Abby Kae
09-11-2015, 10:19 PM
As anyone who has read any of my posts knows, I came to this portion of my life rather recently. (My whole life, actually, but I recently stopped lying to myself.)
As I wander down this confusing, winding, wonderful road, I told a few people immediately: my best friend, my wife, and my parents. Today, I decided it was time to tell the rest of my very small social circle.
You see, I play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) with a group of 7 other people every Wednesday night. Aside from holidays, we haven't missed a week in over 3 years. Being rather introverted, this is the only social life I have on a regular basis, and as I spend more and more time as Abby at home, well, I want to do it out of the house too.
Here's the email I sent, with names removed:
I am a transgender individual.
Like many labels under the LGBT umbrella, transgender has many different definitions. For me, the closest definition is that I have periods in my life where I am male, and times when I am female.
During the times when I am female, I experience depression, anxiety, self-hatred, and many other strong negative emotions; this is commonly referred to as gender dysphoria and/or gender identity disorder. Having boy parts when I feel like I should have girl parts is incredibly stressful.
Now you might be asking yourself, "Why is he telling me this? What does this have to do with me?" And here are the answers.
I'm telling you because you're my closest circle of friends, and not telling you feels like lying.
How this affects you is rather complicated. What I'm hoping for is the freedom to express outwardly whichever gender I'm feeling inwardly, which may mean that some weeks I would like to play games dressed as a woman. And go out afterwards. If I am presenting female, I would prefer to be addressed as Abby and with female pronouns (she, hers, etc).
The list of people who know, in addition to you now, is very short: ******. For **** and ****, I don't mind if you tell your wives, but please pass along my desire to keep it not-quite-public: no Facebook comments, etc.
If anyone feels strongly that this new information means I am not welcome in the group anymore, please let me know as soon as possible as I'll have to start looking for alternatives. If anyone feels uncomfortable with me presenting as female in private while gaming, or in public afterwards, please let me know that as well.
There's obviously a lot more to it than what I can put in an email, but I welcome any questions you may have.
Good luck!
Their responses this evening have me in happy tears. They're all being so supportive, so wonderful, and already apologizing for mixing up pronouns. I'm still waiting on two people, but I'm hoping they'll be just as awesome.
I'm just blown away by the amount of love and respect they're showing me. I knew a few of them wouldn't care either way, but this has just been eye opening. I feel so blessed. I truly hope that everyone gets to feel this much love in their life at some point.
As I wander down this confusing, winding, wonderful road, I told a few people immediately: my best friend, my wife, and my parents. Today, I decided it was time to tell the rest of my very small social circle.
You see, I play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons) with a group of 7 other people every Wednesday night. Aside from holidays, we haven't missed a week in over 3 years. Being rather introverted, this is the only social life I have on a regular basis, and as I spend more and more time as Abby at home, well, I want to do it out of the house too.
Here's the email I sent, with names removed:
I am a transgender individual.
Like many labels under the LGBT umbrella, transgender has many different definitions. For me, the closest definition is that I have periods in my life where I am male, and times when I am female.
During the times when I am female, I experience depression, anxiety, self-hatred, and many other strong negative emotions; this is commonly referred to as gender dysphoria and/or gender identity disorder. Having boy parts when I feel like I should have girl parts is incredibly stressful.
Now you might be asking yourself, "Why is he telling me this? What does this have to do with me?" And here are the answers.
I'm telling you because you're my closest circle of friends, and not telling you feels like lying.
How this affects you is rather complicated. What I'm hoping for is the freedom to express outwardly whichever gender I'm feeling inwardly, which may mean that some weeks I would like to play games dressed as a woman. And go out afterwards. If I am presenting female, I would prefer to be addressed as Abby and with female pronouns (she, hers, etc).
The list of people who know, in addition to you now, is very short: ******. For **** and ****, I don't mind if you tell your wives, but please pass along my desire to keep it not-quite-public: no Facebook comments, etc.
If anyone feels strongly that this new information means I am not welcome in the group anymore, please let me know as soon as possible as I'll have to start looking for alternatives. If anyone feels uncomfortable with me presenting as female in private while gaming, or in public afterwards, please let me know that as well.
There's obviously a lot more to it than what I can put in an email, but I welcome any questions you may have.
Good luck!
Their responses this evening have me in happy tears. They're all being so supportive, so wonderful, and already apologizing for mixing up pronouns. I'm still waiting on two people, but I'm hoping they'll be just as awesome.
I'm just blown away by the amount of love and respect they're showing me. I knew a few of them wouldn't care either way, but this has just been eye opening. I feel so blessed. I truly hope that everyone gets to feel this much love in their life at some point.