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Candice June Lee
09-10-2015, 07:16 AM
Good morning all, I have been contemplating this post for a number of weeks. I am finally making sense to my self. I have over the many years of closeted, hiding and self denial crossdressing, tried to make sense of myself within myself. Yeah, to deep.
I can remember a young person with a love affair of women's things. Hanging out in the kitchen to cook rather than in the TV room watching football. One day I was grounded fire a bad deed and was home alone. I got to exploring the house and found mind undies and stuff. I just fell in love with them. As time went by I found other items to try out. But had to endure it was all put back and proper. Add I grew up and left gone I find myself in Dallas the early nineties and leotards spandex shorts and such. I had quite a collection and loved being out dressed and sexy. Everything the military I purged until a trip during basic to the PX allowed me some spandex shorts again. Then later after that I had panty hose in my ruck and the shirts depending on the weather. Anyway as time went by I repressed those desires of being fem. Then it came back as always. Then with my second wife the desires were good with dressing in clothing and feminine body piercings to hide from the world how I really felt inside. We split up and I purged again. Losing breast forms and clothing. This purge came with the meeting of my current wife who I shared this past with up front. She wasn't all that excited about it so I repressed and hid it. As the past thirteen years of our relationship had progressed, we have explored many aspects of our sexuality. Each one I think closer to me coming out as I got to see the wonderful clothes and such again. So I got clothing spandex mostly under the desguise of biking. Satisfied fire a time. Then along came a package of panties. I kept hidden and denied myself and my wife the real me. So as tone went by she said to me to lose weight if I wanna wear a dress. Then this past summer we went on vacation and meet a couple that turned out like where I should be. A closeted crossdresser. Lots of clothing and stuff so I was allowed some shirts and bikinis at that time. This reawakening happened of my true desires to be open about myself. So I discussed with my wife and we are traveling this together. Many things have changed since I was more open more than a decade ago. Internet and clothes. B my wife is more accepting yet scared. I must say so am I. Over the last few months I have met others locally and we all get along and have outings with our wives dressed. Usually at night one a month. I need more than a bar scene. I need to be me. With the help of this forum I see I am not a freak, and the help of the other girls in our local group. I been re learning the things I have lost. More so than anything I been learning to accept myself. Not hiding so much from myself or wife. I have found its a great feeling and is lovely. Together, my wife and I are learning/relearning this part of me and becoming more natural with it. We still have a ways to go. We don't know what the future holds, but it's been a welcome change in my attitude toward her, life and myself. I have been making sense of my inner anger and its actually diminished quite a bit. I been making sense of how to be me. Back when I was younger they was no support, no internet to meet people, no nothing but a desire. I learned tucking on my own, I learned some make up on my own. With this forum, the local group and my wife, it's been a much better journey this go around. And I can say that with all my revelations lately, I regret my last purge and know it won't happen again.
Thanks every one here. In the end I will quote Rupaul, "if you can't love yourself, how can you love some one else." That's where I am getting to now. How your all have a wonderful day! :-)

Heidi Stevens
09-10-2015, 07:59 AM
Glad you are finding yourself at last, Kandia. Your story has been repeated here hundreds, if not thousands of times. The bottom line is your result, you have to accept yourself and who you really are. From that point you start to build a happy life. Consider getting some professional help if you feel you need help progressing. In the meantime, enjoy your rediscovered self and move forward at your pace. And always smile!

St. Eve
09-10-2015, 08:11 AM
Thanks Kandia, for leading the way in self acceptance and honesty. I am inspired.
Peace
Eve

Krististeph
09-10-2015, 08:20 AM
Hi Kandia. Congrats on finally getting to explore and grow. One thing I might suggest is definately encourage your wife, B, to talk to support groups and other CDs- this site / forum is great for that- so she can ask questions and acclimatize herself.

The way to fight bad information is with good information- interact here and you will get a lot of good ideas.

Best wishes and regards-

-Kristin

Katey888
09-10-2015, 08:55 AM
Good thoughts Kandia - thanks for sharing your positive perspective on something that can be confusing and guilt-ridden for many of us as we come to terms with this aspect of ourselves. :)

You are fortunate to have an understanding SO but even without that there is truth in what you say about improving self-acceptance... With luck others who read this will be able to take heart and inspiration from you and the many of us here who have found more understanding and balance.

Good to hear! :cheer:

Katey x

Jaylyn
09-10-2015, 09:22 AM
Kandia your writing is from the heart. It took me many years ands truffles to finally say I just enjoy cross dressing. I finally admitted I enjoy doing male things also. It took forever for me to say I enjoy wearing silky panty hose and heels. It took a while to realize that I like the feeling of satin panties instead of my guys underwear. I could go on but after I finally admitted to myself I enjoy dressing sometimes to meet a need I can't explain why it is there I became able to enjoy it more and more. I really don't want to be out but just having an understanding wife has made life bearable and we have nights we dress and fix each other's makeup and play dress up. Your story is one that many of us have been doing for years. Just you writing this will help so many others realize something is there that drives us to be ourselves. Many have limits on how far they need to take those feelings but each has to set their own limits and be able to stay sane and live with them. Thanks for your words.

Candice June Lee
09-10-2015, 10:22 AM
I never thought that this post would be touching. There are so many hurdles to over come. I am on my third marriage. It's been a great one. Even with its troubles it's been great. Anyway if had I didn't add much time accepting over the years instead of hiding, I may just be further in my journey. I have always known I didn't "fit" with the guys. On some aspects yes I do mostly though I felt more comfortable on the other side of the fence in the gender spectrum. I can reneged l remember my grandmother teaching my to crochet, jitterbug, and play some piano. Those times and the ones in the kitchen seem to be the best times I remember.
Thanks for all the supportive replies.

Melissa in SE Tn
09-10-2015, 02:03 PM
Thanks for allowing us to share in your growth journey. You will enjoy more fun & peace on your future travels. Your thoughts resonated. Good luck with your Memphis meeting group. I had the pleasure of meeting Heidi months ago & am so very proud of her development. You will like her & find her a good friend. A big hello to all tennesseeans from the Chattanooga area.

Jaime Noel
09-10-2015, 03:17 PM
Thank you Kandia. I see a lot of parallels between my story and yours. You are beautiful, you are special. Never forget that.

Kandi Robbins
09-10-2015, 05:31 PM
Well said Kandia and that's quite a lovely name!

Kandi

BLUE ORCHID
09-10-2015, 07:40 PM
Hi Kandia, This forum has helped me a lot to understand myself
:daydreaming:and if not for this forum I probably would never have got my ears pierced.

TrishaLake
09-10-2015, 09:18 PM
Thank you for this post. I still watch football and did then but also liked to cook. I his so many thing and purged as well. She found out three years ago and today I am still trying to express myself. I know who I am but want to keep exploring without hurting my marriage , never easy. Slow steps have been good for both us. Thanks for the story I loved it.

Ozark
09-10-2015, 10:31 PM
Sigh, this is an oft-told tale spoken by many on this path... but I want you know that it can have a happy ending.

Candice June Lee
09-11-2015, 02:51 PM
I am seeing happiness. Thanks everyone. Yes I got my ears pierced a few weeks ago. About six I think. Anyway this place and all the folks here are great and lots of knowledge. Yahoo....... !