Mentality and dressing

[Sarah-RT]

Hey everyone

I've been pondering a thought for a while and felt I'd ask it here.

We often mention the pink mist, the frequency of dressing etc etc but I would be curious to know how often we think about dressing, trans related thoughts or anything else related to the system.
I personally only dress once or twice a week, with work or hanging out with friends or whatever else comes up I find it more of a nuisance to spend 40 minutes doing makeup, shaving etc to have to take it off soon after to go to bed for work the next day(I'm a all the way or not at all type) but I find myself thinking about it everyday, through a lot of the day. When working or watching a film it takes the mind away but I always seem to come back to thinking about it.

Browsing Facebook and seeing female friends uploading pictures of themselves, liking pictures of fashion etc
Television ads about makeup or fashion
Over hearing woman discussing clothing
And the supermarket(grocery store) I work in has a clothing department I find myself gazing down at the clothes on the rack.

I find it's always something draws me back into thinking about it, I'm not sure if it's because I dress less than I would like or what the reason is but I've found I've only been thinking like this the last 2-3 months since I came out to my friends and have been out and about in the world dressed.
Anyone else do this or is this the actual dreaded pink most?

As an added point I would exclude visiting or posting here since that can only lead to thinking on the subject and it's good to come here to catch up on things

Sarahx

[Suzie Petersen]

Hi Sarah,


I'm not sure if it's because I dress less than I would like or what the reason is but I've found I've only been thinking like this the last 2-3 months since I came out to my friends and have been out and about in the world dressed.

Could be it is just the feeling of new-found freedom in that you are not hiding as much as you used to. Now that your friends know, it might feel like a barrier has been removed.
This is one of the big traps for CD'ers who first come out to their wife/GF. Now that she knows, the secret is out, so why hold back, right! It can be very difficult to control the urge to dress all the time and that often causes all sorts of trouble.

For many, these strong feelings come and go in waves, and can last for weeks or months. Then it either gets a little boring, you satisfy the need for a while or something else happens, like life gets busy etc.
The whole trick to this is not to let it control you, but instead set limits for yourself and keep it under control.

We are surrounded by things that can trigger this in us. Like you mentioned, seeing women on TV or in magazines, the clothing racks in stores etc etc. It can all bring that thought to the forefront of your mind. What matters is how you react to it and how much you let it distract you.

Sometimes it can be good to have some more or less defined plans to look forward to and then restrain yourself a little. For instance, make a plan to dress next weekend for a whole day, and then look forward to that and try and push the thoughts and urges away until then. If you have something to look forward to, it is easier to focus on the things that have to get done, like work!

- Suzie

[kimdl93]

Honestly, I suspect it's not pink mist or fog, but rather the underlying desire or need to experience more of life as a woman. It sounds like coming out to friends and going out a couple times a week has opened your mind to the larger possibilities.

Once you know what's possible, it's understandable that you might feel even a bit confined by the old limits.

[NicoleScott]

I don't dress every day. Far from it. But I think about it every day, hit the forum every day, look at clothes, wigs, and shoes online most days. To me, the pink fog is when thoughts and actions (dressing, planning, shopping, spending, etc.) occupy your attention so much so that it distracts you from normal functioning of your every day responsibilities (marriage, job, kids, budget, etc.) In other words, way out of balance with other aspects of your life.
I've been in the pink fog, realized it, and handle it better now.

[LenGray]

Hm, that's a tough one. It's hard to pinpoint an exact time when I think about it or, rather, when I'm not thinking about it on some level.

Clothes shopping would definitely be a time it's on the front of my mind. Nowadays, I don't like shopping for girl clothes at all. I might still buy a skirt or something for comfort but 99% of the time, I'm eyeballing the clothes in the men's section.

Haircuts are another thing, since very few salons near where I live will cut my hair in a masculine style without fussing about it.

I used to think about it a lot when exercising, particularly when I had to go swimming or something, but not now. I have a masculine workout outfit (with a very tight compression bra) and when I go swimming, I generally just keep telling myself that there's nothing wrong with a masculine person wearing a one-piece.

The only time that I'm bothered by being obviously female is when I'm working because male customers react to me in a different way than they react to my male coworkers. But, since I usually dress in a masculine way outside of work, it bothers me less than it used to.

I'm not sure if it's pink (blue?) mist or not, because I'm very casual about dressing at this point. I think that when you first come out and start dressing or showing that side of yourself, that it's definitely on the forefront of your mind and that it will become more of an ingrained 'that's just how I am' casual thing as you go along :) Right now, you're just working through the whole 'I can finally do/be this!' stage. Of course, I don't know you so this is just my :2c: and it should be taken with a grain of salt ;)

[LaurenS]

I don't dress every day. Far from it. But I think about it every day, hit the forum every day, look at clothes, wigs, and shoes online most days. To me, the pink fog is when thoughts and actions (dressing, planning, shopping, spending, etc.) occupy your attention so much so that it distracts you from normal functioning of your every day responsibilities (marriage, job, kids, budget, etc.) In other words, way out of balance with other aspects of your life.
I've been in the pink fog, realized it, and handle it better now.

Same here. Sometimes the pink fog is so overwhelming that I MUST release it, but since I've begun underdressing continuously, and work on my my comportment daily, the fog doesn't engulf me as often.

[Alice_2014_B]

Being fully dressed is constantly on my mind; I would say at least about 75% of an average day, depending.
:)

[Krisi]

If you find yourself thinking about crossdressing constantly, to the point where you can't think about your job or other activities in your life, you may have a problem. This would be the case with anything; sex, golf, motorcycles, etc. We need balance in our lives to be mentally healthy.

Try to get this under control. Think about other things.

[JeanetteX]

Due to circumstances (lost my job, living on my own) I dress up several times a week these days. And when I'm not dressed its on my mind very often although I think I have it under control. Like you said Sarah, watching a good movie or, in my case a soccer match helps to forget. And when I'm out as male with friends it even gets real easy to put aside.
But walking through town on my own is a different matter when I observe how women are dressed, how they walk, their hairdo etc.etc. Yes its on my mind all of the time then. But again, I dont think it has completely taken over my life. I can deal with it.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sarah, I dress every Morning and a couple Evenings a week, I am always thinking about what outfits,
shoes & accessories that I will put together in my next session .:hugs:

[Melanie 0339]

I constantly feel the urge to dress but due to my circumstances I unable to as much as I'd like. So now I'm trying other ways too feel feminine when I'm in drab and it does help the fog a little xxx

[IamWren]

Hi Sarah. I've been wearing girls undies (cotton low-rise boy shorts) for about a year now and wear them pretty much every day. Although I didn't really consider that dressing because it was done more out of practicality. They just feel better dammit! :)

Anyway it's only been recently... maybe since early June that I bought my first pair of heels and then a couple of weeks later tried on a dress. Now I think about dressing just about everyday. I would say more so though, I find myself being more observant of women and their behaviors, the way they walk, stand, carry themselves which has made me even more attracted to them than before if that's even possible.

~ Sayyidah

[Beverley Sims]

I like Kim's answer on this one and she has put the finger on it I think.

It is good that you get to dress with friends as that is a great outlet.

I wish you well in discovering yourself in the coming years.

[Katey888]

I'm a bit like Nicole with this.. (like, blonde too... ;)) I'm sure it's on my mind in many portions of the day, but I'm dressing less than once a month right now - I don't think there's anything wrong with you unless you were obsessing to the detriment of some other part of you... You've had a successful coming out and that's just fuelled your confidence... You'll find a balance and what that means for you over time... :hugs:

I feel part of being comfortable with the extent of how we each mange this and with self-acceptance is finding that balance for ourselves... and you're still so young too - over time the ceaseless ups and downs of life in general helps you realise that phases come and go; these feelings may persist but they wax and wane... Go with the flow... :cool:

Katey x

[Ceera]

I usually only dress up once or twice a week, usually on the weekend.

I think about it virtually every day, however. Any time I am out shopping, I make a pass through the feminine sections of the store and at least look for ideas, even though I am en-drab. I check out the forums here, and my Facebook page as Ceera, on a daily basis. I check out on-line sales for women's stuff pretty much every day, and order things once or more per week.

I keep my face well-shaved twice to three times per day, and my body, arms and legs shaved several times per week, to remain ready to dress if the occasion or opportunity calls for it. (This morning, for example, I lingered in the shower for 45 minutes, shaving everything, even though I didn't particularly plan to dress at all today. the stubble was bugging me too much!)

I'm often thinking about or planning new outings as Ceera. In a few weeks I have tickets for a set of four different bands performing at a local bar. Some of the performers are friends of a musician I recently befriended, and she will be in the audience that night too. I hope to spend some more time with her while at that gathering. I'm actively seeking other chances to get out of the house as Ceera, to places I've never gone before en-femme, or have only rarely gone to. For example, my daughter and I go mall walking and do a bit of shopping together every weekend. I'm seriously considering doing it this weekend as Ceera, though she and I have only hit the mall once together so far with me en-femme.

Maybe it is the 'pink fog' or 'pink mist' affecting me, but each new positive experience going out as Ceera certainly encourages me to do it more often! I just wish I didn't need to spend most of my free time packing and getting ready to move! I really want to get this move over with, so I can relax and let myself had more fun time as Ceera!

[Kate Simmons]

The only thing I have to say about this is that CDing is a process. How we choose to address that process is open to personal interpretation. :battingeyelashes::)

[Athena_]

Hi Sarah,

I have triggers nearly every day that make me think of dressing, especially during the work week. Seeing the women in the office all dressed up nicely, really fuels my own desire to dress up. Shopping is a big driver as are TV and movies to a lesser extent. I would say that about 50% of my waking hours it is in my thoughts to some extent.

[Samantha2015]

I think about it every day multiple times a day. Makeup, shoes & any female targeted commercials on tv make me think about it.
Once you start CDing I would think it would be hard not to think about it a lot but I guess it depends on how thick in the fog you are.
I think about it every day but I only pull the girl stuff out of the closet a few times a month. That seems to be my normal right now.
Thinking about it a lot does not mean I'm wanting to transition to full time, I know that's not going to happen.
The girl stuff is just more fun to think about. :)

[trishacd]

I think about it all the time.I have been wearing panties daily for about two years now and that does help.I have been buying very feminine ones trimmed in lace and little bow on the front,i think im becoming a pantyholic

[debstar]

I look forward to slipping in to something comfortable after a day in man clothes. I am not at the stage yet of fully getting dressed up (but am heading in that direction). I shave Friday night and do bits during the week. For me at this stage heaven is a long dress, glass of wine and a warm fireplace.

[Sarah-RT]

Thanks for all the replies everyone, it's good to know I'm not alone.
None of my life is affected by the thinking of dressing, in fact I put off dressing to go to the bar with my friends quite regularly, like many have you said, it's when your left to your own thoughts or given a trigger that it happens. I suppose we wouldn't be here if we didn't think about it.

Sarah x

[Adriana Moretti]

here is an excerpt from an article I did on this very subject "How often do you think about crossdressing"

Crossdressing is in my thoughts very often, in fact alot of my decisions in life are based around my crossdressing. NERD ALERT!!!. Should I have that slice of pizza?? Probably not! ..Should I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed?????
( yeah...i think so). What about that beer??...nah...just vodka with a lemon thanks. Before I decide on something I look at both sides of things and try to make the right decision based on whats best for the girl in me so I guess its part of EVERYTHING I do or think about daily in one way or another. I may not dress full time either but I do my best to keep my mind and body in the game at all times. To me the girl starts from within and the clothes are just...well clothes really.

[Brandy Mathews]

Sarah,
I get the pink cloud too. And can even go sometimes for while without dressing at all, but still, even when I am out, always looking at gg's and the way they do their makeup, dress, walk, talk. Then, when I get some time off, I just get dolled up as much as I can get. And I go on that cloud for days sometimes. But sometimes I see makeup commercials, clothing sales, it almost sets me off. I am definitely a shopper, love it! I can be out in the boy mode and see a dress or a beautiful pair of boots or shoes, and I am off shopping! It is crazy. Wish we knew all the answers to why we do what we do.
Hugs,
Bree :)

[Elli87]

Usually when I'm alone and I can put my ego away, that's when I get spirited off into my thoughts about everything fem. Sometimes I get so deep into it Its like I can see and feel a vagina until I reach down and confirm that my male parts are still there. Also when I see a face I like or nails or a dress,etc,etc,etc, I really like how the latinas in my neighborhood do their eyes.

[docrobbysherry]

I thot I dressed a lot until I came out of the closet online here. Soon, I couldn't think of anytrhing else. Couldn't sleep at nite. Constantly obsessed with either dressing or trying out/buying new items for Sherry to try on!:doh:

The only cure to my mania was to give in to it! Every time I thot of dressing I did! Day, nite, in my car, whenever! If I had an idea to try on a new look? I went rite out and bought it. After 3 exhausting months of THAT? I completely lost the desire to dress!:eek:

Of course, 3 months later it returned. And, I made a deal with Sherry. I would dress whenever she really wanted to. Which has turned out to be about 4 or 5 times a month. I only dress all the way. Throwing a few things on seems pointless now. This works for me and I can work, hang with relatives and friends, go to a movie or watch a game without thots of dressing interrupting me!:)

If this method doesn't work for u? U may not be a CD!:heehee:

[Jaymees22]

I haven't been able to dress as much as I had in the past as my wife retired and we are in the midst of buying a new place and packing for the move. I'm dressed now as I was getting very stressed out and one thing that really calms me down is being me. I do think about it a lot but do manage to keep under control. Everyone is different even CDers so just do what works for you and most of all have fun. Hugs Jaymee

[LaurenS]

The only thing I have to say about this is that CDing is a process. How we choose to address that process is open to personal interpretation. :battingeyelashes::)

Isn't that the truth!


here is an excerpt from an article I did on this very subject "How often do you think about crossdressing"

Crossdressing is in my thoughts very often, in fact alot of my decisions in life are based around my crossdressing. NERD ALERT!!!. Should I have that slice of pizza?? Probably not! ..Should I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed?????
( yeah...i think so). What about that beer??...nah...just vodka with a lemon thanks. Before I decide on something I look at both sides of things and try to make the right decision based on whats best for the girl in me so I guess its part of EVERYTHING I do or think about daily in one way or another. I may not dress full time either but I do my best to keep my mind and body in the game at all times. To me the girl starts from within and the clothes are just...well clothes really.

Understand completely

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

The longer you dress the more you learn there are definitely cycles to your thought processes. When you first start, or after you have been away from it for a while, your head seems filled with nothing but images of dresses, make-up, etc. This can be very intense if you have little to do or a very routine life as the mind seeks some form of stimulation. After a while, though, you get into a new rhythm of life and the obsessive thoughts diminish. Then something new comes along to shake up the status quo and you're in a new cycle. The secret is to learn to ride the waves to wherever they take you, and don't drown out the non-dressing parts of your life. Find balance young Padawan.

Bridget

[Nadya]

This part of me is never far from my mind. It doesn't take me long to come back to it that its almost distracting. I don't go out dressed very often but I think there's more to it than just because I don't go out dressed up often, I think it's just who I am and my need to connect to the whole me, not just a part. How long does the pink fog usually last? I don't think I've seen a lighthouse or anything so I may be completely lost. :P <3

[Jennifer B]

I think Bridget's post above is spot on and describes well what tends to happen, certainly in my life. At the moment I seem to be caught in the middle of a Category 7 Pink Hurricane! Not that I'm complaining, I'm quite happy. But experience has shown me over time that at some point it will abate even though I don't feel that it will right now.

One thing that won't change, Pink Fog or not, is that whilst I don't think about Cd'ing all the time, I'm no longer a bloke that is blankly impervious to the female world. If I'm with friends socially I will hardly ever think about Cd'ing but if I'm shopping alone I'll be checking out the women's fashion shops more than the mens. Most men wouldn't even know if they had passed a women's retails outlet unless they were dragged in by their wife or girlfriend and even then they'd be hard pressed to feign interest for more than 5 minutes. Whereas I find myself craning my neck to check out the fashions as I pass the woman's stores.

[Gabby6790]

I think it has to do with the density of the pink cloud. I would dress on a super random day and then not think about it. Now that I have pull forward by this I do find I am thinking about it quite often. The nice part is I am totally enjoying. Browsing the shop windows as I walk through town. Taking in the amazing amount of cosmetics and trying to figure what they all do.

Reading fashion websites a couple times a week and then honestly just being more observant about mannerism, style, and for me seeing bigger GG girls that obviously look like women. It is almost as if a filter has been turned on. It the past I might noticed a girl wearing a nice scarf. Now I am looking to see how she is wearing it.

[sometimes_miss]

Anyone else do this?
To some degree, at least for me, the desire to crossdress is most likely always there; I just manage to keep it in the background, just out of conscious thought most of the time. But it takes a certain amount of brain 'cpu cyles' for the lack of a better term, to keep it suppressed, and eventually I can't hold back the feelings anymore, and the desire to be dress or behave as a girl just overwhelms me and it gets so bad that i can't think of anything else. For me, it's definitely stress related, most importantly, the stress that results from a lack of affection. When in a relationship, I don't notice it; I touch, hold and be held by someone enough so that I don't notice it. But if I'm alone for six months of more, I crave the touch of another person, and feel like I'm in withdrawal or something because I want that touch so much. And it's not sex that I'm missing; it's simple affection. You can give yourself an orgasm; you can't give yourself a hug. I don't know if anyone else here has recognised this feeling within themselves, but I know that a lot of women have simply by reading their forums over the years. For men, it's usually not noticed, as our sex drive is so strong that we mistaken the need for affection as the need for sex. But if anyone has ever experienced that sort of 'empty' feeling a couple of days after a one night stand , then you know exactly what I'm writing about.