does CD'ing make you a nicer person?

[Robin414]

OK, I'd have posted in the Sigmund Freud forum but since that one doesn't exist I figure this works☺ I find I'm much calmer and much more accepting in general, am I full on TG or do others feel the same? I think a similar topic has been posted already but might be time for a bump 😆

[2B Natasha]

In short. No. I'm the same either way. If your a tool. I'll think your a tool in either gender. I don't personally think it has anything to do with clothing. It's who you are. I bet you can be just as nice in drab as en femme if you have yourself the permission to be that way. Let your guard down and sit that macho pride off to the side and say F it all. This is who I am.

Cheers.

[Diane Smith]

I'm already the nicest person I know, so there's not much room to improve by dressing up. :)

Seriously, I have been told many times that I radiate an aura of calmness and contentment in my feminine persona that is missing from my higher-energy male side. I don't think I'm nicer or kinder to other people, but I do take more time to listen to their stories and be empathetic.

- Diane

[Ineke Vashon]

Yes, it does and it has. I've spent most of my life vigorously denying any CD-ing (in spite of evidence to the contrary). That took a lot of effort. I let go when I joined this forum, accepted my softer side and I've allowed my female side to slowly blossom. That side is not a separate entity, but more a complete me. My interaction with women friends has improved. Yes, I am a nicer person for it.:)

Thanks for the 'bump'.

Ineke

[Eryn]

I think that a combination of factors has made me "nicer". Chief among them is simply a reduction in stress as I can now present as I wish.

[Nancy Sue]

I would have to say that beginning to understand myself (with the help of all you ladies, and the posts in this forum), and then accepting that the CD/TG side of myself "is", and that it "is part of who I am", has made me less stressed. This has resulted in my being kinder to myself, and more accepting of myself. Though I have gone out dressed several times now (in the past 20 months), and with several different people (though not locally), and I am not "out" by any means (though I have talked with my daughter about this), I think I do act more kind to people. I have felt my whole like that I was "hiding" my real self from everyone. And now that I accept me, I feel like I interact with people more like a fellow person, rather than a fugitive running, afraid of being caught. I just now thought of that word "fugitive", in reference to how I felt about my life, but having thought of it, I think that describes how I used to feel. Like I was "lurking in life", but not a real person, not an acceptable person, because it was not proper to be the person I really am.

But as I had come to accept myself in the past couple years, and particularly in the past year, yes, I think I am a nicer person - not so much because I am CD/TG, but because I accept myself, that part of myself, as myself, in a way I never did my whole life. I am more at peace with myself, so I am more at peace with the people around me. And it feels nice, too.

[sometimes_miss]

I wouldn't say it makes me nicer, but it helps me from becoming an irritable pr!ck due to the potantial frustration built up from say, not crossdressing.

[Donnagirl]

What I do know is denial, suppression, fighting and stubbornness makes me a nasty person... Frocking up is the cure...

[Marcelle]

Hi Robin,

My personality does not change irrespective of how I present. I agree with Donna in that when I reach of point of saturation and I begin to identify as a woman to not do so would make me moody and anxious until I can align my gender then at which point I go back to being me.

[kimdl93]

Not exactly. Repressing my gender identity had some adverse effects...or at least contributed to a negative view of life, a tendency to anger and tantrums, a feeling of deep inadequacy...or just being wrong. Coming to grips with being transgendered has over time diminished some of my worst character flaws...alas not altogether.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't think just dressing up makes you nicer. It has to do with your overall outlook on things I would say.:)

[Claire Cook]

I guess I've always had a sweet side. My wife called me "sweet one " even before I started dressing seriously. GG friends tell me that I seem to be a gentler and more at ease person when dressed. What I 'd like to do is combine that into a whole person.

[JeanetteX]

Robin, I wouldn't say I become a nicer person as I'm quite nice as a male too! But it does tend to change certain things within my personality that make me much softer when dressed. For instance I can listen to music that I would never ever listen to as a male. Does this make any sense?....hell I dont know but thats just who I am. A nice person who feels more relaxed, softer and ultra feminine when dressed

[Karen RHT]

There's no doubt I thoroughly enjoy wearing skirts and dresses and all that goes with them. Does that enjoyment alter my basic personality sufficiently to become a "nicer person?" I'm not sure that it does. I do know my "mood" typically does improve while I'm dressed. That's not to say I'm in a bad mood before I dress. I just tend to become more content wearing what I want to wear, when I want to wear it.


Karen

[Krisi]

It might make you a nicer person if you're out in public and trying to pass as a woman. For example, you might not yell and give the finger to a driver who cut you off in traffic where you would have as a male.

Other than that though, just strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can't change the person you are inside.

[Amy Fakley]

I'm a nicer person, when I have the opportunity for self actualization. This is true of everyone, trans or not.

If you take someone who is a natural athlete and forbid them from any sort of physical, competitive activity, they will wither. Give that person, literally any excuse to physically compete, and they will blossom before your very eyes.

Same with musicians. They gotta play. Take away all their instruments and tell them to be quiet, the next thing you know they're slapping desks and picking rubber bands.

Some things just have to come out, and we are better people for it when they do. Cross-gender expression (if you're wired like that), is one of those things.

[sarahcsc]

I know I'm NOT nice when I don't dress?

Does that count? :D

Love,
S

[Pat]

I've thought about this before. The act of crossdressing doesn't make me a nicer person, but it does help me get in touch with the nice person within me. The problem may be that when I'm playing male and I'm reacting to the world in a way that I learned men should I restrict my naturally nice inner self to match the male image. When I switch to the female side that "authorizes" behaviors that are natural to me but which I was taught were inappropriate to being male. That just another reason why finding balance is important -- it lets me be me all the time regardless of the presentation.

In summary, I don't think that crossdressing makes me nicer, I think that not crossdressing restricts my naturally nicer tendencies.

[MirandaAlicia]

I don't think *I* am any different, on a behavioral or interest scale, but I do know that I have been a lot less stressed about this side of me since my wife has come to acceptance of it. Having been given her blessing to be that sort of me at times, knowing that it's not something I have to hide any more, has been worth the relief of maybe 50% of the stress I carried around on any given day (the remainder being devoted to kids and work). So if being somewhat less stress-cranky counts as being 'nicer' I suppose, but I don't think I'm fundamentally different.

[Sarah Doepner]

My late wife believed my 'feminine' characteristics were the things she found to be the most attractive in me. Without catering to those, which I do even when I'm not dressing, helps smooth over some of the more masculine behaviors that can be confrontational, critical or selfish. Her description, not mine. I've seen my therapist presenting both male and female and he sees me as "having a different calm energy" when I'm dressed feminine rather than as a guy. Other friends who know me in both seem to feel the same.

I thought I was the same person all the time, but something is going on that I don't really understand.

[Angela Marie]

I think one poster was correct that dressing in and of itself is not going to change you. However if the dressing allowed my female side to become more active then I would say yes. More caring, open minded, and just an overall better disposition. Now that is my experience. As they say "your results may vary"

[pamela7]

in life so far I've met people who stay the same regardless, and i find others who adapt. the adaptors seem to shift accent in locales, to behave according to dress, whereas the stayers remain as they are. Neither is right or wrong, it's just part of our spectrum.

Having said that, being an adaptor myself, sure I'm nicer en-femme, probably because i do start to become grumpy if i'm too long away from my nice clothes!

[countrygirl]

I do not know about be nicier then I feel happier when I am Amanda vs. Being in male mode.

[Sarasometimes]

Yes, when I can't dress for a while I get cranky and less patient. When I am dressed I feel much more calm and relaxed, in fact my therapist has commented about this many times. She also says I establish eye contact more readily.
Do remember that if you don't act nice when dressed you will be viewed as a Bitch! Now some may think that is the ultimate sign of Passing. LOL

[Jenniferathome]

OK, I'd have posted in the Sigmund Freud forum but since that one doesn't exist ...

You sure you weren't in the Jean Paul Sartre forum? Ba dum bump:)

[carhill2mn]

The short answer is yes. My coffee buddy says that he much prefers me when I am presenting as Carole. I know that I am much calmer when I am driving, I pay more attention to what other people are saying and I am more careful in my responses. In other words, I am trying to emulate the characteristics that I admire in women.

[Pat]

Interesting analog -- if you are someone who wears a uniform (cop, firefighter, soldier,) do you act differently when you're wearing the uniform than when in civilian clothes? If you're a businessman, do you act differently when you're in the three-piece suit than on casual day? When you're wearing a tux, do you act differently than when you're in shorts and a t-shirt? I'd like to think I'm always me, but when considering those analogous situations I have to admit I'm probably different.

[Rachael Leigh]

Robin yes I do find my attitude is better and calmer while dressed, be it full makeup and all or not. I thought about this just yesterday thinking could this be chemical reaction. I think maybe so yes it's true for me

[JamieG]

I don't think my personality change significantly when I am en femme. However, I do believe that personally accepting my CDing has made me a more empathetic (and therefore nicer person). I also find CDers (at least those who socialize) in general to be more sensitive and caring than the general populace.

[ReineD]

I don't know about CDing, but I'm a nicer person when I'm doing something I love. The world looks sunnier, I'm happier, and the day-to-day cares are temporarily shelved ... except when someone interrupts in which case I feel conflict, whether or not this shows up in my behaviors.

[Marie-Claude, France]

Yes, it does. People say, Marie-Claude smiles much more than her male counterpart, and she is more tolerant and forgiving. Yes, definitely.

[paulaprimo]

it can only make one "nicer" if there is "nice" to begin with! a ribbon on manure is still... well you know! :D
it surely has a calming and mellowing affect on me. i think i'm much more happy, friendly, courteous and patient... :)

[Allisa]

Am I nicer? Na I'm still a pr*@#!. If I don't like you I still don't like you no matter how I'm dressed. Yes I have calmed way down and have opened up to others feelings and emotions. I have learned acceptance through my own realization and acceptance of myself. I do ignore the small and closed minded more now than I did before I would go out into the world.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I'm still the same person when presenting either gender, but being a CD in the first place makes me behave, act, and react differently than your average non CDing male. So yes, I think it has made me a nicer person, no matter how I look.

[Terri Andrews]

I am always happier when"Terri" so I guess that would also make me a nicer person.

[Kandi Robbins]

I do believe I am a nicer person as Kandi, but I don't believe it is directly related to being dressed. What I find about myself when dressed is that my inhibitions fall by the wayside. This does not mean I do unreasonable things, but what it does do is allow me to be much friendlier, more outgoing and seek connections and interactions much more freely. I mean, it is blatantly obvious that I'm a guy in a dress, which is a very open form of honesty, which makes laying it all out there much easier. I find honesty to be the real key to making friends en femme (and I guess in general anyway).

To answer your question, just because you are calmer and more accepting when dressed does not define you as TG or not. I mean, what kind of hypocrite would we be to be judgmental of other's idiosyncrasies when we have so much trouble explaining ours?

Any room on that couch, Robin?

[Angie G]

I'm the same nice person dressed or not. But I'm much happier dressed up Robin:hugs:
Angie

[Jennifer B]

I'm not sure if crossdressing has made me nicer, but I think it's certainly given me a heightened awareness and empathy for issues in society that, like crossdressing, come in for abuse and ridicule from time to time. I think it's made me more open to seeing the other point of view.

[TrishaLake]

I think it makes me more open, more sensitive, and a better person....I used to feel I hated it and now I think it might be a blessing...

[Sandra119]

I am more relaxed when dressed in female clothes it does make me a nicer person

[Beverley Sims]

In my younger days it made me more appreciative and considerate towards women.

[Rachel05]

I think it does make me a nicer or maybe more understanding person, I don't subscribe to the theory it is just clothes and dressing, for me it is a state of mind, it makes me calm, it makes me feel nice and it certainly makes me more understanding of others that are out of the public perception of "normal"

Maybe when I was in the years of denial and lack of acceptance, I used to go through all sorts of stages of emotion and that was not always a nice me, but since I accepted me for who and what I am, I feel a softer side to me has come to the fore

We are all different and we have all arrived at where we are from different places and we all dress for different reasons, but in having to figure out what I am and accepting that has made me much more understanding and accepting of others and of course since I found this forum, it has been nice to share and understand there are many others out there with the same needs

[Brandy Mathews]

Sarah,
I think that I am like that too. I'm o.k. for a while, then I get mean if I don't dress. I have to say, I don't look as pretty as you, but it makes me feel so good.
Bree :)