kind of reconciled that I was a dude and that's what dudes had sometime around 12 years old. I was a bit of a thinker, but I was incredibly naive as well and that naivete followed me through my 30's.

If SRS was not an option ? I would be furious and probably threaten all sorts of things. ....nah, I wouldn't give a damn.

[Lorileah]

For those who have had SRS or are scheduled to have SRS Do you think you could have transitioned if you were told SRS was not an option for you.

first to address the quote..Every thing you do changes something. I suspect the original was something like "if you are miserable now SRS won't change anything"

To answer the question. I'm old. It is being done solely for my benefit and my peace of mind. Could I live without it? Yes. Would I be content without it? Probably. Would I be happy and feel complete without it...no. At my age the only likely people to see it besides me are medical people. I hope that afterward I can "morph" into the daily world and give up the practice of magic and spells. But that will never happen. It is for me. I have transitioned. This is just the final step

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Maybe melissa when you tuck you should call it part time SRS

......
......

thank you

[Badtranny]

Holy crap that was funny.

The fact is my pickle is almost invisible in clothes, including a bikini so I actually call it SRS except for when nude. ;-)

I love it, partial SRS. 90% SRS. I'm totally post-op except for the penis. ...small detail really. LOL

[Leah Lynn]

I want SRS, but I probably won't make it that far. Age, health, finances will decide. As long as I can fix the face and get the name/gender change, I'll be okay.

Leah

[Zooey]

I'm still a minimum of "years" away from it, and I DO plan to pursue it in time, but for quite a while now I've felt pretty strongly that it's (by several orders of magnitude) the least important part of transition for me.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't think I can know how the lack of SRS would sit on my mind. I didn't know how the effects of taking HRT would be on my mind. I didn't know how being post-transition would sit on my mind. Basically, the only ones that can answer this to me are those that transitioned and then were told medically that they couldn't have it.

[Suzanne F]

I am currently waiting for my SRS to be scheduled. I hope by next June. I just need it for me. It is a highly personal decision and maybe the biggest one I have ever made just for me.
Suzanne

[KellyJameson]

I found the mix of breasts and penis to create a type of discomfort that in some ways was far worse than not transitioning at all. For me it made GD even worse, if that is possible.

I have always carried a powerful image in my mind of what I was "suppose to look like". It is not even an image of what would be considered typical femininity.

I did not realize it "pre-transition" but I had always overlaid this "internalized image of female self" over the female form. I subconsciously blended the two together and projected it outward onto women as my personal definition of beauty and always wondered why few agreed with my idea of beauty.

I never found petite and or curvy women to be attractive because I am neither.

This was an early adaptive measure (coping mechanism) to deal with the consequences of GD.

Also SRS solved a second problem that I did not realize was a problem and that was my lifelong disinterest in sex because sex "felt weird, odd and backwards"

My sexed body did not match my sexed brain. SRS aligned my sexuality and in the last six months I have become very clear "about this" from the relationship I am in, even though I am also realizing how complicated sexual relations are between men and women so maybe not being interested in sex was a good thing.

For me it has always been about my "sexed body first" and socially living as a woman a very distant second.

Even if I had lived on an island with no chance of ever encountering another human being again I would have still continued to suffer GD without transitioning.

GD has always been about the solitary relationship I was having with myself as my sexed and gendered body. Society gendered my body and by extension my life but it was my brain that taught me early on that my body was not "me" (did not naturally fit me as my brain and the mind that lived within it) from what I "felt" through what I experienced "deep knowing of sexed based gender differences" with other children in the first five years of life that continued into adulthood.

I needed my body to be what I always knew it was suppose to be and I knew this very early in life.

No matter what SRS is always a compromise but I feel fortunate for retaining the ability to feel sexual pleasure.

For the first time in my life I can say with conviction and understandiing that I am a sexual being and it has profoundly and is profoundly shaping me into the person I am becoming.

As a woman who is now also for the first time a sexual being I have a deeper understanding and connection not only of and with women but men as well.

People are finally starting to make sense to me. I get now why they feel and act the way they do but I am still an infant in my understanding compared to cisgenders who have been living it since the beginning.

[kimdl93]

From the health standpoint, it seems HRT is ill advised for me according to my physician, so there it is. I can add to an existing elevated cardiovascular risk, or not. It's not black and white...in my case it's a matter of probabilities. I suppose for some people with health compromised in other ways, SRS may be inadvisable. The choice...live with the constraint or take the risk, provided you can find a practitioner willing to go along with it. For now, I'm taking the more cautious approach.

[Starling]

I'm pretty sure my health precludes having SRS, but I would like to have at least the external appearance of a vagina. So an orchie with penectomy and labiaplasty would be my druthers, if I can get it. Otherwise, just an orchie. My penis is completely inconsequential, anyway, especially after a round of HRT a couple of years ago.

I used to think I wouldn't be happy without a functioning vagina, but I believe that particular bus has left the depot. The most important thing to me now is living honestly; I don't worry much about navigating locker rooms.

:) Lallie

[Cheyenne Skye]

The plumbing works fine the way it is. Yes sometimes it can be annoying. For me right now, money is the biggest factor. If at some future time I can afford surgery then I would have to way the other pros and cons. Likelihood of use, maintenance etc. Until then I just avoid leggings and bikini bathing suits.

[becky77]

Well I wasn't driven by the surgery, I was driven to be myself.
So I think it would be the same I would still transition, you have to learn to cope with what you can't change.

I'm pretty scared about the op, so much can go wrong, feels like a gamble to me but a gamble worth taking.

If surgery was denied to me I would be hugely disappointed (gutted), I feel I need this to feel complete.
However I managed three decades without it, so it would be over dramatic to say you can't live without it.

[I Am Paula]

I'm STILL on the fence about SRS. (She says shaking head in shame).
Over two years on hormones have made the package miniscule enough to hide, and I don't think about it much. The only time I really hate my parts is at the Dr. sitting there naked, with nice boobs, and a...you know.

[Eringirl]

great question and some very thought provoking comments.

Option #1
For me, yes SRS is firmly in the plans as it is a major contributor to my GD. So therapist has agreed with me that SRS first, then wait a few years to see what HRT does to face and boobs and decide which of those surgeries, if any, are needed.

Would an inability to have SRS prevent me from transitioning?? Hell NO. But I it is a priority of sorts for me.

My $0.02 worth (less the 30% discount for the exchange rate....)

[arbon]

SRS was something I did not think about much when I transitioned, it seemed to much to hope for. But late last year I started feeling a very great need for it.

I am glad I did it, but I've had a lot of issues and into three months now of lots of pain. My body has been stubborn about healing.

[LeaP]

#2 also. I find the question interesting because my feelings about it have already changed in a number of ways, and more than once. At one time, it was lost in the generalized swamp of raw transition need. I barely thought about it, and it seemed distant and unobtainable anyway. Hormones clarified GD for me enormously, basically reducing it to the physical conflict. That raised the importance of SRS for me. As with Kelly, hormonal changes have influenced my thinking about SRS, to where I have had conversations with my doctor about a more aggressive timeline.

And now, if it were not an option? I could live with it, but would not feel quite right, either. I think I would feel compromised and less-than.

[Nigella]

Thanks for all the responses so far :hugs:

I guess I had socially transitioned long before I sought medical intervention, I was living 24/7 for 3 years before entering the care pathway of my Gender Identity Clinic. I only went on that route when my GD decided to smack me in the face to let me know it was alive and kicking. I just took each step of the care pathway, one step at a time, I did not think about the next step until I was comfortable with what was happening there and then.

SRS only came up about a year before surgery, it was at this point, and only by commenting that I had been on HRT for 12 months, that the lead clinical asked if I was ready for my first referral for SRS, up to that point I had not thought about surgery.

I found it strange that I could look at my body, neck down, and feel no discomfort in seeing meat and two veg, but as soon as I saw my head, that was a different story. As the stage of SRS referral went on, I conditioned myself to accept the worst case, I could live with the bits if necessary, but who know, when push came to shove, would I?

[whowhatwhen]

I am glad I did it, but I've had a lot of issues and into three months now of lots of pain. My body has been stubborn about healing.

This is one of my biggest concerns with getting SRS, I really hope you get well soon.

[Michelle789]

I haven't given thought to SRS. I will probably want to get it eventually. The short answer to OP question is that I will be content with whatever I can get out of transition. I'll be content with whatever resources I have available, whatever treatment or surgery options are available.

Let's go with something that is clearly not available. There is no surgery available at this time that can implant us with female reproductive organs. Do I ever wish I could someday carry a baby? Yes. If hypothetically such a surgery were available, would I consider it? Yes, I'd at least consider it. Is the fact that I'm not going to be able to carry a baby, and that no such surgery exists today, going to stop me from transition? No.

Although the transition processes are still very rudimentary, we've come a long way from what we used to have. Imagine how it must have been 100 years ago for trans identified people to have no HRT, no electrolysis or laser, no surgeries, and the best they can hope for is to put on a wig or grow hair out and wear women's clothes, and have to fully accept their male bodies. And the world was far more unaccepting back then than it is today. And back then it was impossible in all states and countries to change their gender.

Yet, not all transgender people have hid in the closet, even in the day where no medical treatments were possible. Think about the Muxes in Mexico, Hijira in India, or Kathoeey in Thailand. These people have lived as women, or as two-spirited individuals, and have been doing so for centuries without any the medical treatments we have available today.

For me, personally, I'm more concerned with social integration than anything else. That's me.

[Angela Campbell]

I am post SRS so I guess #1

If I couldn't have had it .....meaning if it was suddenly illegal, never existed, or my health precluded it.....I would have found a way to live with it. The same way I live with the fact that I missed an entire life of over 50 years being someone else....cannot change it so I will deal. I would still dream about it, and want it just the same.

If it was financial reasons...I would have found a way somehow. In fact that is what I did.

[Debb]

No serious contemplation of SRS, but since my health insurance covers it pretty nicely, it's a possibility.

I am early in transition, having just begun hormones. The only reason I am currently thinking of surgery is to be able to stop or lessen the HRT .. in other words, maybe an orchiectomy is all I'd do.

It's a ways down the road in any case. First comes full-time in my day-to-day life.

[Frances]

I am glad I did it, but I've had a lot of issues and into three months now of lots of pain. My body has been stubborn about healing.

Me too. It was the most painful thing I ever went through and felt like such an arduous process. I feel great now, though.

As for the question, I was socially transition well before SRS and no one misgendered me. If not for the legal aspects regarding gender markers (at the time), I could have not done it. However, my body keeps changing in wonderful ways since SRS, and I am really glad I did it.

[Angela Campbell]

That is something not much talked about on most forums and chats.....SRS was also the most painful and miserable experience I have ever had.

[Nigella]

That is something not much talked about ...

Arbon has started a thread in TS Body Issues
(http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?230889-The-surgery&p=3798302#post3798302)on this very topic. Agreed it is not a topic that is discussed openly so lets help rectify that, feel free to add the good and the bad, lets not sugar coat the reality of SRS. I for one would like to hear from some of our mature members on the state of surgery in the early years.

Remember TS Body Issues is a members only forum so you can add a little more personal information if you wish :)

[LeaP]

There is nothing wrong with your use of "gender change" and "sex change" per se, Beth. It has been the web of logic imposed in addition. In fact, you have repeatedly said your sex change "failed." You have said HRT-related issues compromised gender change and sex change, etc. Completely different than simple "gender change" which I could accept as gender role change, or "sex change" which I would accept as the physical configuration change.

[Kate T]

I have made a considered and conscious decision that I do not wish to have any surgery associated with transition i.e. BA, FFS or GRS. I have possibly been fairly lucky that due to some medical anomalies (whilst I had a moderately high Testosterone level when tested by my Endo I also had very high levels of binding globulin for testosterone meaning I had low levels of free testosterone) a relatively short time of HRT (6 months so far), Laser and electrolysis have resulted in me being moderately passable already.

I have no real problem reconciling my feelings of gender with my body image. I do have deep personal beliefs that mean I have difficulty reconciling the need for surgery FOR ME to achieve what exactly? It will certainly not make me any more beautiful (at least in my opinion, and since that is the only one that matters then everyone else can go :p). Please don't get me wrong, I understand and fully support those who do have difficulties with their body and need surgery to resolve those difficulties.

Of course it is also entirely plausible that I am either a: young, b: stupid, c: delusional or d: just plain arrogant. I have been accused of being all of those (with the exception of young nowadays!) in the past (and present). Still, as I said above, given that it is pretty much my opinion and that of the people I love and care about that only really matters then I think I can live with whatever people want to throw at me.

[karenpayneoregon]

I am post-op, if SRS/GRS was not an option it would had been difficult to continue but would have and know from my RLT (Real Life Test) I could manage. Both GRS and breast implants were indeed a arduous path to take, mainly for GRS moving to the larger dilator for several weeks and several days after breast augmentation but well worth the price of admission per-say.