wanting pierced ears but scared

[DeniseNJ]

Well now I am retired. I always wanted to get my ears pierced. When a guy gets their ears piercred do they place the holes any different or it it the same placement for M or F. If you don't want to attract too much attention :::what posts would you go with till the holes are healed open...

[Alexa Lynne]

I got my ears pierced about 2 months ago i guess, maybe a tad shorter. I was nervous as heck. The pretty young lady did an awesome job. I didn't even flinch! I got my ears pierced in the center of both ears. Just have to make sure you doctor them 2-3 times a day, everyday, for 6 weeks. IF you can stand a little burning, use alcohol instead of the bottle of stuff they give you. . . I did.

[Lorileah]

No difference. And usually you get little tiny studs that stay in until healed. After that you can get little tiny studs with rhinestones ;)

[steftoday]

Nothing to be scared of. Seriously.
I'm sure they'll put them in the center of your earlobe if it's your first set. Trust the technician, but have them show you they've got them centered. (They mark them with a fine tipped marker for me.)
I'm going to get a second set of holes above the first, so I can wear diamond studs in the uppers and dangly ones, or hoops, in the lower set.

[Tracii G]

Not a big deal and it didn't hurt one bit.
Leave your starter set in for six weeks and clean them twice a day and be sure to rotate them once or twice a day.
Had mine for several years now I think.
No comments from people family or friends.

[Allisa]

Not sure where your at in south NJ but I went to the Deptford Mall to the piercing pagoda, no big deal and no pain, mine were done last winter and no regrets at all just sorry I waited so long.

[paulaprimo]

i think everyone's heeling time must different. plus i'm not one to follow instructions...
i had my first one done almost 30 years ago, then had 2 more done. i didn't clean or rotate them
and i certainly didn't wait 6 weeks to change them. in fact i think it was less than 2 weeks. i never had
a problem so my next 5 i did myself and still never had a problem.
i can't recall a single negative response from anyone and only had a very few people even comment on them.
in today's world its not a big deal, it's so common and seems to me that most people have them.
just relax and enjoy them... :)

[Nadine Spirit]

Go for it. It is a very minor procedure. Everyone has their own preferences but I recommend getting them at a piercing/tattoo place and not the mall shop. Oh and yeah there is no difference for m/f placement. I have two in each ear actually. Ones that I wear small hoops in daily and the others are generally reserved for my girly earrings. Oh and I would not use alcohol, I use bactene (sp?).

[DeniseNJ]

I am not affraid of the pain ... I am affraid of what people will think friends and family. I want the feel of long dangling earings when I walk and go out as Denise. I don't go out much at all but that might change someday

[justmetoo]

People may or may not talk at first, but they'll likely soon get used to it. Some people probably won't even notice. Other people, probably the majority, know that lots of guys get their ears pierced these days. If anyone says anything you can just tell them you did it because you wanted to. I know it's easy to say things like "don't worry" and "own it", but it is very probable that the reactions will be much better than you fear. I expect you'll get more positive reactions than anything.

[Abby Kae]

When I was a kid, straight boys could only pierce their left ears. The right ear was for gay men. And both just wasn't allowed.

Today, my son is 16, and he and all his male friends have a single piercing in each ear. It's no big deal anymore. Piercings have almost become genderless.

Oh, and don't use alcohol. It'll dry out the wound and make it take longer to heal, as well as increase the itching that'll happen. I'd also recommend going to a piercing parlor instead of the mall shops. A professional piercer will do a much better job of getting your holes symmetrical.

[Nadya]

I actually just got my ears pierced a few weeks ago and things are healing up nicely. I've been told by several people that using harsh antiseptics such as Hydrogen peroxide and alcohol will cause the piercing to take longer to heal because it also damages healthy new tissue. The guy who did mine told me to use contact lens solution (no additives) for cleaning. As silly as this may sound, getting a piercing at a tattoo shop often gives you a better experience. They usually heal better and the holes are bigger to switch out for new earnings later. They also probably have more experience too. My first pair are hoops (manly ones) and I can't wait to replace them. I'm 31 and no one really batted and eye at the fact that both ears are pierced. Good luck!

[gailbridges]

I'm hoping to get my ears pierced in December.
My daughter turns 18 then and she is threatening to get more piercings up her ear... so I playfully say, "OK. if you do that, then I'm getting MY ears pierced."
She's totally ok. Wife and son will likely have a minor conniption.
I'm not worried about the pain.
Someone said earlier to go to a piercing parlor rather than a mall shop?? Is it really that hard to get symmetry?

[Claire Cook]

Hi Denise,

Everyone here has encouraged you to do it and I do too. Like Justmetoo said, lots of guys have pierced ears and I don't think it will be a big thing. I had mine done five years ago (at 67!) and if anyone asked, I just said "Because I wanted too". After the first studs come out, the holes are not that obvious. One funny story: I was in drab but wearing studs and talking with some high school kids. One said "I think it's cool that an old guy did that". I'm so glad I did it -- I just love earrings!

[JuLo]

I've had mine pierced for over 25 yrs. I actually don't wear earrings everyday. I'll wear earrings when I dress. Other than that just once or twice a week for and hour or so. I have never had a problem with the holes wanting to close up. Id really like to have a second set.

[Erica Marie]

I have had my ears pierced since I was in high school and that was 25 yrs ago. Over the last three years I had them pierced three more times. It is very common for men of all ages to have their ears pierced. And I see them wearing all different styles of earings. I mainly wear small diamond studs.

[Candice June Lee]

I think the placing is the same. Just what ever fits your ears. As far as the studs go that's all you. They do have to stay in fire six weeks. I just got mine done not quite two weeks ago. No one had batted an eye out even commented. Not my boss not my co workers. Only some CD friends who were jealous said something and wanted theirs done. So don't be scared, it's not all that bad in the pain department.

[Krisi]

I got mine done at the Piercing Pagoda in the mall a few years back. They will help you select a pair of "starter" earrings. The placement is the same and the starter earrings are to stay in place for six weeks or so (follow the directions they give you). Your friends and family will notice and comment. Be ready with a comeback. I tell people they are not earrings, they are cell phone antennas. That usually quiets them and they change the subject.

Once your ear holes have healed, you can wear other earrings but I suggest putting the starter earrings back in for sleeping. Larger or dangling earrings can get caught on bedding and tear your ears.

[GenieGirl]

Guys and girls are pierced in the same location as far as ear lobes goes. They will start you off with studs when you first get them pierced so they will be small. Maybe you can see if they carry them in like a brown or neutral color vs the normal silver or diamond (or fake diamond). I've had both ears pierced since I was 12 (against moms wishes) and got a second row put in at 16. I hardly ever even wear earrings anymore outside of occasionally as a girl...I need to get back into it.

[DeniseNJ]

JuLo and genieGirl I am with you. I won't wear earings everyday but as Denise I want to put in a stylish pair. Who knows I may like it so much that I will wear earings more often. There isn't that big of a selection in clip on earings . I want the feeling as they swish side to side as I walk. I will look into it. I know the wife wont approve BUT as she tells me
STOP trying to control me. well I try to tell her when she drinks too much or she is loosing too much money at the Casinos. I let her be her and I don't like it. She won't even allow me to walk around bare foot with polish on and she knew about my desires since day one...

[stefan37]

Go to a place that does piercings with needle and canula. Get stainless steel 1/2" x 16 ga. Captive bead hoops. They are small. Easily cleaned by rotating them through the piercings. Using common soap and water while showering. Also easier to clean off the hard crud that accumulates from the healing discharge. Comfortable to sleep in. Studs are hard to clean. The post can be irritating as it digs into your neck as you sleep.
The small captive bead earrings are maintenance and hassle free for the 6-8 week duration they need to remain in place for the piercings to heal.

[Barbara Black]

Ooooh! I want to pierce my ears so much. I love love love dangling earrings swinging from my lobes. But I can imagine the fight I would get into with the SO... I seem to be able to find plenty of clamp-on earrings fortunately.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Denise, It took me 72 yrs. to get my ears pierced, Back in March I went to Sally Beauty and got the little piercing gun and
two pairs of sterile piercing stud cartridges & a bottle of cleaning solution.

After years of talking with my wife about getting my ears pierced I finally broke her down and she finally gave in.

On March 14th I marked my left ear where I wanted the studs and my DA/DT:love:wife marked my right ear and we pierced
each ear with two studs in each ear, then on May 12th. I put a third stud in each ear, I have long lobes and I wear three
small Diamonds up the rear edge of the lobes
Bottom stud 3/16"
Middle Stud 1/8"
Top Stud 3/32"

Piercing gun $18.00
Two pairs of sterile cartridges $6.99 ea
bottle of cleaning solution $5.99
Plus tax about $39.00

It's like no one really has an opinion either way, A couple people made a comment and I just look them in the eye and
I ask them, "Is this going to be a problem for you??" and that usually takes the wind out of their sails.

Denise, Once you have your ears pierced you will be kicking yourself for waiting so long and not doing is much earlier .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~>Orchid ...:)... <Triple Pierced

[Andreainny10]

Actually my wife has urged me to have my ears pierced but I am still nervous about. After "hiding" for 55 years, I am still nervous about what people will say. I appreciate all of you who are encouraging us to go ahead and just"do it", Many thanks!

[Suzie Petersen]

I did both mine myself when I was 18 (35+ years ago). Big needle and an eraser on the back. GF liked it, mom was about to have a heart attack!

Back then it was not normal at all, but very few people said anything. Because of my mom's reaction, I did not keep anything in the holes during the day. This meant putting some rings or studs in every night all the time long before the holes had healed. Lets just say that was not the most pleasant experience, but they finally healed up after 4-6 weeks.
Lots of cleaning and clearing off that bit of crust that will form for a while. I used soap and water and then occasionally some alcohol. However, alcohol or Hydrogen Peroxide is generally not a good idea as others have mentioned although I have to admit I use Hydrogen Peroxide on wounds all the time as, for me, it is the quickest and easiest way to heal.

As Stefan said, small hoops are a lot easier for keeping the new holes clean in the beginning because you can rotate them a little. The comment about the stud on the back being irritating is also true, at least for some. Yes, the small rings are more visible, but honestly, people are not going to notice them any more or less than a small stud. Just get over it and enjoy having done it. It is such a normal thing today anyway.

One thing I have not seen mentioned is the fact that the holes can get infected. Especially in the beginning. If you easily get infections, as in a cut in a finger etc, then it can easily happen. If it does, the earlobe will get all red and swollen and attract a lot more attention than the holes or rings themselves.
It can also happen when you change the studs/rings out for something else, or just putting them in in the morning or whenever. This can happen even years after you first got them. On some jewelry, especially the cheaper types, the stud or hanger end is just cut and not nicely rounded. This means you are trying to press a small sharp metal edge through a small, and maybe not fully healed, hole in your skin. Chances are, you will tear it a little and then you can get in trouble.
The trick, again, is cleaning! If it does get infected, you will need something a little better than soap and water though.

I only wore earrings when I was occasionally dressing, so the holes can shrink a little between uses. I would always lube the earrings a little bit when putting them in. Just a little bit of a moisturizer or something makes it a lot easier to put them in. And be gentle, dont force it! If the ring doesnt go in right away, try pushing just a little and just keep it there for a moment. Sometimes it just slowly opens up the hole and goes through. If you force it, you might cause a small tear.

Lastly, I never regretted doing them! Always enjoyed that final touch of putting on a nice pair of earrings to complement my outfit. For me, that was always one of the very feminine things about dressing.

Just some of my own experiences .. your mileage might wary, as always.

- Suzie

[Tina_gm]

I had my left ear pierced in 1990. I was 25 at the time, and no one ever said anything. I wore something for a couple of years but then I just tired of it I guess. I haven't worn anything solid since then, and believe it or not, with a bit of a push, I can still get one to go in.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I got my ears pierced in 83 and dern near lost my job. Rednecks in small towns. Gotta love them. I moved to mid ca. from there and got them pierced again. Only two places i don't wear earrings is church and work, that is my choice not theirs.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Hi Denise, It took me 72 yrs. to get my ears pierced, Back in March I went to Sally Beauty and got the little piercing gun and
two pairs of sterile piercing stud cartridges & a bottle of cleaning solution.

After years of talking with my wife about getting my ears pierced I finally broke her down and she finally gave in.

On March 14th I marked my left ear where I wanted the studs and my DA/DT:love:wife marked my right ear and we pierced
each ear with two studs in each ear, then on May 12th. I put a third stud in each ear, I have long lobes and I wear three
small Diamonds up the rear edge of the lobes
Bottom stud 3/16"
Middle Stud 1/8"
Top Stud 3/32"

Piercing gun $18.00
Two pairs of sterile cartridges $6.99 ea
bottle of cleaning solution $5.99
Plus tax about $39.00

It's like no one really has an opinion either way, A couple people made a comment and I just look them in the eye and
I ask them, "Is this going to be a problem for you??" and that usually takes the wind out of their sails.

Denise, Once you have your ears pierced you will be kicking yourself for waiting so long and not doing is much earlier .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~>Orchid ...:)... <Triple Pierced

Blue Orchid, your post brought back a memory of many years ago (before I mellowed) . I wore small hoops or studs most of the time, but always carried my A-HOLE hoops. They were about 5", if i was someplace and someone made comments about my small earrings i would say if they offend you i'll go change them. When i came back in i would have the large hoops in. Thst would start the laugh riot and the offender would shut up. Like i said,.itvwas before i mellowed

[OCCarly]

I did both mine myself when I was 18 (35+ years ago). Big needle and an eraser on the back. GF liked it, mom was about to have a heart attack!

Back then it was not normal at all, but very few people said anything.

- Suzie

Not to threadjack, but that would have been around 1980 or so. Where I grew up pierced ears on a guy were normal -- as long as you had safety pins in them, a mohawk haircut, and a Sex Pistols tape in your cassette deck. I remember in the college dorms by 1981 or 1982, it seemed like every guy there was getting his left ear pierced.

[Ellen47]

I had my ears pieced last November. Only a few friends asked why l told them I wanted to. Nothing else said. You will love the way they look and feel. I wear Dimond studs in guy mode.

[CynthiaD]

Just do it. I posted a detailed account of my experience with the process in the clothing and beauty section. Several ladies responded with their own experiences. Check it out.

[DeniseNJ]

Should I tell my wife or just do it that is the question... My wife hates Denise

[TiffanySatin]

Well now I am retired. I always wanted to get my ears pierced. When a guy gets their ears piercred do they place the holes any different or it it the same placement for M or F. If you don't want to attract too much attention :::what posts would you go with till the holes are healed open...

I had two holes pierced in each lobe about four years ago. It actually took mine about tow years to heal to the point that if I didn/t wear something for a few days, they'd heal over.

**But there is a nice solution. You can order Pyrex "retainers" to wear. They are small Pyrex glass (very strong) "L" shaped, about 1/4" each side, with a small ball on one end to keep them from slipping through. You can wear them with very few people noticing.

[Suzie Petersen]

@Carly,

Well it wasnt normal where I grew up, I can tell you that much (not the US), and the punk music scene was pretty far from my lifestyle too, so that would not have counted either :-)

- Suzie

[Jorja]

I had both my ears pierced in 1978. The Navy didn't like it but they are the only ones that ever said anything about it. I have 4 holes in each ear now. No big deal. If you want it, go for it. Anyone says anything just look at them and start singing and dancing a little, That's the way I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh.

[Laurana]

I had my ears pierced 5 times in the 80's. I had to stop wearing them when my daughter was born because she kept pulling at them. I've been thinking about getting just my left ear done again.

[AlexaK]

I had mine pierced 6 weeks ago, not had any problems. Only a few people mentioned anything. No one has made a big deal of them.

[trisha kobichenko]

I got my left ear pierced in 1978, did it at a mall store. Thinking about doing the other one lately, may have to go to a tattoo/piercing place, since the 'mall piercing trend' seems to have abated.

[ChristinaK]

Hope your SO is okay with it. Read my post on what happened to me when my wife found out. Kind of funny, but a good example of how we don't live in a bubble.

[Barbara Jo]

I'm now 68 years old and got my ears pieced when I was about 55 years old.
I'm now retired but I worked in a blue collar environment in the graphic printing industry.

I only got two comment about them at work.
One was from my best friend at work who just asked if it hurt to have ears pierced. I of course said no and that was the end of it .

The only other comment was a playful one from a lady friend at work who wanted to know to know what else I got pierced that she could not see. :)

Fact is,even back then pierced ears on a male was common place even for masculine males.

Earlobe piercing is done in the exact same spots for both males and females .
0f course, everyone's earlobes are a different shape so, the bet spot for a given individual (male or female} must be determined for the best aesthetics.

Anyway I commonly now wear 3mm CZ studs when in male mode in public. :)

BTW, I got them pierced at "Claire's "at the local mall and it was a non event. The lady doing the piercing was a real pro and did it matter of factually.... taking care to place the piecing if the correct spots, etc.

[AbigailJordan]

I pierced my own, rotated them several times a day.. and switched them out for gold ball studs after just 4 weeks. I put a second set in above them which again after 4 weeks were switched for gold mounted sparklies. Hardly anyone has mentioned them.. my best mate even said "at least you got them both done!". it's really no big deal nowadays.

[Chrissi]

Denise I had mine done several months ago after a life time of wanting them done. I went to a mall shop and had the gun with gold studs. (I actually did them one at a time about 6 weeks apart). My only regret was that I waited so long! I love them, I love wearing them, and I have had nothing but positive comments. Although those are few and far between, most folks don't even comment.

Like you I love dangly earrings and now I can wear them, and it's wonderful!

As has been mentioned, frequently turn them, keep them religiously clean...I used alcohol or sea salt and warm water soaked on a Q-tip. The sea salt worked better, but the alcohol was easier. I didn't even bother with the cleaning solution...the girl at the Piercing Pagoda didn't even offer it, other than telling me to use alcohol or the sea salt mix.

Best of wishes, it truly is painless and nobody cares that you may be a guy with pierced ears. hugs
Chrissi

[Cheryl T]

Got mine done about 10 years ago at a Piercing Pagoda at one of the malls. They insert a gold ball or something of the like (you choose) that they call "starters". I had both ears done and then a few months later had them done again.
All ears are done the same way. IN this case they mark the spot, get your approval, then use this little "gun" loaded with the earrings. They squeeze the trigger and voila...pierced.
I never tried to hide it from anyone and no one ever made a comment.

[vicky77]

Getting my ears pierced is like a dream that I want to change asap, soI have bought my first earrings today in order to have a suitable collection.... Do you know where I can find the courage to get my ears pierced? :)

[Jazzy Jaz]

I dont like most clip on earings so i buy hook earrings and have a bag of clips and convert hook earrings into clip on earrings.

[Marcelle]

Hi Denise,

I just had my ears pierced. My advice, do your research prior to getting it done as you can just go to the mall and have it done with a piercing gun (which I was going to do until I did some online research). Piercing guns are normally wielded by a person with minimal experiences (usually a training video), they literally force the stud through your ear lobe which can cause skin damage and guns cannot be sterilized in an autoclave after each use (the best they get is a wipe down with alcohol swabs. As such, the chance of infection is higher. As well the starter studs are normally a composite metal with nickel and if you don't know if you are allergic to nickel you could have a reaction. Now, don't get me wrong people have their ear pieced every day with no issues . . . just saying there is a higher probability of problems.

I went to a tattoo/body piercing establishment and got a walk through by a lovely woman who does the piercings. She showed me the establishment's health certificates, the sterilizing procedures and explained how it is done. A topical freezing is placed on the lobe and she inserts an 18 gauge needle through the ear which feeds the surgical steel retainer channel through. Except for the initial shock, little pain, little blood and to date no infection (healing quite well). It is a bit more expensive than a booth in the mall but I prefer a bit of sanitary safety when I put a hole in my body.

Cheers and let us know if you decide to get it done.

Isha

[KARI AN]

I retired in 2008 and the first thing I did was get my ears pierced nothing too it I just told my wife time for some new ear rings and look how long I have had them. I have studs, small rings and others nothing too big altho I would love to have larger ones but my wife didnt care for them.

[mykell]

Should I tell my wife or just do it that is the question... My wife hates Denise


dont give her another reason to hate denise, talk and explain that your were thinking about doing it, see how she responds....

[Krisi]

Should I tell my wife or just do it that is the question... My wife hates Denise

Seriously? You have to know the answer to that question. Just like you wouldn't expect your wife to get a visible tattoo without discussing it with you, you don't get your ears pierced without discussing it with her.

If your wife hates your crossdressing, getting your ears pierced, especially without discussing it with her beforehand, will only make matters worse.

[theresa renee]

Denise, Isha beat me to the point - go to a proper piercing/tattoo parlour and have them do it for you. do your research on the best establishment in your area - and they are very public about their credentials - and pay the extra to have it done properly. the special needles they use are measured by gauge, and have at least three edges and are hollow - they actually remove a tiny bit of your ear lobe as they pierce so the jewelry fits in quite nicely. follow their instructions to the letter! i've had my earrings for fifteen year, i wear them every day, and i couldn't be happier with the work :)

the adage is true: you get what you pay for.

[DeniseNJ]

I want to say thanks for all the advise. this community is great. Yes I want to do it to feel more feminine when dressed. Then again some studs or hoops in guy mode might look good. Yes I am a young 57 Years old. I enjoy pampering myself like many GG's do .. You know the creams and lotions to keep the skin soft and smooth. It seems the older I get the more feminine I want to feel. ( what is wrong with me ) . Is this normal for older CDers ???

[mykell]

nothing wrong with pampering ourselves, i use more lotions than i used too, dont want to age gracefully, im gonna fight it with all i got....

[Jenny Gurl]

Hi Denise,

I just had my ears pierced. My advice, do your research prior to getting it done as you can just go to the mall and have it done with a piercing gun (which I was going to do until I did some online research). Piercing guns are normally wielded by a person with minimal experiences (usually a training video), they literally force the stud through your ear lobe which can cause skin damage and guns cannot be sterilized in an autoclave after each use (the best they get is a wipe down with alcohol swabs. As such, the chance of infection is higher. As well the starter studs are normally a composite metal with nickel and if you don't know if you are allergic to nickel you could have a reaction. Now, don't get me wrong people have their ear pieced every day with no issues . . . just saying there is a higher probability of problems.

I went to a tattoo/body piercing establishment and got a walk through by a lovely woman who does the piercings. She showed me the establishment's health certificates, the sterilizing procedures and explained how it is done. A topical freezing is placed on the lobe and she inserts an 18 gauge needle through the ear which feeds the surgical steel retainer channel through. Except for the initial shock, little pain, little blood and to date no infection (healing quite well). It is a bit more expensive than a booth in the mall but I prefer a bit of sanitary safety when I put a hole in my body.

Cheers and let us know if you decide to get it done.

Isha
I agree. I have not done mine yet, but would like to eventually get them done. I read a lot on the topic, and when I do get it done it will be by a professional at a piercing establishment. I also hear they use a needle that is hollow, so it actually removes a very small amount in the process. It is suppose to be the way to get the best results. Many use the guns, many don't have problems with them. I believe the pro's using the needle do a better job, have better training and experience, and will likely heal better faster too.

http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm

[Laura M]

You've gotten lots of good advice here, Denise. When you do decide to get pierced, just remember to keep them clean & don't rush the healing time to try other earrings. And don't worry about what other people say. I've had mine pierced for a little over 2 years & I've not had one negative comment said to me. A few friends asked "Why" & I just said "I just wanted to do something a little crazy for a change" and nothing more was said. I wear studs every day (and once in a while simple little hoops). Have fun, and just think of all the earrings you'll be able to wear. The sensation of a pair of long, dangling ones is something to experience. Go for it!!!!

[Tracii G]

I would never let a wife run me like yours seems to do you.
Its the old I can do whatever I want but you have to do what I say wife.
This is just me talking here but I would go ahead and get them pierced and if she doesn't like it tell her you don't like her drinking and gambling.
She sounds like she doesn't respect you.
I just burns me when guys won't stand up to their wives/girlfriends.

[DeniseNJ]

Tracii :: I was always scard that my wife would tell people of my crossdressing. I have told many friends that she told me to stop telling people. UPDATE:: I told her I wanted my ears piersed and she said do what you want. I think I will enjoy the feeling of swinging hoops

[giuseppina]

Careful there, Denise. That "do what you want" might be "I don't like it, but I suppose I can't stop you!" ;)