Our Goal?

[nikki2014]

For many of us getting all dolled up or dressing up has it's thrills and perks. We feel something different when we do dress. It's like something has taken over and is inside of us. Some of us have been doing it for a long time. Some only a short time. But whatever that feeling is it's a good feeling. A feeling of being true to ourselves and a feeling of being free.

I know what we all struggle with and that is they why? Why do we do this? What has taken over to make me want to do this? We all have our own and different reasons and most have been posted on this website. We all have very similar stories that we've shared.

My question is what is your goal? As a Crossdresser what do you really want to accomplish? Is it that you just want to dress and stay in the confinement of your own home? Do you want to take that leap and go out on the town? Do you want to live the rest of your life as a CDer? Do you want to take the full on with a date and a romantic evening with that right person? Or would you like to have a fun night on the town with your significant other? What is your goal? I'm curious of the responses. Post away.

Nikki

[Melanie 0339]

I don't think I know what my end goal is when I first started as a teenager it was out of curiosity and sexual gratification. As the years have gone and my dressing has escalated I just started to feel right in women's clothes I was a man in drag but comfortable. Recently I added a wig and make up and felt even more right in my self when I looked at myself in the mirror It was my inner girl staring back at me. It was then I realised I didn't want to just dress up I want to be a convincing female. I'm now trying to get even more in touch with my feminine side then just wearing the clothes but trying to see the world through female eyes. Maybe my end goal is going all the way, maybe not. I don't really know how far my journey will take me all I know is everyday I'm slowly discovering the real me. xxx

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki,
I've never looked at my dressing as something that had a "goal".
And I have already done everything on your list of possible goals.
For me it's just experiencing life, and doing something new isn't always planned.
Nothing has ever been put on a list of things to do today.
Of course nights out on the town require some planning in advance, but a quick
jaunt to the grocery store for whatever, is done on a whim!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nikki, I've been in this program for 68yrs. now I enjoy having the best of both worlds.:hugs:

Just dressing at home.:daydreaming:

[Ceera]

Not 100% certain right now. I love living in both worlds, and plan to spend about 50% of my time en-femme in the near future (after I finish moving). I love being treated like a lady and being 'one of the girls' in a group of GG's, and I love getting out of the house and being seen and appreciated as a lady.

I suppose what would be ideal for me, since I am single, would be to find a partner that can love and accept both sides of me. Someone bisexual who would enjoy mating with me in either presentation from my side. Most likely that would be me pairing up with a bisexual GG, but other possibilities are not out of the question.

[ReineD]

My SO's goal was to go everywhere in girl mode that he does in guy mode, except work.

As to your other question,



I know what we all struggle with and that is they why? Why do we do this? What has taken over to make me want to do this?


This is like asking, why does one person prefer blue while another prefers orange. Why are some people good at math, and others are good at drawing and painting. Our preferences and abilities are developed over time, so much so that they become a part of who we are. Some kids are naturally good at doing something (like Bach with music, or Eli Manning with football) at an early age, but most people develop a musical or sports ability after a lifetime of working at it and practicing. What makes them want to stick to their interests and develop them? Something impressed them while young and they experienced pleasure by engaging in the activity. They derived a personal benefit from it and so they continued.

The way you posed your question, "What has taken over to make me want to do this", sounds as if you would just as soon not have this preference. You feel this way because you happen to prefer something that is considered taboo in our society. It's difficult to come out to wives, employers, children, etc, in order to openly engage in the crossdressing. But, if most males crossdressed, you wouldn't think twice about it, right? You'd just put on a dress and go out like everyone else?

I agree it is challenging to navigate the CDing in our world, but things are much better today than they were. A generation ago, the medical profession considered it a mental illness and it was even against the law in some places. Not any more.

[Rachelakld]

just being the girl next door
In my male world, I shop, fix buildings, fix cars, go to movies, go out for dinner, swim & walk the dog for exercise
I also do all these in girl mode (the only exceptions are work and visiting family or friends, that is not included)

[Adriana Moretti]

I just want to have fun......like that Cindy Lauper song.......I wouldnt mind taking over the world either. Ive done the closet thing, the out on the town thing, the date thing....so....yea...take over the world sounds good....still havent got on a plane yet....whos buying my ticket ??

[Yoshisaur]

I'm not exactly sure what my end goal for all this is, for now though I'm happy with expressing this other side of me. I don't think I've really ever had a goal for this it's just been something I enjoy and want to keep doing.

[Krisi]

I asked a similar question a while back and by the responses, I could see that many folks didn't really understand what I was asking. It will be interesting reading the responses this time.

To answer your question, my goal is to be able to look and act like the daughter my mother never had, and to be able to go out in public and pass as that person. The end goal would be for my wife to accompany me (in another town) and spend the day as two female friends doing what two female friends would do as tourists in another town.

I don't want to live as a female or become one and I don't want to be known by my neighbors as "the tranny down the street". That is not part of my goal.

[Amy Fakley]

I don't know why I do it, it's honestly a complete mystery to me. As long as I can remember, I've been reaching toward girly things without even realizing what was going on. When I was very young, borrowing clothes from my mother's hamper, and those sorts of things nearly all of us did at that age.

As I got older, and the years went by, it started to become more elaborate, but I never stopped to ask why. It just felt good, so when I had the opportunity and nobody was looking, I indulged myself.

One day, I finally bought myself a wig from one of those popup Halloween stores. For some reason, that was the tipping point for me.

When I looked in the mirror, there was a moment of instinctual recognition. In a way, finally saw myself for the first time . This girl that had been trapped inside me, causing so much angst and complication for all these years ... she had been given substance, I could finally see her, and when I did, a little light went off in my brain ... "oh, that's me!" ... And it felt amazing.

From that point on, I think my "goal" (if you can even call it that), is simply to let that girl out. Or maybe to put it a different way, to fully experience a part of my life through that pink lens.

So being around the house ... certainly, but getting out in the world too (where possible). Beyond that, don't think I have any goals :-)

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Simply to be happy as Melissa & one day, miracles of miracles, maybe my wife can fathom understanding this crazy need to dress. Of all life's problems we confront in our life's, being able to find total peace with Melissa will always be my goal.

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

This has been a slow process of evolution for me. No planning, no goals, I just wanted to let the natural in me come out.

I was in younger years a very handsome guy and girls and I had a mutual attraction. One day I put on some lace panties and felt some strong beautiful emotions. Later I dressed fully as a female and had this powerful feeling of happiness and elation. I never planned anything, but at every crossroads in my development (over 45 years now) I gave great thought to every decision. I made a thoughtful decision not to have any surgery, to use physical means to shape my body to a tight, slender and well formed female (took years), to stay with my wife (many years married), to go out in public and smell the roses, and to have strong feelings about intimate relations with men. Due to family reasons and my choices, I am not able to dress full time, but get a few hours each day.

I am where I am and unimaginable happy, but I had no plan. My advice is let nature dictate your direction and force nothing and think, think, think about every move you make.

Hugs.

Jacqueline

[JenniferR771]

No need for a goal. Mainly I want to look pretty. I want the girl in the mirror to be attractive and sexy. Men love to look at pretty women. And now I can stare all I want. I get that warm feeling of being close to a beautiful woman. She can pose for me and twist and turn in the mirror. And I think women's unmentionable underwear is erotic. What better way to get close to it than to wear it myself?
However, I also want to be accepted, to not be ostracized, nor suffer the pangs of disapproval and ridicule.
I like beautiful women, and if one approves of me or gives me a compliment well then that combines two of my favorite feelings.

[Isabella Ross]

I suppose I used to agonize over having "a goal" but that's long gone...happy to travel the TG path that comes my way. Like Jennifer, I dress because I sometimes have a powerful need to look and feel pretty. When I satisfy that urge, I feel great. So I try never to deny that urge...being Isabella is about maintaining great mental health and happiness.

[Sarah Doepner]

A goal implies planning and I would never have planned to be a crossdresser. I accept it now and just want to be happy, comfortable and living without fear. So if there is a plan, it is to find those things that are keeping me from being happy, uncomfortable or feeling afraid and addressing them. These things stifle growth and I believe I still have some growing to do. I can't tell you what that growth will look like or what it will entail, but I believe there will be more of my female aspect to experience as I remove the barriers one by one.

[Stephanie47]

At my age there really isn't a goal involved other than appreciating I awaken in the morning. Some days Stephanie wants to get up and stretch like a cat and make an appearance. Then, it's donning a pretty dress, heels, hosiery, wig, and all the proper undergarments. My day will be spent in my private world where I feel totally at ease while I tend to the domestic chores of the home. Other days Stephanie's brother makes his appearance. Either way I feel totally at ease.

[cdterri]

To get up in the morning, put on my jeans and leathers, take a nice long ride on my Harley or slip on a nice dress with proper accessories and go shopping. No one cares or notices what I'm wearing

[sometimes_miss]

I just want the uneasyness to go away. Ever since I was a kid, and came to believe that I was really supposed to be a girl, I had always felt like I was in the wrong clothes. I just feel normal when dressed in female attire. That's it. I don't need to change the way I speak, or alter my body mechanics. I don't need to have romantic involvement with men. for some reason none of that is connected. I just have to dress, and sometimes want to behave in some female specific ways. That's it.

[SusanMarie]

No real goal. Just much more comfortable being female. I find that I have to 'think' about being/acting male.

[colleen_cd]

Like most everybody else, no goal for me. Just enjoying myself and seeing where this will all lead me.

[Phoebe Reece]

My only "goal" is to have a good time whenever I present as Phoebe. Sometimes that is going out and doing ordinary things in public by myself. Sometimes it is going out with my crossdressing friends to dinner, shows, or various public events. If it ever stops being fun, I'll quit doing it. I don't forsee that ever happening though.

[CynthiaD]

I have no goal. I'm not trying to accomplish anything. I'm completely en femme at the moment. I dress this way because I'm a woman, and this is how I'm supposed to look.

I'd like to be the best dressed woman in town, and I'd also like to be the most beautiful woman in town. But these aren't goals. They're fantasies.

[Dana44]

Nikki, I don't really have a goal, however, I enjoy it with my SO going out on the town. I do try to pass as this is an area that is a little terse. Yet so far everybody in restaurants and movie theaters are really respectful and nice. Shopping and going about only had a few stares. Perhaps I don't pass sometimes. Yet when I do I feel so special as my fem side did well.

[Candice June Lee]

Climbing out of the shell i been hiding in. I hwve been doing a fair job of it the last few months. Getting back into this and releasing the fem inside that has been causing havok in my mind. Passing is a small goal, compared to just being out and being me and open.

[Teresa]

Nikki,
My CDing didn't start as achieving goals my brain had already done that for me . I was going to live my life as a CDer ! No choice ! It was going to take me in directions I never expected, to take me to the point where I had serious questions about my gender ! Now it's taken me to the point of marriage separation !

Looking for goals, the most important one for me is to find a level where I can be comfortable, find peace of mind and maybe find someone I can share and enjoy this part of my life, I don't think it matters whether I go out the door or dress 100% as long I can be happy .

[MsVal]

Teresa and I are on similar journeys to the same destination - happiness. I venture to say that the rest of us here seek the same. We all travel different paths and have different obstacles to overcome. For each person, their journey is unique, valid, and authentic.

Best wishes
MsVal

[grace7777]

It was in late 2007 that I first started to dress en femme. This is something that I never planned. The urge to dress just came to me. I think it was the result of suppressing my feminine self over the years. It started simply with a skirt and pantyhose. At first I thought wearing feminine items around the apartment would be sufficient. That turned out not to be the case.

Today I am trying to live my life as Grace as much as possible. If I could do it 100% of the time I would, but right now it is not something I can do. My journey has taken me from just wearing feminine clothing to now considering the possibility of transitioning. I had never planned to be where I am today. My goal for the future is to find peace and happiness and to be my true to myself.

[DaphneMiller]

Like many others here, I don't really have a 'goal' in mind, other than to just be happy. In the past couple of years since I accepted this part of me, and told my wife, I feel like a weight has been lifted. In CDing I have found peace and contentment, and am happy to just go with the flow for now.

Though I remember reading years ago that for many of us this is like a sport - you always feel like you want to beat your personal best. Whether that's looking better, going out for longer or living day to day as female... Or even just finding an even more awesome pair of heels. I guess the point was most of us are pushing our personal boundaries most of the time.