Seen thorough the male disguise.

[Junius]

I work with this amazing person who goes by a gender neutral name that I'm 80% sure is non binary. I'm not sure how to bring up the subject so I haven't asked yet. Up until yesterday, I was sure that I was projecting my own feelings of gender onto her. Now, not so much.

This week I've started easing myself into a more androgynous presentation. I've been wearing eyeliner everyday (with some fantastic reactions and lots of support and acceptance from my friends). This girl(?) Told me yesterday that I'd make a pretty cross dresser.

My first reaction would have been "how do you know?". Then I remembered I'm the one that's not really gender conforming so I rolled with it. I didn't openly admit to CDing but I didn't make any move to deny it either. She(?) has been with the company for a few weeks and I've developed a squish, so I'm not even mad that she's seen through me. I want to ask her how she did it though. I want to talk gender and then maybe grab some coffee cause I have so many questions to ask.

What do you think? Was she trying to start a gender conversation or just making idle chit chat based on observations through her world filter? Should I try for the conversation or see if it comes up again? I don't want to come out yet but I'd like a confidant who might have gone through something similar.

Thanks

[Katie01]

Why not just get together as people rather than gender roles/labels. She may think your only interest in her is what her gender is, which hopefully isn't the case. Who knows, you may find other points of comman interests and possibly a new friend. Save the personal questions until you know each other better. Good luck!

[Junius]

Good advice! Thank you.

[Teresa]

Katie,
Meet up and chat, no harm in that !
You're thinking how to bring your dressing into the conversation , she may be desperate to talk and open up as well, , maybe you could be doing her a favour !
I guess by squish you mean a crush , no harm in seeing how that goes .

[Fi-Fi LeFemme]

I'm a complete beginner with all the labels that fly around now for "us" and "them" and such.
I'm hoping that this girl's "gender neutrality" isn't the only reason that you like her?
Go out for a drink and a chat and get to know her as who she is. That way she will get to know you as who you are.
X

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Junius,
First impressions are always the best, but what I'm thinking is she may not have seen through the eyeliner...
If she's only known you for a short time, I doubt she would guess you're a CD.
What I do see is you have a connection with her (eyeliner can work wonders)
Ask her out for a coffee sometime, and see where the conversation leads.
You can bring up the comment she made about you being a "pretty CD" again, and then maybe
ask her if she'd like to help you be that pretty CD.
Who knows?????
Much Love,
Kristyn

[theresa renee]

depending on your work, you might want to be careful when being eager with wanting to spend personal time with coworkers. i applaud your enthusiasm, but some companies may behave strangely if they perceive any possible liability issues, even if your intentions are good.

you're smart, you will know what to do and when to do it.

[Candice June Lee]

Hi Junius, it's great that you may have a friend. However spend some time getting to know this person first. Your job is important and doesn't need to be lost due to an employee that outs you. You never know folks and what sets them off. I am not saying to stop pursuing this friendship just keep your wits, and feel with your mind soul and body. We do live in a crazy world.

[Krisi]

I agree with theresa renee. This topic can get you into trouble at work. Perhaps you can get her to meet you outside of work for lunch, drinks, etc. You will be free to talk about subjects that could get you fired from work.

The risk, even offsite, is that you could create a situation where working with this person becomes awkward. You might be better off leaving the relationship as a work relationship.

[Gabby6790]

Canada must be different that my part of the US. If I wore eyeliner to work it be pretty odd and strike up a whole lot of conversation.

But in regards to you and your knew friend, I like the comments regarding just grabbing some coffee and seeing where the conversation goes. I don't think bringing up the eyeliner to push it along would be a bad thing but I wouldn't go crazy pushing the CD agenda.