tired of not being passable

[Andreaxxx420]

I have been dressing for a long time now. I have never had time to buy a wig or learn how to do make up super well.
I love dressing up. I wish i could go out to the bar or a night out dressed up. im only 26 and skinny.

I feel trapped. I want to go out dressed in a skirt and heels. Be girly!!!!

[Tracii G]

Time to get serious then get a good wig and some make up and practice ,practice,practice.

[Andreaxxx420]

i would love to but becasue of my living arrangment. that wont happen sad face!!

[Tracii G]

What is your living arrangement? Married a girlfriend?

[docrobbysherry]

Andrea, its all about maturity. When get older u will find direction, hopefully. That means wanting something or someone bad enuff to plan the steps necessary to reach your goals. When u finally reach your goals u may find the self esteem that comes with them is an even more important benefit.

Because istead of wishing for things you'll know how to make them happen. That gives many dressers the confidence to go out even tho they never pass. They want to go out, period. And won't let anyone or anything stop them. Be patient and stop wishing. Start planning how to accomplish your independence and other goals!

[Samantha2015]

If you are still in the closet it certainly helps to live alone. I've been living on my own since your age about 20+ years ago.
You may not be able to do that right now but it probably won't always be that way.
You are still young, you have plenty of girl time ahead of you.
Do what little things you can to get through the pink fog days.
And Like Tracii said get a good wig, it makes all the difference !! :2c:

[Donnagirl]

If you really want to do it, you'll find a way... Aliwigs for hair, YouTube for makeup tutorials... Now get out there and we want pics...

[Jennie2]

Hi Andrea
Don't let your situation rule your lifestyle, Set a goal of what want to do and look at ways of achieving that goal. If your living situation is restricting you change it, it may mean getting a new job in a different place, or look for changes you can make within your current situation. You can learn a lot about applying makeup on the internet, find a place to practice, a hotel is a great place for privacy. The important thing is that you have to make the changes, we can advise you but it is down to you
Good luck

[joanna4]

You can do it! I know I did. Collect clothes for a few good outfits, you might need just one that you can wear over and over again. A good wig, now when I started I paid $20 for a halloween wig. Don't do that. Go online and pay $40+ for a decent wig(choice of color,length, etc.) Collect makeup and play with it. I started with cheap and I mean CHEAP makeup. If I could do it over again, I would start with decent drugstore makeup. Brands like Covergirl, Rimmel, Revlon, Maybelline, and L'Oreal. Know a makeup look that you can achieve with your skin tone and face shape and practice, practice, practice. Watching tons of tutorials on youtube can give you ideas and techniques.

Next is to actually do all of that and go out.

[JeanetteX]

Andrea, your still so young girl...you have so much time left to further develop. Dont give up and give yourself time. I started to fully dress just about 10 years ago or so after years of just underdressing. And today I am still learning and developing makeup techniques. And I am years older than you!

[Adriana Moretti]

as already said...you ARE young, and to be honest when I am out at either a bar or cd tg event I STILL am one of the younger gals out there ( and I'm not that young anymore )...my living arrangement is with my mom :( .... I FIND the time for makeup practice late night, and wig shopping...you CAN and will when you truly want to take this to the next level. When I did I set small goals for myself, like today I am going to JUST practice eyeshadow, or eyeliner...NOW I'm going to practice JUST full eye makeup. And as far as having a tough living arrangement, I dont know yours, but as I said I utilize my late night freedom when the household is asleep, you can also get yourself a hotel room for some privacy to explore your feminine side, where there is a will there is a way, you just have to make it happen instead of making excuses. If it is something you TRULY want, you will figure it out.

[Stephanie47]

Amen, Halloween is coming up next month. That day is a day for all cross dressers to buy a wig. You are young. It's a lot easier for young men to buy wigs and clothing for Halloween than guys in their sixties (Me!). Buying makeup? Go to a variety store like Wal-Mart and throw something in the basket when buying milk and eggs or beer. Use the self checkout lanes. The Internet is available for perusing everything and anything. Every label for makeup has a website. You can preshop until you drop.


Time to get serious then get a good wig and some make up and practice ,practice,practice.

And, don't forget Christmas is just around the corner. Every variety store sells sets of makeup in a gift pack. You have a niece, wife or sister? Every cross dressing young man has a young niece!!! Every one!

[Julie Martin]

Andreaxxx, if your subject line is really what you want, being "passable" is a science in itself with lots of moving parts, and achievable by only a few.. "Blending", where you can walk down the street and be read as female by most people, is much more attainable. Read the many informative posts on this site about passing and blending. The good news: if you are 26 and skinny, your chances of attaining the blending level are excellent with the right information. If you live near or can get to a transformation service, you can get expert wig and makeup help in a supportive environment, that could take years of experimentation on your own. Passing, or blending, is mostly from the neck up..passing requires learning a female voice, blending is possible without that.

You can find almost any info you need on line, it just takes time and research. With the right wig, expert makeup help(especially from someone trained in TG makeup techniques), and the various available body shaping techniques, you can look so much like a girl your own mother would be fooled! Going to a bar requires talking, so you'd need the voice to pull that off no matter how great you look..though if you're OK being read as a guy, then you can go for it! But once you learn the tricks of presenting as a female, cruising the mall? No problem. Have fun.

[Lorileah]

Go to a variety store like Wal-Mart and throw something in the basket when buying milk and eggs or beer.
When someone says that it reminds me of American Graffiti where Toad needs liquor and he buys ten other items hoping the clerk doesn't notice. Really, no one cares if you buy makeup except the sales person for those cosmetics (which helped me get the right color and type without batting an eye).

And Halloween people rarely buy good stuff like wigs. It is a one off night and most the stuff is disposable.

[Katey888]

Andrea - you're young, you can find the time to do this if you really want to... :)

And don't worry about "passing" too much - as said before, "blending" is more achievable, but what I'd guess you're after as well is acceptance as much as anything...? You're more like to find this in an LGBT-friendly venue rather than just tolerance... My advice would be start somewhere friendly - and yes, practice until you get better and you will get better... :hugs:

Katey x

[irene9999]

If you're young and skinny I'm sure you can look very feminine (even passable) with the right wig/makeup/outfit. There's lots of tutorials on youtube about makeup, you'd be surprised what a huge difference it can make!

[Junius]

Don't have the time? If you have time to slip on a bra and heels then you have time to experiment with makeup! Don't think of it as a whole facial procedure, instead get good and fast at one thing. Maybe lipstick one week then foundation techniques the next. Take your time and find what looks good before moving on to the next item. It feels daunting at first but once you get the hang of it you'll start enjoying your time in front of the mirror more. As for passing, who are you trying to impress? If the answer is anyone but yourself, rethink and refocus your efforts. Unless you go full transition you might always look like a guy in a dress but if you wear it well then at least you'll be a cute guy in a dress.

[Genny B]

Finding a support group helped me! It helped me find the people that help us too! I learned of a women who sold wigs from her home and made an appointment. And it just kept growing to where I found a place and time to dress! It's an option...

Genny B

[kimdl93]

You have lots of time. You're only 26. (Sigh). So start getting your act together. Find a wig store and get fitted with something that works well in the stylists judgement as well as your own. Go to MAC, Ulta or similar cosmetics store for a make over and some basic lessons. And once you've done that, watch what women are wearing in public and look for styles that work se who have your general height and weight.

Prepare yourself to present to the best of your ability and then do this: forget about passing. Blending in is as good as it gets for most of us. Why set yourself up for disappointment?

[JaytoJillian]

26 AND skinny??? Wow, talk about having the advantage! Put on your Nikes and Just do it, already!

[StephanieinSecret]

Hey, I'm 26, sk8nny, and had my first time out last week. If I can do it, you can do it. The hardest part was just walking in.

[sometimes_miss]

There are tons of videos on youtube which will show you how to do your make up, and pick a wig. Then simply choose an outfit that will go with what you have to offer which appears passable as feminine. There was one really good one....I'll try to find it and get back here. Here you go. A perfect example of a guy who uses what he knows will pass, and covers up a bit of the rest, to become the cute babe that he wants to be. His video initially appeared about I think six or seven years ago under his own channel, which was deleted a few years later; but someone else had reuploaded it. A lot of us wonder what happened to him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBlS0d18Flc
There are more links at the bottom; the first time I saw his video, I was amazed.

There are lots of videos like this. Just search youtube for boy to girl transformation, look for someone who resembles you, and try out the techniques that you see; you can even just go out and buy the same clothes and wig that you see the other person using. Remember, it takes real girls several years of doing make up every day to even begin to get it right. So you're not going to get it perfect in one evening's practice. As much as I'd like to be beautiful, I have a damaged face (birth mark surgery and scars, irregular teeth) that has parts which no amount of normal make up could cover. So there are times when I think I'm better off NOT being able to ever use make up effectively, because of how much work it would be to learn how to do it, besides having a body that could never remotely pass as female (unless you include those east German 'female' olympic athletes from the 60's and 70's).

Watch lots of videos. There are literally tens of thousands of 'how to' beauty videos on youtube. You could also go a few towns over to a big department store that has women at make up counters that give make overs.
Another possibility, if you're really into eventually being out, is that you could take a cosmetology course at a local trade school to learn make up skills, and maybe practice with the other students.
They keep taking down this guy's videos. So I've included several options. Look at his final 'product' and ask yourself if he would pass.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBlS0d18Flc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RN4W2lA9gE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeR90rkLgmg

[prene]

I have been dressing for a long time now. I have never had time to buy a wig or learn how to do make up super well.
I love dressing up. I wish i could go out to the bar or a night out dressed up. im only 26 and skinny.

I feel trapped. I want to go out dressed in a skirt and heels. Be girly!!!!

If I was 26 and skinny, my dream.
Halloween is coming up and get a girl friend to help you and just try it then.
Or just as a girl you know ... u are going to a party and u want to totally surprise everyone and I am sure you can get some help.

I wish I had your problems.

[JoanAz]

Go to local or distant thrift store and shop (don't feel guilty or intimated) just get used to it
NO ONE realy cares what you are buying..DON'T FEEL GUILTY

THE FEW BUCKS things cost will be well worth it ...Enjoy the moment,, by the way I am 76 and was 74 in my avatar
((((HUGGS ))))

[sarahcsc]

Hi Andrea,

Everybody starts off as being not passable. Its about trial and errors and you mustn't be afraid to embarrass yourself.

Being young and skinny works in your favour in many ways instead of being old and chubby.

Be prepared to spend some money if you want to be passable.

I paid a professional make up artist to teach me how to do make up. Its only a one off session and it costs a bit, but hey, its worth it! :)

Love,
S

[Candice June Lee]

For me Sunday mornings are a good time to sit and put on make up. Doing it for my self and learning what will go together and if I goof, I go wash my face and start over.
Like had been said, just spend time blending in rather than passing. Spend time looking at all women and see how they dress and wear make up. You'll find a good mix of differences. Some of the women I see would be better off not trying so hard. Others are more natural and I find that more attractive. Still you have to find what works for you and your own style. Once you get that, you'll be fine and comfortable.

[Jan_Muller]

So glad I DID go out en femme I my 20s, even if I wasn't quite convincing. Now that I am in my 50s, with much more to lose should I be discovered, I treasure the memories of those brief interludes.

[Lexi_83]

Do what I did (probably many did) to start going out - buy a bunch of items for "Halloween Costumes" and keep going! I went out "for Halloween" for about a week, and with all the "upgrades" was able to go out a bit thereafter.

The funny thing was I bet half the salespeople didn't believe it was just for Halloween, although only one said, "Yeah, sure."

[chinabrown]

you need to take a trip to San Francisco. go to a Transformation salon and get the entire makeover and dress package.

SF HAS GOT SO MANY CD/TS/tg FOLKS YOU would not look usual if you did not CD.

Jaime Kennedy can make you look like a Pin up model (of glamour boutique).if he has to he will make you custom prosthetics to get the right look for you cheekbones or face.

[Stephanie47]

When someone says that it reminds me of American Graffiti where Toad needs liquor and he buys ten other items hoping the clerk doesn't notice. Really, no one cares if you buy makeup except the sales person for those cosmetics (which helped me get the right color and type without batting an eye).

And Halloween people rarely buy good stuff like wigs. It is a one off night and most the stuff is disposable.

Well, some men need some sort of cover when buying items that society has told them it's a "no no." Sure, there are those you post here that feel very comfortable sitting at a makeup counter at Macy's in front of passing shoppers...or so they say. It may be a waste of money to buy high end cosmetics at a department store based on the various news reports. There are many good cosmetics in the aisles of Fred Meyer, Wal-Mart, etc. There are many guys who do feel more at ease going through the self check out line. And, not every locale in the USA is as progressive and open minded as Denver. How many posts are there on this site of men driving hours from home to buy a dress? Or are fearful of buying on line or bidding on eBay?

And, the wig? If some guy wants to buy a cheesy wig at a Halloween store that may be all the courage he can muster. He may pass it off as a joke. I bought my first two wigs at regular wig salons during the Halloween seasons 35+ years ago.

Frankly, I think a guy who looks totally non passable would have an easier time psychologically buying women attire, wig and makeup than a guy with a petite figure, and have a face with high cheekbones.

I really do not think a serious MtF cross dresser is at all interested in cheesy outfits, bad makeup and silly wigs. How many times on this forum are there discussions around Halloween as to the potential perils of appearing too passable and negotiating herself in five inch heels? I'm sure there's going to be some threads pretty soon! It's only 37 days away.

My advice is to the novice and not the girls who have been around for a long time. It's remarkable how so many may have short memories of years gone by.

[Kevyn53]

I'm 62 and didn't think I was passable. Several times in the last year my wife and I have gone out as 2 women to nice restaurants and never been pegged. We even got to be friends with one of the waitresses that served us one night and my wife told her a couple of months later that it was me that was the other woman in the restaurant. The waitress had no idea. And I'm not that good at makeup. People see what they want to see. If you're reasonably put together, not outrageous, people see a woman in a skirt and heels. I'm 6 ft tall in heels. Woman come in all shapes and sizes. Go for it.

[Leslie Langford]

Hi Andrea,

Everybody starts off as being not passable. Its about trial and errors and you mustn't be afraid to embarrass yourself.

Being young and skinny works in your favour in many ways instead of being old and chubby...

Say what, sarah??? I resemble that remark... ;) :eek: :doh:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEM7I5VSVjY

[Lorileah]

Well, some men need some sort of cover when buying items that society has told them it's a "no no." Point of reference. I was married to a Bunny from the Playboy club here many years ago. I was very "Macho" at the time, drinking too much, driving too fast, military...etc. My wife had a second job at a biker bar. She liked bikers but that is another story. I visited her there. She explained that she needed something that men don't usually buy. I went to a store, picked it up and paid for it. No questions, the clerk didn't bat an eye. I didn't add three things to it. So I do have a long memory. But maybe I am just braver than most? I dunno. I bought shoes without question. I bought underwear without question.
There are many guys who do feel more at ease going through the self check out line. And, not every locale in the USA is as progressive and open minded as Denver. How many posts are there on this site of men driving hours from home to buy a dress? Or are fearful of buying on line or bidding on eBay? You're right, there are many places less progressive, but the fear is often in the mind, not in the reality (note how few "bad experiences" are in the post about bad experiences)


And, the wig? If some guy wants to buy a cheesy wig at a Halloween store that may be all the courage he can muster. He may pass it off as a joke. those who tell them to are helping waste money that could be spent wiser. Why not just tell them that wigs stores don't care?
I bought my first two wigs at regular wig salons during the Halloween seasons 35+ years ago. case in point. Now let me add a bit here, you buy a cheap wig, you will be noticed and called out more often. So telling someone to buy a cheap wig can lead to one of those "bad experiences" and not only that, even for closeted CDs...seeing yourself in a bad wig can be like garlic to a vampire...you will only see how how bad you look and then you will never go out.


Frankly, I think a guy who looks totally non passable would have an easier time psychologically buying women attire, wig and makeup than a guy with a petite figure, and have a face with high cheekbones. Because....? guys like you describe never buy their wives clothing (reference the above Playboy Bunny story...and my wife...and my GF, whom I always bought clothing for...I have incredible taste.) And big burly guys would NEVER be buying it for themselves...after all they are married to women "the same size".



My advice is to the novice and not the girls who have been around for a long time. It's remarkable how so many may have short memories of years gone by. Yeah, I forgot everything the last 20 years. I would have loved advice from those girls around a long time...Oh wait, that's how I got where I'm at.

I understand closeted...I was. I understand going out looking like I used a paint roller and a spray can for make up because I bought the 29 color Wal-mart shadow. I remember sitting...alone...because I didn't have compadres to be with waiting for the police to take me away for being suspicious. I also remember CDs, DQs and TSs showing me that the way to do things wasn't the cheap way. Halloween wigs live about 1 week. Worth the 9.99 I guess. Cheap makeup makes you look like Mimi on TV...It cakes and flakes...OK for that 15 minute dress session, but not going out. In regard to what I posted initially, again, do you honestly believe that clerks and SAs are that naive they don't know? They just are professional enough to not say it and they sorta like their job.

Any more comments?

[Kaze_]

Passing is HARD.

I'm in my early 20s, wear size 9 jeans, and, excluding chin, don't have an overly masculine face. I've practiced with makeup for a couple years now and am reasonable at it, but I still don't pass.

I guess sometimes you just have to slap on your best smile and jump in... or would it be out?

[Michaelasfun]

The way I look at it is that, even in guy mode, I am no supermodel, and still manage to go about my business without a flaming torch mob chasing me down lol. Invest in a decent wig and practice your makeup and I believe you will get to a point where you feel presentable enough to go out and about.

[Krisi]

It's entirely up to you. It doesn't take time to buy a wig, it takes money.

There's a lot more to it than a wig and makeup. Breast forms, hip/butt padding, learning to walk and sit like a female, learning to talk like a female, etc. Skinny is good, you can use padding to make a girlish figure.

Stop wishing and stop complaining. Get busy collecting the things you need and learning how to emulate a female. Then do it.