starting to tell trusted people

[Bobbi46]

I have been agonising over this for months now and felt I was walking round with some awful secret hidden within the confines of my house having almost completed the way I should look and having been shopping a couple of times I felt I could not hide myself away like this any longer, finally I saw a friend who was visiting next door (we expats know pretty much everybody) and thought that I should get in first having been seen previously by people near me. I called to her and said If you have a moment after your visit could you spare me 5minutes which she did I was at this time completely on femme and explained how I felt about myself and that life had completely changed since my wife told me she did not love me any more (just before Christmas) and then upped sticks and left me I told this friend that I felt I was more comfortable and at ease being this way. What she then said put me even more at ease she said are you happy in your head, I said very much so more than before. She also told be that she knows many people just like me meaning that they also cd she said something along the lines good for you. I thanked for her kind words and she left. Now when I see her in the future I will not be met with hostility or anything like that. We so need more people like her, both guys and gals.

[pamela7]

yes, we really are finding a new age of tolerance in many places.

[Alice Torn]

I see more GG's tolerant out there, but few men, so far, from what i have read on Facebook, at least. Few in the religious communities are very tolerant or accepting.

[Stephanie47]

I'm in 100% agreement with Alice. You can pass a law that makes anything legal, but, you cannot legislate acceptance or tolerance. What also seems like acceptance also is predicated on the concept of NIMBY. There's an interest article in the University of Washington alumni magazine concerning acceptance and resources for transgenders on the UW campus. The article does state, and, it seems to be true, there is more acceptance in the western United States than the east. However, I've always found like minded individuals tend to hang out together...birds of a feather flock together.

If you really think there is wide acceptance for any alternative lifestyles just watch the political campaigning this year.

[Teresa]

Bobbi,
I've come to the point where I doesn't matter who knows or not, if it's deeper than just wearing the clothes, what they think or say isn't going to change your thoughts or needs, you're going to do it anyway ! I openly say that I'm not going to feel guilty and ashamed of when there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm glad your neighbour is OK about it, most Brits get associated with Monty Pythons anyway !

[Sarah-RT]

Congratulations Bobbi! its certainly a good step forward and helps to get people out of their shells.

The unfortunate caution that has to go with this is that not everyone will be supportive, interested or approving.. However! if you keep it disclosed to your friends and family they will be the most likely to look past what some may perceive as a flaw and be supportive and approving out of love
As my mom said to me ''if you cant feel safe or comfortable with your family then who can you?''


I openly say that I'm not going to feel guilty and ashamed of when there's nothing I can do about it.


Teresa you are absolutely right, this is your life, you get one go at it, make it the best, but most importantly make it YOUR own xx

[Jaylyn]

I am a very religious person and I believe that we are all Gods people and as my mom used to say He doesn't make trash. Just because one dons the dress and has fun with it doesn't make one a bad person. I am not out because I choose not to be. I don't want to get into trouble with the mods here but I want to tell a story that did happen at the church I regularly attend, I even lead singing there from time to time. We had a new couple show up one Sunday and I presumed it was a male and female. I shook hands with the male and he introduced me to his girlfriend. After services I was told by one of the other men in the congregation that the guy I shook hands with used to be a girl. At first I was shocked but quickly regained my composure and said to the fellow so what? The fellow just shook his head so I then proceeded to tell him my God I worship says he loves every one. The fellow just walked away shaking his head he came back the next Sunday and said he wanted to apologize for his remark and that he had really thought about it and he stated I guess we are who we are no matter what.
I really think we are making progress and it's just a small step at a time. If a hard rough west Texan can get enough courage to say that then we have made progress.
Sorry mods not trying to be on a religious platform here but it applies as we are getting more accepting of one another as we should.

[Bobbi46]

just last week although I had gone out a bit it was just these last few days when I suddenly realised where is was supposed to be facing with all the lovely support from you, I have gained more confidence, before when I was fully dressed I used out of my front garden to see who was coming but now I just go straight out. Without any worries at my local garage when I went for gas it was so warm this afternoon so although totally undressed but with crochet open weave top any body would notice I was wearing a bra but nobody bothered I could have been invisible, but with this thread it has taken a lot of courage to tell those near to me rather that they here it from wrong people. The more support there is for me in this quest the easier it will be. One big hurdle I might have to get over is to tell my grown up kids, although this may not be needed as they live in UK and I am in France and I only see them maybe twice a year. The other side of the coin is that I only reconnected with my daughter have lost contact with her for 15 years so if I told her it might turn her the other way and I will have lost something that I took 15 years to do. There are so many corners to turn and not all of them easy ones.

[Tracii G]

It is interesting that things are changing as far as the topic of CDing acceptance in the general public.

[Candice June Lee]

Women do seem to be more accepting. At least in what I have witnessed and seen. Men not as much yet we are the ones doing this. Go figure.
It's great that you are making steps forward in your journey. There does come a time when we have to open up or be miserable.

[Bobbi46]

In one respect I suppose I was getting miserable about this secret which so many of us have to bear. Tonight I have been invited over to woman friend of mine tonight she has been alone like me in France and she has helped me a lot in the past mainly because she speaks French fluently. But I feel I will be able to tell her how and why I feel and also to have thoroughly down to earth talk about what I am going through. Certainly my experience so far have been all good.

[raeleen]

I have a couple friends who I have often wanted to tell, but always chickened out. Only a couple people I know have any idea I dress, and one of them is someone who also identifies as trans. I have a great friend that I really wanted to share this with before I moved from the midwest, but chickened out at the last minute. I was actually sitting at home dressed when she called me up to chat, and for a split second I almost said to her, "can you come over? i want to talk about something with you." I know she would have done it, but I froze and let the moment pass. I think the desire to share with those we love is strong, but so tough....maybe I still will one day. :)

[Bobbi46]

Before I went out to my friends I was very nervous about how and what I had to say would be received, however I need not have been, it was difficult to start with but when I began explain about how, now that 2 marriages had crashed and I was alone that I realised where I was going with all this. After the initial reticence I relaxed completely and we had a complete open and frank discussion of how I felt both in a sexual and very intimate way and also how I felt within myself and where I was going next. I told her that here I am and this is where I will staying and that I have so far found such peace and contentment within the forum that there would be no turning back. Because my wardrobe is at an early stage of completion ( of course there will always be something to buy) it was the final piece (proper forms) which put the lid on everything and also the calmness that I now have in that I was able to tell someone and that it is not a secret to be hidden away but something to be enjoyed.