First counselor visit

[debstar]

First time for me and while we did not talk about sexuality or CD at all I came away feeling completely drained and worthless. Is this normal ? Perhaps I should bring this up next week :)

I guess off loading a bunch of stuff is a bit emotional draining I feel wiped!

[Katey888]

I think that's normal Jem... :hugs:

It may take several sessions before you feel that something positive begins to come back to you... Pace yourself because it is draining and you may well find further feelings and thoughts coming to you for days afterwards - just make a note so that you can bring them up in future sessions.

Treat yourself now - do something or eat or drink something you like as a little reward for starting the process... :cheer:

Katey x

[debstar]

Thanks Katey.

I do know how every strange / hard it was something good is going to come out of it all.

[kathrynt21]

My first visit with a (new) therapist was draining. I unloaded everything in the first visit! She said, "Well, you really want to get right down to business!" I remember going home and taking a nap. But it has been a great thing. Keep it up! And I agree with Katey! Do something nice to mark the beginning of what should be an interesting journey.

[Tina_gm]

If you feel that way with other issues, wait till you get to CD issues.... Yes, it is very normal. People go to counselors because of situations and circumstances which are causing emotional problems, and when they get out, it can be a very draining experience. I have been to counseling for reasons besides TG issues (although those too) and yes, I have felt a draining like feeling at times. Not all the time though, it depends on the session. Sometimes it feels like being drained, sometimes uplifting, other times a hard look at reality and realizing there is a lot to deal with and do. I think sometimes people go to counseling expecting to feel better, for the counselor to help make them feel better. We ourselves are the ones to make ourselves feel better, a counselor just helps us do that. Unfortunately the old adage 'no pain, no gain' often applies here as well.

[heatherdress]

No pain, no gain.

Good for you to see a therapist and address what you need to.

You should not feel worthless. You are doing something difficult. It should tire you. But realize how much it will help you.

[Heidi Stevens]

The best way to help yourself, is to be yourself and don't hold back. Answer everything truthfully and tell all. If you hold back, the therapist can't make a call that fits you if you hold back. But from what you said, I think you started off good!
I hope you have great success!

[kimdl93]

Expect the first few sessions to be just that....offloading. At some point, the preliminaries will be behind you and hopefully you'll start to begin to start learning some new skills for coping with your life challenges, whatever they may be.

[Robin414]

Hi Jem, yah it can be a little draining for sure but remember you're discussing a serious topic from zero with someone who doesn't know you from Adam...or Eve! Give it a few sessions to get productive!


@Katey...'drink something you like'...oh yah, try three vodka martinis before your next session, let your therapist know what you REALLY think! 😀

@Kathryn...'...you really want to get down to business!'...Ummm, yah, I'm not spending $300 an hour to talk about the f**** weather! 😠

😄

[Nadya]

I've come out of therapy feeling that way all too often. I think its pretty normal if you tend to lock away your emotions. Good luck!

[Jazzy Jaz]

Im sure its a good "drained". Its like doing long, rigorous exercise. Once your finished your not ready to run and play basket ball, your ready to lay down and take a nap. Once you've had several sessions and built your cardio up, then you feel like sprinting when you get out of there.

[debstar]

Thanks all for your feedback. It's nice to know others have had similar feelings. I will defiantly push on... let's see how deep this rabbit hole is.

[Sarasometimes]

Once you connect with your therapist that feeling should really subside. If it doesn't get easier after several sessions consider if the therapist is a good match. You should feel more comfortable over time. I still have sessions that leave me spent and that is after years. It depends on the depth of the topic too.
Give it time then reevaluate if needed.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

People might be interested to know that here in France I've just started seeing an extremely competent and well qualified private therapist who charges 50 euro for a 50-minute session. That's maybe 65 bucks. You guys are getting royally screwed :)

And yes, expect to feel drained- that's exactly what you're doing- you're clearing out your drains. It's colonic irrigation for the mind.

As to feeling worthless- that puzzles me. Perhaps it's possible that what you are describing as a sense of worthlessness may be a baseline, ie what was left after you emptied the drains. It doesn't mean you are worthless, just empty, as in a bucket being 'worthless' until it's filled with water. A car that's out of gas isn't worthless is it?

Bravo to you, bravo, bravo, for having the guts to go see the therapist and for being honest enough - no easy thing for a first session- to empty your bucket. Many people are unable to do that, certainly at first. It tells me that you are utterly sincere in your wish to grow.

Good luck in facing yourself, and don't be fearful of the feelings that come up- it's the entire point.

Hugs, Nikki

[Marcelle]

Hi Jem,

Just curious, is your counselor a gender specialist or a general counselor? The reason I ask is if you were seeing this person about your gender issues (whatever they may be), while your first visit would not have dove deep into the issues there should have been some cursory discussion about issues related to your gender concerns (e.g., CDing and what it means to you). Coming away emotionally drained is a common side effect of counseling as you are sharing deep about yourself so it will take a lot out of you.

Cheers

Isha

[debstar]

@Isha

No this person is a general theripist. I did make a point in my first contact email stating that GI was an issue and you are correct he did not bring that up. We mainly talked about my past, family.

Advertises as LGBT persons welcome so that is why I went.

I had wondered if I should find some one who is more of a specialist in these areas. One in particular is not far from me that does.