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View Full Version : Update on Transition and Life



Brianna_H
08-20-2015, 01:19 PM
Hey, everyone. This site was vital to me when I first realized I'm trans. I made a few friends here and then kinda faded away as work got super busy and I found some other communities to support and be supported by. But I would still like to be part of this community. So here's my update.

1. I've been in therapy for a year. I have a very supportive therapist and endocrinologist through my Kaiser insurance. Very lucky in this regard, as I know how difficult medical issues are for so many trans people. I enjoy seeing my therapist, as I usually get to leave early and get gussied up.

2. I'm still not out at work, but virtually everywhere else I'm Bry, a trans woman. However, I have spoken with my boss the CFO and most senior exec at my company and she is 100% supportive. I've been a great employee and she loved me for it, even before I came out. The construction industry dudes I work with give me a little pause, but basically I can't wait to come out at work and get it all over with.

3. However, my transition is on hold for a bit longer. My wife has been very emotionally supportive, but totally freaked out about dealing with the world as a lesbian couple. She worries about me being hurt or not being taken seriously as the awesome creative person I am. We had a lot of turmoil last year (both of us had a parent pass), and she asked me to hold off on hormones and any other permanent changes for 6 months. That time period ends in September. :D

4. I'm fiercely hoping to start hormones in September. I really just want to get a more feminine shape to my body. I use fake boobs when I dress for public (water baloons ftw!) and they look pretty good, but not the real thing. I don't plan on having any other medical procedures, but I'm open minded about the changes hormones may make in how I feel about my body and future.

5. I've found great support in some online communities for feminism and my home tribe, the roleplaying game nerds, have shown me nothing but love. I've been to a few support groups, but I'm terribly lazy about it.

That covers the basic stuff. I hope everyone around here has been doing okay. I'll try to catch up and participate more.

Other social media stuff available through PM.

Here's a recent pic.

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Kimberly Kael
08-20-2015, 02:22 PM
My wife has been very emotionally supportive, but totally freaked out about dealing with the world as a lesbian couple. She worries about me being hurt or not being taken seriously...

All of which are legitimate concerns. It took years for my wife to get comfortable enough to refer to me as her wife. She didn't grow up dreaming of a life married to a woman, and she has only slowly grown to feel any kinship with the LGBT community even though she has been an outspoken ally for a long time. It's complicated. Her fears about your safety and happiness aren't unfounded, either. We are getting to be a visible community that others foster fear and hate against and that won't cease to be the case any time soon. Your ideas will be viewed with some suspicion and the unconscious tendency all of humankind has to trust others like themselves will work against you, I'm sorry to say.

None of this means you can't have a fulfilling life together. It's just going to be a complicated one, and you both need to acknowledge that and make sure you're up for the challenge. This isn't the life she had in mind and she will need time and support in her own right while deciding how to proceed with you.

Suzanne F
08-20-2015, 02:48 PM
I agree with Kimberly. My wife is going through her own coming out process. She has gradually told people at work and of course since I am out to all friends and family she has had to confront it. She is at a much better place now than 6 months ago. I am so proud of her! She is an exceptionally strong woman and I love her!
Suzanne

charlenesomeone
08-20-2015, 04:17 PM
Welcome back, at least your wife is trying, that's a positive.
I just started hormones as well, but my marriage is over. All the best sister.