opening up

[steph_2015]

There is one person that truly knows me as a lady and that is my wife. I read so much on here about people open up and going out into public that I'm lost in this world. I truly would love to see what it's like outside of my house as Stephanie but how do I get there is the question. I'm terrified of losing friends my family and what ever else is out there. How do all you lady's come over this fear. As a crossdresser I'm not out looking for a man but just wanting to be my self as a lady that I always dream about. Sorry for the cheeseie post just so confused and lost huges to all you brave lady's out there Stephanie

[Rachael Leigh]

Steph many here have said in order to go out in public is to just be yourself, do not overdress but try and blend and hold your head high and look like you belong, because you do. Your free to wear whatever you wish so that's how I've looked at it
Good luck

[pamela7]

many small steps is one way. for example going out dressed androgynously is a possible first step, and then you can add little other steps, or times of day, or one friend at a time, until eventually it's no longer a problem in the mind.

[STACY B]

Going out is EASY,, Just put normal everyday clothes on just like something you and your wife would wear any given day,, Women's clothes of course,, Put your best face on and like she said don't over do it, And go to the next town or two over and take baby steps at first and then repeat everytime you get a chance and next thing you know yull be out and about all the time,,, Have Fun.

[grace7777]

When I first went out dressed en femme I would do it out of town, at least 200 miles away. One of the things that helped me was to become better in my presentation. The better I presented, the more confidence I had. A major step for me was getting makeup lessons. After doing this I found the confidence to go out en femme in the town that I lived in.

As the old saying goes "every journey begins with the first step. You just have to make up your mind that you are going to go out dressed en femme. The more you do it the easier it becomes. One of the first places I went to were tg friendly bars. Being that I am not a big bar person, I looked for other places to go to. One place I found was going to a movie theater and watch a movie. When I started going to movies it would be to the last showings of the night. I could be dressed and in public and since the theater was dark and every one was watching the movie, I could be dressed and not worry about people reacting to me.

Later on I would expand to go shopping dressed en femme. Actually I found shopping for women's clothes dressed en femme was a lot less stressful than doing it in drab. From there I expanded to the point now that outside of work I am living my life as a woman pretty well.

I have even now come out to some people that I know. That was harder for me than going out dressed en femme. On losing friends, I have come to the conclusion that if they cannot accept me for who I am, then I do not need them. I do not live anywhere near family so that is not a huge concern. Also when you are out dressed en femme, you will probably look a lot different from male mode, so even if people you knew saw you, they would not recognize you dressed en femme.

[Suzanne F]

Steph
It can be done!!!! If you are willing to go through being scared and self conscious there is a freedom you can't imagine on the other side. I am out in the world as myself every day now. I know it is different when your goal is to cross dress. However, I promise you the strength inside you will grow as you realize other people's opinions are not important. You being you is powerful. I think people sense that now in me and even if they realize I am a genetic male they quickly understand I am a strong authentic person. People respect that and will generally leave you be or even instigate interaction with you because it stirs something in them. Look there can be problems but the vast majority of us go out in the world with few issues. Just make a decision and be willing!
Suzanne

[Allisa]

If I told my story it would take up too much space, so lets just say gather your courage(and your wife) and with head held high walk out the door and go somewhere semi crowded and just walk around maybe window shop and before long all nerves will be gone and you can be Stephanie with a big smile. Your avatar shows a lovely woman just be her. Good-luck.

[STACY B]

Anyway,, Talking about going out and being in Public,, I was thinking about this an told my wife it would be a really good place for someone to Cross dress and be out and really not have to fool with a lot of people and still be out and about. There is a place here called At Home,, Used to be called Garden Ridge,, It's in an old Sams club here and if you ever been in Sams it's HUGE. You could get lost in all the furniture and household decor there,, An there are not that many people there at once. Just an idea for someone to ponder if you were looking?

[kimdl93]

Well, let's start with a question...why would you like to experience the world outside your home. There is no right answer, but it's an important question for you to address to yourself.

I would submit that most of us are not looking for men...a few are, but not the majority. most are seeking something else. For some, it may be a kind of exhibitionist thrill from being out en femme or from eliciting a reaction from others. And for some, it's the first real world test of whether presenting as a woman feels right for them. Maybe it's just an occasional fun night out doing something different with friends or the SO. Any of these is fine, but affect the way you'll approach those first steps into the world.

As for the fears, most are overblown or very manageable. Those first forays into real life can be taken away from home, for example, or by attending TG events where unexpected encounters are unlikely.

[Jenniferathome]

Steph, I have written many, many times that it is all in your head. None of the normals really care. My advice is to not try to "pass." You won't. None of us do. Embracing that idea is really liberating. Just go out and "be."

As for running into people you know, that's an easy fix: head to another town.

It's a very unique sense of validation this going out thing. Take your wife, do all the normal things, and have some fun.

[Alice_2014_B]

For one, from your avatar, you look very nice and passable!
Here's the link to when I went out en femme with my wife:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?230030-Went-out-in-girl-mode-with-the-wife/page2&highlight=

:)

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Going out gives new dimension to your dressing just because it helps you feel like a regular person. My preference was always to go with a friend or two, so your wife would be the ideal companion as long as she is comfortable with it. Nowadays TG people are in the media so much I doubt you would have a negative confrontation in public unless you live in a really small town. As long as you are comfortable and confident inyourself you will do great. Best wishes.

Bridget

[Michaelasfun]

I have to add on to Alice's comments, you look great and present very well so that's one hurdle out of the way. Having your wife "in the know" is another plus. So that leaves overcoming your generalized fears of jumping out there, plus considering the friends/family aspect. The second you could initially just avoid by making your first forays well away from your home area as others have suggested, the first is best overcome by the Nike slogan "just do it" :) To be out and about enfemme feeling the sun on your face and legs in a nice outfit is a joyous experience.

The friends/family aspect make take much longer to consider how/if you want to have them aware; as far as friends go, as John Lennon said "being honest may not get you many friends but it'll always get you the right ones." Take your time, perfect your look, then go for it.

[raeleen]

Steph, I was in a similar place recently. I had dressed at home, but felt like there was something lacking in dressing just sitting around in my living room. We recently moved to a new city, and my wife encouraged me to start exploring my identity more, and part of that was engaging with people beyond her. I think it can be a real burden on partners to be the sole confidante around our gender exploration, when they too are probably working through emotions/feelings/thoughts around our dressing and identity. I decided to start with a safe space. I looked up a local cd support/social group and e-mailed the organizer. She was really gracious and met with me in guy mode to talk a little bit and help me with my nerves. The next week I packed up my things and went to their monthly meeting. I dressed at the site, and was amazed at how relaxing it was to be around other girls. I even went out for a drink with them afterwards to a bar! I've been out one other time since, and I think I might finally be learning to embrace this side of me outside of my home. The first step was so hard. I stood outside the meeting room after I changed and had to take lots of deep breaths before I walked in. But they were so sweet and supportive, it felt right. Find the safe spaces to start, and the girls there will help you make the next step.

Best of luck to you, girl!

Raeleen

[Katey888]

I read so much on here about people open up and going out into public that I'm lost in this world. I truly would love to see what it's like outside of my house as Stephanie but how do I get there is the question. I'm terrified of losing friends my family and what ever else is out there. How do all you lady's come over this fear.

First of all Stephanie, this is a completely rational fear and bad things do happen to good people, however much we might like to think it doesn't - so please take care with what you read here and project into your own life... Not everything is necessarily as straightforward as it seems and we all have zip to lose in giving you advice - it all falls to your nicely femme shoulders... :)

Having said that, some folk here do get out without always risking the issues you allude to - it really depends on what you want to experience and how you feel about it. I will only ever go out away from home (infinitesimal risks of family or friends knowing) and at present I'm only interested in social events at 'safe' venues (reduces the 'pitchfork factor', although there's always a little interaction with the vanilla world in hotels and venues). As it turns out, I suspect that may be enough to satisfy my outing needs - I have no desire to go shopping, drink coffee, pump gas, blah blah... but that's just me. I like drinking, dancing, chatting, flirting and prepping - not necessarily in that order - oh, and the obligatory selfies too.. :battingeyelashes: although even that has diminished lately...

And that's a final point worth making - what if you inadvertently out yourself and then find out being in 'The World' doesn't actually do as much for you as you thought it would...? Imagine how you'd feel... :thinking:

Only you can make the decision as to what you want to do and why - it's completely individual and you have to carry the can for any consequential impact.. take care! :hugs:

Katey x