what would you tell your younger self....

[mykell]

so if it were possible to someway message yourself in a back to the future kind of way about this crazy thing we do what advise would you pass on to your twenty year old self.....and do you think you would accept any advise....

i would tell myself it is possible to follow through with it....it will be hard....but it will work out....its a part of who you are..... i probably wouldnt take the advise though, i was such a butt-head back then....

[Melanie 0339]

When I was 20 id been dressing for about 6 years already I'd prob tell myself your not the only one embrace this part of yourself you're not a freak or pervert, there shouldn't be any shame in what you do this is who you are, also really enjoy the figure you have cuz it won't last lol. xxx

[Ceera]

Me when I was 20 would probably not have believed that the feminine me that exists today would ever be a part of my future. I was deep into denial back then, and didn't dare expose the feminine side of myself... even to myself! So I don't think any comments about CD stuff would be worth trying to impart to the 20 year old me. A few wise words on stocks worth investing in would be a far better use of that chance!

[Alice_2014_B]

"Quit fast food and start exercising!"
That's if I went back when I wasn't exercising (between active-duty and the Reserves), so I could look better in a dress.
:)

[theresa renee]

Alice makes a fantastic point.

my twenty year-old self probably wouldn't be at all skeptical. he might ask for tips!

[kayegirl]

Well to go back to 20years of age, that's so long ago. The problem is that even if I could go back and offer any advice, I'm not sure that I could have done anything to change my CD life. You have to remember that perceptions and attitudes were so different then,(we're talking 1970 here). But for general life, I would say, "go where your heart takes you both in career choice, and the country you choose to live".

[LucyNewport]

I'm not sure I would want to change anything really. I'm actually happy with who and what I've become. I might suggest taking finasteride to my younger self though :)

[Rachel05]

At 20 I had been dressing for 12 years and was probably at the height of my internal strife with the why did I do this thing, I felt good and then I felt bad and disgusting, weird and odd, I recall the despair I had and yet the massive enjoyment I had too when I dressed

If I could tell myself something I would say just embrace being a cross dresser, go with the emotion and don't beat yourself up about it, I wasted many years trying to figure out who I was and when I found my inner peace, I was finally able to enjoy, I missed all that wonderful time - oh and I would tell my self to make sure I told any potential partner, i.e. future wife about my cross dressing before we embarked on a future together - but of course that would be easy because I have now told myself not to be ashamed of it and embrace it

[colleen_cd]

Me when I was 20 would probably not have believed that the feminine me that exists today would ever be a part of my future. I was deep into denial back then, and didn't dare expose the feminine side of myself... even to myself! So I don't think any comments about CD stuff would be worth trying to impart to the 20 year old me...

Yes - this was pretty much me as well. In fact, I had really buried that side of me pretty deep. I would probably just try and lay out some encouraging words: "don't be afraid of who you are. There are many people out there that support and love you. If anyone doesn't like it, that's their problem and not yours. Oh - keep doing art you idiot and wear some good running shoes."

[SusanMarie]

Let go...
Be honest about my feelings...
Enjoy more...suffer less...

[OCCarly]

I would make absolutely sure I don't go to the party where I met my ex wife!

[Katey888]

First: Buy Apple - Sell Enron... :facepalm:

Oh... you mean... :doh:

Understand and really, REALLY practice self-acceptance.

And really, REALLY practice makeup much earlier...

And really, REALLY try not to suppress this side of you so much - find that closet exit sooner... :D

Katey x

[vicky77]

I would have two wardrobes and depends on the mood I would open the more suitable every day!

[Erica Marie]

I would have told myself to leave small town USA, go to college for something that really interest you. Dont be afraid to be yourself and lay off the dang McDonalds.

Hind sight is 20/20. 25 years ago we didnt have the resources we have now. Our youth still are going to have struggles but now they have some sort of support network. The general public is slowly being informed that being transgender is not a choice, it is how we are born.

[kimdl93]

I don't know. The world has changed so much since I was three and first became aware that I was different. It left me with some emotional baggage that I might have been able to avoid had I known better. But then, how would you explain it to a three year old, her siblings or parents at that time.

[Gillian Gigs]

1. stop beating myself over the clothes that I like to wear!
2. take up competitive bike racing, as in tour de France, great exercise.
3. invest my money, rather than spending as fast as I made it.

[Katie01]

Two words... Buy Apple. Re:CDIng : have fun and embrace it, especially while you're still skinny :) Don't take it so seriously. It's part of you but it doesn't have to define you.

[Kate Simmons]

"You know that idea you have of becoming a transvestite spy? Do it!" :)

[Elli87]

I would tell my self to lay off the hash, and to stay away from yeshiva. And to quit smoking and to never leave Israel especially after the army.

[Shinya]

Dreams unrealized are dreams lost. Buy GOLD !

[Maryesther M.]

At 20 yrs old I was a quarter of a Century away from any thoughts of CD-ing, which I didn't start until I was about 45. Looking back, if my life had been different I might have grown my hair out and worn Mary Quant minidresses &c. as it was the 60s, but I wouldn't have done that until I left home, which was at age 23.

As things panned out I wouldn't change much, although I would like to have ended up a bit richer......Wouldn't we all !

M.

[Dana44]

Oh man, if I could go back and tell myself. I would not have the same life with all that I went through. It was long road to get here. I would not trade my life for anything even advice from myself. The discovery that it took me was impressively long and I was on a quest of knowledge. I lead an adventurous life and enjoyed many females because for some reason, i was not able to hold a real long time relationship together because of my feminine side. They always thought I was a strong male until they really knew me. It was easy to keep going through relationships and Ive had so many beautiful women. My last marriage was an open marriage. It did not survive and we both met so many good people. Sex was important at that time. My discovery brought me finally here with the knowledge about my androgynous side of my person and why I so have the desire to dress. Naw, the information that I have now would overwhelm my 20 year old self.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mikell, I would tell young me,:devil: Get your ears pierced now, Don't wait till you are a 72-1/2 year old man to do it.:daydreaming:

I can't believe that it took me that long to do it.

[franlee]

I can only think of 2 things staying in the confines of your question. 1-do as much and as complete as possible 2-take more pictures and secure them and keep them

[Yoshisaur]

well seeing as how I only turned 21 a little under a month ago I would tell the me from half a year ago to not isolate myself so much and try to have a happier demeanor

[St. Eve]

What a great thread.
I would tell my 20 year old self....

1) your shame is really not who you are!
2) You are very lovable exactly as you are.
3) Do not get into a relationship with anyone unless you tell the person you love to dress in women's clothes and they fully accept it and support you.
4) Your family of choice is more important than your family of origin - be truthful and connect with people who love your honesty - those are your real family.

I am happy today and have learned so much and gained so much peace - even though I suffered self loathing and shame in big ways, I can see the value in the journey to today....and, at the same time....it is curious to imagine what my 20 year old would have done with some loving support.

Peace
Eve

[Victoria Demeanor]

Oh I have a twisted mind, I would tell my 20 Y.O. self that "Robots have taken over the world!!!!!" "Stock up on all the tofu you can,,,, it's the only way to defeat them!!!!" Then I would laugh at myself when I got here...te he he., 50 tons of tofu and I hate tofu... Ya my 20 year old self has a good sense of humor, he/I would laugh too.

Okay it was a different time and there wasn't information or resources, but I would tell my self that I wasn't my father and I don't need to prove I'm a man. I would explain to myself that my feelings were not some dark odd fetish and to just allow myself to be me.
I am pretty stubborn, so pretty sure I would listen. I think I would just rather have my 20 year old body back now.

[Jennifer B]

I would have so much that I would tell my 20 year old self. It would go on for a longtime and my 20 year old self would probably think he knows better, which is bad news.

Aside from all the stuff about relationships and life, bad career decisions and friendship issues. I would tell myself to go out into the world much sooner and to let go of the things that I thought were so important to me at the time.

With regards to crossdressing. I would tell myself to use the body I had and go fully en-femme a lot of the time. Not to worry about all the issues I had at the time about gender, sexuality and all the guilt complexes. To get over it all and chillax.

I'd really like to tell myself to live a different life and I'm always weary of people, who when asked this sort of question, say that they wouldn't change anything, because they must have led a charmed life or just not cared less. We've all got demons and done things that we wish we could have avoided. imho.

[kymmieLorain]

I could tell myself a novel full of information. 30 years of me and myself. but to break it down to just a few:

Start shaving everything as soon as possible.
go to aircraft not back to missiles
Study and stay in.
exercise and keep the weight off. To fit in at least 12-14 or less. :battingeyelashes:
Consider less tattoos

Kymmie

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

I don't know if, at 20, I would accept a message from someone claiming to be me from the future. I definitely wouldn't understand about CDing since that wasn't even on my radar at the time. On the other hand, if I could actually go back an inhabit my 20 year old body again and do my life over, I would certainly be more open about expressing my dual-gender nature. I would take some risks of rejection, but that would be preferable to having to deny my full self. It would have certainly kept me out of a lot of pointlress relationships. Oh, and I'd totally get into digital photography when it first comes out.

Bridget

[Adriana Moretti]

as far as cding.....i wouldnt tell my younger self anything....i have enjoyed my journey...I would tell myself not to waste time with girls though......

[Brandy Mathews]

Very well said, all ladies. And I would add that after 30 years that I would still be in dresses and panty hose and heels. But I really do enjoy it. And I'm in a restaurant today, I am sitting at the bar, I look over into the family section and see a beautiful Asian woman applying a very dark, almost purple lipstick. Omg! So sexy. Drives me crazy. And she looks over at me as she is applying it, so yummy!

[sometimes_miss]

I would tell myself that it's permanent; that while I may have some long hiatus between having the desire to crossdress become so great that I cannot hold back any longer, eventually it will return, and that I should not purge under the mistaken belief that I will 'beat this thing'. I would tell myself that while I'm not gay or transsexual, there are some female type feelings I have that will not ever go away, either, and that I must accept that. I would tell myself all about the pink fog, and not to allow wishful thinking to cloud my judgement. Finally, I would tell myself exactly how slim the chance is of ever meeting a woman who will like being the partner of a crossdresser, and how to go about finding out how a potential partner feels about it without outing myself in the process. And of course, I would tell my younger self that the 69 mets would win the series, the winners of all the past 45 years playoff sporting events, that Bobby Riggs would beat Margaret Court but lose to Billy Jean King, the U.S.A. hockey team would beat the Russians, an actor would become president, that Leon Spinks would beat Muhammad Ali, and some unknown guy named Buster Douglas will beat Mike Tyson. Oh yeah, and I'd tell my 14 year old self that my feet were going to grow another three sizes. yeah, that about does it.

[Cheryl T]

1. Never, ever cut your hair short.
2. Find a support group and get out of the closet while you're still young and pretty.
3. Follow your heart.

[DMichele]

The advice Maria's wife provided... 'not to look into it to much or try to figure it out and have fun and just enjoy it'.

[Lacey New]

I would have told any prospective significant other about my crossdressing and would have gained at the very neat, her understanding and hopefully, her pleasure at having a gurlfriend.

[pamela7]

"start wearing ladies/girls clothes immediately, and don't stop!"

[heatherdress]

If I could go back and advise myself at 20, crossdressing thoughts would not be at the top of my list, but would certainly have benefited from self-awareness, acceptance and self-confidence.

I would try to provide some philosophies of life in general that I have learned, often through difficult experiences. I would encourage adherence to strong moral values - always. I would tell myself to develop myself as best I can, to learn more, love more, experience more, take more risks, value every day, learn how to communicate better, learn how to build better relationships, value those who love us better, have more confidence in myself, learn to trust others more, and develop a personal faith to give my life purpose. I think that better self-awareness would have helped me discover who I was more easily and completely.

[Krisi]

"what would you tell your younger self...."

Buy stock in IBM. Later, buy stock in Microsoft.

[mikayla1964]

hmmm there's a lot of things we would have told our selves . I guess if there's 3 things I would have said it would have been. Enjoy it you will always be this way there's no going back so embrace it and have fun. the second thing I would say tell mom so you can have the special girl time shopping and talking that later in life you will wish you could have spent that time with her. third invest your money instead of spending it on building race cars.

[mechamoose]

1) Believe in yourself

2) That person you will meet at the boathouse? Don't let them go.

<3

- MM

[Candice June Lee]

Dont live your life because of others.

Follow your heart and happiness.

stop worrying all the time.

[vicky_cd99_2]

If I could tell my younger self something it would be to follow one path. Don't try to walk the tightrope over the snake pit you have been all this time. Go to college, get a degree and invest your money insted of pissing it away.

[steftoday]

1. Never, ever cut your hair short.
2. Find a support group and get out of the closet while you're still young and pretty.
3. Follow your heart.

I couldn't have written the answer to this question any better.

[CarlaWestin]

Hmmm?

To Me, (40 years ago)

Whoa! Nice hair, dude. What's with the cigarettes you moron! Listen, you gotta know this. All the bad things that happen in life are not some kinda' superstitious retribution form a fictitious higher power that thinks you're some kind of freak. So, knock it off with the guilt trip routine. The reason that you love dressing up like a woman is because you just absolutely love everything female. And quit letting people dump their stress on you! They're all just parasites and you're easy to take advantage of because of your kind nature. Oh, one more thing, moron. Start learning how to do makeup while you still have a baby face.

[fun4metoo2004]

Stay in better shape. Not let yourself go and believe in yourself.

[deebra]

At 20 when I was skinny and female hormone would work at that early age and change your body I would:

1/ Find a Doc. and start taking them
2/ Hopefully find an accepting woman to mentor me
3/ Join a support group and find new friends
4/ Enjoy dressing, passing, living mostly full time and out in public

5/ Trying to hide all of this when visiting family

[kymmieLorain]

Now if it was going back and telling my 15 year old self.
It would be the same as I said but add:
Keep your muscle cars no matter what!!!!
buy stock in Microsoft and Apple.

Kymmie

[kelseygal]

At 20 when I was skinny and female hormone would work at that early age and change your body I would:

1/ Find a Doc. and start taking them
2/ Hopefully find an accepting woman to mentor me
3/ Join a support group and find new friends
4/ Enjoy dressing, passing, living mostly full time and out in public

5/ Trying to hide all of this when visiting family

This ^ except I'm not sure I would advise myself to hide it.

I haven't even fully started dressing yet, just exploring, but know already that had I understood myself then as well as I do now, life would be very different. To the second discussion prompt, I would have listened to myself. Really, I have known from a young boy that I had a desire to be feminine and could make a very convincing case to the young me.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

Yeah... That girl you meet at the new years eve party? STAY, the hell away from her.

That is all.

[StefaniLara]

I would tell myself to accept and embrace this part of me, and not to let anyone take that away. Also, I would tell myself NOT to get married to my now ex-wife.

[MelanieAnne]

I would tell myself to go out dressed a lot more often. I was looking at some of my old photos, and I looked pretty good. Definitely passable. And I'm now thinking, what was I worried about?

[Chloe1955]

To take HRT before purity kicked in, my voice dropped and I Shot from 5 feet 6 inches to 6 foot 3 and from a little under 100 lbs to like 140. (At around 16 years of age)

[laurenp245]

I would do everything in my power to try and convince my younger self not to care so daggum much about what others might think and just live life the way I want to live it. Many children are so conditioned to be a certain way, or that certain thinks are only for boys or only for girls. The older I've grown the more I realize that this is rubbish. I would tell them to just enjoy being you! This isn't something that is going to pass, it will be with you your entire life... so embrace it! Oh, and BTW you're going to meet an gorgeous lady one day that will become your wife and she absolutely adores both sides of you, make sure you're always thankful for that.

<3 Lauren

[mykell]

interesting how most of us would push the self acceptance feeling first, i know i have some regrets but even with a small tad of info our lives would have been so much different and with different problems perhaps.... hindsight huh.... and stock tips and better health could have helped a younger me but unlike some who gave tips to not meet theyre wives i think if i accepted this part of myself i would not of even met my wife, i would have run in different social circles and had an all together varied outcome which knowing how much we shared would be sad, so ill just treasure what i do have and move on.....

[Sharon B.]

I would tell myself that I am not alone in wanting to dress as a woman, to find employment that I'm good at and move to a bigger city. To start going out and being the person I feel I am on the inside not the shell that I am on the outside.
Even if it meant being an outcast to family and friends, be who you are.

[Amy Lynn3]

I like the answer Sharon gave above, but for me.....I'll sum it up by saying I would go into a pink fog and stay there forever.:2c:

[PaulaQ]

I'd tell myself to get out of of Texas and to transition at all costs.

[Sarah-RT]

Im only 25 now but if I could tell my 15 year old self anything it would be to be honest, my friends and family all know so if I had ten extra years of experience doing make up and assembling outfits it would be all the better.

[Cassandra*]

I would tell my self pay attention to the signs. For everything that happens in life it's for a reason. For example, years ago I some how put $50.00 in and old glasses case. I was recently married and layed off from work. During a spring cleaning I found the case behind a dresser and there it was. I laughed remember when I bought these glasses and started to pull them. There was the $50. I was able to make rent. When I closed on my house the power went out, a year later wife left me. Someone threw the paper on my porch and I said to my girl friend there's a job offer in there. Sure enough there was and I got it. So no matter what I can't change anything because if I did my little girl wouldn't be here. And she is the love of my life.💗

[Annajose]

Many things i would like to change, but then the good things in my life might not have existed. I would certainly tell myself to tell my wife before we married. Do not allow me to get too fat, keep excercising. Start laser as soon as it is invented. Dreaming is nice!

[Melissa73]

i would tell myself (At age 23) don't purge any female clothes! Ur regret it, instead embrace the feminine part of you..... also id say---- if you must purge, purge ur male clothes (starting with your underwear! u wont miss them)


:) melissa

[Zoe B]

It's simple, all I need to say is 'Stop trying to live your life to meet everyones expectations - do what you want to do' oh and study now, not later.....

[Ally 2112]

Be happy don't get married you will end up single anyways save your money and do not purge !! .You know how much money you will waste plus some great outfits :)

[raeleen]

Be honest. With yourself. With your loved ones. It will make you so much happier in the long run.

[Saikotsu]

The journey to get where I am now has been a rough but rewarding experience. I wouldn't want to deny my past self that. What I would tell him is that the going is about to get rough, but that he'll get through it.

I would advise that he not let the stress get the better of him, especially since that lead to him getting in the habit of eating unhealthy foods at every meal. I knew it was bad, but I didn't really care).

I would encourage him to stick to his developing healthy habits, rather than what I ended up doing. Things like hitting the gym every other day. If I'd kept up with that and ate healthier then, I think I'd be much healthier now. Its only been 7 years. Come to think of it, this is all advise I should be taking now...