Told my daughter - All is good

[Sarah Doepner]

Since my wife passed away just over two years ago I've been back in the closet as far as family goes. I've been fearing the moment that I might be hospitalized or something and my adult kids have to go into my closet and see all my girl stuff. I've been seeing a counselor, building the courage and looking for the right time and today it happened.

It was nearly a non-event. She is fine with it and says that she and her brothers had known for a very long time (something I suspected and hoped for) and were only wondering when I'd share it with them. We had a good discussion and it feels like a big weight has been taken from my shoulders. There is still a lot to go over and more face to face time with her brothers, but this was an amazing start.

You have to love the younger generation and understand that it was probably a good thing you didn't kill them when they were teenagers.

[Jaylyn]

It seems the younger generation is way more understanding than us older folks. Your right about the trying times that they put us thru when they were younger but now that they are grown it seems the hard times were worth every moment. Especially the grandkids make me think it.

[carhill2mn]

At the time that my wife and I were preparing to divorce my wife told our daughters and their husbands that I liked to wear women's clothes. Much to my wife's dismay they cared little about that but were very upset about our pending divorce.

[Saikotsu]

Happy to hear it, Sarah.

[justmetoo]

Your daughter's reaction was very nice, Sarah. And amusing that she said they already knew. :)

[Sarah Doepner]

Your daughter's reaction was very nice, Sarah. And amusing that she said they already knew. :)

This weekend I get to talk to the "snoop" who probably gathered all the evidence their decision was based on. She did say they have been pretty sure for a fairly long time, so I guess I need to find out how long. And change the locks.

[kimdl93]

It's wonderful news. Isn't it funny that they've been waiting for you to talk about it?

[Laura912]

Removal of that burden should make you feel taller than a new pair of heels!

[MissTee]

Gaining acceptance as you did is great news. Worth a small self-celebration indeed. Not sure how old you daughter is, but my mid-20's daughter has also been inquisitive/intuitive and my wife and I are certain she knows. Not because of any keen skills she has in detecting, but because she has a key to our house and loves to snoop. On more than several dozen occasions we have found signs of her "rummaging and pillaging" our private areas. Following these exploratory trips through our stuff my wife said she was often peppered with questions about things in the closet not her size, or statements like, "you don't wear stuff like that."

Again, congrats on the reveal and acceptance.

[Sarah Doepner]

My kids, I have three others, are all in their 30's now. As I mentioned in the original post, until my wife passed away I didn't feel the need to share beyond her. And honestly prior to the last few years I didn't think they were ready, emotionally or socially. I told my daughter that when she was younger I actually didn't trust her enough to share anything like this and she thought about it for a moment and agreed. She was often at odds with my wife and I, but by always being there for her and providing the support she needed, she has come around to better understand the love we've always had for her. I suppose our long standing respect and support for diversity in society, racial, cultural, social, LGBT, religion, etc. may have had something to do with the way she thinks as well. I hope so.

In retail they say it's location, location, location. In this it's all in the prep and timing I guess.

[PretzelGirl]

It's wonderful news. Isn't it funny that they've been waiting for you to talk about it?

I think it also shows great love and respect to know but to hold back on asking and letting it be at Sarah's pace.

[MelanieAnne]

Most people have something to hide. We may be mom or dad, but we are still human. Is finding some fem clothes after you are gone, any worse than finding a porn collection, or a box of sex toys, or leather goods? I struggle with the issue of my fem clothes, dresses, and 40 pairs of fem shoes being found after I'm gone, along with 100s of pics. But I simply am not going to purge a lot of good stuff, because I know this is a lifelong thing, and I am quite attached to my stuff.

[Nadya]

Yay Sarah! I'm so happy it went so well for you. When I came out to my close friends from high school and college, I felt like I cared less of what other thought of me and that is tremendously freeing. <3