Trying to stand up and dust myself off

[Jordan-NH]

For those of you who know me, I went silent a few months ago. I felt the need to put Jordan away and focus all of my energy on the woman I love. This is a sweet girl that I met just shy of 3 years ago. That girl had a smile and an energy that pulled at my heart. She was the first person that I had ever met that I just felt comfortable with. I opened up to her immediately about dressing and so many things. She accepted me and I accepted her. In these three years she gave me strength and confidence I never knew I had. She helped me learn better style, better posture and the greatest gift the ability to go out in public and be myself. Even outside of dressing she provided unconditional love and support that I never expected to find in my life. She has made me a significantly better person.

Last week, at the age of 34, I lost my love to her 6 year battle with cancer. I have a hole in my heart that I doubt will ever heal fully. But thanks to her love, I am a stronger person that will continue to press on and improve myself and do my best to give others the help they need to improve themselves. I knew how lucky I was, I was one of the few that had a truly supportive mate. My message to those of you who are as lucky as I was, cherish what you have and let them know just how grateful you are. Only now do I realize that I wasn't vocal enough for my gratitude for such a true love. Go and hug your loved ones and appreciate them while you can.

Love,
-J

[Rachael Leigh]

So very sad, glad you had her those 3 years though.
Sorry for your loss

[Kandi Robbins]

God bless you!

[Heidi Stevens]

I am so sorry for your loss, Jordan. It was a blessing that you had the time with her and shared your love with her thru her struggle. You will recover faster remembering the good times you had together. Take care

[Jennifer-GWN]

Jordan;

So sad to hear of your loss. Special people are hard to find at the best of times let alone adding the complexities of our various worlds. My condolences go out to you and her family. Cherish the time you had together and keep the memories strong and fresh.

All my best with a heavy heart for you. Jennifer

[Rachel05]

Happy for your amazing three years, sad beyond words that you have lost your love so young and to a cruel illness, but she did something that many of us strive to do and that is make a difference to peoples lives, good on you for sharing your story, sorry for your loss

[Tina955]

My sincere condolences Jordan. I know the heartache losing a loved one can cause, lost my wife of 34 years 6 years ago September 1st. Still miss her everyday. Like you said,"cherish what you have and let them know just how grateful you are".
Couldn't have said it better. Thanks for sharing your story, brought big time tears to my eyes.
God Bless you,
Tina

[Danielle_cder]

So sorry for your loss.

[Suzie Petersen]

Dear Jordan,

I am terribly sorry for your loss of your love. No words any of us can produce will ease the pain for you right now, but know that many are standing with you and hold you with our love such that you can find strength to go on.

The hole in your heart will not heal, but with time you will find that it transforms from the space of sorrow and sadness it is right now, to a space in your heart where joy and good memories for your love and the time you had together will be collected. No, it will never go away, but it will eventually stop hurting and become comfort.

Remember Tennyson's words: "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

Hugs
Suzie

[Katie01]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Words fall short at times such as these.

[Teresa]

Jordan,
Sadly none of us can fill that hole in your heart only the one you lost, life is sometimes very cruel when you find the happiness you had ! I really hope time will heal enough to find another to fill a space in your heart again !

I wish I could follow the advice of your last line but it takes two and it's sadly not going to happen for me !

[1jessica321]

So sorry for your loss 😢 sending you hugs xxx Jessica xxx

[pamela7]

So sorry for your loss. It may not seem possible but a few years will bring healing. I hope you can still hear her in your heart and be with her in your dreams.

xxx Pamela

[HollySmtms]

Jordan, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Love, Holly

[Brandy Mathews]

Jordon,
So sorry for your loss hun.
Hugs,
Bree

[Angie G]

You were truly blessed to have such a sweet lady if only for a short time in your life. I so sorry for your loss Jordan.:hugs:
Angie

[Bria]

Jordan, I send you my sincere condolences for the loss of the love of your life. I'm sure you will remember the good time that the two of you had together for the rest of your life. My prayers go with you and your dearly departed.

Hugs, Bria

[Sarah Beth]

I am so very sorry for your loss... it sounds like she was an incredible person and you were lucky to have had those years with her.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jordan,

My heart felt condolences to you . . . loosing someone near and dear is never an easy thing to face. Know that she gave you love and encouragement to be who you need to be and living that will be the greatest testament to her and your love.

Isha

[Victoria Demeanor]

Oh Jordan,
Condolences, I wish I had the words, but know that you have my thoughts and I am glad that you had the time you did. Always remember the good times and let go of the bad. You may not have been vocal, but I'm sure she knew, I'm sure you showed her.
Jordan Peace be with you.

[Katey888]

That is truly so very sad but how wonderful for you that you were able to experience that... :)

I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that you can continue to find a positive aspect for the future. :hugs:

Katey x

[Dana44]

Jordan, Sorry for your loss. I know we are so mortal. I am sure that she knew your love for her. We should love and appreciate our mates every day. Keep her love in your heart as you go forth in life.

[Isabella Ross]

So sorry, Jordan. My wife is going to be the recipient of an unusual amount of love and affection tonight, because of what you wrote.

[kimdl93]

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

[Ceera]

Oh dear... My heart goes out to you, so, so much! I know that feeling of loss much too well. It's less than two years ago that I lost my mate, to a sudden and unexpected heart failure.

Yes, a hole in one's heart is an apt description, and no, it probably never will heal fully. Yet the pain you feel is a measure of how great that love was, and of how good the time you had together was. Cherish her memory, remember the wonderful few years you had together, and she will live on in your heart and your memories.

[AndreaCalifCD]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my sincere condolences.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jordan, My sincere condolences for your loss, It sounds like she has made you a better person.:hugs:

[alwayshave]

Jordan, you have my deepest sympathy on your loss.

[Nikki A.]

Sorry for your lost, it does definitely hurt. I lost my wife almost 7 years ago and the 1st year was the toughest.

[Tracii G]

So sorry to hear that Jordan.
God puts people into our lives for a reason, maybe its to makes us a better person or to teach us love and compassion.
The sad part is when we lose that person and we realize how much of an effect they had on us.
You were fortunate for the time you had and thats something not many people get in life.

[Sheila11]

So sad for your loss. My heartfelt prayers go for you and your family.
May you find peace and hope in your family and friends to help you through each day.

[Melanie 0339]

Jordan so sad to read about your loss,
Big hugs xxx

[Robin414]

Jordan, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...I echo Rachel's sentiments in that I'm happy for your three amazing years, I can only imagine how you feel but time does ease the pain...

[bridget thronton]

Sorry for your loss

[Amanda M]

Jordan, I'm sad for you. She will live on in your heart, I suspect, for as long as it beats.

Amanda

[JamieG]

That seems so unfair, to only get three years with such an amazing person. However, you seem to have the right attitude about it, cherish the time you did have. I hope with time the pain you now feel will diminish. Please accept my sincere condolences.

[mikayla1964]

I'm sorry for your loss Jordan . I know its a hard thing and that what the 2 of you had was a beautiful thing. just remember what God has given you. For one day the 2 will be reunited . I pray for the strength for you to overcome the loss and maybe you will find happiness once more.

[Linda Leigh]

So sorry for your loss :(

[Jamie Christopher]

My gosh Jordan all my best to you;

Jamie

[Candice June Lee]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Hold up you chin and continue to be you.

"May you be strengthend by yesterdays rain, walk straight in tomorrows wind, and cherish each moment of the sun today."
An Ojibwa prayer i learned many many years ago.......

[Pat]

So sorry to read of your loss. I honestly can't imagine it. But Im' so happy you had a chance to have the time together that you did.

[Stephanie47]

Your wonderful woman will always be present in a little niche in your heart. Time may heal the loss, however, time will never erase her spirit within you. Prayers are with you.

[crystaltvco]

Hi Jordan,
I am so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your love! I can not begin to imagine that pain. There are tons of platitudes to cover this situation, but they fail woefully short of comforting you in this time.

Were i still in NH, i would offer lots of hugs and should made of Kleenex and an ear so you could vent your fears and pain to.

You grew as a person with her help and love. We should all be so lucky.

I wish you the best going into the uncertain future. If you need an ear, please feel free to message me.

Big soft hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Elli87]

hugs, I can't imagine your pain